Intentional Risk (R.I.S.C. Book 4)

by Anna Blakely

  “I agree. He couldn’t control how his parents viewed him, so he took control of every other aspect of his life. Including me.”

  She took a sip of her wine, her gaze settling somewhere near the horizon. “Things progressed little by little that first year. If we were at a business dinner with him and his associates, I was allowed to talk to the wives, but only the men if they spoke to me first. If I tried to ask questions or initiate a conversation with any of them, he’d chew me out once we got back home.” Charlie’s mouth twisted into a sneer. “I was flirting, he’d say. Or I had looked at one of the men in an inappropriate way.”

  Derek watched her shake her head, the disbelief that her own husband would treat her that way obvious.

  Though he hated thinking about it, he asked, “When did the physical abuse start?”

  “About a year after we were married. We’d attended a charity event his firm was sponsoring. It was black tie, so of course, I’d worn a formal gown. When he first saw me in it, he’d approved. Said I looked like a vision.”

  Charlie stopped again, her throat working overtime in order for her to continue.

  “Toward the end of the evening, he left me alone to go talk business with two of the senior partners. I didn’t feel like making small talk with the rest of the wives, so I went to the open bar and ordered a drink. While I was waiting, a new lawyer from his firm came up beside me, and we struck up a conversation. It was nothing inappropriate at all, but Caleb saw us laughing together from across the room.”

  Derek reached over and took her hand in his. “What did he do?”

  “He acted perfectly fine the rest of the night and even in the car on the drive home. I didn’t know anything was wrong until we got back into our apartment.”

  She drew in a deep, shaky breath making Derek not want to hear the rest.

  “I went in first,” she continued on. “He shut and locked the door behind me. I remember saying something about my feet hurting. I took off my high heels and set them on the floor, and when I turned around, he punched me.”

  His hand inadvertently squeezed hers a little harder, but he kept quiet.

  “I just laid there, crying and holding my jaw. It wasn’t until Caleb started yelling at me and calling me a whore that I even realized what had just happened.”

  Derek clenched his teeth, willing himself not to go off about the asshole. “Then, what?”

  Charlie looked down at their joined hands, tears falling into her lap. “He hit me a few more times and then left me there, just like in the hotel. I woke up the next morning to find he’d had several dozen roses delivered and had arranged them all around the apartment.” Her mouth curled into a contemptuous smile. “Fell all over himself apologizing. Swore he’d never do anything like that again.” She turned to Derek, the pain still fresh in her damp eyes. “For a while, I actually bought it. I’d think this would be the time he means it. The crazy thing is, I think he did, at first. Then, it happened again. And again.”

  Charlie tore her hand from his, stood from the chair, and made her way down the wooden steps. Though he hated to, Derek let her go.

  He used the time to calm his inner killer. It took a massive effort on his part to not get up and leave for New York right then, just so he could end the fucker.

  After giving them both a few minutes to collect their thoughts, he slowly made his way down the same path. His bare feet dug into the dry sand as he walked toward her.

  Charlie was standing at the water’s edge, looking out into the sea as though she wished she could jump in and disappear.

  Not happening, darlin’.

  “You want to know the worst part?” she asked rhetorically, not bothering to look at him. “At one point, I remember thinking I wished he’d just hit me and get it over with. The physical bruises healed, but the things he’d say to me...”

  She ran a hand through her long, blonde hair. Humiliation and grief crossing over her. “One minute, he could be so sweet and loving. The next, he’d cut me down with the most hateful, hurtful words. Within seconds I could go from thinking everything was okay to feeling as though I was the most worthless human being alive.”

  Turning to him, Charlie said, “The crazy part? I always ended up apologizing to him. Even though I knew I’d done nothing wrong, he always managed to twist things around and blame me for the entire argument. I’d walk on eggshells, terrified of saying or doing something to set him off again. Sometimes, it worked. Other days, it seemed as though there wasn’t anything I could do that was right.”

  She paused, and Derek waited, praying she was done. He’d never felt so much hatred for a human being as he did for Caleb Porter.

  Just when he thought she was through, Charlie stared out at the tiny waves and finished her twisted, horrifying tale.

  “I’d work all day on the apartment, making sure everything was spotless and in its place. I’d pick up his dry cleaning and run all his errands. I’d even make him his favorite meal for supper. But Caleb always managed to find the one thing I’d neglected to do. Or...” She shrugged. “Sometimes he’d just make shit up that I should’ve gotten done but didn’t.”

  A look of disgust blanketed her. “He did that sometimes, just so we’d argue, and I’d end up offering to—”

  She cut herself off, and Derek was so fucking thankful. He didn’t think he could stand to hear the rest.

  “How does that happen, Derek?” Her eyes pleaded with him to explain the unexplainable. “How does someone like me who grew up with a father like mine end up here? I knew the signs. All the red flags. I should’ve seen it coming. I should’ve known what was happening and left before it got so bad. Why didn’t I see it?”

  “Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon. Statistically, women who grow up in abusive households are more likely to find themselves in those same types of relationships later on down the road.”

  “It makes no sense. I didn’t want this.” She looked away again. “I always swore I wouldn’t turn into my mother. Yet, here I am.” Charlie’s face nearly crumbled. “I’m exactly like her.”

  “No, you’re not.” Derek turned her to look at him.

  “Really?” She swiped angrily at her damp cheeks. “How am I any different than she was?”

  “For one, she didn’t have me in her corner.”

  Charlie shook her head. “I can’t just sit back and let you protect me from the big bad wolf, Derek. This isn’t your fight. It’s mine.”

  “You’re wrong,” he growled. “The minute that bastard laid a hand on you in anger, this became my fight, too.”

  “Why?” she whispered sadly.

  He locked eyes with hers. Tucking some hair behind her ear, he told her softly, “Because you’re mine, Charlie. And I’m yours.”

  Fresh tears fell from her eyes. “I’ve waited eleven years to hear you say that.”

  Wiping her skin dry with his thumbs, he said, “Then, we’d better not waste any more time. If you’re sure you’re ready to do this, to go up against Caleb, I may know a way to get him to agree to a divorce.”

  “I’m sure. What can I do to help?”

  Derek grinned. Though he’d protect her with everything he had, a part of him loved that she wasn’t one to just sit back and play the damsel in distress.

  This woman was willing to fight beside him, rather than hide behind him.

  “First thing I’ll need from you is as much documentation as you can give me. Pretty sure there’s a notebook inside the house. You need to try to remember as much as you can about what he’s done over the years. Dates, if you can think of them.”

  “I don’t need to do that, Derek.”

  “Darlin’, I know this isn’t going to be easy, but—”

  “No,” she shook her head. “I meant I don’t need to do that because I’ve already done it.”

  This surprised him. “You have?”

  She nodded. “I started a journal a couple of years ago. That’s when it started to get really bad.”

>   “A journal will definitely help.”

  “As soon as I could after an...incident, I’d write down every detail I could remember. Where

  we were, what started it. Dates and times. I even took pictures of myself, then saved them on a jump drive before deleting them from my phone.”

  “That was really smart.”

  She shrugged. “It was done more out of fear than intelligence. I figured if something ever happened to me”—she paused—“if he killed me, then maybe someone would find it and realize what he’d done.”

  Jesus. Derek wanted to torture the fucker to death for making her fear for her life.

  “Where is the journal now?”

  “That’s the problem. It’s in New York.”

  “Your apartment?”

  She nodded. “I kept it hidden beneath a loose floorboard under our bed.”

  Derek thought for a moment. “Okay. That’s okay. I can gain access into the building and then figure out a way to break into the place.”

  “You don’t have to break in.” She smiled. “I still have my key.”

  ****

  Chapter 10

  “I still don’t understand why I can’t go with you.”

  Arms crossed, Charlie stood in the doorway of the bedroom Derek had been using. She watched as he finished putting a set of clean clothes and a toiletry bag into a black duffle, just in case they ran into a snag and he had to stay overnight.

  Her mouth watered just thinking about the kiss they’d shared the day before. Derek had been so sweet and caring.

  For years, she’d dreamed of kissing him. So many nights she’d spent wondering how it would feel. What he would taste like. Now, she knew. It was like being in Heaven.

  Unfortunately, he was leaving. He was going to fly to New York, go to her apartment, and retrieve the morbid journal she had hidden there.

  “I told you I don’t want to risk Caleb seeing you there.” Derek zipped up the bag.

  “But you’ll risk him seeing you? Derek, he’s not a stable man. If he sees you, there’s no telling what he’ll do.”

  He slid the bag’s wide strap over his shoulder and walked toward her. His movements were slow but purposeful.

  God, the man’s sexy when he’s determined.

  “One, he’s scheduled to be in court all day. I already checked.”

  Okay, so that did make her feel a little better. “And two?”

  He stepped in closer, his free hand gently brushing away some of her hair. “Two...you don’t quit lookin’ at me like that, I’ll miss my flight.”

  Charlie’s breath hitched inside her chest. “I thought you were the one flying the plane.”

  He’d told her his boss was letting him use the private, company jet.

  Derek gave her a crooked grin. “I am. But I still have a schedule to keep.”

  The joy she’d felt from their mutual flirting dimmed. “If you know Caleb is in New York, then why does your teammate have to stay with me?”

  “It’s just a precaution, darlin’. I don’t trust Caleb, and it’ll be easier for me to focus on getting’ in and out of your apartment if I know for a fact you’re safe.”

  “I just feel bad for her. Surely there are more interesting things she’d rather be doing than babysitting me.”

  Derek smiled. “Oh, don’t you worry about Mac. I heard her on the phone with Coop, earlier. Said she’d take you shoppin’.”

  “We just went shopping. I have everything I need.”

  “Everything?” His voice dropped, and the blue of his eyes darkened.

  Blushing, Charlie playfully slapped his chest. “You know what I mean.”

  “I know.” He grinned. “I just love makin’ you blush.” Taking her hand in his, Derek said, “Come on. Knowing Mac, she’ll find something girlie for the two of you to do.”

  That struck Charlie as odd. From what Derek had told her, the woman assigned to be her keeper for the day was a highly trained sniper. She’d even been in the Army as a Ranger. That didn’t sound like a girly-girl to her.

  “Well, at least you’re not going alone. That guy out there looks like he could take on three Caleb’s if he had to.”

  Derek grinned. “Grant’s definitely a good one to have on your side. He’ll have my back, don’t worry.”

  “And you’re coming back soon as you find my journal?”

  Stopping their forward movement just before they crossed the threshold into the hallway, Derek turned to face her. His hand gave hers a slight squeeze.

  “Stop worrying so much, Charlie. I’m gonna go in, get your book, and get out. I have your key, so it won’t be an issue making it up to your floor or into your apartment. As far as ops go, this one will be a piece of cake.”

  His eyes fell to her mouth, and she knew he was going to kiss her. She didn’t stop him.

  Derek’s lips pressed against hers, and this time, she didn’t hesitate. Charlie opened her mouth letting his tongue move slowly over hers. It felt as though he were savoring her.

  Something told her that, when the time came, Derek was going to show her everything she’d been missing.

  The thought had Charlie’s innermost muscles tingling with anticipation, and when he ended the kiss, she couldn’t help but let out a sound of protest.

  He tucked some hair behind her ear. “Don’t worry, darlin’. I’ll be back before you know it.”

  Letting go of the last bit of resistance to his plan, she whispered, “Okay.”

  He leaned down and gave her a quick peck on the nose before walking them out to the living room where his friends were waiting.

  “You ready?” He looked to the teammate he’d introduced earlier as Grant.

  The formidable man gave Derek a slight nod, his deep voice steady. “Whenever you are.”

  “Good.” The woman staying with her sighed. “The sooner you two leave, the sooner Charlie and I can have some fun.”

  “Careful, Mac.” Derek’s eyes glittered with mischief. “You keep sayin’ things like that, and Grant and I may stick around for the show.”

  He gave Charlie a playful wink, making her chuckle.

  “You wish, geek boy.” Mac rolled her eyes.

  With a final kiss on the forehead, Derek said goodbye and left with Grant. She prayed for them both to return home safely and that Caleb wouldn’t have a reason to leave court early and go home while the two men were still at her apartment.

  “I thought they’d never leave,” Mac smiled from beside her. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Derek and Grant like brothers, but sometimes it’s nice to get a break from all that testosterone, you know?”

  Charlie smiled back at the woman, though at the moment, she didn’t agree. She wanted to spend as much time as she could with Derek.

  “So, how does this really work?” she asked.

  Mac shrugged. “D told me you two went shopping yesterday, so I’m going to go out on a limb and say that’s not really your top pick for the day.”

  “I don’t need anything, but if you want to go look at some stores, we can. And please don’t feel as though you have to entertain me the entire time you’re here. Honestly, I would’ve been fine by myself. Caleb has no idea where I am, and Derek will be back by tonight. I hate that you had to come all this way just to babysit me.

  “It’s seriously not a big deal. It’s been way too long since I’ve had a girls’ day, anyway. Liv and I usually try to go at least once a month, but this pregnancy has kept her pretty sick. I would ask Lexi, she’s Trevor’s wife,” Mac quickly explained. “But she’s always at work. Either that or she’s hanging out at home with Trev.”

  So many new names to keep track of. Charlie was beginning to think she’d need to make a list.

  “Anyway, that usually leaves me to either hang out with Coop or home alone to veg out on the couch.”

  Charlie would have to ask her later who Coop was. “Well, I’m glad I could help, I guess? And, I do know that it makes Derek feel better knowing you’re here.”


  “Yes, it does. Now, what do you say we find someplace that does a good mani-pedi?” She looked down at her fingernails. “All our ops and the time spent cleaning my gun plays hell on my nails.”

  Charlie smiled at the odd statement. “I’m sure it does.”

  She studied the other woman, trying to imagine the petite blonde fighting alongside men like Derek and Grant. It was hard to picture such a cute, vivacious woman as a soldier. A killer.

  As she looked at the other woman’s long, blonde ponytail, an idea struck.

  “Actually, I think a day at the salon might just be what I need.”

  Mac’s eyes lit up, and when she smiled, a tiny dimple made an appearance in her left cheek. “Excellent.”

  Charlie smiled back. “I’ll get my purse.”

  Derek had given her a ridiculous amount of cash this morning when he’d first gone over the plan with her. She’d tried to politely decline, but Derek being Derek, had gone to her purse and shoved the bills inside, anyway.

  As she and Mac left the beach house and started down the sidewalk toward Mac’s car, Charlie couldn’t help but smile. She’d done that so much lately, and it was all thanks to Derek.

  She thought of what she had planned and had to admit she was a bit nervous. It had been a long time since she’d done anything to alter her appearance because this was how Caleb liked her to look.

  To hell with him and his insane, controlling ways. It was time to be her own person again.

  ****

  Chapter 11

  “Holy padded psych room, Batman. Are you seein’ what I’m seein’?”

  Derek glanced around Caleb Porter’s apartment. He didn’t think of it as Caleb and Charlie’s. If he had any say in it, she’d never step foot in this place again.

  “Looks like a fucking museum,” Grant answered from beside him.

  “Yeah, a museum for the king of all things OCD. It’s like no one actually lives here.”

  The place was seriously spotless. As in, could eat off the fucking floors, spotless. And everything was white.