The Sin Eater

by Lee McIntyre

  “Yes, I’m afraid so. We have to interview Emma before her testimony is tainted by other conversations.” Castro and the cops all turned their heads simultaneously toward Adam. “But I understand your concern about startling her. Maybe you and I could go in together and leave the men here in the living room? You can be present during the interview, as long as you don’t interfere. Otherwise I’m going to have to ask you to wait here as well.”

  “I can’t fit my chair through the doorway to her bedroom,” Kate choked out. “It’s new. We don’t have everything fixed yet. Adam, can you carry me?”

  Castro shook her head. “We can do the interview at another location, but I expect you’d probably want to avoid that. Perhaps you could call her from the hallway?”

  “Can’t I just go in?” Adam said.

  “No,” Castro said. “We’ll try it from the hallway. Mrs.Grammaticus can watch and hear everything from there. I won’t go into the room until Emma is completely awake and comprehends what’s going on.”

  “How in the world could she comprehend what’s going on?” Kate said.

  Castro got up from her seat and pointed down the hallway. “Is it this way? Do you need me to push you, Mrs.Grammaticus?”

  “No, I can manage,” Kate sniffled. She grabbed the toggle and buzzed across the living room, cutting in front of Castro as she sped down the hallway. “Emma? Sweetie? Can you wake up for a minute?”

  Adam could hear the desperation in his wife’s voice. He wanted to go to her, but when he took a step forward, the white cop shook his head. When the women disappeared, Adam sat down and buried his face in his hands.

  Chapter 3

  Even though the cops and social worker had gone, the air hung with their presence. After half an hour of singing and soothing, Emma had finally gone back to sleep — in Adam and Kate’s bed — while they huddled down the hallway in the living room, speaking in whispers.

  “Is Emma all right?” Adam asked.

  “I think so. But you heard her. How would you feel finding a stranger in your room in the middle of the night?”

  “So what did she say?”

  “Nothing really. Nothing about a tool, that’s for sure. I think Rachel is making the whole thing up.”

  “So was Castro convinced?”

  Kate let out a sniffle and rubbed her nose with the back of her hand. “Probably not. She didn’t ask her directly about any cutting, but she did ask whether Daddy ever hurt her. Emma said no.”

  “So that’s good?”

  “Not really. She said no to everything. ‘Do you have a nanny? Does Daddy brush your hair? Do you like your room?’ She didn’t get much out of her.” Kate’s voice broke into a sob and she slumped forward in her chair. “She’ll probably be back.”

  Adam leaned forward and hugged Kate. He kissed the top of her head rhythmically as he held her hands and looked out at the ruined feast on the deck.

  “Adam?” Kate said softly. “What should we do?”

  He waited until she looked up at him. “Maybe we should take Emma and run.”

  Kate frowned with her mouth open. “What are you talking about? How can we do that? Why would we do that? I’m in a wheelchair, Adam. How far do you think we’d get? And what are we running from if nothing happened? We need to fight this.”

  Adam was prepared to fight. There was no doubt about that. No one was going to take his child. But this wasn’t about him, it was about Emma. Yes, he needed to clear his name. But he also needed to make sure that Emma didn’t go someplace where she would be surrounded by strangers and bad things could happen to her.

  A terrible thought occurred to him. “Kate! Kate!”

  “Quiet, Adam. You’ll wake her.”

  “You don’t suppose somebody else hurt Emma, do you? Could Rachel have done something? Maybe she brought her to someone’s house and they hurt her. What the hell is this about a sharp tool unless there was one? Maybe Rachel hurt Emma and now she’s trying to cover it up.” Adam was furious. “I will fucking kill her. I will take her life with my own hands. Fucking Goth punk with all her piercings. She’s probably got plenty of sharp tools around her apartment.”

  “Adam, calm down. Before the social worker left, she turned on the overhead light and made Emma take off her pajamas. She looked her all over. Everywhere. That’s what all the crying was about. There’s not a mark on her. She found the scar and the bald spot, but that’s it. Emma’s fine.”

  “So you’re saying Rachel didn’t do anything?”

  “I don’t trust her, of course not. She’s definitely lying about something. Someone told Emma to say that thing about the sharp tool. Or maybe that’s what Rachel is lying about. I don’t think Rachel actually hurt Emma — physically, anyway. But she’s never going to go near my child again.”

  Adam sat back down and took Kate’s hands again. “Who can we call? Tonight? They could come back in the morning and take her. I want to know what we should do. Now.”

  “Maybe I can call Elaine. She’s a lawyer,” Kate said.

  “It’s two in the morning in Boston.”

  “So? We stayed up way later than that in college. The freshman roommate thing, remember? It lasts for life. After my parents died, she was all I had until you came along. You’ve got Tugg and I’ve got Elaine.”

  “Tugg was high school, but I see your point.”

  “Elaine does criminal defense. Maybe she’ll know something about this. Help me find my cell.”

  The wind was cold out on the deck. Adam resisted the temptation to clear the dishes and just do something. He forced himself to wait. He could see Kate talking animatedly through the sliding glass door, but couldn’t hear a word. Didn’t want to. He welcomed the chance to be alone and think.

  Adam listened to the towering fir trees rubbing against one another and the small wind-whipped waves lapping the shoreline. What made wind so much more exciting in the dark? The house was small, but perfect for them. Great view. Great schools. Great neighbors. What did any of that matter now? You could make every right decision in your life, and trouble would still find you. Kate in a wheelchair. Child Protective Services at the door. For what?

  Sometimes Adam wondered if every bad thing in his life was some sort of karmic punishment for what he’d done when he was fifteen. He’d never paid for that. Maybe he was paying now. The temptation to tell Kate had been overwhelming over the years, but he’d held fast to his promise. Kate might be the love of his life, but Tugg had seniority.

  Adam saw Kate waving for him to come in.

  “What did she say?”

  “Just what you’d expect. She said don’t even think of running. They’d catch you and you’d never see Emma again. Follow the process. And get a local lawyer. She said she’ll send us some names in the morning, but there’s nothing more we can do tonight.”

  Adam paced up and down in front of the sliding glass door.

  “She’s asking us to trust the process, but I don’t,” he said. “You saw what they did to us tonight. They could come back and take Emma anytime.”

  “But they’d have to have a reason, wouldn’t they? And if they’d had one, they would’ve taken her tonight. Wouldn’t they need more than what Rachel’s said so far?”

  “What if Rachel says something else? Are you willing to wait around for that?”

  “Not really, but what else can we do? We’ll get a lawyer in the morning.”

  Adam stopped moving.

  “I need another perspective on this. I need to call Tugg.”

  “What can he do?”

  “He’s my best friend, Kate. You just talked to Elaine, I need to talk to Tugg.”

  “You haven’t talked to him in over a year. Do you even know where he is?”

  “Of course I do,” Adam said. “Wherever he is, he’s got his cell. He has to get off the motorcycle sometime.”

  “Okay, but please make me a promise?”

  Adam just looked at her.

  “Don’t do anything without ch
ecking with me first. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that I don’t want you two deciding to do something that’s risky for us. For Emma. You know how Tugg gets. Once he hears you’re in trouble, it’ll be Defcon Three.”

  “He’s my best friend.”

  “A friend will help you move. Tugg would help you move a body.” A tiny smile cracked her face. “But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

  “Dude, how’s it going? Long time.”

  The sound of Tugg’s voice was like coming home. No matter how long it’d been since they last talked, they always picked up right where they’d left off. With men, your best friend could be someone you hadn’t seen in ten years. Why didn’t women understand that?

  Kate had finally settled down in their bed next to Emma, and both were fast asleep. Adam had shut the door and returned to the living room.

  “Tugg, it’s good to hear your voice. Where are you?”

  “Oh, you know. Somewhere north of Kingman. Beautiful night. Don’t even need the tent, so I’m looking at the stars.”

  “Sounds great. Are you alone?”

  “As alone as I’ll ever be, talking on a cell phone that’s trackable and allegedly not monitored by the National Security Agency. How about you? Kate and Emma okay?”

  Adam hesitated. “No.That’s why I’m calling.”

  He had to steel himself for what came next. Kate was right about Tugg. Tugg had probably always had the tendencies. Maybe it had just gotten worse since what happened to them as kids. But after that whole thing in the Air Force, any tendencies were set in cement. For Tugg, there was no bright line between friendship and samurai. Loyalty took precedence over consequences. Maybe that was why he had so few friends.

  When Tugg got out of military prison and got his papers, he had just started riding – moving — always alone. “Better than Zoloft and a chaser of Jack Daniel’s,” Tugg always said. Adam wished that he could help him, but for the last two years that had meant never asking Tugg to do anything that might set him back or set him off. The doctor had said not to push him. Now he had no choice.

  “Share it, brother,” Tugg said. “What do you need?”

  “Nothing right now. Just some advice.”

  “About?”

  “Well, this is where it gets complicated.”

  Adam held back at first, but finally poured out the whole story about Kate’s recent physical deterioration, the wheelchair, the new nanny, and the visit from social services.

  “Bitchy Goth girl lied, huh?” Tugg said. “Do we know why yet?”

  “Not a clue. And we’re worried she might keep on lying. That’s the problem. We don’t know what to do.”

  “Damn few people would.”

  “So, Tugg. What would you do?”

  “You want me to come up there?”

  “No, thanks. We’ve got our hands full right now. I’m just asking for advice.”

  “So who you going to have watch Emma while all this is going on? You got no nanny. You got no family.”

  “You’re my family.”

  “Damn straight. Let me come up then. The ‘guilty until proven innocent’ crowd don’t trust you, and Kate can’t do it. Yours truly folds a mean diaper.”

  Adam laughed. “Emma’s been out of diapers for a while now, Tugg. But thanks. I can just see you sitting on the floor playing Thomas the Tank Engine in all that leather.”

  “You’re worried what CPS would think of me. I respect that. But the offer stands. I’m there if you need me.”

  Adam felt a catch in his throat. “You’re a good man. For now, just tell me what you’d do. If you were me, how would you handle this?”

  Adam heard Tugg take a drag on his cigarette. He imagined a lone figure standing on a windswept plain.

  “I’d snatch her and run.”

  “Kate’s friend is a lawyer,” Adam said. “She told us not to.”

  Adam heard Tugg inhale, then blow out again. “She has no idea what’s coming.”

  Chapter 4

  After three days at the house, with Adam and Kate on their phones practically non-stop, even a trip downtown to the lawyer’s office felt like an outing. Lisa Castro hadn’t come back and Rachel had apparently made no new allegations, but they were determined to get ahead of this. Meeting with the lawyer was the next step.

  “Can you swing your legs out, or should I just pull them?”

  The taxi driver sat frozen in his seat, probably a little pissed that the meter wasn’t still running, while Adam negotiated the complex set of arrangements. He had to get Kate turned ninety degrees so that she could get out of the back seat and into the wheelchair that was waiting on the curb of S.W. 6th Avenue. Forget parking downtown on a day like this; Adam had wanted to make it as easy as possible. This was easy?

  Bless their neighbor Mrs.Nguyen for agreeing to watch Emma for the morning. And bless Kate for being such a good sport about the lawyer not being willing to make a home visit and insisting that they just come see him, like everyone else.

  “Just let me turn a little bit. Give me a minute,” Kate said.

  “How about if you just lie down on the back seat and I pull you out?”

  “Maybe you could give everyone on the sidewalk a camera so they could take a picture of my coochie while you’re at it, Adam. Shit. Just give me a minute.” Kate scooted her bottom back and forth in a dozen little movements, like a new driver trying to recover from a blown parallel parking job, but she finally got herself turned. “Now just lift me out and put me in the chair.”

  “Okay, sorry about that.”

  “We’ll get this with practice. The new normal, right?” Kate clasped her hands around Adam’s neck and he gently lifted her out of the cab and sat her down into the wheelchair.

  After making sure that the brakes were locked and she was belted, Adam slammed the car door, paid the driver through the window, and turned back to Kate. “Welcome to our little adventure in litigation.”

  “We’re not there yet,” Kate said. “This chair’s got no motor, so you’re going to have to be gallant and drive me.”

  “I can do that, m’lady.” Adam unhitched the brakes and rolled toward the building.

  What a nightmare. The doctor had told them that stress would make Kate’s symptoms worse, and what could be more stressful than what they’d just been through and what they had in front of them? Stress over the child abuse allegations was bad enough, but there were other factors too. Stress over the effect that all this might have on Emma. Stress over who would watch her now that Rachel was out of the picture. Adam had called work and made up a story about Kate having a relapse, so he could buy himself another week. But how long might it be before the allegations went public and they had that worry on their hands, too?

  And of course there was the plain fact that even before any of this had happened, Kate had been upset over her recent physical deterioration. What a change from the life she’d been living when Adam first met her. Goalie of the field hockey team. Track in the spring. Kate had been determined to get as much out of her body as she could before it failed her. After college, Kate had turned her fierce intelligence and enormous heart toward helping some of the truly disadvantaged in society, even while she became progressively more disadvantaged herself. After twelve years as a Victim Witness Advocate at the DA’s office in Boston, she’d jumped at the chance to become the new resource coordinator for Families in Transition when Adam got his new job in Portland. Now Kate could make even more of a difference in the lives of people who were undergoing some of the worst “transitions” that a family could make: losing a child to violence, preparing to support a family when the primary breadwinner was headed to prison, applying for social services after a catastrophic illness. Kate had seen real suffering up close for so long that Adam knew she wouldn’t buckle. In fact, what had happened to them was really pretty small when compared to some of the horror stories Kate had to deal with on a daily basis. They had the resources and connections to do wh
atever it took. It was different, however, when it happened to you.

  People whooshed by in the revolving door at the front of the building. Adam pressed the blue button and watched the adjacent glass door gently swing open in front of Kate’s wheelchair. When they got to the elevator, he remembered to pull her to the side, so she wouldn’t block the doors.

  The change in Kate’s physical condition was heartbreaking to watch. She could move her hands well enough to use the phone and take notes on the computer, but she still couldn’t walk, and needed Adam’s help every time she used the bathroom. That’d been fine over the last few months, while he was home, but what would they do next? One thing at a time. They’d both done yeoman work on the phones so far, with Kate on her cell in the bedroom and Adam on the landline in the living room, battling away at all they had before them: finding a good lawyer, looking for a new nanny for Emma, looking for a home health aide to be with Kate during the day if and when Adam went back to work, and God knows what else Kate had been preoccupied with on the Internet and phone over the last three days. Adam had heard her talking to colleagues at work, who sounded ready to move the whole office out to Lake Oswego to look after her round-the-clock. They could use the help, but how to accept it without letting everyone know that Adam had been accused of child abuse? He’d also heard her crying on the phone with Elaine a couple of times. Best not to interfere with that.

  Maybe I should call Tugg again, too.

  The elevator door opened on a suite of offices with floor-to-ceiling glass walls in the hallway, the reception area, and the conference room, all the way to the outside of the building, so that they could see the spectacular views of downtown Portland and the Willamette River.

  “Elaine says this guy is the best in Portland. She went to law school with someone from the Governor’s office in Salem who recommended him. He does a lot of work with government agencies and he’s an expert on child welfare issues. Very well connected, but not many private clients. We’re lucky to get him.”