The Sin Eater

by Lee McIntyre

  “Except he doesn’t make house calls,” Adam said. “And I can see why. He probably bills $500 an hour.”

  “His paralegal said $550 when she set up the appointment. But whatever it takes, right?”

  “Absolutely,” Adam said, tightening his jaw. “Whatever it takes.”

  They rolled up to the receptionist’s desk.

  Steve Carnap’s office had an even more impressive view than the reception area. And he was pretty impressive himself. Tall and lean, he had a kind face and watery eyes, and he had already moved the chairs so that Kate would have a free path to sit next to Adam.

  Carnap sat in a wing chair with his back to the view.

  “I just got off the phone with CPS half an hour ago,” he said. “There’s been some progress on your case, but it requires a commitment on your part to cooperate. If you’re willing to do that, then I think this whole matter might be cleared up relatively quickly. Within a matter of weeks.”

  Adam looked at Kate, who was smiling, then swung back to Carnap, who was not.

  “What do they want us to do?” Adam said.

  Carnap hesitated. “You’re not going to be crazy about this, but it’s the best path forward. I’ve seen it before and I think we can work with this.”

  “Work with what?” Adam said.

  Carnap looked directly at Adam. “They want you to acknowledge the abuse.”

  “What?”

  “They said that they would drop the investigation if you were willing to enroll in parenting classes and acknowledge the abuse. The feeling is that willingness to acknowledge past abuse is a vital part of demonstrating parental fitness, which is what they need to determine in order to protect Emma’s welfare. Without that, they’re worried that any abuse might continue.”

  Adam felt as if he’d been hit by a bomb.

  “This is bullshit,” Adam said. “I didn’t hurt Emma. What kind of a Catch-22 is this? If I lie and say I abused her, they’ll let us keep her? But if I tell them I’m innocent — which is the truth — then they’ll take her away?”

  “I know it’s awful, but that’s how it works.”

  Kate shook her head. “You want Adam to confess to a felony? How can that help us?”

  “Well, let me be clear about something.” Carnap cleared his throat. “You hired me to represent you in making sure that Emma didn’t get taken into custody by CPS. Nothing else. You might want to get the opinion of a criminal defense attorney for Adam’s sake if you decide to go this route. My retainer only covers the CPS matter. And I’m not a criminal attorney.”

  “Twenty-five thousand dollars is a lot of money,” Adam said.

  Kate shifted in her seat.

  “Indeed it is,” Carnap said, “but if you don’t admit the abuse, things could get protracted. Of course, you don’t want to decide such an important question on the basis of fees, but even so, on the narrow question of the custody matter alone, that would probably be the cleanest route.”

  Adam could feel the blood pulsing in his ears. “So I have to confess to something I didn’t do, based on one allegation from a twenty-year-old kid who’s a liar. With no physical evidence. Is that about it?”

  “They’re worried about the incident two years ago, too,” Carnap added. “That came up repeatedly. It seems that you were put on a state child abuse registry at the time and may not have known about it.”

  “What?” Adam said. “How could that have happened?”

  “Wouldn’t they have told us?” Kate said.

  “Not necessarily,” Carnap answered. “This isn’t like the sex offender registry. It’s not on the Internet and it isn’t available to the public. It’s used as a screening tool for day-care centers, schools, adoption agencies, and people who want to become foster parents.”

  “But it’s a mistake,” Kate said. “They cleared us. It was just a routine assessment they did at the hospital because Emma came in with an injury. There was no investigation because no one was really worried. The social worker told us that.”

  “It doesn’t take an investigation. Just a report. And unfortunately, the downside of it not being public is that there are a lot of mistakes on the state registry. People don’t even catch it usually until something goes wrong.”

  “Like now,” Kate said.

  The lawyer nodded.

  “Can we get removed from it?” Adam said.

  “You could request a hearing.” Carnap inhaled deeply. “But in the present circumstances I would say that this doesn’t seem like a fruitful use of your time and resources.”

  Adam was reeling. How much more could they pile on his shoulders? They had to give him something. “What about Kate?” he asked. “So she’s listed too?”

  “No, just you,” Carnap said. “As I understand it, she was in the other room when Emma fell. They said that she’d have to go through the parenting classes too, if you want to get the investigation dropped, but she isn’t on the registry and she wouldn’t have to admit to any abuse. Either time. They don’t think she knew about it. And, in fact, there’s another angle.”

  “Which is what?” Adam said.

  Carnap drew another breath. “In the current context, they’re worried that you might be a threat to Kate as well.”

  “You must be kidding me,” Kate said.

  How much worse can this get?

  “Let me explain.” Carnap stood and went over to his desk to retrieve a file. When he came back, he just stood there, towering over them like a prosecutor making his case. “Kate is physically unable to care for Emma by herself. So, without a caretaker for Emma, they’re reluctant to leave her in your home. At this point Adam is the only caretaker. And unless he admits to past abuse, he remains under suspicion for the likelihood of future abuse. To you and to Emma.”

  “That’s the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard,” Kate said. “Adam didn’t touch Emma. He’s the gentlest man I’ve ever known. But put that aside for a moment. Can they show me any research at all that shows that failure to acknowledge past abuse leads to future abuse? I’ve been reading everything I can about child abuse for the last three days, and I haven’t seen anything about this. They can’t be serious. They’re just making things up.”

  Adam teared up a bit, but he couldn’t tell whether it was pride in Kate’s logic or joy in hearing her defend him so vigorously. He felt that he should say something more on his own behalf. “More Catch-22. If we had a nanny we could keep Emma home, but our nanny is the one who’s lying, so we’re out of luck.”

  “Sorry, that’s the way it is,” Carnap said. Instead of sitting down, Carnap walked back to his desk and perched on its edge while he searched for something in his file drawer.

  “So what are our choices?” Adam said. “I won’t confess to something I didn’t do and I won’t let them take my little girl.”

  “You may have no choice,” Carnap said. “Is there anyone else who might take Emma temporarily?”

  “No, no family,” Kate said.

  “Neither of you?”

  “No,” said Adam.

  “Any friends or co-workers who might help out?

  Adam hesitated. “I don’t want anyone to know what’s going on. I could lose my job.”

  “Then you should find another nanny.” The lawyer’s head disappeared as he reached for the bottom drawer. “That should help things temporarily.” His head reappeared. “But we don’t have to wait for a hearing. We can request one. Let me see what I can do. If you don’t want to admit to the abuse, I’d say your best interests are served by getting this in front of a judge right away. I just found the docket list for the next —”

  The phone on his desk rang.

  Adam and Kate exchanged a quick whisper about what to do next, then turned back when they realized the call was about them.

  Carnap’s side of the conversation consisted of a series of “uh huhs” and other cryptic interjections such that neither of them could figure out what was going on. His face told them more than wo
rds could. When he put down the phone, Carnap looked visibly shaken.

  “That was CPS. I have some news about your case, but at this point I’ll need some time to think about its impact. And the retainer will have to be increased to fifty thousand dollars.”

  “What is it?” Kate said. “Did Rachel make up another lie about us?”

  “No.” The lawyer shook his head. “Rachel is dead.”

  Chapter 5

  Emma kept running back and forth in the living room between Adam and Kate to show off her newfound treasure. “It’s a flower, Daddy!”

  Adam held up the carefully folded tissue paper, with curled red petals on top and squished green tape on the stem, and gave it back to Emma.

  “It’s beautiful, honey.”

  “It’s a rose! Mrs.Nguyen showed me how to make it. She’s got a whole boxful. All kinds of flowers.”

  “Those are great,” Kate said. “Are you going to make more of them?”

  “I need help,” Emma chirped. “Can you help me, Mommy?”

  Kate gave a firm smile. “Mama’s hands don’t work like they used to, honey. And Mama and Daddy are pretty tired from their big meeting this morning.”

  Emma flicked the flower back and forth with her thumb and turned away from Kate. “Did you have a good time at your big meeting?”

  “Not really,” Kate said. “It wasn’t that kind of meeting.”

  Emma kept her back turned. “Is the lady coming back?”

  Adam saw that Emma was pulling the petals off the rose one by one and dropping them on the floor. “Honey, you’re ruining it,” he said.

  “I don’t care.”

  “That’s not very nice to your flower.”

  “I can make another one. Mrs.Nguyen gave me some extra paper.”

  “Okay, I’d like to work on that with you later,” Adam said. “But for right now can you go play in your bedroom for a while, so Mommy and Daddy can talk?”

  “SMART PHONE!” Emma yelled. “Birds, birds, birds.”

  “Okay, just this once,” Adam said, hauling it out of his pocket.

  Emma grabbed her treasure and tore down the hallway.

  “So what the hell do we do now?” Adam said. “Does Rachel’s death make things better or worse for us?”

  “Adam, jeez. I know how you feel because I feel exactly the same way, but try not to talk about it like that, okay? If Castro comes back and hears you say something like that, who knows what she might think?”

  “So they’re sure it was murder?”

  “You were there, Adam. You heard Carnap. Not in so many words, but I don’t think there’s any doubt.” Kate craned her neck to see if she could hear anything down the hallway. “Rachel was found in her apartment with multiple stab wounds. Isn’t that enough?”

  “Maybe she stabbed herself. Maybe she felt guilty about — oh, I don’t know — lying through her teeth about us?”

  “There it is again,” Kate said. “Tone it down, willya?”

  “Maybe she found that sharp tool.”

  “Adam, you’ve got to get a grip on yourself. This isn’t over yet. We can get through this, but we’ve got to handle it right. Now that Rachel is dead, I don’t think her complaint has the same weight.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because there’s no witness. There’s no affidavit. What she told CPS triggered the investigation, but for them to actually take Emma there’d have to be a court hearing. They’d have to present evidence. And their star witness is dead.”

  “How do you know all this?”

  “I did have a life once, remember? I’ve worked with a few ‘families in transition’ in my time. I saw a case once back in Boston where the person who reported the abuse recanted at the last minute. They dropped the charges.”

  “So we’re off the hook?”

  “Not by a long shot.”

  Adam shook his head and scooted toward Kate. “You know what I fucking hate about that wheelchair is that we can’t sit together like we used to. Can’t I just move you to the couch?”

  “I’ll need to go to the bathroom first.”

  “Okay.” Adam stood up.

  “Hey, not just this second, okay? Stop ordering me around. We’ve got to talk about this before anything else happens, don’t we? Didn’t you and Tugg ever have any secrets together when you were kids? Didn’t you ever need to get your stories straight?”

  Adam swallowed and smiled. “Sure. Of course. But what is it?”

  Kate looked at Adam as if he were a puppy dog. “You really don’t get it, do you? You’re going to be the prime suspect in Rachel’s death. The only people who knew about what she’d done to us were Elaine, Tugg and us.”

  “And the authorities,” Adam added.

  “Duh, so what? Our lawyer knew too, but he’s not a suspect either. Elaine is in Boston and Tugg is off doing wheelies in the desert somewhere. That leaves us.”

  “You mean that leaves me,” Adam said.

  “Double duh. Look at me,” Kate said. She held out her hands and Adam took them. “But no matter how bad it looks, they can’t make a case against you either. It just won’t work.”

  Adam stared at her, uncomprehending.

  “Until this morning we didn’t leave the house for the last three days, Adam. As alibis go, that’s pretty solid.”

  “I could have slipped out while you were sleeping.”

  Kate smiled. “But you didn’t. I would have noticed.”

  Adam smiled back. “Oh, really? I slip out with Mrs.Nguyen all the time.”

  Kate threw her head back and laughed. Adam was overjoyed to see her first real smile in days.

  “Yes, that’s just who you’d leave me for. A five-foot-tall octogenarian.”

  “But Mrs.Nguyen has skills.” Adam chuckled. “She can cook.”

  “And she makes a mean tissue rose. Yes, I know. Mrs.Nguyen no doubt has her many attractions. But you’re a man of loyalty, Adam. I knew that when I met you.”

  Adam looked deeply into Kate’s eyes. “You’re the only woman I’ll ever love,” he said.

  “That’s not true.” Kate pulled her hands back. “That’s a lie and you know it.”

  “Yes, of course,” he said. “Emma.”

  Kate leaned forward and put her arms around his shoulders.

  “You’re the only people I really love in this whole damned universe and you’re the only ones who love me back,” Adam said.

  Kate kissed Adam on the forehead then pulled back. “That’s another lie. How many is that now, two?”

  Adam looked at Kate. She raised her eyebrows and gave a mischievous grin until he finally said it.

  “Tugg.”

  Chapter 6

  “It’s the lady! It’s the lady!”

  Adam stumbled down the soft carpet toward Emma’s room and heard the knocking on the front door that had probably woken her. It wasn’t a nightmare after all. She was afraid of the knocking.

  At 7:00 a.m. on a Sunday?

  “Daddy’s coming,” Adam said. He landed in a lump at Emma’s bedside, still in his pajamas, and held her. “It’s not the lady.”

  “Then who is it?” Emma yelled.

  “Adam?” Kate called from the next room.

  “I don’t know, sweetie. But it’s not the lady.”

  Whap. Whap. Whap.

  “It is too!”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Well, can you go see?” Emma wailed.

  Adam!

  Adam picked Emma up and hustled her back to Kate, where he deposited her on his side of the bed and managed a quick kiss on top of the head.

  “I’ll go see who it is and tell them to go away.” He looked at Kate, who was too busy soothing Emma to ask the question he saw in her eyes.

  What if it was the lady?

  Adam hurried down the hall. “Coming, coming.” He opened the front door.

  Different cops this time: Tony Soprano’s twin brother and an Asian woman with square shoulders and her hair yank
ed back.

  “Adam Grammaticus?” said Tony’s twin.

  “Yes. Where’s the lady?”

  Tony looked at his partner. “Cute, but not funny. Can we come in?”

  “I mean, where’s Child Services? Where’s Lisa Castro?”

  “I ain’t got a clue, but we’d like to come in anyway.”

  Adam stood aside.

  “Anyone else home?” said the Asian woman.

  “My wife and daughter. They’re in the next room. Why?”

  “We might need to talk to your wife at some point,” the woman said.

  “What about?”

  “Let’s sit.” Tony indicated a chair for Adam. “So, Mr.Grammaticus,” he said, “we’d like to ask you some questions about the death of Rachel Norwood. As I understand it, she was your nanny. Is that correct?”

  “I think I need a lawyer present before I can answer any questions,” Adam said.

  Tony looked over at his partner. “Up to you.”

  “Adam!”

  “Excuse me for a minute.” Adam hurried down the hallway and disappeared for a few minutes, then came back to the living room.

  “Sorry about that. My wife is handicapped and can’t get out of bed by herself. She wants to know if I’m being charged with anything.”

  “Not at this time,” Tony said. “This is just a routine follow-up that we’re doing with all of Ms.Norwood’s friends and associates. If you’d prefer to have a lawyer present it’s your choice, but then let’s meet down at the station house.”

  Adam shook his head. “I guess I don’t need one, then. Just go ahead and ask your questions. I’ll tell you if I need to stop.”

  “Right,” Tony said. He flipped open a little leather book. “So how did you come to hire Ms.Norwood?”

  “My wife hired her. From an agency, I think.”

  “Adam!”

  The cops looked down the hallway toward the sound of Kate’s voice.

  “Mr.Grammaticus, do you suppose your wife could come out here?” said the Asian officer.

  “She can’t,” he said, getting off the sofa. “She’s in bed watching our daughter. Excuse me.”