Shine

by Jessica Jung

  I slink after Mr. Han, trying not to look at anyone in the face. As I walk past, I hear Eunji whisper, “Come on, guys, it’s sweet. Her mom probably just wants to make sure she went potty today.” My face burns.

  Mr. Han pauses for a brief moment by the door to smile at Mina, who smiles back quickly. Lizzie raises her eyebrows at her, and Mina waves a hand. “He’s a friend of my father’s. We had him over for dinner last week,” Mina says as we walk out the door.

  “Um, thank you for coming to get me, Mr. Han,” I say, following him down the hall. “I hope I didn’t interrupt any important business.”

  “Not at all, Rachel,” Mr. Han says. “I just happened to be in the office when your mother called, and I thought I’d pay you a visit. Don’t worry. I understand,” he adds, giving a nod toward the training room. “I have a nervous mother as well. She likes to call me five times a day. I keep telling her to text, but she complains the letters on her phone are too small. In fact,” he says, hitching up his suit sleeve and glancing at his watch, “I think I’m overdue for a call.” He smiles at me and I smile back, taking in the watch on his wrist—it looks vintage, the leather on the strap worn but smooth and the square gold face gleaming with just the right amount of patina.

  “I love your watch, Mr. Han,” I say.

  He looks down at it and smiles. “Thanks. It was my grandfather’s. He passed it down to me when I took over his position on the DB board of executives.” He rotates his wrist toward me. “See the red rubies circling the outside of the watch face?” I nod. “He had those put in special to represent our family legacy.… ‘There’s no other family like the Hans,’ he used to say. But I’ll tell you a secret.” He gestures to me, and I lean in closer. “I think he’s just a huge soccer fan.” He throws his head back laughing and I giggle along. I could get used to having an exec like Mr. Han around.

  “So how are you feeling about the dress rehearsal on Sunday?” he asks as we continue walking. He raises his eyebrows meaningfully. “All the trainees, trainers, and execs will be there to see the progress you three have been making. Are you ready?”

  I flash back to Jaehyun’s scowling face. “Not exactly,” I admit. At this rate, I honestly wonder if I’ll ever be ready. A terrified shiver runs through my body.

  “Keep practicing,” he says encouragingly. “You’ll get it.”

  I smile weakly. I really hope he’s right about that.

  * * *

  The next morning, I brace myself for dance practice with Mina. I’m not too keen to see Jaehyun again, but I’ll have to face him sooner or later if I ever want to nail these steps.

  I linger at the door before practice starts, not wanting to actually step inside, but when I peek my head in, it’s totally empty except for Mina, who’s doing stretches by the mirror. She turns around when she sees me, putting her hands on her hips.

  “It’s about time you got here,” she says. “Come on. Let’s start.”

  I drop my bag on the floor, frowning. “Where’s Jaehyun? And all the other trainers?”

  “Getting massages and soaking in the hydro tubs at the luxury jimjilbang down the block,” Mina says. When I raise my eyebrows, she waves a dismissive hand in the air. “I thought we could use some time to practice alone, so I had my dad send them a present for being ‘such great support to his little girl.’ They totally ate it up.”

  “But… why?” I don’t even try to hide the suspicion in my voice. I take one step back toward the door. “I don’t understand.”

  Mina sighs. “You’re really going to make this difficult, aren’t you? Listen. We both know you’re struggling with some of the dance moves. And I haven’t had the easiest time with certain parts of the song. So I had this idea.” She crosses the room so we’re standing face-to-face. I keep one hand on the doorknob in case she tries to pull something nasty, but when she speaks, her voice is earnest and even a little excited. “I was thinking, why don’t we switch up some of our parts? Like, you can sing the verse that I’m struggling with and I’ll dance the lead in the section you’re struggling with. Everybody wins.”

  “Um, yeah, everybody but the trainers and execs who’ll be pissed out of their minds when we go against their decision,” I say. “Come on, Mina, you really think I’m going to let you trap me in such an obvious trick? You drugged me. You tried to ruin my audition. And you sent a video of the whole thing to my mother?! We both know I can’t prove it, but you can’t tell me you think I’m naive enough to do this. For all I know, I’ll go along with it and then you’ll tell the execs that I drugged you and forced you to dance my part. So just… leave me alone.”

  She rolls her eyes to the ceiling, but I see her cheeks go a little pink. “Okay, I did all that. Fine. You’re right. I’m not going to apologize for it—”

  I blow out a breath. “Big shock.”

  “But I promise I’m not trying to trick you now. I know everyone might be mad at first, but they’ll see it’s for the best when they watch our rehearsal. We’ve been training so fucking hard. Why can’t we make one small change so that we can both play to our strengths?”

  She has a point.

  “Please.” Mina clasps her hands together. “Can we at least try this?”

  I hesitate. I notice for the first time how tired she looks. The usual gleam in her eyes has been replaced by dark, puffy eye bags and she keeps massaging her shoulders like they ache as much as I know mine do. She looks… like me. Determined but exhausted. I guess I’m not the only one on this wild training schedule. Everything I’ve been doing, she’s been doing too.

  “Okay,” I say slowly. “Fine. We can try it out—but just for this practice. Then we’ll see.”

  Mina lets out a deep breath, her shoulders relaxing. “Okay. Great. Come on, let’s start with the dance move you’re having trouble with. I’ve been watching you in practice and I think I know what the problem is.…”

  * * *

  There was a time when I loved Sundays—when Sundays meant sleeping in and watching cartoons with Leah all day. But this Sunday came too soon, and between the hours of homework I had to cram in and the extra hours of practice with Mina, I’m exhausted by the time the dress rehearsal starts that afternoon. Exhausted and also nervous—because the changes Mina and I made… they’re really good. At least, I think they’re good. The question is, will the execs love them, or will they murder us?

  I peek from the wings of the stage, into the auditorium where all the trainees, trainers, and execs are sitting, waiting for Jason, Mina, and me to perform. I spot Mr. Noh in his silvery pinstripe suit and shiny black loafers talking animatedly with a man sitting next to him. Mr. Choo. Even without having spent the last few weeks staring at her face for several hours a day, it’s easy to see how much Mina takes after her father. They both have the same wide forehead and sharp facial features.

  “You ready?” Mina appears beside me. Her dress is a shocking neon pink, cinched in the middle with a bedazzled silver corset. A black ribbon choker with diamonds spelling out “Summer” is around her neck. It’s almost identical to the one I’m wearing, which spells out “Heat.”

  I nod, clicking the heels of my white suede go-go boots, but my mouth has gone dry. There might not be any cameras here, but a room full of DB trainees and execs is almost as bad. Suddenly, I hear a high, cheerful voice shouting “Rachel!” behind me. I whirl around, and Akari is there, a huge grin on her face. She skips over to me. “It’s all happening! I’m so proud of you! This is just the beginning of everything you’ve been working for—”

  “Sorry to break up this little lovefest,” Mina interrupts, stepping in between us, “but Rachel has to go now.” She looks at Akari and gives a little sneer. “Some of us have futures as K-pop stars to worry about… not that you would know.” She glances at me, turning her back on Akari completely. “Jason is about to start the fireworks,” she says, and walks toward her entrance spot on stage right. Akari is still there, staring openmouthed at Mina’s retreating figure, her
eyes lighting up with anger. I feel like it’s been weeks since I’ve seen or even talked to Akari, and all I want to do is stay with her and talk shit about Mina, but I hear the opening notes of the song. “I have to go!” I say with an apologetic smile as I run toward my entrance spot. I cast a quick glance back and see Akari’s smile wilt just a bit as she makes her way into the audience.

  I shake it off, telling myself there’ll be plenty of time later to catch up with my friend, but suddenly the lights are dimmed and Akari is the furthest thing from my mind as I peer out onto the stage and spy Jason’s silhouette. The entire auditorium is silent, and I fight the nervous urge to chew on my lip. Can’t ruin my makeup now. Then, all at once, the spotlight turns on and the music begins.

  Jason spins around, launching into the first verse. He looks so cute in his fitted pinstripe suit and fedora that I have to close my eyes. The audience starts to clap in time to the music. Listening to his voice as it rides the upbeat melody of song, each note like it’s as natural as breathing, feels like coming alive. My nerves seem to melt away, replaced by electricity and anticipation that hums in my veins. I want to go out there and sing with him. Just a few seconds longer…

  Just before the second verse hits, the lights dim in the auditorium and Mina and I strut out, on cue. For a moment the audience is completely silent. I can feel their eyes on me. I can hear them thinking I don’t belong here, I don’t belong on this stage. And I freeze. But then the lights come blazing on and the crowd erupts—trainees cheering, a few stamping their feet and whistling, and I smile. I can do this. I catch Yujin’s eye, and she gives me a wink. I hope she’s still talking to me after this performance.…

  The verse begins, and I do a choreographed catwalk to Jason, feet slinking in time to the music as I walk across the stage singing my line.

  My new line, that is. To the trainers and execs, this was supposed to be Mina’s moment. I can almost feel them freeze in their seats, trying to process what’s happening onstage. I hear a few of them shuffle in their seats, whispering to each other.

  “What the hell is going on?”

  “Mr. Noh, did you approve this?”

  Mina joins in a few lines later, and we step into the move that’s been stressing me out for weeks. I glide to the back while she steps into center stage with Jason, and the two of them fly effortlessly through the sequence. Mina and I switch spots while the second verse continues, and I belt out the line that had originally been Mina’s, my voice blending with Jason’s in perfect harmony. Effortless again.

  We launch into the chorus, and the three of us smile at each other. We can feel the energy onstage radiating out into the auditorium like lightning. In the crowd somewhere I hear Akari cup her hands around her mouth and cheer. Even some of the trainers are having a good time, singing along and snapping to the beat. But in the front row I can see Mr. Noh’s face burning red as my lipstick.

  I gulp. We may be lightning, but I can feel a different kind of storm coming after the performance.

  As the song ends, the audience erupts into applause. Yujin shakes her head at me, but even she has an undeniable smile on her face. Mr. Noh simply rises and heads backstage, the execs quickly trailing after him. Mr. Choo follows, his expression unreadable.

  Jason, Mina, and I take a bow and run backstage. I scream, high on adrenaline, and Jason joins in, shouting and throwing an arm around both me and Mina.

  “You guys crushed it out there!” he says, squeezing tight. He smirks down at us. “And thanks for warning me about that little switch you two did.”

  “Sorry,” Mina says. “We didn’t want you to rat us out to the execs.” She rolls her eyes, but I can tell by her smile that she’s teasing him.

  I blush against the feeling of Jason’s arm around me and quickly pull away. “You were great too!” I say. “Both of you were so—”

  “Disgraceful. A complete disregard for authority.”

  Mr. Noh strides toward us, Mr. Choo and the execs marching in behind him, their faces all shrouded in darkness and anger. He looks like he’s ready to explode, but before he can say another word, Mr. Han swoops between us, spreading his arms out and gathering me and Mina up in big hugs.

  “Absolutely amazing performance! Incredible! We knew we made the right choice making a team out of you three. South Korea’s biggest rising stars, right here. Plus the indisputable Jason Lee, of course.” He shakes each of our hands with enthusiasm before turning to the other execs. “Their chemistry was killer, wasn’t it?”

  “It was… interesting,” Ms. Shim admits hesitantly, glancing at Mr. Noh.

  “What I saw was those two girls switching roles and going against instruction,” Mr. Lim says, arching an accusing eyebrow at us. “What is to be praised about that?”

  “Nothing, certainly, if they had flopped the performance as a result,” Mr. Han says. “But if anything, they made it even better. That’s what I call innovative! The next generation of K-pop!”

  Some of the other execs murmur in agreement, but most of them frown at Mr. Han’s words. I glance at Mr. Noh, holding in a deep breath. The redness has disappeared from his cheeks, but his eyes are still flinty and narrowed in anger. He glances from us to Mr. Han in silence, clearly torn between wanting to scream at us for disobeying him but also not being able to deny anything Mr. Han said.

  Finally, he looks right at me and Mina. “Keep practicing. I don’t want to see it again until it’s perfect,” he says, and turns sharply on his heel and walks away, the rest of the execs in tow.

  Mr. Han gives us a thumbs-up before following the rest of the execs out the door.

  I exhale. I can’t believe we pulled that off.

  “Ladies, always a pleasure,” Jason says, smiling at both of us. “Catch you two later? I just remembered there’s something I forgot to tell Mr. Noh.”

  He waves and jogs off. For a second I stare after him, the minty, mapley scent he leaves in his wake winding its way into my brain, but I snap out of it once I realize Mina’s talking to me. “Sorry, what did you say?”

  Mina shrugs. “Just that Jason’s a brave guy. I would not want to be around Mr. Noh right now.”

  “Oh, right,” I say, desperate to change the subject. “Anyway, we should go change. And maybe get some patbingsu in the cafeteria to celebrate?”

  “Uh, I’m not sure I can.”

  “Come on, we earned it. We must have burned like ten thousand calories on the stage just now.”

  “You go ahead,” Mina says, glancing at the curtains. “I’ll catch up.”

  I follow her gaze and see Mr. Choo still standing there, arms folded across his chest. I bow to him, feeling uneasy, and quickly make my way toward the changing rooms. Once I’m alone, I let out a little scream.

  That performance was everything.

  For the first time in a long while, I feel like I’m finally, finally on the right track.

  * * *

  My heart is still pumping with adrenaline as I unzip my black-and-white checkered skirt and scramble into my favorite green bomber jacket and black skinny jeans. I head back toward the auditorium, thinking about how I asked Mina to patbingsu. I laugh to myself. Two days ago, celebrating anything with Mina would have felt like a living nightmare. But hey, maybe this is the beginning of a new era.

  I sweep my hair up into a ponytail as I step backstage to look for her. She never came to the changing room, so maybe she’s still here. I hear a voice coming from the far side of the stage.

  “… absolutely shameful. How dare you disrespect the executives and trainers?”

  I freeze and duck behind a large speaker. A few meters away from me Mr. Choo is screaming at Mina, his face even redder than Mr. Noh’s had been.

  “How do you think that reflects on me? If you’re going to perform like that, don’t even think about coming home or showing your face around me ever again.”

  Mina hangs her head and says nothing. I’ve never seen this side of her before. Any minute, I think she’s going to
snap back or look up with that devilish spark in her eye, but she doesn’t. She just stands there and takes it, her shoulders hunched in shame.

  “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such a disgrace of a daughter,” Mr. Choo says. “If you disappoint me like this again, there are no second chances. You will be no daughter of mine. Understood?”

  “Yes, Appa,” Mina says quietly.

  Mr. Choo shakes his head in disgust and storms out of the room, leaving Mina behind him. She stands rooted to the spot, trembling all over.

  “Mina,” I say tentatively, stepping out of my hiding place. She immediately tenses and whips around, her eyes narrowing into slits. “Hey. Are you okay?”

  “Whatever you heard, don’t think this makes you better than me,” Mina says, fury snapping in her voice. Her eyes are filled with angry tears. “I don’t need your pity.”

  “I don’t think that. I just want to make sure you’re all r—”

  “It’s none of your business!” She wipes at her eyes and pushes past me, heading for the changing room. Then she stops and turns around, a deep scowl on her face. “And by the way, we’re not friends. So stop acting like we are. Just because we sing one song together doesn’t mean I give a shit about you. Or that I want to go eat some fucking patbingsu with you in the cafeteria. This isn’t a Disney movie, Princess Rachel. Grow up.”

  She spits out the last words and walks off the stage, as I watch the start of our new era fade away before it could even begin.

  Twelve

  “Everybody hold on to your loved ones! It’s about to get wild!”

  I nearly fly out of the Jeep as we go hurtling along the dirt roads through the Jeju mountains. The rough, rolling terrain is almost as up and down as my life has been lately.

  After the mob at the NEXT BOYZ fan signing and the dress rehearsal on Sunday, I could barely bring myself to even think about training. By some miracle of late-night studying, though, I qualified for the botany field trip, along with Juhyun and Hyeri. So instead, I’ve been whisked away to the beautiful island of Jeju to marvel at the wonders of nature.…