by Harlow James
I take a seat on the couch beside her as everyone else moves around the room, most of them taking residence in the kitchen where a counter full of food caught my eye as I stepped into the house.
“These are for you.” I hand her the bouquet of tulips and then pull the bottle of wine from my purse as Brooks sits down beside me. “I brought wine too, but I wasn’t sure if you’d want to sample that while going through chemo. I know some patients can have a little, but if you don’t want any, I won’t take offense.”
Vivian smiles and reaches for the flowers, inhaling their floral scent. “These are lovely. Thank you. And I love purple.”
“Me too.”
“Mom, I’d like you to meet Jess officially. Jess, this is my mother, Vivian Bennet.”
We shake hands for the formality of it, but that just makes us both chuckle at his expense.
She throws her head in Brooks’ direction. “It’s as if my son doesn’t think I know how to introduce myself to someone.”
“Ah, come on, Mom. I was just trying to be polite. If you want the real introduction, Jess, I’ll tell you all about what an embarrassing mother she was while I was growing up.” He counters as she scoffs.
“Brooks Bennet! You’d better be joking, or I’ll show you embarrassing right now. Jess, wanna hear about the time I walked in on him jacking off?”
“O-kay!” Brooks exclaims as he changes his tune rather quickly. “I take it back, Mom. I take it back!”
“That’s what I thought. Now, do me a favor and pour me just a sip of this wine so I can have some with dinner.” She hands him the bottle as he moves to stand.
“You got it, Mom.” Brooks traverses the couch, but not before planting a kiss on the side of my head, and then giving his mom one as well. “Be nice to her, Mom. I kind of like her,” he teases before winding up in the kitchen in two seconds flat, leaving me alone with a woman who reminds me so much of my own mother, it stings.
Her face and skin are dry, her head bald under her wrap, her eyes lacking color—all the same side effects I remember seeing in my mother before she passed. She didn’t do chemo for very long before we realized that the cancer was spreading too fast. From there on it was more about making her comfortable and helping her die with dignity.
“So, Jess. My son speaks very highly of you. You’re a nurse at the hospital, right?”
“Yes,” I say and then clear my throat of the emotion building inside. “In the ER. I work with Brooks quite often, actually.”
“I hope he doesn’t prevent you from doing your job. My boy can be quite the flirt.”
I smile just as Brooks calls from the kitchen, “I heard that!”
“I don’t care! It’s the truth!” She shouts back as we both share a friendly laugh.
“Oh, he’s a professional at work, that’s for sure.” I won’t share the make out sessions we’ve had in the on-call rooms or the subtle brushes of our hands as we pass each other. Those instances won’t help his case, it seems. But Brooks is definitely focused under pressure and has an instinct only brilliant doctors do. “He’s a remarkable doctor too. You should be proud.”
“I am. That boy is my pride and joy. It’s been just him and I since he was five. I love him with every fragment of my soul. He’s my everything. And he seems to be quite enamored with you. It’s been amazing to witness.”
I can feel heat travel up my cheeks, making me blush. “Thank you. If it’s any consolation, I’m pretty enamored with him too. He makes me very happy.”
“He’d better.” Her eyes search mine and then land on my hand that’s been picking at the hem of my shirt. It’s a nervous tick I exhibit sometimes, but it’s been so long since I’ve caught myself doing it, I didn’t even stop to think I might do it tonight.
“Would you like to go outside? I have a swing we can sit on and get some privacy from all the ruckus in here.”
A contemplative smile graces my lips. “Sure.”
I help her up and then we sneak out front, taking refuge under the patio, swinging in the gorgeous summer night air.
“There’s no need to be nervous around me, Jess. I know we’ve barley spoken, but I know when a person is honest and pure. And you are, my darling, especially after what my son has told me about you. You’ve offered him so much comfort since he moved home. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you.”
I can’t help it, the tears begin to build. My eyes gloss over as I stare at the woman across from me, feeling her agony of potentially leaving her son behind. I hope and pray with my entire heart in this moment that Brooks never has to feel that loss because it’s a pain unlike any other. And even though Vivian thinks Brooks is the one benefiting from our relationship, the real person who’s life has been changed is me.
“In the brief time I’ve known Brooks, he’s changed my life. I didn’t want to let him in initially, which I’m sure he’s probably told you.” Her head bobs up and down as she fights back her own tears. “But I am so glad I did. He’s helped me feel brave and confident, cherished, and whole. I care about him very much.”
Her hand finds mine, the cold skin of her palm resting atop of my knuckles. “I know he cares about you too. Thank you for being here tonight, for letting me see that there’s someone that can love him the way I do.”
I glance down at her hand as she flips it over when she pulls it away, revealing a butterfly tattoo on her wrist. “Brooks told me that you like butterflies.” I state, completely changing the subject, but being caught off-guard by the similarity in our tattoos.
“Oh, yes. I’ve always loved them. I got this on my thirtieth birthday, actually. I’d realized I didn’t want to live my life without having at least one. I kept putting it off until I realized that one day I might wake up and die, and then I would have been disappointed that I never followed through with it.” She shrugs as she looks back down at her wrist. “I know it sounds silly. I mean, it’s just a tattoo, right? But I think there’s something to be said for living in the moment and not wanting to live with regrets.”
As her fingers trace the image, I smile wistfully, thinking back to how many times now that Brooks has pushed me to face my fears and live. This incredible man was obviously raised by a very wise woman. And I could not be more grateful.
“I’m learning that myself. Your son has helped me with that, believe it or not.”
“Oh, I believe it. That boy is all about taking life by the horns, always has been. Watching him has given me the courage to take risks and live a little. I just wish I had more time to see everything else he’s going to do with his life.”
“I actually have a very similar tattoo, one I got in memory of my mother.”
Vivian’s excitement registers on her face, her smile spreading wide as she clasps her hands together. “Oh, let me see!” I lift up my shirt to expose the ink right under my left breast.
“That’s beautiful. I love the colors.”
“Thank you. I—I don’t know if he told you, but… my mom died from breast cancer.” I can feel my entire body shaking as I divulge a piece of my past I never reveal to anyone, least of all the mother of the man that I love who’s battling the same disease.
Her lips fold in on themselves as her head bobs up and down. “Yes, he told me. How—how old was she?”
“Forty-six.”
“What was her diagnosis?”
“Stage two. But by the time she started chemotherapy, the cancer was spreading too fast. She—she died four months later.”
“I’m so sorry for your loss, Jess. God, it must be hard for you sitting across from me now, isn’t it?”
The corner of my mouth tips up as moisture stings my eyes. “I’m not going to lie, it’s stirring a lot of things up for me. You two have a lot in common and you remind me so much of her. But I wanted to be here for Brooks, and for you. I am one of the few people in this world who understands exactly what he’s going through, and I hope like hell that you can beat this—that he doesn’t experience the
same pain I’ve felt from losing my mom.” I reach for her this time, clasping my palm over hers. “Don’t give up yet, Vivian. You are a fighter, I can sense that in just this brief conversation. Let me know whatever I can do to help, okay?” I want her to know that Brooks needs her, the same way I needed my mother. I don’t think anyone ever stops needing their mother.
Her plea comes out soft and gritty against the tears that spill over. “Just love my son enough for the both of us, okay?”
I nod, my own tears forming now. I brush one away and then answer her. “I promise.”
After Vivian changes the subject to tell me a few stories about a young Brooks and what a daredevil he was, a call from the front door alerts us to dinner being ready.
“The food has been good to go this entire time, but I wanted to give you more time to talk. Are you okay?” Brooks has me cornered in the hallway as everyone fills their plates in the kitchen.
“Yes, I’m good. I really love your mom. She’s charming, just like you.”
Brooks grins down at me and then rests his forehead on mine. “I am who I am because of her.”
“I can see that.”
“Are you,” he pauses, taking a deep breath. “Are you okay with being around her right now? I’m not going to lie, I’ve been nervous about how seeing her might bring back some emotions for you.”
“I’m okay. It definitely reminds me a lot of what I saw in my mom, and just her personality in general. I feel like they would have gotten along very well. But your mother seems strong, Brooks. She’s a fighter.”
“She is.”
“I love standing here talking to you and smelling the Bubble Yum on your breath, but my stomach is about to eat itself. Let’s go eat, shall we?”
His chest shakes as a soft laugh rolls through him, and then he steps back. “I don’t know what I was thinking choosing this bubble gum flavor. I think it was the nerves influencing my decision. And I definitely regret it.”
“Then why are you still chewing it?”
He looks over my head, staring off into space. “I have no idea.”
Once our plates are full and everyone takes a seat at the table, the teasing begins. And if I’m being honest, I’m all for it. I love watching Brooks interact with his family. It gives me yet another glimpse of the remarkable man he is, and it’s lightening the stack of boulders that were sitting on my chest earlier.
“Don’t be jealous that you didn’t beat my time,” Brooks says to Ethan as the conversation yielded to the two of them growing up and fighting just like brothers.
“How was I supposed to? You have Gumby legs and a full six inches on me!” Ethan refutes and then takes a bite of his taco.
“It’s not my fault you didn’t eat your vegetables.”
“It’s not my fault that your ego doesn’t fit through the door.”
“Um, if I recall, your ego is pretty large yourself, Ethan,” I chime in as everyone’s heads turn to me.
“Oh, this outta be good,” Brooks gleams as he waits for me to continue.
Ethan eyes me suspiciously. “What are you talking about?”
“Do you not recall what you said to me when we met for the first time in the ER?” I take a bite of my rice and wait for him to finish squirming. Oh, I am loving this far too much.
He plays dumb, but he and I both know what he said to me that day. “Can’t say that I do.”
“Oh, really? Well, then let me enlighten everyone.” I wipe my mouth with my napkin and clear my throat, loving how I can already return the favor of his creepy smile idea when I entered the house. “The first time I met Ethan, he was hitting on me while I was doing chest compressions on a patient.”
Everyone’s eyes widen as Ethan glares in my direction.
“Ethan! You did not!” His mother exclaims.
“It’s not what it sounds like…”
“It’s exactly what it sounds like. I believe his words were, ‘Hey, there. Excuse me? I think you dropped something… my jaw.”
The entire table breaks out in laughter, Vivian going so far as to spit some of her wine across the table. “Oh, my god!”
Ethan just shrugs, even though his face is turning a beautiful shade of pink. “What can I say? She impressed me. But then I distinctly remember her threatening to chop my balls off with a scalpel, so I suggested we just remain friends.”
Brooks is studying his cousin intently across the table. “I’m not quite sure I like this story anymore.”
“Oh, stop it, Brooks. Everything worked out the way it was supposed to,” his mom says while nudging him playfully.
“If it’s any consolation, baby, I would have fallen for that pickup line.” Mariah bats her eyelashes at Ethan and suddenly the two of them are fixated on each other.
“Yeah, well, it appears I actually fell for a man that judges my affliction for orange-flavored Tic Tacs instead.”
Brooks chuckles beside me and then pulls me into his side. “Damn right. You love it when I tease you.”
I glance up at him and flash him a fulfilled smile, basking in how well this evening actually went. “I really do.”
Two Hours Later
“Dammit, Brooks! Stop teasing me!”
This is the third time now that Brooks has worked me within seconds of my orgasm and then backed off. I’m wet, breathless, and more than ready for that release, but he’s edging me within an inch of my sanity.
“I thought you liked it when I tease you?” He grins while dragging his cock slowly in and out of me, his powerful body hovered over mine as my nails claw into his back for leverage. I hate him right now—and yet, I love him so much at the same time that I will gladly take the pain and pleasure he’s offering me now, and any other time after this.
It hit me while we were sitting at dinner, the conversation so natural and light-hearted.
It didn’t feel like there was a cancerous cloud hanging over us.
It didn’t feel forced or strained, even after I spilled the fact that Ethan hit on me first.
It felt right. Plain and simple—like this is how my life is supposed to be—with this gorgeous, viral man beside me, and now, making love to me as well.
I am in love with Brooks Bennet, and now I just need to figure out how to tell him.
“I just don’t want it to end, Jess,” he whispers in my ear as his strokes keep the same pace—drawn out, luxurious, smooth, and so incredibly amazing that I’m struggling to breathe.
“Me neither, Brooks,” I admit, looking up into his eyes as his hand reaches down between us and grazes my clit again, the soft touch of his fingers bringing me back to the precipice quickly.
“Come with me, Jess. Let me feel you come all over my cock, sweetheart.”
I nod, keeping my eyes locked on him as he leans back, holds my legs out wide, and sets a punishing rhythm all while stroking my clit with his thumb, and it takes only seconds before my body is unraveling.
“Yes! I’m coming!” I scream, my orgasm hitting me so fast and hard that all I can do is cry out in agonizing pleasure and ride the waves, the intensity matching the passion I feel for this man outside of the bedroom.
Brooks cries out seconds after, stilling within me as he finds his release and then collapses on to my chest, pressing his lips to mine in a sweet and subtle kiss.
I could kiss this man all day, every day. There’s not one moment when I don’t wish that his lips were on mine. But when he kisses me like this, I can feel the words behind them, even though they haven’t been spoken.
He’s mine. I’ve found him. And he loves me.
Chapter 23
Jess
“Hey, baby.” The strong hands that wrap around my waist from behind blanket me in a comfort that only Brooks can provide. When he’s touching me, I feel like nothing can hurt me.
“Hey, you. You’re getting pretty bold with your public displays of affection,” I say as I turn around and face him, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing up on my toes to give me
a few more inches of height. Those inches don’t matter much when we’re lying horizontally, but when we kiss, I’m not going to lie—my neck strains a little bit.
The past month of our relationship has been nothing but stolen kisses at work, meals shared in between shifts, and as much crazy sex as we can muster before we pass out from exhaustion. I’m so freaking happy, I don’t even recognize myself some days. Piper says I’m dick-struck, which I’m not lying, could be a possibility.
But ultimately, I think I’m just so confident in what we have that the threat of something derailing it hasn’t even crossed my mind. Usually by this point in a relationship, I’m anticipating the downfall, wondering when the proverbial shoe is going to drop. It’s usually a few months in when things start to unravel.
But with Brooks, I don’t feel that way. I just feel loved and adored, even though we’ve yet to say those words to each other.
“I’m pretty sure everyone knows we’re dating by now.” His eyes veer around the hospital and then land back on me.
“Yeah, it was only a matter of time.” That and Alice and Piper have trouble hiding their excitement when we’re around each other. Each time I exchange in girl talk, their squeals can be heard down the halls.
“I got you something,” I say as I release my hold on him and reach into my pocket, extracting the package of cinnamon gum.
Brooks’ grin stretches far and wide in one direction. “You’re giving me cinnamon gum? Are you feeling okay?”
I swat his chest. “Yes, I’m fine. I just know you’ll be with your mom during her treatment today, so I thought I’d give you this little bit of comfort. I’m sorry I have to work and can’t be there for you tonight, but I figured this little treat was the least I could do to help keep you happy.”
Brooks’ hand reaches up to caress my cheek. “You make me happy every day, baby. But thank you. This is really sweet.”
“I mean, we’ve tried virtually every flavor of gum or breath mint at this point, and I hate to say it, but I think we can both agree to go back to what we wholeheartedly enjoy.”
He throws his head back in exasperation. “Thank fuck. I was really beginning to think about giving up gum chewing completely.”
