The Fire Within Series: Books 1 - 3

by Ella M. Lee

  “Get home now,” I said as I pulled the door shut. Sylvio nodded, spinning toward the R8.

  I called up the secure chat channel once again as Ryan started the car and followed Sylvio down the road.

  Fiona: Headed back now. Syl, Cam, Ryan, Nicolas, me. ETA 20 minutes. Teng, Athena, meet us at Nicolas’s.

  Daniel: Same for Irina and me.

  I wouldn’t feel safe until we were in the clan house, and honestly, even then I would feel wary.

  “Can we do anything to help you?” I asked Nicolas, who was pale and shaking beside me.

  “No,” he said. “I simply need to rest.”

  I took his hand in mine. “Relax. We’ll be home soon.”

  He leaned on me, collapsing against me. I held him, forcing myself to breathe evenly, to not freak out. Things were bad, but not the worst they could be.

  Home, Nicolas whispered in my mind.

  Home isn’t home without you, I thought to him.

  He smiled, his eyes closing heavily.

  Chapter 23

  Nicolas hadn’t spoken.

  We were all together again, spread around his large apartment. Teng and Sylvio sat at the huge dining room table, focused on their laptops, conferring quietly. Cameron held Irina in one of the large chairs. She was fine, though she was muted and spent. Ryan paced, the magic box filled with poison in his hand.

  Athena made tea in the kitchen, handing it out to us with encouraging smiles. I leaned against the apartment door, shivering into my hoodie, pressed against Daniel’s shield on the door. His magic always welcomed me, and right now it was a much-needed comfort.

  Daniel himself sat on the couch. Nicolas had washed most of the blood off in a daze and collapsed heavily with his head in Dan’s lap. Dan had snapped a silencing spell in place and explained in detail what had happened during the rescue.

  Nicolas was stretched out on his back, gripping Dan’s wrist in his hand, his eyes closed. I knew they were having some private conversation. I watched them, and my mind flashed back to a week ago. Their positions had been reversed then: Daniel smashed into pieces, Nicolas holding him.

  So much had happened in a week. Daniel. Nicolas’s past. Nicolas’s kidnapping. Mark. When I had finished recalling my abject horror at this entire situation, my mind fell on my brother’s face.

  Alive.

  How?

  It was obvious when I thought about it. Simple when magic was involved, especially Meteor’s magic, so adept at manipulating emotions and creating glamours. He had faked his death, joined Meteor, and risen to the rank of commander in the past eight years.

  When had this all started? Had he killed our father in order to do all that? What else was he responsible for?

  Why had he done things that way? Why not just leave? Why hadn’t he tried to contact me in all these years? Why was he involved in capturing Nicolas and nearly killing him?

  Why had he spoken to me earlier as though he wasn’t surprised to see me standing before him?

  My gaze was still on Dan and Nicolas. Nicolas’s eyes were open now. Dan looked serious but not worried. I wished I knew what they were talking about.

  Nicolas is alive. He’s okay.

  I was trying very hard not to review the entire operation in my head. My heart was still racing, and I felt very close to crumbling on the floor and never getting up again.

  “Fiona.” Nicolas’s voice rang out among the quiet conversation of the room.

  I jumped, surprised. I went to him, kneeling by the couch. I was so relieved to be close to him that I couldn’t help resting my head on his chest, feeling his warmth. My breathing was rapid as his arm wrapped around me.

  I took his hand, twining our fingers together.

  How did you do it? he asked.

  I don’t know. I just wanted it so much. I poured all of my hope into you. My whispered words were astonished.

  Hope, he echoed, and his tone seemed warm and pleased.

  I was trembling badly. Daniel’s delicate hand came down to touch my hair.

  “Don’t fall apart, Fi,” he said gently. “We’re all okay.”

  Listen to your commander, Nicolas said silently, amused.

  Are you really okay? I asked. I didn’t mess this whole thing up?

  You were amazing, Nicolas replied. I’ll be fine. I need a little time to fix my sanctum, and I need sleep because of the healing. I’m exhausted, completely wiped out. This has never happened to me before, but I’m eternally grateful for you, lamb.

  Tears flooded my eyes. I counted Nicolas’s breaths in my head, trying to calm down. I was incredibly relieved. I had been completely out of my depth, yet I had gotten us through it. Somehow, I had managed to bring Nicolas out. How was I so absurdly lucky?

  Not luck, Nicolas offered. Talent. Only you could have done that—entered my sanctum, used your magic like that, woken me up.

  There was no way in hell I was leaving you without a fight.

  His hand tightened on mine. I don’t deserve you, he whispered.

  What you do or don’t deserve is irrelevant, I said. I want you, it’s that simple.

  I tilted my head for a moment so that I could see his gorgeous golden eyes. They were completely astonished.

  Mon Dieu, I love you, he said. My beautiful, brave Fiona. To love me, to come to get me. Incroyable. You are perfect.

  You brought us back out, I said, half a question.

  Of course. It’s my own place. I can enter and leave at will. His tone was somewhat amused.

  I was relieved that he at least sounded like his usual self, but he was tense and shaking, and I was still worried about him, Nicolas was, by default, calm and stoic. If he was displaying any signs of instability, it meant he was gravely undone.

  Will you bring me water? he asked.

  While I collected a bottle of water from the fridge, Irina went to Nicolas and Daniel. She touched Nicolas’s hand, and they had a short private conversation. Irina gave several sharp nods. Nicolas’s eyes were on hers. I had no idea what was going on between the two of them, or what they could possibly be discussing.

  She helped Nicolas sit up slightly in order to drink the bottle of water I handed to her. I sat down heavily in a nearby chair, worried I would collapse now that I was coming down from the stress of the night.

  “Listen up,” Dan said to the room. “Meeting tomorrow, everyone, both groups. I’ll send the time out later. Try to get your reports to Teng tonight or in the morning. No one leaves the clan house without an excellent reason and reasonable safety precautions until we have more information. We have to assume the worst: that this was a targeted attack based on our prior connections to Meteor and Derek. Be cautious, even here. Sylvio, get Chandra and Keisha back home. I’ll get in contact with Farhad.”

  He paused, and his eyes went to each of us in turn. We all watched him in various states of tiredness and dishevelment. There were no objections. Nicolas added nothing, content to let Dan control this situation.

  “Good job tonight, everyone. Thanks,” he said.

  The tiniest smile quirked the corners of his lips. Daniel loved successes. He reveled in them. Tonight had obviously affected him, but now that we were safe, he was allowing himself to be proud of us.

  They all left one by one. Irina clasped one of Nicolas’s hands in both of hers very briefly. Sylvio saluted him with a smile. Athena brushed his hair with her palm, and then touched Dan’s cheek. Teng removed one of his black gloves and gripped Nicolas’s hand. My eyes hung once again on the angry red welts on his arm while they spoke briefly. Cameron drew Teng away with a nod toward Nicolas and Dan.

  Ryan approached the couch, his eyes on Dan’s, the magical box in his hand.

  “I’m putting this in our stasis locker. We need to talk later—all of us in this room,” he said, sparing a glance for me.

  Dan nodded once solemnly. “Thanks, Ryan.”

  Ryan gripped Nicolas’s hand. He then studied Dan in particular, and it seemed like they could commun
icate silently in the same way Daniel and I could. He put a fatherly hand on top of Dan’s head. Dan relaxed, comforted by the gesture, and his expression and posture made him look younger.

  After, Ryan came over to me. He wrapped an arm around me lightly and leaned in. “You were amazing, Fiona.”

  I glanced at him, my cheeks heating up. I shook my head. I didn’t feel amazing. I felt like I was about to melt into a puddle, never able to reform myself again. Ryan left, shutting the door softly behind him.

  It was just me and Daniel and Nicolas now. Nicolas hadn’t moved. His eyes were half closed. Dan looked like he was trying very hard to keep breathing evenly. Or to keep breathing entirely. I recalled his anguished face from earlier, when Nicolas had stopped breathing, and my heart broke all over again.

  “Fiona,” Nicolas said. “Come here.”

  I lay myself down next to him, my head also resting in Daniel’s lap, his sharp knees against my neck. There was nothing I wanted more than to be near Nicolas. One of his hands found mine. The other was still in Daniel’s hand.

  Tell me what happened. How did you find me? he asked.

  Your watch. I jumped, hearing Daniel’s voice in my head. I hadn’t known Nicolas could do that, become a bridge for communication.

  Mon Dieu, I can’t believe that worked, Nicolas said, the words a light sigh in my head. Daniel, your memory is incredible.

  I listened quietly as Daniel told the story. I took over when it got to the part where I climbed the balcony to reach Nicolas, explaining how I got in and found him.

  You saved me, I told him, recalling my paralysis at seeing Mark.

  I barely remember that, he whispered.

  Then Daniel threw him through a wall, I said. Dan’s smile was catlike.

  Sorry, Daniel said. I was one hundred percent focused on protecting you. He was going to kill you. I didn’t know he was your brother, but then we landed on the ground, and I got a look at him up close. You two have the same eyes. I was beyond surprised.

  Whoever that is, I don’t think he’s my brother anymore, I said, closing my eyes. The brother I knew could never have become a commander in Meteor. Never. Was it Mark who caught you, Nicolas?

  Yes, Nicolas said. T-boned the car. I almost died from the impact. I got a shield up in time, but I was disoriented. I was ripped from the car, and there were shackles on me before I could even react. I fought, but they stabbed me and knocked me out.

  I don’t remember much after that, he said. Glimpses. Their commander, Mark, standing over me. A woman with bright-red hair, injecting me with something. Meteor magic surrounding me. The woman returned several times. At one point, she dosed me with adrenaline. That magic in me—I knew it was poison.

  Yeah. We know, too. We have it with us. I trapped it, and Ryan is shoving it in stasis, Daniel said. It’ll be all yours to look at, Dr. Demarais.

  I heard Nicolas’s weak laughter in my head.

  I remember a little more from after you arrived, Fiona, he said. I was so afraid that you had come alone. That’s what moved me to protect you like that, but then I heard Daniel’s voice, and I couldn’t stay conscious. I was dying. That was very clear to me. In that moment, I was glad Dan was there to take care of you. It made it easier to let go.

  I shuddered, feeling cold despite being pressed into Nicolas and Daniel. Dan brought his hand down on my hair, brushing it back gently, his fingers trailing down my shoulder and arm. I knew that he was concerned about my state. I took a deep breath and tried to force myself to relax with both of them so near.

  How did I survive? Nicolas asked finally.

  There were Water-limiting wards in that house, Daniel said. I shattered some of them when I entered so that I could fight, and I shattered the rest after, allowing Irina to work at full strength. I can’t believe I managed that so quickly. Irina was brilliant, Nico. Magnificent. Thankfully she was here to help and not in Japan still. Your magic was agitating the poison, making it too hard to draw out while you were alive. I think that’s how it was designed. Ryan pulled out your sanctum so that Irina could find all the poison, then she pulled it out strand by strand.

  When she was done, Ryan slammed your sanctum back into you, anchoring it. I didn’t even know that was possible. I thought it would kill you for real. Irina got your body working again. Heart beating. Lungs breathing. But you weren’t there anymore. None of us knew what to do.

  Daniel stalled, upset and not sure of what to say.

  I tried invoking blood magic to call you back, I said, picking it up. It didn’t work in the real world. Ryan thought it might work inside your sanctum. He carved a path for me into it, then I found you.

  I remember, Nicolas said.

  He didn’t elaborate. Daniel didn’t ask. It seemed like this was one thing neither of them cared to share with each other.

  I was shaking badly, freezing cold, tears streaming down my cheeks. Nicolas shifted, settling his arms around me, crushing me to him. Daniel leaned in to embrace us both.

  This has to be Derek’s doing, right? I asked. Another assassination attempt?

  At this point, it seems like it, Nicolas offered. Some of the details don’t make sense, though. Why has he been making his way through Asia? How did he know where I was and what I was doing today? Why use a group in Meteor? And why such a slow method of execution? Poison was a colossal mistake. They could have slit my throat when they pulled me from the car, and I would have been very dead.

  He fell silent for a moment, and I was about to speak, to add my own questions about Mark’s presence and the craziness of that coincidence, when Nicolas spoke again.

  There’s another thing, too, he said. Meteor’s magic can’t create a poison so elegant and sophisticated. I need to take a closer look at it, but… I think it came from Smoke.

  I felt my eyes widen. Smoke? I echoed. Why would they be involved?

  Nicolas shook his head against me. I don’t know. It’s possible it was purchased from them. There are groups within the clan that would make such a transaction. Or there may be a connection here we haven’t pinpointed yet. If it’s Smoke, I can likely pull identification off it. Smoke magicians usually tag their work.

  Dan was frowning thoughtfully. We’ll figure it out. For now, we all need sleep. You need to repair your sanctum, and Fi needs to calm down.

  Daniel knew me well enough to know that I was falling apart. Nicolas likely understood that too. He ran a hand down my back.

  I love you, Nicolas whispered, his voice the gentlest touch in my mind. Are we going to be all right?

  I could have said a million things. I could have put qualifications and conditions on my words. I could have left this conversation for another time, when the two of us weren’t lying shattered in pieces before one another.

  But there was only one answer I wanted to give.

  Yes, I said. I need you. Hold me. Hold me forever.

  I’ve got you, Nicolas replied. Everything is all right, lamb.

  Sometime later, I felt both of them shift. I was half asleep. Daniel gently moved me off his legs and stood. I cracked my eyelids open, but they fell back down almost instantly. Nicolas’s presence withdrew from around me too. I whimpered, and his hand brushed my cheek.

  Everything is fine. Sleep, lamb, he said in my mind.

  When I awoke again, I was in Daniel’s arms. He carried me into the bedroom. Nicolas was there, curled on the bed. He had showered. All the rest of the blood was gone now, though his bare chest showed me just how pale he was. He seemed to be asleep or close to it. Daniel laid me next to him.

  I caught Dan’s arm as he withdrew. “Don’t leave,” I said.

  My poor commander. I knew he was in pain despite everything turning out okay. I knew watching Nicolas die had ripped a hole in him, had unsettled and upset him deeply. Underneath the magic and the dark eyes, Daniel was one of the sweetest people I had ever known. Nicolas trusted Dan to take care of me, but someone needed to take care of Dan too.

  “Come her
e,” I said, tugging his hand.

  He laid down next to me on the bed, and I gathered him into my arms. He pressed his face against me. His hair tickled my nose. His breathing was shaky.

  “How are you, Dan?” I whispered. “Really?”

  “Tense. Scared. Happy. Relieved. Confused. Wary. Nervous. Broken. I don’t know. How many adjectives do you think I can list before I pass out from exhaustion?” he asked. His tone was light, but the words weren’t.

  “Commander Darling, stay with us. Sleep.”

  “Yeah, Fi,” Dan said, and sighed into me, relaxing slightly.

  Nicolas’s hand slid down my back and wrapped around my waist. I covered his hand with one of mine, the other still cradling Daniel. The weight of both their magics against mine was comforting.

  You’re always so gentle with him, Nicolas said in my mind, his tone appreciative.

  I learned it from you, I said. You’re amazing.

  And so are you, he replied. He placed a light kiss on the side of my neck. I love you both so much.

  All those times, at the beginning… I thought, and then hesitated. All those times you told me you weren’t a monster… were you saying that to convince me, or are you still trying to convince yourself?

  Sometimes I don’t know what I am, he confessed. But I never stop trying to be better. Especially around such good people, especially in the face of disasters like this one.

  The morning will look less harrowing to us all, I whispered.

  My eyes closed. I took a deep breath. I had thought my life was done being turned upside down. I thought that after my mother died. After my father and brother died—or so I had believed. After I was clanned to Flame. After Nicolas offered me my life back. After I fought Derek with him. After I was clanned to Water. After I nearly drowned. After Daniel pressed me into the training room wall and I had made such a dumb mistake with him. After I became unsettled by Nicolas’s bloody past.

  But here was something new, yet again. We needed to find Derek. We needed to find Derek now, before he did more harm, and learn who might be working with him or pulling his strings. We needed to figure out why my brother was wrapped up in this mess, and I had more than one question for Mark, if I could manage to hunt him down.