The Husband Checklist

by Miller, Jasmin

  I copy his actions. “You bet. Let’s ride those waves.”

  We surf for about an hour before heading back to the truck. Usually, surfing helps clear my mind.

  Our conversation plays on a loop as I head back to the hotel to get ready. As I thought, Ollie and I are sorted, and it’s time to get on with my next plan.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Julia

  The restaurant is almost bursting at the seams when I get there. When did Tuesday lunch hour become this popular? Carter texted me about ten minutes ago that he got here early and grabbed us a table.

  The hostess skillfully walks me through the array of tables inside and out back. Before she even turns into his direction, I see my lunch date sitting at a corner table.

  I point toward him. “I see him, thank you.”

  She nods and leaves, but not before sending an appreciate gaze in Carter’s direction, making my stomach churn.

  No, Julia. Don’t do this again.

  I’ve been having more self-talks in the last fourteen hours or so than I care to admit, unable to forget that mysterious text message Carter got from an unknown number, right before he lied about his plans for today.

  I want to give him the benefit of a doubt, but my thoughts have been circulating around the situation over and over again. Waking up by myself this morning, instead of Carter’s arms, only worsened my mood.

  Being this irrational isn’t like me, and it drives me bonkers that I can’t get a grip.

  At this point, I’m unable to focus on much else, my mind racing to find an answer it’s happy with.

  More than once, I considered cancelling our lunch date, but I couldn’t bring myself to go through with it. Maybe I can work up the courage to ask him straight out, even though the sheer possibilities of outcomes are enough to make me slightly hysterical.

  Being exhausted after last night isn’t helping, so maybe I’ll take a nap when I get home.

  When I reach the table, Carter’s thankfully preoccupied with his phone and doesn’t see me, giving me another moment to pull myself together.

  Dressed in black suit pants and a gray button-down, he looks immaculate like always. The matching suit jacket hangs on the back of his chair, and I wonder for about the millionth time how guys manage to wear full suits in the summer. I’d melt in about two minutes.

  His hair looks more disheveled than it usually does, and I wonder if he’s been running his hands through it a lot this morning, or maybe someone el—

  No, no, no. Not going there.

  And I know in my heart of hearts that I have no reason to doubt Carter. He’s always been a man of his word, and even if he’s a flirt, I doubt he’d cheat.

  I know this irrational thought stems more from learning that Nate had been testing the waters with another woman before we broke up. I only found out the other day when he sent me a random text to let me know he was dating again. He didn’t want me to find out from someone else, which at the time I thought was kind. Thoughtful even. Honestly, I hadn’t cared. He even admitted that he’d seen her for a while before we broke up. And again, it hadn’t bothered me. I was so not in love with Nate.

  But after the unnamed text and then Carter’s lie, I began to recall similar behavior in Nate. He had started carrying his phone everywhere with him, and I’d often found him smiling at a text, refusing to say why. He’d come home later than usual on occasion, but I’d never suspected a thing. Now, I know just how naïve I was.

  But this is Carter. This is the man who pleaded for me to give us a chance, and logic, gosh, my heart is telling me to stop seeing things where there aren’t things to see, but I’m struggling.

  He finally looks up, the scowl on his face turning into the smile I love so much when he notices me. “Oh, hey.”

  “Hi.” I wave at him awkwardly, trying my absolute hardest to push these crazy thoughts away.

  Carter gets out of his chair and pulls me into a hug. “It’s so good to see you.”

  “Bad day?” My question comes out muffled since I’m pressed into his shoulder, enjoying the moment of closeness despite errant thoughts.

  “You can say that.” He pushes me back to look at me. “But it’s much better now.”

  Leaning down, he brushes my lips gently with his, and I’m immediately lost in him.

  I’m about to wrap my hands around his neck when he breaks the kiss, chuckling.

  “This might not be the best place to make out, Jules.” He takes my hand and gives my cheek a gentle kiss.

  When I peek over his shoulder, several eyes are already on us. How embarrassing. Heat rushes into my cheeks, and I press my lips together. “Sorry. I’m a bit out of it today.”

  He tilts his head and grows still, observing me. “Everything okay?”

  I pull away from him to sit down, Carter mirroring me as I take a large sip of the water on the table. “Yeah, I guess. Actually, I don’t know. I haven’t been sleeping very well this week, and I think it’s messing with my brain. I forgot about some orders, so I’m stressed about how I’ll get everything done in time while also trying to keep up with the new orders that keep coming in.”

  His brow wrinkles. “Is there anything I can do to help? Why didn’t you say anything? I didn’t know you had trouble sleeping.”

  I know he wouldn’t understand if I told him my reasons. He already has enough on his plate without worrying about me on top of everything. I don’t want to be a burden to him.

  A warm breeze gently stirs the tablecloth, and I brush my hand over it before shaking my head. “I just need to get more organized and seriously weigh my options about hiring someone to help. Even if it’s not for the jewelry-making itself, having someone take the business side off my hands would allow me to focus on the production.”

  Carter nods, probably happy about business talk. “Absolutely. I’m sure I have some good contacts if you want them.”

  This time, the smile comes a little easier. “That would be awesome, thank you.”

  He waves me off and stretches his arm across the table to take one of my hands. “Anything for my girl.”

  “Your girl?” I repeat his words in a trance as I blankly stare at his face, my insides clenching in a troublesome way.

  His smile falls a little at my expression, turning into something else, something more serious. “You’ve always been my number-one girl. Do you not like it when I call you that?” There’s an edge to his tone, and I don’t like it.

  “What? Yes. I mean, no.” A few strands of my hair come out of my ponytail when I shake my head almost violently. “It’s cute.”

  I don’t watch his reaction as our waiter chooses that moment to come to our table, taking our orders.

  The rest of lunch goes by quickly and mostly consists of small talk. It’s a little painful and awkward, so I keep my gaze on my food as much as I can—a veggie burger with fries—even though I’m not really hungry.

  As we get ready to leave, Carter fills me in on what happened with my brother.

  My lips automatically part in a grin, and I feel like this is the best thing I’ve heard all day. “I’m so happy he came around and you guys talked it all through.”

  Carter takes my hand as we walk out of the restaurant. “Me too. There might still be a few awkward moments here and there, but I think the worst is over.”

  “I agree.” My gaze is on my feet, and I’m almost itchy to get back home. Maybe I’m getting sick. I truly need to take that nap. I think knowing it’s coming helped get me through this lunch. The news about my brother made it worth it though. “You should have told me earlier. This is huge.”

  “I know, sorry. I guess I was preoccupied with this meeting I had this morning.” He shrugs, and his comment makes me stop halfway to the parking lot.

  Is he talking about what I think he’s talking about?

  “What meeting?” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, my heart beating loudly in my chest.

  He looks away from me, fi
dgeting with my hand. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just some meeting.”

  My stomach churns. Crap, I’m going to be sick.

  I pull my hand from his and take a step back, needing some room to breathe.

  Carter’s voice is low when he bends down. “Jules, what on earth’s going on? I know something’s been on your mind, and it’s killing me to see you this unhappy.”

  When I feel like I can breathe after a few deep inhales, I straighten as much as I can, telling myself to stop being such a wuss.

  With my hands on my hips, I keep my voice down, still aware enough of my surroundings to know there could be dozens of eyes on us. “It’s just about you and me and . . . us. Everything. I’m confused, and unsure, and angry too. So angry all of a sudden, and I hate it.”

  His eyebrows draw together and he tilts his head to the side. “You don’t like where this is going?”

  “That’s exactly my problem, because I do. Maybe too much. We’ve been spending so much time together, and you’re sweet, and kind, and I’m falling for you more and more every day. It’s so intense, it scares me sometimes.” The words just keep coming out of my mouth while Carter’s staring at me with wide eyes. “And then there’s this whole thing about that text message you got last night and lied about. It started all these thoughts in my head, these scenarios of how this could end badly, and I don’t know how to stop it. It’s driving me insane and . . . and it’s just too much.”

  Carter stiffens, a panicked expression flittering across his handsome features. “Shit. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this. You weren’t supposed to find out.”

  My brain finally catches up with my mouth, not only realizing what I admitted to him, but also how he responded.

  My heart feels like someone took a hammer to it, and for a moment I feel like my body isn’t working anymore, like everything continues to live around me while I die on the inside.

  Carter takes a step toward me.

  He reaches for me, but I flinch away. “Let’s talk about this.”

  The last bit of self-preservation kicks in, and I turn around to run to the parking lot across the street.

  My focus is on my car, my safe zone. I need to get myself together before I can deal with Carter. My head feels too foggy, the heartbeat in my ears so loud, I can barely hear him yelling.

  “Jules, watch out. No.”

  The sound of screeching tires is the only thing I hear as something hits the side of my body. Pain shoots through me as I tumble onto the hard asphalt.

  “Shit. Jules.” Carter is suddenly above me, frantic. I’ve never seen him like this, the color drained from his face as he turns and yells, “Call nine one one.”

  Dark spots flash in my vision, and my whole world turns black.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Carter

  “Where is she?”

  I hear Oliver before I see him, his voice identical to the panic I feel deep inside my bones. When he comes to a halt at the front desk, he looks like he’s five seconds away from a breakdown.

  Not that I can blame him. I had to sit down too when I felt like I couldn’t stand anymore without losing it.

  When he’s done talking to the clerk, his gaze searches the waiting area on the other side of the room until it lands on me.

  He heads my way, turning a few heads when he starts yelling at me, “What the hell happened?”

  His face is white, completely drained of any color, his eyes frantically moving back and forth between mine when he collapses in the chair next to me.

  I open my mouth but nothing comes out.

  “CJ, talk to me.” He grips my shoulder with a shaky hand, pleading with his eyes.

  My head moves left and right on autopilot. I don’t feel in control of my body in general. “I don’t know. One minute we’re talking, and the next she’s running into the street and straight into a car. It all happened so fast, and she wasn’t facing me, so I didn’t see her face before she collapsed on the ground in a heap.”

  I barely choke out the words before pressing a fist to my lips, just thinking about what happened, of Julia lying lifeless on the street, makes a wave of nausea roll through me.

  He gives me some room, slumping deeper into his chair like something knocked all the air out of his body.

  It seems like my brain got a jump start, the words suddenly pouring out of my mouth. “There was all this blood on her head and on the ground. She must have hit it when she fell. And she didn’t respond to anything.”

  Oliver runs his hands over his face, his shoulders dropping. “What did they say? How bad is it?”

  “I don’t know . . . I just don’t know.” I exhale a long breath, my own terror bubbling up. I don’t think I’ve fully processed what happened yet.

  A million questions fly through my head in a constant loop. Not to mention the many ways today could have gone differently. What I could have said differently. Reacted differently.

  Pain funnels into my heart. I can’t stop reliving those few minutes that changed my life.

  Fear clenches like a tight fist around my chest, and I’m unable to shake it off, no matter how hard I try. “By the time I reached her, she’d already passed out, and the paramedics couldn’t tell me anything when they got there. They kept talking about needing to do more tests. I’m not sure if she ever gained full consciousness—they didn’t let me ride in the back with her—and once we got here, they wheeled her off right away and told me to wait.”

  “Shit.” His hands go up to his face again, rubbing at his eyes. “Why would she run into the street anyway?”

  His eyes are red-rimmed as his gaze bores into mine, waiting for an answer.

  I swallow loudly, rubbing my hands up and down my pants. “I . . . I’m still not really sure what happened either. We met for lunch at the Hawaiian Grill. She was a little off but said she hadn’t been sleeping well. When we walked to the parking lot, she suddenly started talking about being confused and angry and something about falling for me, and some other stuff.”

  He groans. “Shit.”

  “I know. That’s what I said.”

  Ollie’s face turns into a sour mask, and I’m afraid he might either attack me or spit in my face. “Your answer was shit?”

  I cross my arms over my chest before letting them drop again, drumming my fingers on my legs. “Well, yes. But it wasn’t about the falling for me part. She said something else . . . and it hadn’t even registered what she’d said before. But before I could explain anything, she’d already taken off . . . Fuck.”

  Oliver’s nostrils flare like an angry bull, and I instinctively lean back in my chair, not that it really puts much distance between us.

  Before anything else can transpire, a nurse walks over, coming straight for us. “Are you both here for Julia Bradford?”

  She’s tall with a huge mop of brown hair on top of her head. I immediately recognize her as one of the nurses that took Julia from the EMTs. She looks tired, like she’s been here for more than just a couple hours already.

  “Yes.” We both shoot up at the same time, a tendril of panic seizing my chest.

  “How is she?” Oliver asks.

  “She’s stable and in her room. I can take you to her if you want. Dr. Miles will be with you shortly to update you on her condition.” That’s all she gives us before she spins around, expecting us to follow her. Which we do, of course. We’re trotting after her like two loyal dogs, not letting her out of our sight.

  After going through the security door, it’s only a short walk down the hall, Julia’s is one of the first rooms after the nurses’ station. My breath speeds up when the nurse reaches for the doorknob, blocking our view for a few more seconds until both Oliver and I get our first glimpse of Julia, a collective gasp echoing around the room.

  There’s only one bed in the room, and Julia looks tiny in it. She’s pale, with white gauze wrapped around her head. Several machines beep, cables running from it, the parts attached to her body disappearing
under the sheets.

  The nurse gives both of us a nod that I tell myself is supposed to be reassuring. “She’s sleeping right now, but use the nurse call button if you need anything. The doctor will be with you shortly.” Then she leaves, shutting the door quietly behind her.

  Almost simultaneously, we both move closer to the bed, quietly staring at her until there’s a knock on the door. A lanky man walks in, wearing the typical doctor outfit of dark blue scrubs with a white lab coat. We walk over to him, both of us shaking his extended hand.

  “I’m Doctor Miles.”

  “How’s my sister?” Ollie sends the doctor a darting gaze, his voice a little shaky.

  The doctor looks at the chart in his hand, writing something on it before closing it. “She’s doing okay considering the circumstances. She’s been in and out of consciousness, still in shock, which is normal. We did the FAST exam when she came in—our sonography test that allows us to check for serious abdominal injuries—so we know there aren’t any internal bleeds. All signs for a mild concussion are there, but all in all very promising. Some bed rest, fluids, and a mild pain reliever should allow her body to pull through this rather fast. Her head wound looked a lot worse than it was, which is common for head injuries. She was lucky nothing worse happened, and miraculously, the baby is doing well too. We were able to find a strong heartbeat.”

  He looks at us with a small smile on his face, obviously happy to give us the good news.

  When neither Ollie nor I react with anything but stunned silence, he tilts his head and furrows his eyebrows. “I take it you didn’t know about the pregnancy?”

  The question earns him simultaneous headshakes from my best friend and me. Our gazes meet, and even though I didn’t think it was possible, he has even less color in his face now than he did before. As if on reflex, I shake my head again, silently conveying I really had no clue.