Always Loving You

by Sydney Landon

  Ava felt her face go up in flames as she looked around to make sure no one was listening before saying, “He said to be at his house at eight . . . with no panties.”

  “No, he didn’t!” Suzy all but shouted. “I bet you don’t make it as far as the bedroom tonight before he jumps your bones! That man probably hasn’t been able to think of anything else all day. You go, girl.”

  Next, Ava did something she would never have thought possible while being scantily dressed in public: she let loose a full-belly laugh and felt years of repression start to lighten from her shoulders. She’d had sex, walked on a public beach in a bikini, and done her first ever sext—all in one week—with only minor moments of panic. After so many years of almost giving up on herself, she was getting her life back, and in that moment, she felt like a carefree teenager again. Fun, fearless, and ready to take on the world.

  Without stopping to overthink it, she pulled a now-worried Suzy up to the sign advertising parasailing before it hit her. “I didn’t bring any money!” Maybe it was divine intervention, but she didn’t want to stop now. She had been determined to see this through without letting her fears win.

  Suzy looked at her disappointed expression before cursing under her breath. In a move that made the young man taking the money gawk, Suzy stuck a hand into her swimsuit top and pulled out some bills. “I know I’m going to regret this, but if you’re all set to go for it, then I’ve got your back.” The poor guy seemed to struggle not to swallow his tongue as he took the hundred-dollar bill from Suzy’s outstretched hand. When he was finally able to get it together enough to return her change, he motioned for one of the thankfully older men on the beach to help them into the boat.

  One man drove the boat while the other hooked them in their harnesses and then helped them onto the flight deck. The man handling the equipment explained that they would be launched and retrieved using a hydraulic winch. Ava was relieved to know that they wouldn’t suddenly catapult into the water. When the winch started to launch them into the air, she felt her stomach drop to her feet. “Oh my God, why did I let you talk me into this?” she screamed over at Suzy.

  “What! I was happy to stay on the ground! I told you that we’d take baby steps today. That meant walk around and think about doing this shit, but not actually do it!” Suddenly, they both looked down, realizing that the boat was now only a small speck in the distance. “Oh, holy fuck-a-moly! Remember what I said about pissing my pants? Well, it may just happen this time!”

  For Ava, that was all it took. Hearing Suzy curse and toss out threats along with the adrenaline rush of doing something so completely crazy was enough to make her snap. Instead of the panic that she would normally feel, though, she started laughing. Tears rolled down her face, and she could barely breathe, but she only laughed harder. She had well and truly lost her mind this time, but in a good way. She threw her hands up into the air and started to squeal between bouts of mad laughter. “Ahhh, yayyy!” she screamed over and over. After a few minutes, she noticed someone echoing her crazy yells and turned to see Suzy doing something similar. They looked at each other, grinning like idiots.

  “Girl, you are crazy!” Suzy gasped out. “Everyone within a five-mile radius can probably hear us, but who in the hell cares? This is the bomb!”

  When the guy below hoisted them in, he was grinning at them, trying hard to suppress his own laughter. “Sounds like you ladies had a good time.”

  Instead of shying away and waiting for Suzy to answer, Ava gave him a thumbs-up. “It was off-the-charts! We’ll definitely be back, right, Suzy?”

  Suzy gave a small thumbs-up in return before slumping back against the boat seat. “Ur—yeah, I’m afraid we will.”

  After that, they took a leisurely walk on the beach, laughing over how crazy they had sounded before heading back toward Suzy’s house. Ava had expected to see Mac there and was disappointed when Gray said that he had already left.

  At Suzy’s insistence, she left her swimsuit on but borrowed a T-shirt to throw on over it. It did seem crazy to put her work clothes back on after being on the beach. It wasn’t exactly sexy lingerie, but still she hoped that Mac would like it.

  * * *

  Mac paced back and forth across his entryway, waiting for Ava to arrive. When he’d shown up at Gray’s house earlier, the other man casually mentioned that his wife and Ava were parasailing down on the beach and would be back in a few hours. Parasailing? Holy shit! Mac’s concentration had gone out the window after that. He was only half listening to Gray’s questions about an alarm system upgrade as he imagined the woman he loved breaking her neck and drowning in the freaking Atlantic Ocean. It had taken everything he had not to leave Gray standing there while he marched down the beach and threw Ava over his shoulder. He thought he deserved a fucking medal for having that much self-control.

  He had wanted to ask Gray how it was that he didn’t seem at all concerned about his wife’s welfare but figured that being married to Suzy had probably taught the other man some patience. Mac had always heard that a smart person picked his battles, and maybe that was how Gray handled things with his wife. Mac, though, obviously wasn’t that intelligent, because he was pissed and ready to start an out-and-out war with Ava the moment she arrived. That was assuming she made it there in one piece. She was supposed to arrive at eight, which was about fifteen minutes from now.

  He had been in a state of near-constant arousal since her text earlier today. Couple sexual frustration with anger, and it was a volatile combination. He knew that he needed to exercise control with her, though. He couldn’t risk scaring her away, after they had finally taken a step forward and made it this far. Her message had given him hope that she wanted him with the same all-consuming desire that he felt for her. He had already been hanging by a thread when he found out that she was, once again, doing something that could very well get her injured. He had hoped that after she had been so spooked by the man at the hang gliding club meeting, she would give all that up and come to her senses, but that didn’t appear to be the case. These stunts just seemed to be getting worse. He wanted to kiss every inch of her delectable bottom but also itched to turn it red. The woman would be the death of him.

  As he continued to seethe, he heard the unmistakable sound of a car engine followed by a slamming door. That had better be her. He truly pitied anyone else who believed this might be a good night for a visit. He looked through the side window and glimpsed her walking up the steps. He gulped as he noticed she wore nothing but a shirt that left miles of leg uncovered. Oh, shit. He threw the door open, noting her surprised expression as her finger hovered over the doorbell. Without a word, he took her hand and pulled her inside the darkened entryway . . . and that was as far as they made it.

  A fire ignited between them that made it impossible to think rationally. Before he could even fathom how it had happened, he had her shirt over her head and his hands on her ass, grinding her against his painfully hard erection. “Mac—yes,” she moaned as he untied the strings to her skimpy swimsuit, exposing every naked inch of her to his hungry gaze.

  Her small hands were on him, pushing his basketball shorts down his legs, seeming to want him just as desperately as he desired her. He hooked one hand over his back, pulling his shirt up over his head, and finally, they had what they were both hungry for—skin-on-skin contact. For Mac, self-control was gone. He was an animal in its most primitive form. “Mine,” he moaned as he took one of her nipples in his mouth, sucking the rosy peak while pinching the other one between his thumb and forefinger. “I need you, baby—now,” he growled, pushing the head of his thick cock against her wet entrance. His body shuddered as he waited for her permission. Even with the raging need he felt, he couldn’t possess her without knowing it was what she wanted. He needed to hear the words. When she moaned against his neck, he whispered, “Say it, baby. Tell me you want me.”

  Wrapping a leg around his thigh, she groaned, “Yes . . . yes, Mac. God yes, I want you. Please—now, righ
t now!” Before she finished her plea, he was pushing inside her. She was so tight that he was forced to go slow, even though he wanted nothing more than to bury himself in one stroke. He couldn’t hurt her—he’d never do that, no matter how close to the edge he was. She came first; she always had. After a few shallow thrusts into her wet heat, it became apparent he wasn’t the only one ready for more. With a voice full of impatience she snapped, “Harder, Mac! Harder!” When he felt her small teeth sink into his earlobe, he lost it.

  Rearing his hips back, Mac seated himself completely inside her. She hooked both arms around his neck before wrapping her legs around his waist, pushing him impossibly deeper into her. “Ah, Avie, oh, baby, fuck yeah!” he chanted as his powerful thrusts nailed her ass against the wall. Her hips followed the movement of his, taking everything he gave her and begging for more. When the familiar tingle started at the base of his spine, he knew he was close, but damn it, he didn’t want this to end. Being inside Ava transcended every other moment in his life, and he’d fucking live there if she’d let him. “I’m close, baby,” he whispered against her ear, needing her to get there fast. When he would have lowered his hand to her clit, he groaned when he felt her using the base of his cock to do that very thing.

  Instead of the hard thrusts that had been pushing them both to the brink of insanity, Ava was keeping him locked inside her while grinding her sensitive nub against his root. He gritted his teeth and started thinking of anything he could to delay his explosion. He was at eighty-nine bottles of beer on the wall in his head when he felt her starting to spasm around him. He was helpless to stop his own body from following hers as her contractions milked his cock dry.

  When the tremors had subsided, he continued to lean against her, using the wall to support them both. His legs felt so damn weak he was afraid they’d both tumble to the floor if he moved too soon. The feel of Ava’s small hand stroking against his sweaty back had his spent flesh twitching to life. Surely, there was no way he could go again so soon after releasing everything he had into her . . . could he? He had the answer to his question, as he continued to harden. Un-fucking-real. He needed somewhere soft for them to land this time, though. “Mac,” Ava purred, locking her legs tighter around his waist.

  “Hang on, baby,” he mumbled before clutching her close and straightening to take her weight. They both moaned in pleasure as his steps toward the bedroom pushed his cock deeper. She protested as he separated from her briefly to lay her on her side on the bed. He knew that both of their bodies were tired, even if their libidos were still going strong. He curled up behind her, lifting her leg over his thigh before sliding back into her from behind.

  Mac knew she approved of the new position when her head fell back against his neck on a long sigh of pleasure. “So good,” she murmured as he leaned closer against her back to cup her breast. He kept up a slow and leisurely rhythm while his hand wandered over every inch of her exposed skin. He smiled at her fevered shout of approval when he slid his fingers between her legs, flicking her swollen clit. Slow sex was all but forgotten and she moved her hips impatiently, trying to quicken his pace. He tormented her for a few moments longer, actually slowing down until she raked her fingernails down his thigh. Ouch! It seemed as if his woman was tired of waiting.

  His stroking fingers increased with the speed of his cock and he was giving her everything she wanted. They both raced toward an invisible finish line with her crossing it just as his balls started to tighten in warning. She collapsed against him so completely afterward that he moved his hand around on her chest to check her breathing. Satisfied with what he felt there, he pulled himself from her body and got out of bed to clean up. He knew that there was no way she was moving any time soon, so he returned with a washcloth, kissing her forehead and gently cleaning her as best he could before walking through the house to lock up for the evening. It was a testament to how she affected him that he hadn’t even thought to lock the door before devouring her in the hallway. Yeah, both the big head and the little head only had one thought when she was around, and it damn sure wasn’t safety. For someone in his line of work, that was almost a sacrilege.

  When the house was secure, he settled back around her, smiling in the dark like a sap when she snuggled sleepily against him. He remembered that he had been mad as hell at her earlier with the whole parasailing stunt. Funny how that hadn’t even occurred to him once his hands had touched her skin. Right now all he could feel was complete contentment that for the second time the woman he loved was sleeping next to him. Tomorrow was soon enough for him to be pissed. Tonight he just wanted to hold her and vow that she would never spend another night without him.

  Chapter Seventeen

  A heavy weight across her chest pulled Ava from a dreamless sleep and straight into a nightmare. Disoriented, she could only work out was that someone was holding her down. Terror raced through her body as her fight or flight instinct kicked in with a vengeance. She had to get free! Oh God, it was happening again, he was going to hurt her—he had said he would, and now he was back!

  Her mind went hazy as she started to fight like a cornered animal. She wouldn’t let this happen to her again. He would have to kill her this time or set her free. So she fought, she kicked and scratched every inch of skin that she could reach. She heard him howling in pain, which only fueled her need to inflict further damage. He would pay—this time she would hurt him as much as he had hurt her. This time, she would finally win.

  “Ava! Ava! Goddammit, stop! Fucking hell, baby, wake up!” A familiar voice broke through the haze her bloodlust, causing her to pause. Mac? Had he come to save her this time? She turned toward his voice, wondering why he kept telling her to wake up. Couldn’t he see that she was being attacked? “Ava . . . open your eyes. Baby, look at me.”

  Her heart started racing as a different kind of fear set in. As her eyes fluttered open, she struggled to keep them open against the bright glare filling the room. As she blinked, slowly adjusting to the light, she looked at the man holding her pinned beneath him in dawning horror. “No, oh, please no,” she whispered as she looked at the blood tricking from his nose and the corner of his mouth. Red welts dotted his cheeks and neck along his chest and arms. “Please tell me I didn’t do that to you,” she cried even though she knew there was no other explanation. She had been fighting what she thought was an attack against her when all the while it had been all in her head. It was Mac. The man who would never physically hurt her.

  “Shhh, it’s okay, baby,” he whispered repeatedly as he pulled her against his battered body. She completely lost it in what she now recognized as the shelter of his arms. Her sobs filled the room along with her garbled apologies.

  She couldn’t understand how something like this had happened. She’d had nightmares about the night of her attack, as anyone would who had been through that sort of trauma. The dreams had almost completely stopped, though, several years ago, and she’d never once dreamed of hurting her attacker. In her dreams, she was always the victim, always. “I—I don’t know what happened. I thought he . . . was back. That I was being—hurt again.” When she pulled back enough to look into his face and saw the wounds she had wrought there, her stomach churned. Oh God, she was going to be sick. With no time to explain, she sprang from Mac’s embrace, stumbling toward the nearest bathroom. She barely reached the toilet before her stomach upended what little it contained into the porcelain bowl.

  Ava tried to protest when Mac walked up behind her, then gently pulled her hair back while she succumbed to the dry heaves racking her body. He rubbed her back, making soothing sounds until the spasms finally passed. Leading her around as if she were a child, he helped her over to the bathroom sink and brought a spare toothbrush out of the cabinet for her. He poured her a cup of water and put the toothpaste on the brush before handing it to her.

  She stood before him completely naked, having slept that way. After all that had transpired between them, modesty was the furthest thing from her mind. M
ac had donned a pair of boxers at some point. He reached behind her and started the shower. Without saying a word, he checked the water temperature before stepping out of his boxers and pulling her into the steamy heat with him. Then he washed her like a child, before making quick work of soaping up his own body. Even though he touched every inch of her, there was nothing sexual in his movements. They were both still traumatized by what had happened earlier.

  After he had dried them both, he handed her a pair of his boxers and a clean T-shirt. The boxers hung low, but she turned the waistband down a few times and managed to keep them on. The bedside clock said seven, which meant she needed to be at the office in less than two hours. Beside her, Mac dressed in his usual business attire of a company polo shirt and cargo pants. She knew he was watching her the entire time; she could feel his eyes on her.

  “Coffee?” he asked as she finally returned his stare. When she nodded, he took her hand and led her toward the kitchen. By unspoken agreement, they waited until a steaming cup sat before each of them at the bar before talking.

  After taking a fortifying sip of the hot brew, she closed the distance between them. The water had washed away the blood from his face, but the heat of the shower had made the welts more prominent. She reached out to touch his face, feeling tears welling once again. “I’m so sorry, Mac.”

  His hands went to her waist, pulling her against him. She felt him exhale against the crown of her head. “What happened, baby? Are you having nightmares like this often?”

  Sliding her hands around his waist, she let herself sink into his strength. “No, I’m not. There have been nightmares on and off but not recently. But I’ve never had one like this one. I was so determined to fight back. I was so angry. Even now, I can still remember all the hate coursing through me. I—I’ve never felt anything like it. I wanted to kill him. It wasn’t him I was hurting, though.” She shuddered at the recollection.