The Tome of Bill Series: Books 5-8 (Goddamned Freaky Monsters, Half A Prayer, The Wicked Dead, The Last Coven)

by Rick Gualtieri

  My mind raced back to Switzerland. Hadn’t Alexander proclaimed Druaga one of the lords of the dead? I had no idea what that really meant, but supposed it was possible he’d been pissed at my escape and decided we could go fuck ourselves. I couldn’t see why a death god wouldn’t be able to command...

  Gah, I had no idea. It was like I’d emerged from my hole in the ground to find a world similar to the one I remembered, yet topsy-turvy at the same time. I’d barely had a moment to myself long enough to take a shit, much less make sense of anything.

  Oh well, hopefully, once we were parked and nestled inside of Boston’s massive complex, we’d have a moment to think things through properly.

  Calibra rolled down her window for the attendant present - the only soul we’d seen out and about since the zombie. He simply nodded and pushed a button. Within seconds, we were diverted from the main track and into an underground garage - parking, I noted, in a much better spot than whenever I’d visited as a guest. Once more, I was forced to consider, with no small amount of amusement, how much Hollywood got wrong. On the big screen, the world of the undead was a dark place full of mysticism and terror. In reality, there was a disturbing amount of the mundane that anyone who’d spent any stint whatsoever within corporate America would instantly recognize.

  At least this time, we had the benefit of being with the main man himself. No having to sit around in waiting rooms dealing with Colin’s smarminess while he debated whether or not we were worthy of an audience. With any luck, James would transfer his foul mood toward his lackey. It was a petty hope, but fuck it. What good was being immortal if I didn’t allow myself the occasional dickish indulgence?

  As we entered an elevator leading - where else - down, I was forced to wonder whether entrances were this low key for all of the Draculas. Alexander certainly seemed to like his pomp and circumstance. James was different, though. Hell, he hadn’t even wanted to bother his people for a pick-up in the woods. The dude was as salt of the Earth as vamps got.

  The door dinged open and we stepped out. I tensed up, wondering what we’d find, but everything seemed to be business as usual. Vampires, most of them in typical corporate dress, scurried about performing what looked to be mundane tasks.

  A small part of me cringed as I watched them. While getting my ass kicked on a semi-regular basis wasn’t exactly a walk in the park, it was at least more interesting than being conscripted into middle management for all of eternity. I had liked my job at Hopskotchgames, but trust me, I wasn’t exactly ready to curl up and weep into my stew at losing it. A short vacation while I got my resume out there again didn’t seem like the worst thing in the world. Sure, I might need to bum some cash off my folks, but...oh, shit.

  I still needed to call them when I got five minutes to myself and make sure they were okay. Thankfully, I was fairly sure Scotch Plains, New Jersey was pretty damn low on the list of tactical targets in this war.

  James still looked tense as we walked through the halls, but I was relieved to see Calibra relax a bit. Various minions respectfully approached her for a signature or permission to do some bit of business or other. She waved most of them away, but took a moment to take care of a few quick inquiries.

  I glanced at Sally and Ed and they both shrugged. The feeling was mutual...much ado about nothing, I suppose.

  “So what’s the plan?” I asked, stepping forward to catch up with James.

  “The plan,” he said, “is for me to touch base with Colin and then convene a conclave of the First to discuss this issue. Beyond that, I cannot say more.”

  “Let me guess...need to know?”

  “Precisely.” He turned to address Calibra. “Kindly make sure our guests are comfortable, my dear. I will be heading to the lower levels. Please see that I am not disturbed. I will send for you once I am finished.”

  If she was curious - like I sure as shit was - she didn’t show it. She simply nodded, then turned to face the rest of us, blocking the path. Beyond her, James kept walking, barely acknowledging any of the vamps who scurried out of his path.

  “I take it we’re not invited,” Sally said.

  “The Wanderer shall be speaking with the rest of our masters. Such proceedings are not for the eyes of children.”

  “So we’re not allowed to watch whatever mystical ritual he uses to summon them?” Ed asked half-jokingly.

  “Hardly, human, unless you consider an encrypted video conference via our transatlantic fiber cables to be mystical.”

  “Wait, you have...”

  “Of course,” she said offhandedly, her look one of barely concealed impatience. “We have a multi-gigabit connection. This is the twenty-first century, after all.”

  “Uh, yeah,” I replied, a little dumbfounded. “So what do we do until then?”

  “I have business of my own to attend to.” She stopped and pointed toward her left. “There is a lounge down the hall. Please feel free to help yourself to any refreshments or,” she threw Ed a quick look of disgust, “freshen up a bit. When you are finished, you may make yourself comfortable in my waiting area. I believe you know the way.”

  She turned and walked away with no further fanfare, her pace brisk and business-like. After about ten paces, though, she stopped and once more faced us. “I will, of course, stress that you are not to do anything that would disrupt this place of business.”

  “Wouldn’t dream of it,” the three of us replied in unison.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  “This is some good shit,” Ed replied as he sipped a cup of steaming coffee. “Nice to see they don’t cheap out on everything.”

  I offered him my cup. “You should try it with some blood.”

  “Pass.”

  “You don’t know what you’re missing.” I turned, waiting to see if Sally had some snarky comment of her own to make, but she just sat in a chair, her own cup untouched in front of her.

  I stepped over and took a seat opposite her. “What’s the matter? You switch to decaf in my absence?”

  “Not this century,” she replied with a quick grin before turning serious again. “Something about this whole thing isn’t right.”

  I opened my eyes wide in mock surprise. “Really? You’re just catching on to this now? What parts aren’t right: the uber vamp who kidnapped our coven, the fact that the Feet should now be called the Arms, or maybe all the fucking monsters running about and making themselves at home?”

  Ed chimed in. “Me having anti-vampire blood, the fact that Bill managed to wreck my new car within twelve hours of returning home, that sk...”

  “Never gonna let me forget that, are you?”

  “Not as long as you live.”

  “No. It’s not about any of that shit.” Sally slammed her cup down, spilling all of the awesome coffee goodness inside. Some things should really be a crime. “James isn’t himself. I’ve never seen him act like this before. And this place...” She waved her hands about. “There’s something off.”

  “I haven’t noticed it.”

  “Same here,” Ed added. “Seems pretty much to be running like the last time I was here - vampires performing menial office...”

  “Vampires,” Sally said, cutting him off. “That’s exactly the problem. Where are the fucking zombies? They should be out there in droves, pushing papers and shit.”

  She stood up. “I have a bad feeling the one we saw out on the streets wasn’t some aberration or stray.”

  “You think it was one of ours?”

  “Could be. Why else would James have told that bitch to floor it instead of investigating? Something is wrong, and he’s well aware of it.”

  The sound of movement caught our attention and we turned to the entrance of the lounge. My jaw nearly hit the floor as I spied the source.

  Firebird was standing there.

  Her clothes were torn and her eyes appeared a bit glazed, but she otherwise appeared hale and hearty.

  “You always were a smart
one, Lu. Pity you’re a day late and a dollar short this time.”

  The Gauntlet

  Sally snarled and launched herself forward. She reared back her arm, claws extended, and was about to erase Firebird’s vacant stare - along with the rest of her face - when I caught her by the wrist. Even so, she nearly tossed me over her shoulder with the effort. It was all I could do to stand my ground and hold her at bay.

  “Down, girl!”

  She spun toward me, eyes blackened and fangs fully extended. Whoa, she looked massively pissed - and believe me, I’ve seen Sally pretty goddamned angry before. I almost released her before catching myself.

  “That’s enough.”

  “Let go of me, Bill,” she snapped. “I owe this bitch. She’s been ratting us out to Marlene this whole time and nearly got me kill...”

  “Who the fuck is Marlene?” I had no idea what had her in such a lather, but I wasn’t about to let her do as she wished. “Oh, and what’s with the Lu stuff again? You ever gonna tell me what that means?”

  My second question caught her off guard, which was what I was hoping to do - mostly, at least. This was the second time someone had let that slip. The first being Colin way back when...

  “Yeah, calm down,” Ed said, stepping up to us, albeit staying slightly out of her reach. “The whole point of all this bullshit was to find her.”

  “No,” Sally corrected. “The point was to find Starlight and the rest of our coven. This fucking whore is collateral damage as far as I’m concerned.”

  “Stow it,” I said, my own frustration starting to boil over. “Look at her, she’s obviously been compelled.”

  “Yeah, and if she’s here, then maybe so are the others,” Ed pointed out.

  “Fine,” she replied, taking a deep breath. “When this is over and everyone is back to their normal selves, though, she and I are having words.”

  “Fair enough.” I let her go - ready to pounce should she decide to go postal again. Jeez, chicks could be so goddamned catty when they wanted to be.

  I asked Firebird, “Are the others here?”

  “No,” she replied with a hollow voice. “I don’t know where they are. The master did not allow it.”

  “The master?” Ed asked.

  I turned toward Sally with a smug grin. “See, I told you...compelled.” I then addressed Firebird again. “Where is this master?”

  “Not here. He’s gone elsewhere to seek his army. He fears he is not yet strong enough to take this facility. He released me first, though, to deliver a message.”

  “What message?”

  “A message for the ears of the First.”.

  “We need to go find James,” I said.

  Sally just sighed and replied, “No shit, Sherlock.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Sally led the way and I followed, making it a point to stay between her and Firebird. We decided it was safer to seek out Calibra first rather than disturb James. Also, neither of us had any idea where his chambers were located in the complex.

  “You could have left that in the lounge,” I said, indicating the duffle bag which seemed to have become a permanent fixture on Sally’s arm.

  “All of our party favors are in it.”

  “I seriously doubt we’re going to need to shoot James.”

  “It’s not James I’m worried about.”

  I was about to respond when Ed nudged me from behind. I turned to find we’d attracted an entourage. Several of the office drones had dropped what they were doing and were following us.

  “How...” I started, but Sally shushed me.

  “I have a feeling we’re about to find out.”

  The double doors leading toward the Prefect’s wing were just ahead of us. This was the one area of the place I’d seen that lived up to its reputation - the office motif giving way to an obsidian cavern. It housed a waiting area, as well as the office of the vampire in charge of the Northeast - Calibra, at the moment.

  Sally turned toward me just a split second before I caught the scents in the air - a lot of them. In this crowded den of the undead, it was nearly impossible for me to tell who they belonged to by smell alone - especially with Ed hovering so near. Sadly, the lounge hadn’t included shower facilities, just a couple of packs of wet wipes.

  “You’re smelling it, too?” I asked her.

  “Uh huh. Either Calibra is hosting a really large staff meeting, or we’re about to be royally fucked.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  The first thing that caught my eye upon pushing open the doors was the flash of light at the far end. I was familiar with it, having seen it more times than I cared to - a vampire had just gotten dusted.

  The second thing I noticed was all the semi-familiar faces in the room. I didn’t know them personally, but I’d met some briefly in the office - the new recruits from Village Coven.

  They weren’t the only ones, either. Judging by the street dress of some in attendance, we’d found the missing HBC vamps as well. More disturbing, though, were the vampires standing guard at the periphery. Many of them were dressed in what looked to be riot gear, silver stakes at the ready. I hadn’t seen any of them before, but if I had to guess, I’d say that they were part of the strike teams James had mentioned.

  I continued scanning the crowd and realized something else: those in attendance displayed a mix of expressions - some clear-eyed, while others were glazed and vacant. Many were apparently still under compulsion, but there were a good deal that appeared to be there of their own volition.

  “What the hell’s happening?” I asked nobody in particular.

  “I’d say that’s what’s happening.” Sally pointed straight ahead. “Is that the guy who has everyone so frazzled?”

  It was. Chuck sat at the far end - lounging in an office chair, but making it seem like some sort of throne. His back was against the doors leading into Calibra’s office. He’d once more changed outfits. Gone was the mismatched kilt, and in its place was a pair of black tactical pants matching that of the guards - no doubt appropriated from some unlucky vamp. He was still shirtless, though, his tattoos standing out in stark contrast to his bronzed skin. A part of me couldn’t blame him. If I had a physique like that, I’d probably toss all my shirts into the wastebasket as well.

  He gave us no notice as we entered. Instead, he casually motioned with one hand and two of the compelled vampires stepped forward to stand in front of him.

  I saw the barest furrow of his brow and the two vamps staggered for a moment, shaking their heads as if coming out of a daze. They’d been set free.

  The big goon addressed them in whatever gibberish Latin he spoke. I didn’t understand the words, but it was obviously a question. Maybe he was wondering what they thought of his bitchin tats.

  Rather than answer, the two vamps looked around, as if seeking help - their eyes landing upon us.

  “Freewill?” one of them asked, obviously recognizing me. “Save us!”

  Unfortunately, that wasn’t to be. The big guy made a disgusted “Feh!” sound. At this, four of the armored vamps stepped from the sidelines and staked them both without warning. Two brief flashes later, and they were nothing but ashes on the ground - joining what I now realized were several other piles lying about.

  I needed to do something, but was rooted to the spot, with no clue how to proceed. Where the hell was James or Calibra? Without them, there wasn’t any...

  I let out a sigh, realizing I was a fool to expect anything else.

  Without them there, I was pretty much on my own.

  What a surprise.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Well, not entirely on my own. I had my friends with me, but forgive my pessimism for not believing they were exactly going to tip the odds in our favor. Then I remembered that part of this crowd was made up of Village Coven vamps. Most of them were newbs, but there was the old proverb about safety in numbers.

  I quickly scanned the crowd as our host fi
nally seemed to notice us for the first time. He made a come-hither gesture, to which I was about to reply with my own one-fingered salute, but his motion wasn’t directed at me.

  Firebird stepped past us and began walking forward.

  I hoped this guy couldn’t understand English yet. “Firebird,” I hissed, “if you’re still in there, just do what he wants. Save yourself and we’ll figure out...”

  She stopped mid-step and glanced over her shoulder at me. Gone was the vacant look that had been on her face. Her eyes were clear and the smile on her face predatory.

  “I already did,” she purred. “He released me hours ago.”

  “He did?”

  “Told you! You should’ve let me kill her,” Sally grumbled.

  Firebird continued on her way. She reached the shirtless vamp and knelt by his side, wrapping one arm around his leg. The way he stroked her hair as she did so suddenly spoke volumes about the disheveled state of her clothes. Oh crap.

  “You should have listened to little Lucinda, Bill,” she said, leaning her head down upon his knee like some sort of rock star groupie on a bad eighties hair band cover.

  Wait just a second...

  I turned toward Sally and opened my mouth, but she cut me off. “Really? You want to do this now?”

  “Yeah, good point...Lucinda.” I couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, earning a glare of death from her. Sadly, my grin wasn’t long lived.

  Sally took a step forward, her posture saying she was rapidly falling out of the mood to talk. “Where’s Starlight, bitch?”

  “Poor little Alice. The master released us both at the same time. Alas, she chose poorly.”

  “Poorly?”

  Firebird stretched one hand forward and waved at the various heaps of ash on the floor.

  Oh no!

  The implication hit me like a freight train. Starlight had been a gentle soul amongst vamps - almost a mother hen. She’d paid for it by being constantly used by the more manipulative elements of the vampire world. Yet in the end, she’d managed to do all right by herself - having achieved mastery of Village Coven.