Every Step of the Way: (Smugglers Cove #1)

by Anna Lindgren

  “Take your clothes off and wrap yourself in this,” I say, handing her the rescue blanket. I grab the radio and let the Coast Guard know to call off the search. Alerting them I was able to find Cammie and get her back into the boat and that we’ll be returning to shore.

  Cammie overhears what I radioed as she starts to rapidly undress and wrap herself up in the blanket. I dig through my backpack and pull out extra clothes. I knew today would be wet; I just didn’t realize we’d be orchestrating a rescue mission.

  “I have a sweatshirt and an extra pair of sweats in my bag,” I say as I hand it over to her.

  “Th-th-th-thanks.” Her teeth chatter together from shock and cold.

  I rev the motor and race back to the dock as fast as we can. The windsock ripples in the wind, and the waves crash up against the breaker. Once we round the corner into the harbor, my adrenaline begins to subside. I park the skiff and tie us off to the cleats before jumping back into the boat to scoop Cammie into my arms.

  “Wh-wh-what are y-you d-d-doing?”

  “I’m taking you home,” My voice full of authority.

  I walk her up the dock and place her into the passenger side of my truck. Once I buckle her in, I run around to the other side of the truck and start the engine. I crank the heat as high as it will go and start to strip out of my clothing. I toss the wet gear in the bed of the truck and hop into the driver’s seat with nothing but my boxer briefs on.

  I start speeding toward home in a flurry. I look over at Cammie who has started to doze off. I try and rouse her as much as possible, but her eyes continue to close. She falls into a hard sleep, and I race to try and make it home to warm her up.

  The car skids along gravel as I brake to a halt at the end of my driveway. I jump out of the truck and jog around the front to Cammie’s door. I try to wake her, but it’s no use. Her chest continues to rise and fall in slowed succession. I scoop her into my arms and jog down the trail, my feet tearing as I run barefoot along the gravel path. The door swings open as I lay Cammie down on the couch in front of the fireplace grabbing every blanket in my house and tuck her in. I grab her a wool hat and pair of socks and slip them gently onto her body. Her cheeks begin to flush, which is a good sign the heat is returning to her body.

  Once she’s tucked in, I start to build a fire. One which roars and blazes to heat the whole house. When the firewood starts to crackle, I step back and grab a change of clothes from my room. I walk briskly down the stairs and climb under the blankets on the other side of the couch, Cammie’s feet resting on my chest. I feel the heat start to consume my body and take over me. My eyes drift close, shooting back open when I realize I need to let Ryan know we are safe, worried if I don’t text him, I will fall asleep, and Hilary will be left worried.

  I shoot off a brief text that we are at my place and I’ll explain the rest later. I don’t get a reply before my eyes fall heavy, and I shut my lids, unable to fight them any longer. Sleep takes over my entire body as my temperature continues to rise. I realize I’m bone and soul tired. The kind that isn’t just physical but also mental and emotional.

  The idea of losing Cammie comes into my mind before sleep finally consumes my entire being. I told her I love her. When I wake, I wonder if she’ll still be here and if she is, will she feel the same way?

  Seventeen

  Cammie

  I wake after a rejuvenating sleep. I look around Jake’s dimly lit cabin. My body’s taken over by sweat as my body bakes beneath layers of wool and fleece. I toss the several layers of blankets off my body and find Jake lying across from me, the fire lighting up his face in the dark. The storm continues to roar as the wind shakes the windows and rattles the house.

  The memory comes flooding back to me, I almost drowned. Jake dove into the water to rescue me; he risked his life to save mine. I run a hand along his clenched jaw before I sneak up off the couch and tip toe toward the kitchen. I look through the cabinets before deciding to make up his favorite, mac and cheese, after a day on the water.

  My mind wanders back to today’s events as I fill up the pot of water, and suddenly, my mind is back to those moments. My head submerged under water, using all my strength to kick and pull myself up for one more gasp of air. I remember that final breath, knowing it would be my last, the one I took before I slowly drifted toward the bottom of the sea.

  Before Jake dove beneath the surface and saved me.

  I didn’t notice who it was at first. I had this blurred memory of something pulling me up toward the surface, but I couldn’t make out what it was. Even after I regained my breath, I struggled to comprehend where I was and who I was with. The boat ride back to the dock was a blur of little snippets and clips of the day’s events, but none of it entirely made sense.

  I remember our argument leading up to it, where Jake said he was falling in love with me. My eyes wander over toward the couch while the noodles boil on the stove. This sweet, wonderful man loves me, and I’ve been too scared to give us a fair shot. I’ve been drowning myself instead of learning how to swim.

  I know there is always a possibility Jake and I won’t work out, but I fear the lack of trying would be a worse fate than trying and failing.

  Once the mac and cheese is finished, I bring a bowl over to Jake on the couch. I sit where his body is concaved near his hips. I wipe the hair out of his face, and he stirs lightly. I repeat the motion a second and third time before he starts to blink his eyelids. He blinks a few times and then flashes a tired smile, his eyes squinting tight together.

  “Hey,” he says in a soft, dry voice.

  “Hi,” I smile and hold the bowl up. “I made you something.”

  I set the bowl down on the coffee table in front of the couch and let him get his bearings. He places both feet to the floor and wipes a hand through his hair before he turns and looks at me again, wearing his sleepy grin.

  “You stayed,” he says as if there was ever a doubt. “And you made me breakfast.” He grabs the bowl and begins to eat before he looks around, taking in our dim surroundings. “What time is it?”

  “Eleven thirty.”

  “At night?”

  “Yes,” I drum my fingers against my lips, stifling a small laugh.

  “Wow, that was a long nap.”

  “Slept the day away,” I say.

  “Makes sense after how traumatic today was.” He nods, his eyes locking on mine. “Are you alright?”

  “On several accounts,” I concur.

  “Do you rem––” he starts before I cut him off.

  “That you said you were falling in love with me?” He nods, breaking our eye contact. “Yes.”

  We’re silent for a while as we listen to the wind howl outside, the fire crackling indoors, and the sound of rain pouring against the metal roof. I’m more in my head than the present moment between twiddling my fingers and chewing on my bottom lip. There is nothing left to say, other than to be honest.

  “I think…” I whisper, barely loud enough to be heard above the crackling fireplace. “I think I love you too.” Jake turns toward me.

  “Cam—"

  “Can I just talk for a minute before we move?” I plead with him and he nods. “I’m still worried about what this looks like. And I’m not really sure what this is. All I know is that I’ve never felt this way about anyone before you, and I don’t think I’ll feel this way about anyone after you.”

  I turn to look at Jake, his urgency to keep me here burning behind his eyes, before my words shatter the silence. “I’m terrified, like honestly petrified I’m going to mess this up. I’m worried you’ll realize you’re too good for me and you’ll leave like every man in my life before you.” I lift a hand to cup his face. “But I want to try. I need to try, because I’m more scared of the alternative.”

  He nods in understanding as bare my soul. “I need you to keep being patient with me. To know if I hurt you along the way, it was never my intention,” I sigh. “I worry about loving you so much that, when you leave,
I won’t want to live another day without you. That scares me more than anything.”

  Tears begin to well in my eyes, and my view becomes blurred. “I know I can learn to be who and what you need, but I’m worried about loving you with all of me…and never being enough.” I swallow the hurt clawing my throat. I clear it before speaking just above a whisper. “So, I’m terrified, but I want nothing more than to love you for as long as I get you.”

  Tears trickle down my cheeks, and my vision becomes clearer. I look up to Jake and see his face soft and loving with tears brimming his eyes.

  “I love you, Camille,” he whispers through his tangled voice. “I promise to love you for as long as you let me, as hard as you let me.”

  I chuckle as I lean forward and place a soft kiss onto Jake’s lips.

  “Is this crazy?” I breathe heavily against his mouth.

  “Yes,” he says as he frantically pulls me toward him.

  “We’ve only just met,” I breathily point out as he pulls my—his—sweatshirt over my head, tossing it toward the fire, his hands clasping at my naked waist.

  “I know,” his voice husky from disuse before his grin kisses against my lips. “Crazy.”

  “I don’t know if we should feel this way about each other,” I say as I tug at his t-shirt, pulling it up over his head.

  He stops to look at me, pulling his head away from my grasp. I stop abruptly and look at him through my tousled hair as it flows across my shoulders, chest, and back.

  “What?” I whisper as his eyes turn dark, his gaze lingering across my bare chest, tracing every outline and curve up to my face. Insecurity nags at me as I attempt to cover myself up with my arms, slowly folding my hands around my waist. He shakes his head, reaching up toward my neck to cup my jaw in his palm before he steps back and clicks another mental photograph.

  “You are stunning. I don’t want to go another day pretending to not feel this way about you,” he says as I place a gentle kiss to the inside of his wrist. “Is it crazy? Yes. Do I care? Only about you.”

  A smile stretches across my face at his assurance of us as he continues softly, “I’ve waited my whole life to feel the way I do when I’m with you. I’m not going to give up easily. So, keep pushing me away if that’s what you need to do.” He swallows a lump in his throat. “But know this, if it comes time to leave, you’ll have to be the one to do it. I’ll never be the one that walks away and leaves. I’m not going to run away from you.”

  Tears well across my eyes, spilling a tear down my left cheek. I wipe it quickly as another drops free. “Ugh, sorry,” I say with an embarrassed laugh.

  At that, Jake pulls me over him. I brush my lips against his softly. The smell of spruce and fire fill my soul with peace, having no doubt in my mind this is where I’m supposed to be.

  He wraps his strong arms around my back, pulling me toward him tightly, my hair spilling over my shoulders and gently skimming Jake’s chest. He moves his hand up to cup my face, weaving my hair around his fingers.

  It’s silent as the world around us starts to fade. His body hard against my flesh, the sounds of gentle moans, the touch of his hands rough against the softness of my skin. My senses become overwhelmed by Jake. Our kiss deepens as we continue to explore the depth of our relationship and meaning of one another, our trust building as my walls start to crumble.

  Jake rolls me over onto my back, pinning me beneath the weight of him as he continues to kiss against my lips, moving slowly down my neck. My hands tangle in his thick hair. Desire escapes my chest as weak moans, pleading for more of him. I feel a smile form across his lips as he slips his hand into the waistband of the sweatpants he has loaned me. “I want these off,” he gruffly demands.

  I shift and allow him to pull them around my hips. He lifts each foot, one by one, as he pulls my legs free. “Decided you wanted them back?” I say with a grin as I suck in my bottom lip.

  “Something like that,” he says with a mischievous grin as he returns over me, caging me in his arms as I take in the sheer mass of him. His strength and vulnerability. Enamored by the juxtaposition of him. He’s hard yet soft, demanding yet patient, kind yet demanding. I pull away, breaking our kiss as I stare deep into his eyes, my thumb stroking across his cheek. I search his eyes for a moment, trying to find a flaw, something I assume will rebuild my walls but instead I find nothing but sincerity.

  “You are something special.” I whisper the words, noticing how his smile grows across his face.

  “I think about you every second of every day,” he says, returning soft kisses to my swollen lips.

  His hand explores my breast, his mouth following the outline of my form as he lays soft kisses across my skin, worshipping my body as he explores every inch. My back arches as he closes his mouth over the peak of my nipple, a weak moan seeping into the otherwise quiet atmosphere.

  He continues to trail down my stomach, shifting his weight between my legs, wrapping my knees around his arms as he drops kisses along the inside of my thighs. My back arches with desire, the anticipation building in my chest as my heart pounds against my ribs. He kisses softly along the center of me as he hooks my legs over his shoulders, my body in complete submission to his will. He latches onto me while stroking me with his fingertips, my breathing coming more rapidly as moans claw their way out of my throat.

  “Jake,” I call out, his name breathlessly on my lips.

  I release with a thundering through my body. He continues to brush his fingers along the center of me as he pulls himself back to meet my gaze.

  I tug at his jaw to pull him closer to me, the desire to be underneath him again taking over every impulse. He responds and follows my lead, settling between my legs, caging my head beside his large biceps. He begins to kiss against my lips with reverence. I’ve never made love before, but I would imagine it being something like this.

  My hands slowly outline the ridges and valleys along his shoulders, down his back. I dip my hands into his sweatpants, feeling the length of him pressing against me. I try to shift his pants over his erection when Jake grabs my wrist in his hand. “Are you sure?” he growls softly.

  “Definitely,” I say, kissing against his lips, wrapping my fingers around his shaft.

  Once freed, Jake kicks his pants off the rest of the way, returning between my legs. He playfully rubs his tip against my peak. I slide my hands through his light-brown, wavy hair. His hands are tangled up in my long, dark hair. He kisses across my face and returns his gaze to mine, his eyes soft yet burning with desire. He hooks my knee under his arm as he lifts my hips, nuzzling up against my center. I sigh heavily with anticipation as I watch him disappear into me, slow and deep, until he reaches the end of me. Our bodies shudder and relax in unison at the feel of being together. Like a lock and key. He’s gentle yet rough, just as opposing as the rest of him.

  We lock eyes as he continues to shift inside of me, a harmonious symphony of breath and moans. His name on my lips and mine on his. He kisses me as his pace quickens, my climax peaking with a rush of warmth and ease. His follows close behind with my name strained across his lips. I kiss him as he comes undone, his breath easing against mine, our chests rising and falling together in unison. He pulls away slowly, keeping his nose resting against mine, his light-brown hair falling into my eyes.

  He catches his breath as his heart continues to hammer against my chest. “That was…”

  “Perfect,” I steal the words from his mouth and brush his hair out of his face.

  “We fit,” he says, certainty in his eyes, and I know exactly what he means. Instead of saying it with my words, I show him with my heart, mind, and soul. I want him to know I surrender fully, that I’m his.

  “I love you,” he says softly against my skin.

  I swallow the lump forming in my throat tight with emotion. “I really love you.” I nod, knowing for certain I’ve never loved before him. Knowing if for whatever reason he cannot keep his promise, that if he decides to leave or is taken from
this earth too soon, I will feel lost without him. My life will shatter around me, breaking me into a million pieces. My body tenses when a wave of panic washes over me.

  “I’m right here,” he says, reassuring me with his gaze and kind hands he traces along my skin, trailing every outline.

  I nod and allow the panic to seep out of my system, replacing it with peace. Jake is my definition of peace. I know I can be completely myself in his presence, even after such a short amount of time. The idea entices my imagination to wonder about our future, determining how much we might grow together over a lifetime of love.

  He slides next to me and wraps his arm across my waist, pulling me toward him, our bodies flush against one another. The fire burns down to embers, the wind continuing to hum against the windows, the sound of rain dripping against the metal roof. Finally, the sound of deep, even breathing comes from Jacob, his breath brushing across my bare neck, sending chills across my body. I wrap my arms around his and intertwine our legs. I allow the peacefulness to consume me. When sleep comes, I allow it to take me, knowing deeply no dream could be better than this moment, right here, lying next to this perfect man.

  Eighteen

  Jake

  My body hums as I wake, my body entangled with Cammie’s, the smell of her hair, honeysuckle and fresh rain from the day before. I pull my arm tighter around her waist as I bring her closer for a kiss, her moan sweet against her lips, my body responding unwillingly. She rolls her body against mine as I continue to kiss up her neck toward her ear.