Clandestine Angel

by Kate Hall

  “No,” he says, tone flushed with shock, before he even glances at the paper I’d forced on him.

  He scans it, his eyebrows scrunching together.

  He doesn’t reply, just reads the note over and over.

  “Well?” I ask, unable to help my pacing. This is a crisis, and he doesn’t seem to be reacting correctly. Shouldn’t he be panicking? Or angry? Anything other than the slight confusion marring his features.

  He frowns and looks back at me. “Where did you find this?”

  “In my pocket,” I say. “I think it was after the trip to Earth? But I can’t be sure. Anyone could’ve slipped it in and I probably wouldn’t have noticed.” I shake my hands out in an attempt to get rid of the rising tension in my body, but it doesn’t fix it. “You know, magic and all that.”

  He sits on his bed, his wings resting down around him like a knight’s cloak.

  “This is a problem,” he finally says.

  I bark out a laugh. “No shit.”

  I want him to say more, to assure me that it’s gonna be alright, but he doesn’t. He just keeps looking at the note and then back at me, the wrinkles in his forehead getting deeper and deeper. I half expect his skin to crack open like stone, but that’s absurd.

  “Are you gonna say anything?” I burst.

  He looks at the ground and shakes his head. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  Another laugh rips out of me. Am I becoming hysterical? I’ve never been hysterical before. “I want you to say it’s fine. That it’s a bad prank. Anything.” The corners of my eyes sting.

  He sighs and sets the paper on his bed.

  “I think you know what this means,” he says, standing and walking toward me slowly as if I might spook like a horse. He puts his hands on my shoulders, and the weight grounds me.

  “No,” I say, setting my jaw. “I can’t.”

  His pale eyes pierce mine. “Avery, you have to stop seeing her. If you’re found out, we have no idea what could happen to you.”

  I scrunch my eyes tight and shake my head, tears spilling out as my heart pounds at my ribcage. “No,” I whisper. The word breaks me.

  Nicolai takes me in his arms, holding me tight. I don’t know what I’d do without him, honestly. He holds me while I fall apart, sobs wrenching out of my body.

  “I just got her back,” I cry. “It’s not fair.”

  He rests his chin on top of my head. “I know,” he says. “I know.”

  I sniff, pressing my forehead against his chest. “I can’t let her go.”

  He sighs. “You have to.”

  I know he’s right. If I keep seeing Desireé, then we’ll get caught, and not just by whoever wrote this note.

  If I don’t stop this relationship now, who knows what could happen to us?

  Chapter Eighteen

  Everyone is a suspect now. I can’t look at anybody without wondering if they wrote the note, especially other second-term students. It has to be one of them, right?

  It could be Daniel, who’s always nervous at the idea of demons. It could also be Jenine, the girl who hasn’t spoken to me much since we had martial arts together last term. Honestly, though, it could be anyone. It’s impossible to know for sure.

  I don’t meet up with Desireé on patrols anymore. And we don’t talk as often as we used to. I’m too afraid of being caught. It’s not safe for us to be in constant contact, and my heart wrenches at the thought of the Archangels finding out she’s still alive.

  I walk into Demon Tracking and Awareness with a slump in my step, and I don’t pay nearly enough attention. I open the book to read where I’m supposed to, and I take half-assed notes, but that’s all. I just can’t stop wondering who’s onto me, who knows about Desireé.

  “Avery,” Gabriel calls, and I snap out of my haze. Everyone is packing their things and leaving, and I hadn’t even noticed. “I’d like you to stay for a moment so I can have a word with you.”

  Great. So now, on top of having to find a student that’s going to out me to the Archangels, I’m in trouble in class for being distracted. I’ll have to come up with a good excuse, and fast.

  “I’ll wait up for you,” Nicolai mumbles. We’re supposed to have a flying lesson this afternoon. He’s very nearly to the point where he can actually stay in the air, and to celebrate, we have a trip to the city planned for this weekend.

  I walk up to the front of the room, trying to seem disinterested.

  “What’s up?” I ask, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

  Gabriel’s eyes pierce mine, and I shiver. He’s always been a bit off-putting, but right now, he looks especially dangerous.

  “Let’s speak in my office,” he says with a frown. I shrug and follow him, sitting in one of the chairs across from his desk. He sits in the leather chair behind the desk, setting his elbows on the mahogany surface and twining his fingers together.

  “Is there something wrong?” I ask. I just have to be casual. The only thing he could possibly need would be for me to pay more attention in class.

  He blinks slowly, then reaches in his blazer’s inner breast pocket.

  “Is this yours?” he asks, and the last thing I’m expecting is in his hand.

  My black crystal phone.

  I swallow, and my heart beats harder than ever. I just have to stay calm. Maybe he doesn’t know what it is. It’s not angel technology, after all.

  Although I guess that’s part of the problem. My palms begin to sweat, and I keep my hands rested in my lap.

  “What is it?” I ask innocently. His eyes instantly harden, and the door shuts behind me. I startle and turn, and Azrael is standing behind me, a grim expression on her face.

  “There’s no point in lying, Avery,” she says. Her tone is filled to the brim with disappointment, and her eyes betray her broken heart. I swallow.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” My voice comes out as a strained breath, though. It would be obvious to anyone that I’m lying, and these two are ancient beings who’ve lived through the spark of humanity.

  Gabriel sighs and drops the black crystal on the desk. It clatters, and I tense like I’ve just heard a gunshot. “We found this in your room,” he says. Then, his jaw ticks. “The first time I caught you with the demon,” he spits, “I left you a warning in hopes you would confess.”

  My heart sinks. It hadn’t been another student, but Gabriel all along. Why hadn’t I considered this to be a possibility? Strategy-wise, it makes sense. It’s a lot easier for him to prove my guilt when he’s been spying on me throughout the term.

  He continues, “When you didn’t, I left you a final note. You have been given three chances, Avery, and you’ve failed us at every single turn.”

  I gape, opening my mouth to speak, but I don’t have the words. There’s nothing I can say. I’ve been found out. The Archangels know.

  Azrael’s hand rests on my shoulder. “I don’t want to do this,” she says. Before I can ask what she means, the world goes dark.

  Chapter Nineteen

  There’s a prison in the bowels of Theaa Academy. I had no idea it existed until now, as I await my trial. The bars are made of solid titanium, and my cot is nothing more than a thick slab of marble. My wings are bound to my back by an enchanted silver chain not unlike those used to restrain demons, and they strain to break free.

  Does Nicolai know what happened to me? Do Gabe and Huỳnh? I shiver at the thought of what they might be doing to me. Will I be killed again and sent to purgatory? Will I be imprisoned for eternity?

  Will I be sent to Hell to be tortured?

  I try to keep my breathing steady, try to keep my thoughts from spiraling. Maybe I should have forced Desireé to tell me what they’d done to her in Hell. At least then I’d be prepared.

  The waiting is the worst part.

  Finally, after three days of sitting around expecting my punishment, the door directly across from my cell opens. I half expect it to be Desireé, here to rescue me and
take me away. Maybe we could hide out on Earth forever, hiding from the angels so that we never get punished.

  Instead, though, it’s Azrael. Her expression is different from the last time I saw her. Before, it had been filled with pity and sadness. Now, though, it’s hard and cold.

  “Avery,” she says.

  I walk up to the bars and wrap my fingers around them. “Azrael, please,” I say. I know that begging won’t get me anywhere, but I have nothing left to give. “Cain switched us. Desireé isn’t supposed to be in Hell. I only did it because I knew she was innocent.”

  This is a half-truth at best. Even if she’d done something to deserve Hell, I don’t know that I could have washed away my love for Desireé as easily as I claim. My time with her would have happened if she’d been the worst demon of all.

  She might be, I remind myself. Marcus’s words course through me.

  She shakes her head. “It’s too late for that.”

  I close my eyes and nod. I knew that there was a risk in seeing Desireé. After everything, though, I know for a fact I would do it all over again. As long as Desireé is safe, I won’t regret my actions. I won’t regret loving her.

  “What’s gonna happen to me?” I ask.

  She frowns. “We haven’t gotten to that yet.”

  I evaluate her face, looking for a motive and coming up short. “Then why are you here?”

  It can’t be anything good.

  She sighs. “The demon…Desireé, has been brought into custody.”

  I suck in a breath. “You can’t,” I say, my voice going from hopeless to desperate in an instant. “Please, I’ll do anything.”

  “She’s a demon, Avery. How do you not understand this? Demons must be eliminated.”

  Tears openly fall down my cheeks, plummeting to the floor like rain. “Please,” I gasp. “Please.”

  It won’t help. Of course it won’t.

  Azrael shakes her head and walks away.

  Why would she come here just to tell me that? I tug at the bars, but they don’t so much as rattle. There’s nothing I can do.

  Chapter Twenty

  A rustling in the night wakes me. This must be it. I take in a deep breath, then sit up and look around.

  A mumbled, “Shit,” draws my eyes to the floor.

  “Nicolai?” I ask.

  He’s lying on the ground, trying his hardest to bring his wings back under control. He must have tripped over them in the cramped space.

  “Shhh,” he says, rushing up to the cage bars. He uses them to pull himself back to a standing position. “We only have a few minutes.”

  “What are you—” before I can ask, though, he covers my mouth.

  “They’re going to kill you. Soon. Huỳnh is distracting them, but they’re on the way.” He swallows and looks around. “They’ve brought in Michael.”

  The name sends shockwaves through me. Michael. The Archangel Michael. The biggest, baddest angel there is.

  “What are you gonna do?” I ask.

  He looks over his shoulder, but nobody seems to be coming.

  Yet.

  “What I have to.”

  He takes my face in his hands, and, for half a second, I think he’s going to kiss me again. I very nearly recoil in preparation. Instead, though, he mumbles a few words in Enochian.

  “They’re going to keep Desireé for the end of term ceremony,” he says after he’s finished his chanting. My mind begins to turn to fuzz. I have to repeat his words in my head to process them. What has he done to me?

  “But what—”

  He shakes his head. “There’s no time. We’re going to try to get her out, but if we can’t…”

  He doesn’t continue. I blink, and his face begins to turn blurry. What’s happening to me? I try to speak, but my tongue is too heavy.

  He presses his lips to my forehead affectionately. “It’ll be okay,” he promises, his words slurred like he’s speaking to me underwater.

  At that moment, an impact slams into me, knocking the breath out of me like I’ve been hit by a truck.

  The screeching of metal and rush of water overtake me, and I fade away.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  When I open my eyes again, I have to blink away the light. It’s nothing like the mystical brightness of Theaa Academy, though. It’s an artificial fluorescence, and I lift my hand above my face to block it out. When I take a breath in, I choke on the tepid air filled with chemicals and death.

  “You’re awake,” someone says, their relief palpable. A hand wraps around mine, and I snap my head to the side.

  What the hell?

  His face is somber and worn, but sober. Something I haven’t seen in a long time. Years. Still, I know the face instantly. A face I thought I’d never see again.

  “Dad?” I say.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  I’m on Earth.

  Earth.

  I’m not dead. This isn’t purgatory.

  Nicolai’s Enochian words begin to solidify in my head, but I can’t be certain of the translation. It had all happened so fast, and my brain is still a bit mushy.

  “We thought we’d lost you,” Dad says. His words don’t make sense, and his words are filled with grief.

  I shake my head. “No, I don’t…” But there’s nothing I can say. The words just don’t come to me. One minute, I’d been in the dungeon in Theaa Academy, and the next, I was here. In a hospital room, my father by my side.

  How is this even possible? I’ve been dead for nearly a year!

  Huỳnh’s words fade into my mind. Time works differently in Heaven.

  Had Nicolai sent me back? To the moment I died? Am I alive?

  Am I...human?

  I sit up, expecting my head to rush. After all, I’m in a hospital. I should feel woozy. But I don’t. I feel great.

  I stand up, half expecting my once bad ankle to bring me crashing to the ground, and Dad reaches out like he’s going to grab me, but he seems unsure of his actions. “Uh, I don’t think you’re supposed to move.” He seems desperate and confused, though, so I rush to the restroom and stare at myself in the mirror.

  My hair is back to its normal dark blonde color, but it’s still got that wavy sheen that it had when I was in Heaven. I don’t have any bandages on, and there isn’t even an IV in my arm like I’ve seen in movies.

  Would a needle be able to penetrate my skin? A human needle surely wouldn’t be able to hurt an angel.

  I turn around, and the back of the paper dress is open from the waist up. There’s an upside-down V shape on my back, almost like a bruise.

  My wings.

  They’re still there, somewhere. Somehow. But I have no idea how I’d even summon them on Earth. I whisper a spell I have memorized by now, and my sword materializes in my hand, its pearlescent handle reassuring.

  It had been real. It had all been real.

  And I’m still an angel.

  A knock sounds at the restroom door.

  “Avery, sweetie,” a female voice calls gently, “I need you to open the door.” I spin around and look at the weapon in my hand. I whisper another Enochian spell, and it disappears.

  If Nicolai had been able to send me back in time, would he have done the same with Desireé after rescuing her? Is she somewhere nearby?

  I open the door, and a tall woman with golden-brown skin and dark hazel eyes stares down at me, a gentle smile on her full lips. She’s wearing a doctor’s outfit, scrubs and a long white coat. She even has a stethoscope around her neck.

  “See? That wasn’t so bad,” she says. She rests a gentle hand on my upper arm. I have to find Desireé. Now. “Let’s get you back in your bed. You had quite a fall.”

  I shake my head. “I can’t—”

  But another interruption stops me. Another woman enters the room, this one wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I recognize her.

  Why is Desireé’s mom here? Is Desiree in a room near mine? She looks totally shell-shocked, and she rushes over and pulls me int
o her arms, something Dad hadn’t done. The difference between my distant parent and Desireé’s affectionate one is stark.

  After a moment, her body begins to tremble.

  “Are you okay?” I ask, pulling away. She’s clearly not. Now that I have the chance to study her, her eyes are red and puffy, and her hair and clothes are distressed. “What’s going on?”

  She looks at the doctor, then at my dad, but she doesn’t make eye contact with me.

  “Sweetie, we need to talk,” Dad says.

  Every part of me freezes, and in that moment, I know exactly what he’s going to say before he says it.

  “Desireé is dead,” he says.

  They’d failed.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  I’m trapped in the hospital for another two days, although it’s unclear why. I have zero injuries, and Dr. Nassar doesn’t perform any tests on me, other than asking me how I feel. Multiple times. It’s frustrating and impossible. I have to get out of here, find out how to get to Desireé and save her, but I don’t actually know how to teleport anywhere. That’s a skill I haven’t learned yet. How am I supposed to do anything productive if I can’t fly or teleport? All I can do is summon my sword, but that’s not helpful when I can’t even find the enemy.

  Dad is uncharacteristically attentive, and it frustrates me to no end.

  The day I’m finally given the go-ahead to check out, Dr. Nassar comes into my room while Dad is signing paperwork.

  “How are you feeling?” she asks for what must be the billionth time this week.

  “Fine,” I say.

  She frowns, her face going from friendly to intimidating in a snap. She glances at the door. Dad is at the nurses’ station, signing page after page of release forms.