Chaotic Anger: The Seven MC Book 1

by Breck, A. R.

  “No, Aziel. We need to cool off. Regroup and figure out where he is next. We took down a major location today. He’s taking a hit financially and he’s going to be pissed. Wait. What the—what the fuck?” He barks out, and when I look over my shoulder, I see West opening the back of the van, revealing two terrified girls.

  I look at my dad. “I’ll fill you in later. Okay?”

  He looks annoyed as he pulls a cigarette out of his pocket and lights it. “You sure will. Do you even know what the fuck you’re doing?”

  I laugh. “Not a clue.”

  I watch as West reaches for the girl and she twitches away from him, holding the smaller child as she crawls backwards to the back corner.

  “Hey, stop!” I bark, making the girl flinch even more. I wince. I meant to shout at West, but the girl thinks I’m yelling at her. “Sorry. West, back off. I’ve got it.”

  He looks between the girl and me for a moment and then shrugs, walking off to Jex who just walked outside. I ignore the rest of the guys who are just pulling up. Usually, we go get a drink at the bar from Haley before meeting for church. Today I don’t have time for that. I have two random girls here, who don’t even want to be here by the looks of it. I figure no one here will be happy to have them here either. We don’t let just anyone into the clubhouse. So having some of Santiago’s prisoners or girls, whatever they are, staying here, will put them all on edge. They’re going to be a weakness and a liability here at the club. But for the life of me I couldn’t tell West to shut the damn door and haul them over to New Mexico with the rest of the girls.

  I walk over to them, watching as she stares at me with her terrified eyes. They’re rounded and double the size they should be, the blue seeming endless as she watches me. The littlest one looks to be curled under the arm of the bigger one, hiding her face. She looks like she wants to slip inside her body. The trust they have between each other is clear, their bond is obvious. Are they siblings? Allies in this terrible world? Maybe… no. No way in hell are they mother and daughter. She looks too young. She’s way too young.

  Right?

  I get to the edge of the truck and extend my hand towards her. “Come with me.”

  She shakes her head. “I-I don’t… where are we?”

  I give her a sharp smile. “Welcome to America.”

  Tears spring to her eyes and her jaw drops. “W-We’re in America?”

  “Yeah, come on.”

  She looks like she’s about to jump into my arms in excitement, but then she remembers her life. Her eyes narrow and her mouth screws up in apprehension. “Why am I here?” Her blonde hair, which I’m betting usually shines and looks like silk, is filled with dirt and grime as she uses the waves of her tresses to shield herself from me. She uses it as a protection, although all it does is make her more stunning. Stunning and broken. Her small, long limbs make her seem childlike, but the curves I noticed as I hauled her into the van made me second guess myself.

  Who are you?

  I glance over my shoulder and see everyone standing and staring at us. “Look, you might have a lot of questions, but so do I. Why don’t you get out of this van right now and we can deal with the questions later? Unless you want to keep being stared at from the group of pissed of guys behind me.” I lift my eyebrows and I watch as she frowns, looking over my shoulder and getting a terrified look on her face.

  She turns to look at me, biting her lip to death. She looks like she’s going to chew her way through it, then she releases it with a swipe of her tongue. Her lip is wet, plump, and a perfect deep red. Fucking kissable lips.

  Shit. Fucking idiot.

  The thought disgusts me when I see the purple bruises and marks on her face and down her neck. Her shirt and pants cover her body, but I don’t doubt the rest of her isn’t covered as well. I mean seriously, who thinks like that when the rest of her body is purple? I’m going to fucking hell.

  “Are you going to hurt me?” She whispers. Her words echo through the large, empty van, ping ponging off walls and landing into the pit of my stomach. Her words make me pause, sadness and pity for her cooling me to the bones. But my anger is worse, burning me from the inside out.

  I pull a cigarette out of my pocket and light it up just to keep my cool. “Maybe.” I flash her a set of sharp teeth and almost choke when she starts panicking. “But not in the way that you think. I’m not a good guy, not even close. But I’m not Santiago. Don’t think about grouping me in with that sick fuck again, you feel me?” I bark out at her and watch as she nods slowly. “I won’t be so fucking forgiving next time.” Lifting my hand, I wait for her to grab it. “Now come on, I’m losing my damn patience.”

  She stalls for a moment, then lifts the child in her arms and crawls towards me, placing her tiny hand in mine. It’s dirty, but somehow still perfect.

  Her fingers meld into my palm. My hand heats as she clutches to me, like she’s begging for me to be her savior. Like I’m her lifeline. I swallow the regret of bringing her into my life as I pull her from the truck. She’s wobbly as her feet touch the ground, a newborn doe testing out the new land.

  “Come on.” I pull her towards the house, ignoring the group of questioning men behind me.

  The little baby fusses, and I furrow my eyebrows as I watch the girl calm her down. I’m curious, but she’s not my problem and I’m not in the position to make her my problem.

  It’s too fucking late for that; my mind tells me.

  We walk in through the main area which opens to the bar. I’d rather go this way then walk past the guys. Someone will say something smart and then I’ll end up hitting the fuck out of them, and these girls will be even more frightened of me.

  Haley is wiping off the counters as we enter, and when she notices me she looks at me with a smile, relief that I’m back safe. When she sees the two girls behind me, her eyes widen into saucers. I cut her a look and she looks down quickly, continuing on with cleaning the bar.

  I can feel the tremor in this girl’s hand. I give it a small squeeze and pull her towards the back hallway that leads to a set of stairs. Upstairs holds some spare rooms and a couple bathrooms. My pops and I have our own bedrooms and attached bathrooms. I have my own house about one mile away from here, completely secluded and a place to be alone. But there’s no way in hell that I’ll bring this girl there. She’s not an accomplice to Santiago, that much I know. But it doesn’t mean she will be an ally to us. I don’t know where she came from, and until I know, I’ll have to hold her at arm’s length.

  We get to my room and I crack open the door, revealing walls filled with half-naked women on motorcycles and unlimited posters of beer bottles and marijuana quotes. All of these are from when I was a teenager, but suddenly, her seeing all of this, I couldn’t feel more juvenile than I do now.

  “Nice… room.” She whispers.

  “Why do you keep whispering?” I walk into the room and start taking the shit off the walls. A little kid doesn’t need to look at bare ass and tits all day, even if they are fucking phenomenal.

  She shrugs, looking around like she’s never seen a room before. “I’m just…” She looks out the window, and so many emotions play in her eyes I can barely make one out from the next. “Why am I here?”

  I don’t know how to answer that, so I ask her one of my own. “What’s your name?”

  She licks her lips, debating if she wants to tell me or not. She stares at me directly in the eyes, so strongly that her gaze is almost painful. “Ivy.”

  I narrow my eyes. “Ivy? Is that a made-up name you made on the fly?”

  She narrows her eyes back at me. “No.”

  “Okay, Ivy. What’s your last name?”

  She blanches. “I don’t have one.” Her gaze goes to the wall behind me, staring at it.

  I look over my shoulder. Nothing is there. “What do you mean you don’t have one?”

  She looks behind me at the door, like she’s going to bolt any second. I take a step to the left to block her exit. �
�Okay, touchy subject.”

  Her gaze falls back to the wall behind me.

  “What’re you looking at?” I frown. She’s acting fucking weird.

  She shakes her head as if shaking out the thoughts scrambling her brain. “What is your name?” Her voice is soft as she adjusts the now sleepy child on her shoulder.

  “Aziel.”

  She lifts her eyebrow.

  “What?” I bark. Is she judging me?

  She adjusts the baby again, and I figure the question has been hanging in the air long enough. “Is this your sister?”

  She shakes her head and averts her eyes.

  “She’s yours?”

  She nods her head, keeping her eyes on the floor.

  “Mommy, I’m tired.” She lifts her head and rubs her eyes.

  Those words hit my stomach in a way I didn’t think they would.

  “What’s your name, kid?” I ask the baby.

  She looks at me then hides in her mom’s neck and starts crying. “Mommy.”

  Super smooth.

  “Hey, I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” I step back and scratch my beard. Should I leave? Should I stay? I have no fucking clue how to act around children. I don’t think I’ve been around one a day in my life.

  She pokes her head up and looks at me.

  “Hey.” I smile at her. She’s cute. Tanned, curly dark brown hair. Warm blue eyes. Same blue eyes as her mom, completely different hair.

  I wonder who the father is.

  “Hi.” The kid says softly, still shy as she grabs onto her mom’s hair and pulls it in front of her face.

  “I’m Aziel. What’s your name?”

  “Lilah.”

  “Cool name. Like the flower?” I lift my eyebrows, trying to sound excited. That’s what kids like, right? Excited things.

  “I think you mean lilac.” Ivy cracks a smile in my direction. The first smile I’ve seen out of her, and it’s breathtaking. A dimple pops in one of her cheeks. Only one. Her lips plump up as she fixes them in a smirk. For just a moment, then it smooths out as her face straightens out.

  “Yeah, yeah. My bad. Well, you’ve got a cool name anyway. I think it’s the coolest name I’ve ever heard.”

  Lilah smiles at that, two dimples popping out in her cheeks.

  A beat of silence stretches into two, and then I start to feel her discomfort. “Okay, well there’s a shower right through there.” I point to the bathroom off to the right. “Go ahead and take a shower… and, yeah. Do whatever you guys need to do. I’ll stop back in a while.”

  I turn to leave.

  “Wait.” Ivy’s urgency stops me.

  “What?” I turn around, waiting for something. Waiting for what?

  “Why am I staying here? I have a lot of questions… none that seem to be getting answered. Then you just shove me in this teenage boy room in this strange building and expect me to take a shower. Why? What’s going on?” Even as she says the words, I see her eyes spark with fear and hesitation, like she’s afraid of the own words coming out of my mouth.

  But I can’t help the smirk that lifts my lips even with the look in her eyes. Maybe she does have a little spunk in her after all. She seemed so meek, quiet, and beaten. Her back and forth behaviors are starting to give me whiplash.

  Crossing my arms across my chest, I ask, “What questions do you have?”

  “Where are we?” She questions.

  “America.”

  She rolls her eyes, but stops midway through the roll, looking almost nervous. Scared. “Where?” She presses, and I can see the urgency, so I let up.

  “California.”

  She pauses, gazing out the window for a beat. “I’ve never been to California…” She fades out for a moment, then looks at me. “What is this place?”

  I run my tongue across my teeth as I try to decide on how much to tell her. If I plan to keep her here a while, she’s going to find out at some point. But if I want to get some answers from her, see if I can learn some things about Santiago, I should maybe keep some information under wraps. She might be on Santiago’s side. Even though a part of me doesn’t think that’s true. She’s beaten and bruised, there’s no possible way she’s an associate of Santiago’s, right?

  “We’re at… we’re at my clubhouse.”

  “Clubhouse…” She quiets, seemingly falling into a memory. “Are you in a gang?”

  I bark out a laugh. “No. I’m not in a gang.”

  “Well, what is it? I’ve seen enough gangs before. You guys all wear leather vests… and you don’t seem like matching type of guys.”

  I smile. “They’re called cuts, and I’m not in a gang. Anything else?”

  “Why did you bring me here? Where are the rest of the girls? Are you going to hurt me or something?”

  Ding, ding. There’s the big question.

  “I brought you here because I think you can help us.” She gets a fearful look in her eye, and I raise up my hand. “It’s for another day. Today, you and Lilah need to take a shower and go to sleep. It’s been a hell of a day, and I’m not really into the interrogation mood. And as for the other girls… they’re safe.” I turn to move, when she stops me again.

  “Aziel.”

  I grind my teeth together, melody her voice saying my name turns something inside of me. My stomach jumps to my chest and flops back down, upside down. A shitty pancake flip is what it is.

  “Thank you… for rescuing us.” She says softly, tears glossing up her eyes.

  “Rescuing you?” I walk up to her, standing only a breath of air away. In her space, I watch as emotions flit through her eyes with ever blink.

  Blink.

  Worry.

  Blink.

  Fear.

  Blink.

  Regret.

  Blink.

  Hope.

  I glance from her, to the kid, and back to her. “My biggest question that’s been playing through my mind all day is why were you there? We took a ton of girls out of some jail-like cell. A fucked up place that I wouldn’t put a dead body. But you weren’t there. You weren’t even close to being around there. You weren’t dressed like them. In those… fucking sheets or whatever the fuck they wear. You were dressed normally. Who are you, Ivy? And what were you doing on Santiago’s compound?”

  With each word, I can see that she closes in on herself. Every layer folds together and she shuts down. With my last words, she’s a closed book. I can’t even read a word. She’s looking at me, but she’s not even close to looking at me.

  She adjusts Lilah in her arms and looks at me with a fake smile. “Now that I think of it, I am kind of tired. Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’m going to take a shower and crash. Lilah is about to fall asleep.”

  She’s right about something. Lilah does look like she’s about to knock out, but in no way does Ivy look tired. She looks wired, and I know why.

  She’s going to bolt.

  The fear flickers in her gaze again, and she opens her mouth like she wants to say something else, but then clams shut. When she opens her mouth again, the words pour out. “I’m sorry for asking questions. It wasn’t my place to speak. Please forgive me.” The hands gripping Lilah tremor as her gaze fades off behind me to the damn spot on the wall again.

  I narrow my eyes at her. “Wasn’t your place to speak? What, you can’t ask questions?”

  Her lips are pressed so tightly the rosy red color has turned a pale white. I figure she’s used up her words… or questions, or whatever.

  Irritation fills my chest as I take a step away from her. “All right. Towels are in the bathroom. Take whatever clothes you need from the dresser. I’ll be back to check on you later.”

  She’s already shaking her head by the end of my sentence. “No. Don’t worry about it. I’ll probably be asleep within ten minutes. I’ll… see you tomorrow or something.”

  I lift my eyebrows, not believing her pile of bullshit for a minute, but going along for the ride.

  “Yeah,
okay. See you later. You need anything, ask. All right?”

  “Okay.” She’s already turned and headed for the bathroom. I watch as she shuts the door, giving me one last glance before the door clicks shut and click again when the door locks.

  After a beat, I walk out, shutting the door behind me. I make sure to text Charlie to get his ass up here and guard the door all night.

  She’s going to be a runner.

  But I’m not going to let her go.

  8

  Ivy

  “Mommy, I want to go home.” Lilah whimpers in my arms.

  Go home?

  I don’t.

  Aziel was right, it’s been an incredibly long day. I’m surprised Lilah has lasted this long without losing her shit. But it’s happening now, and honestly, I’m right behind her.

  “Mommy, I want to go home!” She slaps her tiny palm on my shoulder, and I want to scream.

  “Lilah, stop. We’re not going home. Please, stop. If you’re quiet, we’ll go to a new home, okay? One that’s really fun and we can do whatever we want. How does that sound?”

  “I’m tired, Mommy.” She doesn’t care for my ideas. She’s too far gone into her exhaustion.

  “Okay, but please be quiet. Can you do that for Mommy? I promise we’ll go to sleep soon.”

  “Okay.” She sniffles against my shoulder.

  “Okay.” I repeat, and then as quietly as possible, go to open the door.

  If all is well, I can hopefully sneak out of here without any issue. I’ll make a dash and we can sleep outside tonight. I’ll treck back to Ohio. I don’t know how.

  I don’t know.

  All I do know is I’m not going to find myself trapped in another hell or prison I can’t escape from. It’s time to be free.

  Free.

  I nearly start sobbing at the thought, but with a deep breath, I tip toe across the bedroom that reminds me of a teenage boy. It smells like one, too. The good kind, The rough kind.

  Aziel.

  He’s not at all what I imagined. Rough around the edges, that one I figured. But there’s a lot more to him than I thought. He was sweet to Lilah, which was my first surprise. He’s important here, that much is obvious. There’s a lot to uncover about Aziel, and in another lifetime, I would take the time to peel back each layer. But I don’t have another second to waste in my life.