A Bride of Convenience

by Jody Hedlund

  nineteen

  At each bump of the sled, the hammer in Zoe’s head pounded louder.

  “It’s not far now,” Abe said from ahead. Outlined by the setting sun, he was a giant in his thick coat, hat, and snowshoes. With the reins wrapped over his shoulder and around his arm, he seemed to tug the sled effortlessly through the powdery snow. But the labored puffs of white he expelled told her the trek was difficult.

  He’d cushioned her with blankets so that she was as comfortable as possible. Though the path was mostly smooth, the movement still hurt her head. Even so, she marveled at the view. The entrance of the Fraser River Canyon was spectacular with the river cutting through the mountains, forming high cliffs on both sides framed by evergreens, which had all looked the same to her until Abe showed her how to differentiate between lodgepole pine, white spruce, and Douglas fir. With the fresh coating of snow, the green was vibrant, especially with the reflection of the sun’s last rays.

  The trail wound above the river so that she could hear the rushing water below even when the thick forest obscured the view. With the stillness of the snow covering boulders and branches and only the swish of the sled and the soft thump of Abe’s footsteps, she could almost believe the rest of civilization had disappeared.

  “Here we are,” Abe said as they came through a stand of white spruce to a rocky area of steeply cut cliffs. He dropped the reins and pushed aside more thick spruce growth to reveal the mouth of a cave.

  She tossed aside the blankets and began to rise. Abe was at her side in an instant, assisting her to her feet. A wave of dizziness threw her off balance, but Abe took her arm and steadied her. “Hang in there.” He led her to the dark opening. “It’s just a short walk from here.”

  She held back. “We’re going into the cave?”

  “You’ve nothing to fear.” He’d slung the blankets and his bag over his shoulder and held a lantern ahead of them.

  “What about all the bears, coyotes, and wolves?” Over the past two weeks of her getting to know Will, the young boy had shared every gruesome story he’d ever heard about the predators that lived in the mountains.

  “There aren’t any here.”

  “How can you be sure?”

  “This is a busy place, and the wild animals stay away.”

  “It doesn’t look busy to me.” In fact, it appeared deserted.

  “That’s because with all the new snow, everyone is hibernating away today.” He ducked into the cave, his light illuminating a barren rock tunnel.

  Still she hesitated.

  He stretched out a hand, beckoning her. “Come on. I promise you’ll love it.” His eyes, his expression, everything about him was trustworthy.

  She placed her mittened hand into his. Through the layers, his fingers folded around hers, strong and secure, and she allowed him to lead her deeper into the tunnel, the lantern revealing bumpy reddish rock all around. The cold air gave way to warm humidity until steam wafted ahead, obscuring the way.

  “Where are we?” she asked as the warmth bathed her face.

  “You’ll see.” A hint of excitement laced his voice.

  A moment later, the tunnel opened into a wide cave with a steaming pool at the center. Water dripped from the roof and trickled from the walls into the dark glassy surface.

  Abe released her hand and placed the blankets and his bag onto a dry ledge that held what appeared to be discarded or forgotten items of clothing and towels. He took off his mittens and hat, placing them on the ledge, nodding at her to do the same.

  With the warmth of the cave, she needed no further prodding to divest not only her mittens, but her coat. As she took off the items, she stared at the strange pool, the rock formations above it, and a tunnel filled with water that branched off the opposite side.

  “This is a hot spring,” he said, answering her unasked question. “The mineral water is always seeping down into the pool with fresh hot water.”

  “How is that possible?”

  “No one knows for sure. But apparently the natives who came up into the canyon to fish for salmon and pick huckleberries found the pool. They guided the first prospectors here. And we’ve been using it ever since.”

  She bent and swirled her hand in the water. The warmth was delicious and sent a tremor of longing through her. “Can I dip my toes in?” The request was bold, but she didn’t care. She wanted to soak her feet in the pool.

  “You can do more than dip your toes. You can sit in it.”

  She glanced down at her skirt. She would be cold on the ride home if she got her clothing wet. But perhaps the discomfort would be worth it.

  “Doctor’s orders.” He cast aside his boots and began to tug off his socks. “He said the mineral waters can soothe all manner of aches and pains, might even be able to ease the ache in your head.”

  She followed his example and started taking off her boots. “Have you been in before?”

  “A time or two.” He shed his waistcoat, letting it fall to the cave floor with his socks. “But not oft enough.”

  She placed her boots neatly together on the shelf before attempting to roll her first stocking down without lifting her hem and exposing her legs. Abe was always asleep in the morning when she arose and dressed, and he stepped out every evening to allow her the privacy of donning her nightdress. She appreciated his courtesy and knew she couldn’t be a prude now about showing her feet and ankles.

  As she placed the first stocking into the boot for safekeeping, she flustered at the sight of him peeling off his shirt. She hadn’t seen him shirtless since the first morning after their wedding. She turned away and busied herself with rolling off her next stocking. But her curiosity got the better of her, and she peeked sideways to find that he’d dropped his suspenders and was in the process of kicking his trousers off.

  Her face flamed at the sight of his long bare legs and broad chest. He was practically naked, except for his drawers.

  She averted her eyes and then froze. Did he expect her to take off her outer garments before getting into the hot spring? “I think I’ll keep on my skirt and shirt.”

  “You can’t.” Splashing sounded behind her, the sign he was getting in.

  “Sure I can.”

  “You can’t ride home with wet clothes,” he stated matter-of-factly. “It’s too cold today, and you’ll freeze even with the blankets covering you.”

  She waited to turn, hopefully giving him enough time to submerge.

  “Don’t worry, Zoe. If someone else decides to come, we’ll hear them entering, and I’ll be sure to have them wait until you’re properly attired.”

  She wasn’t worried about others so much as she was him. But she couldn’t tell that to Abe.

  “I packed an extra set of unmentionables for both of us to change into when we’re done.” His voice contained a hint of embarrassment at his admission.

  At the splashing of more water, she guessed he’d lowered himself. If Abe was willing to bare himself, then why shouldn’t she? After all, once she was in the pool, the water would cover her from view.

  Tugging off her second stocking, she forced away her reservations. She wanted to get in and feel the warm water too much to let her anxiety over her state of undress hold her back. After all, Abe was her husband, and there was nothing indecent about stripping down to her undergarments in front of him. Certainly he could have asked her for more by now if he’d had any desire for her.

  She’d come to the conclusion that he had no plans to take advantage of his marital rights. At first she’d been relieved. But another part of her was confused by his distance. Maybe he didn’t find her desirable enough. Or was he still in love with Lizzy? Perhaps thoughts of the gentlewoman filled his dreams.

  Whatever the case, he’d been chaste, even brotherly in all his interactions with her. And she had nothing to worry about now.

  Straightening her shoulders with fresh resolve, she spun and faced him. He was reclining in the pool but wasn’t completely covered. In fact,
most of his chest was above water and drew her attention, every sculpted muscle and every hard contour.

  Flustered again, she motioned at him. “Turn around.”

  His brows lifted.

  “You must face the other way until I get in.”

  His eyes widened, and he scrambled to follow her instructions as if he’d only just thought about her need to undress. Once she was certain he was facing away and wouldn’t turn around, she shed her skirt and blouse so that she stood in only her drawers and chemise.

  The warm steam rising off the water touched her bare skin, beckoning her. She dipped her foot in, swished it, and smiled at the delight of the warmth. ’Course she’d washed in the tubs in public bathhouses. But she’d never had hot water.

  “Are you in?” He still stared at the opposite cave wall.

  “Almost.”

  She lowered herself to the edge and submerged both feet. The water went up to her knees and the lacy edge of her drawers. The warmth was so glorious that she pushed off and sank down into the pool, nearly moaning her pleasure.

  “Ready?” Abe asked again.

  She lowered herself even farther so the water covered her chemise and reached her shoulders. “Aye. I’m in.”

  He whirled around. At the sight of her along with her smile, he grinned. “It’s heavenly, isn’t it?”

  “More than heavenly.”

  “And how is the aching in your head?”

  “Almost gone already.”

  “Then it’s a good thing you obeyed the doctor’s orders.”

  “Aye, and it’s a good thing I have a man strong enough to carry me out here.”

  “I’ve never thought of myself as particularly strong. But I guess my size is good for something after all.”

  “I suppose it is,” she teased. She wanted to drop her gaze again to his broad shoulders and bare chest, but she didn’t want him to think she was curious or interested in him as a man. Because she wasn’t.

  One little peek wouldn’t hurt, would it? Her gaze darted, taking in the wide span from shoulder to shoulder. As she lifted her eyes, she realized he’d caught her looking. As if in response, his sights dropped to her chest. Thankfully it was underwater. But as she glanced down to make sure, she realized the water was translucent and that he could see her chemise well enough.

  Strange warmth and embarrassment coursed through her. Before she could stop herself, she skimmed her hand along the surface and sent a spray his way.

  He blinked through the droplets running down his face, surprise widening his eyes.

  She was surprised at herself for splashing him, couldn’t believe she’d done something so childish. She waited for a rebuke or at the very least a frown of displeasure. The last thing she expected was for him to grin and send a splash right back.

  twenty

  Abe was going mad. Bringing Zoe to the hot spring had seemed like such a good idea. He’d thought he was doing something nice, attempting to be kind and sacrificial like Christ. But now that they were in the pool, he knew he’d made a big mistake. The merest sight of her in her chemise and drawers was much too enticing.

  Of course, he was trying his hardest not to let his gaze stray to her body, which was mostly shielded by the water. But he couldn’t stop himself, especially every time her attention drifted to his chest.

  Her curiosity only added fuel to his already overheated insides and burned through the wall of reserve he’d tried to build. Especially now that she was thoroughly soaked after their water fight.

  He’d hoped the splashing would distract him and cool him off. But now with water dribbling from her hair, off her nose, and down her lips, she was even more beautiful than before, and he could think of little else but the fact that they were alone.

  “Are you giving up?” she asked as she threatened to send another wave at him.

  “I must.” He wiped away the water that cascaded from his face. “I’m not nearly as fast and admit my defeat.”

  “Very well. Then as the winner, I should get a prize, shouldn’t I?” She stretched back into the water, floating so that he caught a glimpse of her legs—exquisitely lovely legs, pale and slender with delicate feet.

  With great difficulty, he tried to focus on what she was saying. “A prize? Of course. You may ask for anything you wish.”

  She sat up, her upper body surfacing. “Anything? Are you sure?”

  “Anything.”

  She pushed away from the ledge and floated, growing more daring, clearly enjoying herself in the water. And clearly having no inkling of the effect she was having on him. “Then I make you responsible for changing Violet’s napkin the next time she’s smelly.”

  He glimpsed her feet again and her bare arms. Her skin was pale and smooth, and all he wanted to do was touch her. It was sweet torture to realize she might be his wife, and yet she wasn’t his in heart and soul—the things that really mattered.

  “Do you agree to my reward?” She reached the area diagonal from him and dipped back down, submerging her body.

  He wrenched his attention back to his hands and began swishing water back and forth in front of him.

  “Do you?” she persisted.

  “Do I what?”

  “Agree to changing Violet’s napkin?”

  “What?” His gaze was drawn back to her, irresistibly. She was smiling, the dimples in her cheeks making an appearance as they did whenever she jested.

  “You weren’t listening to me, were you?”

  “I admit to being distracted. I’m not accustomed to soaking in the hot spring with a beautiful woman.”

  Her smile turned more impish. “Flattery won’t work.”

  “It won’t?” He still had no idea what she was talking about.

  “Flattery only works if it’s true.”

  “It is true. You’re beautiful. More than anyone else.” His voice came out more earnest than he’d intended.

  She paused in the middle of kicking her feet to examine his face.

  Embarrassment rushed through him, and he wanted to sink down into the water and hide himself. Why was he speaking to her so freely? Was he so enamored that he was losing all self-control?

  It wasn’t right that he should focus on her appearance and the wanting that came with it. Dwelling on those kinds of thoughts only led to lust. He knew that well enough from the lust he’d experienced with Wanda.

  He swam to the opposite side of the pool, putting a safe distance between them, and attempted to shift the conversation. For a while, he told her of the legends that came with the hot spring, the stories of healing, and even the tales of people supposedly coming back from the dead. They talked about how such a natural wonder had formed and speculated over why God had created it, and he was amazed as he always was by how easy she was to talk to about such matters.

  She released a contented sigh. “As much as I’d love to stay here all night, I promised Will we wouldn’t be gone long.”

  The boy had eagerly agreed to watch Violet during the outing. But even though he was responsible enough at twelve years of age and had been practically living on his own the past couple of years, he didn’t need to shoulder the care of the baby longer than necessary.

  Using the last of his reserves of self-control, Abe kept himself turned around while Zoe got out, dried off, and changed back into her clothing. When she was done, she gave him the same courtesy, attempting to towel dry her hair while he dressed, although her efforts distracted and slowed him down so that she finally glanced at him over her shoulder.

  “Aren’t you finished yet?”

  He’d already yanked up the dry pair of underdrawers and was in the process of tugging up his trousers. He jerked at the corduroy, but it stuck to his still-damp legs. “You’re peeking.”

  “Just checking to see if you need my help.”

  The very notion of having her assistance sent a sizzle of anticipation skittering over his wet skin.

  She smiled at him too innocently. “Especially since so
metimes you get your trousers and shirts mixed up.”

  He looked down to double-check his attire and was relieved he wasn’t making a fool of himself. “It appears I’m doing fine this time.”

  She twisted around and faced the cave wall again. “Just make sure to put your socks on before your shoes.”

  At the humor in her voice, he chuckled. “I can’t help it. Your beauty distracts me.” As soon as the words were out, he was tempted to pound his head with his hand. Why had he taken to gushing over her appearance? Again.

  “Oh, I see. So your inability to dress yourself is my fault?”

  Was she teasing him? He hoped so. “I could never blame you for anything.”

  “Not even for our marriage?” she asked lightly, but something in her tone told him she meant the question.

  He finished tugging up his trousers and then reached for his shirt. Yes, even though he’d never anticipated that he’d return from Victoria with a wife and child, he didn’t blame Zoe. If anything, he blamed himself. “I take full responsibility. I reacted to the letter from Lizzy telling me she’d gotten married. I suppose I wanted to prove to myself that it didn’t matter.”

  “But it did. And it still does.” She’d turned again and was watching him with solemn eyes.

  He paused, one arm in his shirt. “I’m trying to forgive her. But I admit, it’s not easy.”

  “What was she like?”

  He wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about Lizzy. Even if his wounds were healing, the rejection stung and made him feel inadequate, as if somehow he hadn’t been enough, maybe still wasn’t enough. And yet, Zoe deserved to know the truth about his past, didn’t she?

  As he finished dressing, he told her about his loneliness growing up, how his siblings had been so much older, how his parents had spared him little time, how Lizzy’s father had been the rector and lived nearby. Her family had welcomed him into their midst, and Lizzy had become his closest friend. Her father and his sincere faith had influenced Abe’s decision to become a rector himself.

  “What about you?” Abe said as they left the cave and headed down the path. “Surely you had a sweetheart back home.”