A Bride of Convenience

by Jody Hedlund

  Darkness had settled and shrouded the woods, faintly lit by the lantern he used to guide their way. The beams of light touched Zoe bundled in the blankets on the sled but didn’t reveal her expression.

  “Jeremiah wanted to marry me,” she admitted.

  “Jeremiah?” Just hearing the name turned his insides. “What kind of fellow was he?”

  “He was a good man, a hard worker, and he loved me.”

  Abe winced at the revelation that another man had loved Zoe. He shouldn’t be surprised by the news. In fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if a dozen men had loved her. Nevertheless, he didn’t like the idea of her being with someone else, specifically a good man like Jeremiah. “Did you love him too?”

  “I never gave him a chance.”

  Did her voice hold regret? “Do you wish you’d stayed to marry him?”

  “No. I needed to leave. Needed to get away from Meg before she dragged me into her ways. And needed to get away from my father.”

  “Then you didn’t get along with him?”

  She was silent, and the swish of the sled in the snow along with the crunch of his footsteps echoed in the quiet of the night.

  “I think he partly blamed me for Mum’s death.”

  “How so?”

  “One time he told me if I’d taken her place in the mill earlier, she wouldn’t have gotten mill fever.”

  Abe had heard of the illness that afflicted mill workers. Some blamed the poor ventilation in the factories. Others believed the disease came about because of the long work hours. Many claimed it was just another form of consumption and could be cured with proper rest.

  “Your father was wrong to put that burden on you.”

  “Aye. After Mum’s death, he lost every ounce of kindness, and his drinking took a turn for the worse. And once he no longer had Zeke around to punish, he decided to take out his anger on me and Meg.”

  Abe stumbled to a halt in the snow and pivoted to give Zoe his full attention, his heart suddenly pounding hard. “Did he hurt you?”

  “Not often. But I got tired of his bullying.”

  “So you decided to leave?”

  “With my wee niece gone, I had no more reason to stay.”

  He nodded, finally beginning to understand the heartache lurking within her as well as her desire to protect Violet from Herman’s neglect.

  “I’m glad you came.” He resumed his pulling, which was easier on the way back since they were moving gradually downhill.

  “You don’t have to say that. I know Violet and me are a burden you didn’t ask for.”

  “I mean it. I’m glad you got away from your father.” He was more than glad. In fact, he was surprised by the depth of his relief. “And maybe I didn’t ask for all this, but I think we’re getting along, don’t you?”

  “Aye. You’re a good and kind man, Abe. I doubt there’s anyone who wouldn’t be able to get along with you.”

  When they reached the cabin, she stumbled in her effort to stand, the blankets tangling her legs. With a new courage he hadn’t known he possessed, he scooped her up and carried her to the door. When she didn’t protest his hold, he gathered more courage.

  Her warm breath hovered near his neck, making him all too aware of her closeness and the softness of her body. His mind returned to the hot spring, to the picture of her dripping wet. And his pulse reacted by sputtering forward at double speed.

  As he reached the door, he hesitated.

  “Thank you for taking me to the hot spring,” she whispered.

  He was suddenly sharply aware of her mouth near his cheek, only inches away. All he had to do was turn his head just a little and he could kiss her.

  Did he want to kiss her? He’d tried not to think about sharing such intimacies with her. Doing so only undermined his self-control. But at the moment, with her lips so near, he could think of little else but bending in and tasting her. Just one tiny taste. Surely it wouldn’t hurt him. Or them.

  Before he could make up his mind, she stretched up and pressed a gentle kiss against his cheek. Her lips were every bit as warm and soft as he’d imagined, but the briefness of the kiss was amiable and sweet, certainly not at all passionate or inviting of more.

  Not that he wanted her to invite more—did he?

  He hesitated a moment longer and was spared from answering his own question by Will’s throwing the door open wide and greeting them with Violet cooing happily in his arms.

  twenty-one

  Violet’s giggles filled the air and Zoe’s heart as she bounced the infant on her lap.

  With his feet propped on a crate near the stove, Abe paused in reading aloud from Pilgrim’s Progress, one of his few novels. He turned his attention to the babe.

  “She’s happy you’re home tonight,” Zoe announced.

  “Is that right?”

  “Aye.” Zoe held on to Violet’s hands curled within hers. The little girl had begun to gain strength and weight, rolling over, pushing up on her arms, as well as sitting up with some support from Zoe. The babe babbled as if in agreement.

  “I should be home more oft this week ahead,” Abe said, his tone apologetic.

  Zoe didn’t respond. Instead, she clapped Violet’s hands together, earning another giggle from the infant. In the month Zoe had lived in Yale, she could count on two hands the number of evenings Abe had been home. Between his travels to nearby mining towns and his busyness when he was home, she’d learned he took his calling as a minister very seriously.

  She admired him for his dedication to his work and his love for the people he served. She couldn’t fault him. But she had to admit, she wished for more time with him, especially since their evening at the hot spring a week ago. The time together had been fun. He’d been sweet and attentive. And she craved more. More time like that. More of him.

  With a rare evening home without any visitors, save Will, who was sprawled out on the bed listening to the story, Zoe didn’t want to say anything that would ruin the mood or their time together, so she bit back her complaint.

  “Don’t you worry, Pastor Abe.” Will curled his arms behind his head and settled in more comfortably. “I’m taking real good care of Zoe and Violet whenever you’re gone.”

  “I know you are.” Abe reached over and ruffled the boy’s hair, which he’d finally allowed Zoe to cut. “I appreciate it.”

  Zoe appreciated Will’s company too. He’d taken to sleeping in front of the stove whenever Abe was gone, keeping the wood burning, drawing water from the well, and even fetching more goat’s milk from a nearby farm for Violet when the supply ran low.

  “You know you can stay here anytime you want to,” Zoe added. “And not just when Abe’s away.”

  Will shrugged. “If’n I do, then Abe won’t have no place to sleep.”

  The boy hadn’t questioned her and Abe’s sleeping arrangements, not even now that Violet was sleeping most of the night through in her own baby bed, which Little Joe had crafted and delivered earlier in the week. With the space available, she’d expected Will to ask why Abe didn’t move up next to her.

  As much as she tried to remind herself of her resolve to keep their marriage one of convenience, a part of her heart betrayed her with the desire for more. The longer she was with Abe and the better she got to know him, the more she liked him. There were so many things to like. And every time he was around, she discovered additional qualities to admire.

  For instance, earlier in the evening when he returned from his trip downriver to the town of Hope, he’d not only greeted her with a welcoming smile, but he’d gone over to Violet, picked her up, and held her while Zoe finished preparing supper. She hadn’t needed to ask for his assistance. He’d interacted with the babe as if he’d missed her during his absence.

  She supposed some good had come out of her headache in that Abe had learned he was capable of holding and taking care of Violet and that he had nothing to fear from the infant. ’Course Zoe didn’t expect him to tend to Violet, since she’d been the
one to insist on keeping the babe. But she liked seeing a man being tender with children, the way her teacher Mr. Lightness had always been with his own children when they’d visited him.

  “Yes.” Abe settled back into his chair and repositioned the glasses he wore whenever he read. “You’re always welcome to stay here, Will.”

  “There ain’t enough room on the floor for two,” Will said. “And no offense, Pastor Abe. But I can see why Zoe’s making you sleep down there. You’re too big and would kick her to pieces.”

  “I’m not making him sleep on the floor,” Zoe blurted, but then immediately wished she could take back the words.

  “You’re not?” Will’s question echoed with surprise.

  “’Course not.” She fumbled to find another excuse for why Abe bedded down on the floor at night. “He likes sleeping there.”

  “Oh.” Will paused as if contemplating this new revelation. “Don’t think it would be comfortable for a man like Pastor Abe. But acourse, I’m just a boy. What do I know?”

  “Actually, it’s not so comfortable,” Abe remarked. “And I’m not particularly fond of it.”

  Will sat up. “Guess you’re wrong, Zoe. Pastor Abe said he don’t like sleeping on the floor after all.”

  “Aye, Will. I have two good ears. I heard him for myself.”

  The boy grinned with excitement. “If’n you’re not making Pastor Abe sleep on the floor, and if’n he don’t like sleeping there, then I guess he can jump on in the bed with you from now on and that’ll leave me a spot.”

  Zoe opened her mouth to protest but realized anything she said would be entirely selfish. If Abe didn’t like sleeping on the floor, then he deserved to enjoy the comfort of the bed, didn’t he? And if Will wanted to move in with them rather than live in the lonely loft at the livery, how could she deny him the opportunity? Even if Mr. Barton was nice enough to give Will work and a place to sleep, the boy would benefit from a real home.

  “That settles it,” she said. “You can gather up your things and move in here.”

  “Really?” He perched on his knees and glanced at Abe. “I promise I won’t be no trouble.”

  Belatedly Zoe realized she hadn’t asked Abe before issuing the invitation. Thankfully, he was already nodding at the boy. “That’s fine with me, Will. Maybe we can make you a mattress of sorts that you can put out at night.”

  “I have leftover material from the tablecloth,” Zoe said. “I think I can come up with a pallet.”

  Will’s grin spread, but before they could discuss the matter any further, a pounding on the door interrupted them. Abe answered the call and spoke to the visitor for only a minute before he turned back inside and began to don his coat, his expression grave.

  “What’s wrong?” Zoe stood and settled Violet on her hip. Over the past month, she’d gotten to know Abe’s neighbors and others in the town. They’d been friendly to her, accepting her as the minister’s wife and offering her the same respect that they showed him—even though she wasn’t a gentlewoman.

  “There’s a fire over in Shantytown. I’m going to help keep it from spreading.”

  “I’ll come.”

  Abe shook his head. “It’s too dangerous.”

  “I’ll stay away from the fire.” She handed Violet to Will, who took the babe without question.

  “No, Zoe.” Abe thrust his foot into a boot. “It’s dangerous in other ways besides the fire. I don’t want you to go anywhere near that area.”

  “I’ve visited before and never had any problems.”

  He paused, the second boot halfway on. His brows came together in a rare scowl.

  She jutted her chin. “It’s not half as bad as where I lived in Manchester.”

  He watched her as if contemplating her revelation. Then he resumed wiggling his foot into his boot. “Thank the Lord you’re safe now. And I plan to keep you that way—”

  “I want to help.” She didn’t care that her tone was stubborn. He was always leaving her behind while he went off to take care of hurting people. Why shouldn’t she go along? Why couldn’t she help too? She was perfectly capable. In fact, she’d been waiting for God to show her the next thing He wanted her to do. Surely taking care of Violet wasn’t all He had planned.

  “Zoe . . .” Abe pleaded, his tone and eyes soft and asking her to accept his decision without arguing.

  “I’ll stay out of the way,” she pleaded in return just as softly. “I just want to be there if any of the women and children need help.”

  His frown weakened, until finally he nodded. “Very well, but only if you promise to stay well away from the trouble.”

  “I promise.”

  Flames leapt into the night sky above several burning shanties. A line of people wound down to the river, and buckets of water passed between them in a race to douse the fire before it spread to surrounding structures.

  Zoe approached a petite native woman who stood with a young boy on the fringes. Without cloaks or coats, they huddled together. From the sag of the woman’s shoulders, Zoe guessed the fire was destroying everything she owned.

  “Here.” Zoe thrust a blanket into the woman’s arms. “You can wrap up with this to keep warm.”

  The woman hesitated but then took the blanket, murmuring her thanks in stilted English.

  Zoe glanced to where the Hurdy Gurdy girls stood on the fringes. They wore made-up faces and fancy gowns. Thankfully none of them had been in their shack when the fire had started, had instead been performing onstage when they’d gotten word of the disaster destroying their home. Zoe had already spoken with each of the women, including Mila.

  A hunched man with a cane stood in the open doorway of a nearby pub. Behind him the warmth and brightness of the dining room seemed the only refuge on the cold night. Zoe guessed he was the proprietor of the business. From the gravity and concern lining his face, she could sense he was frustrated he couldn’t lend a hand to the water brigade.

  Perhaps he’d be able to help in another way. As ideas quickly formulated in Zoe’s mind, she crossed the street toward him.

  “I’m Mrs. Merivale, Pastor Abe’s wife. I’m here to assist you with distributing cool drinks to those attempting to fight the fire.”

  She was relieved when the older man, who introduced himself as Mr. Hemming, set about to do everything she asked of him, eager to be of service rather than standing back and watching helplessly. He assembled pails of both water and ale and put together an assortment of rolls, cheese, and dried salmon. Zoe enlisted the help of the Hurdy Gurdy girls in distributing the drink and food among those battling the fire while she moved among the growing number of people who’d lost homes in the blaze.

  Mr. Hemming offered more blankets for Zoe to give to anyone who needed warmth. And when she began to usher the injured into the dining room, he allowed them to push aside tables to make room for the physician to treat people.

  Zoe made the rounds tending the needs of those who’d gathered in the dining room. Only when she caught sight of Abe out of the corner of her eye did she finally pause and realize that the flames had been completely extinguished.

  As she wiped a sleeve across her perspiring forehead, her sights locked in on him, her heart pounding harder as she scanned him from his head to his feet. Other than the soot on his cheeks and forehead and a few singes in his coat, he was unscathed.

  He was searching, almost frantically, around the room until his gaze landed on her. Ignoring those around him and the clamor for his attention, he crossed directly to her, scrutinizing her as if somehow he’d expected that she might be hurt. “You’re unharmed?”

  “Aye. I stayed away like you told me to.”

  “Good.” His features relaxed only a little. “It’s getting late. I’ll walk you home and then come back.”

  “I’ll stay too. Mr. Hemming still needs my assistance.”

  “Are you sure?” His brow furrowed as he surveyed her again. “I don’t want you overtaxing yourself.”

  She lai
d a hand on his arm, wanting to reassure him. “I like being here and being useful, Abe. Please let me stay.”

  He nodded, then squeezed her arm in return before turning to answer a question from someone who’d approached him. As Abe began to mingle, Zoe’s heart swelled with satisfaction.

  Even though she was hot and tired, this serving with Abe had been energizing and fulfilling in a way she couldn’t explain. As she looked around at all the people in the dining room, she realized this was where she wanted to be. With him, ministering alongside him.

  If only he would realize that’s where she ought to be too.

  twenty-two

  The northern lights put on a show for them as they walked back to the cabin. Brilliant stripes of green, yellow, and purple blazed across the sky against the backdrop of a million stars.

  Even with so beautiful a display, Abe’s attention kept returning to Zoe. Though she’d stayed far away from the flames, somehow she’d still managed to get soot on her cheek, and he was growing more tempted with each passing moment to wipe it off simply so he’d have an excuse to touch her.

  He’d lost track of her during his efforts to extinguish the fire. Afterward when he hadn’t been able to find her outside where he’d instructed her to wait, he’d started to panic . . . until one of the men had said he’d seen her inside Hemming’s Pub helping with the relief efforts.

  After he found her and assured himself that she was just fine, his admiration had expanded until his chest had swelled with it. She’d done more than help. She’d taken charge and made sure everyone was well taken care of during the ordeal. Several times when he’d noticed she was yawning, he’d mentioned leaving. But she’d insisted on staying until he was ready to go.

  “It’s incredible.” She tilted her head back as she took in the expanse of sky overhead. “What causes northern lights?”

  Abe tried to corral his runaway thoughts of Zoe and focus on her question. “I’m not entirely sure.” He’d seen the magical display on several occasions since living in British Columbia, usually on clear, cold nights like this when he happened to be out much later than usual. “I’ve heard theories that the lights have to do with gas particles combining with magnetic fields.”