When I Needed You

by Tina Martin

  “Cool. Do I pay in advance or?”

  “Yes, you can pay now if you want to.”

  “Okay,” she says. “Let me get my card.”

  I log into my computer, enter her order and take her credit card information. I let her know when her order will be ready for pickup and now, it’s back to assisting Jamie with customers.

  * * *

  When I leave work, I stop off to grab some burgers and fries for dinner. It’ll be a working dinner for me. I have to order more supplies and determine what scents I want to experiment with for my fall selection of soy wax candles. Currently, I’m digging the sweet scents like vanilla, buttercream, cinnamon and chocolate.

  I need to order more soy wax for the special order I received today. If I order just enough inventory for that order specifically, I don’t have to use the inventory I already have in-house, especially since it’s already been allocated for my standard candles.

  When I pull up in the yard, I look for Cain because I know his hardheaded butt is out here somewhere doing something I didn’t tell him to do. And sure enough…

  He comes walking from the direction of the backyard, glistening like he’s been rolling around in an inflatable pool of massage oil. He’s not wearing a shirt and that body…

  My, my, my…

  My mouth fell open two minutes ago and I can’t seem to close it.

  What in the…?

  How does—?

  Where did—?

  Where did he get an eight-pack of abs and such a thick, chunky, delicious-looking set of pectorals?

  I knew he had a tattoo because I saw a part of it. Now, I can see it clearly. There’s a green tattoo covering his right pectoral in the shape of a Chinese dragon. Is my innocent Cain a bad boy?

  Who is this guy? This man walking toward my car is cut like steel and he ain’t got to play with no angles or nothing to get a perfect picture. Everything is just there, in my face like ta-da. Muscles, triceps, biceps…every kind of cep. Ceps on top of ceps. He surely doesn’t look homeless now. Well, technically he’s not anymore.

  When I’m able to remember how to breathe and stop drooling, I step out of the car with our food bags and ask, “What are you doing?”

  His lips lazily form a smile. “Good to see you too, Ahmalee.”

  I tried not to do it – I seriously did – but his chest is like right in my face so I look there and on down to his feet. He’s wearing sandals. His caramel skin is baked to golden perfection. He has sweat dripping from all directions. There’s even a ball of sweat hanging on his nipple like morning dew on a leaf.

  “What are you doing?” I ask him again.

  “Just hanging around.”

  My brows shoot up. “Hanging around?”

  “Yeah,” he replies. He looks amused.

  “You look like you need some water.”

  He chuckles. “There you go again. You just can’t help yourself, can you?”

  “What?”

  “Remember the discussion we had about me being a man and—”

  “Oh. Right. You’re right. Nevermind me.”

  He closes the car door.

  I say, “I got us some fast food for dinner. I have to get some work done, so I’m not going to have time to cook. You can come eat now if you want.”

  “Okay. Cool.”

  He takes the bags out of my hand and follows me up the steps. I unlock the door, leave my shoes at the entrance and take my purse to my bedroom. I meet him back in the kitchen with my laptop. He’s standing at the sink, washing his hands.

  I open my laptop then unwrap my sandwich. I glance up just in time to catch Cain’s frown after he takes a seat.

  “What?” I ask.

  He stands again, takes my laptop and set it on the counter by the sink.

  “What are you doing?”

  “You work nonstop. You can take fifteen minutes to eat, Ahmalee.”

  I don’t know whether to be pissed or impressed that he cares. I ask, “And what authority do you have to take my laptop away from me?”

  “None, but if you can give me the third degree for working hard, I should be able to reciprocate that.”

  “Okay. All right. You got a point. You’re right.”

  “Wait—what’d you say?”

  “I said, you’re right.”

  He brings his hands to a clap, looks heavenward and says, “May this day be forever etched in stone—the day a woman tells a man he’s right.”

  “Shut up, Cain,” I say and fling a fry at him.

  “How was your day?” he inquires.

  “It was okay. I got a special order for a wedding reception. There’s always work to do when you own a business.” I take a bite of my sandwich and look up at him. “What have you been doing today?”

  “I was pruning those trees in your backyard.”

  “I knew you were doing something illegal.”

  He chuckles. “How’s that illegal?”

  “Because I didn’t authorize you to do it.”

  “So, I broke one of Ahmalee’s many laws.”

  “Yep. You sure did.”

  “Okay. Punish me,” he says, then tosses a fry into his mouth, never taking his eyes off of me. He loves challenging me.

  I love being challenged.

  “Where’s your shirt?”

  He looks down at himself like he forgot he didn’t have one on. “I decided not to wear one today so I could tan evenly.”

  I shake my head.

  “What? You don’t like it, because I’ve noticed you had a hard time not looking.”

  Smiling inwardly, I respond, “That’s not true.”

  “Oh, it’s true.”

  “I’m curious. How does a person who’s been homeless for a year maintain such a dense muscle mass?”

  “Maybe I’m gifted.”

  Gifted. Oh, he’s gifted all right. Very gifted. And good-looking. And strong. And—

  “Ahmalee.”

  I blink quickly and look at him. “Yeah?”

  “What are you daydreaming about?”

  “Nothing. I wasn’t daydreaming. Um…how long have you had that tattoo?”

  “Since college. Do you have any?”

  “No, but I want to get one on my back. I was thinking about a design with a couple of hearts and my parents’ initials.”

  “That’ll be dope. You should do it.”

  “I heard it was painful.”

  “Some things are supposed to be painful. The beauty comes after the pain.”

  I wonder if he really believes that, or if he’s only saying it so I can get the tattoo.

  “Hey, before I forget—tomorrow night after I close up the store, I’m going out with Sonji and Jamie.”

  “Out where?”

  “Dinner. We usually pick a new restaurant to go to once a month—you know—just to kick it and eat. I wanted to cancel, but they’ve been hinting I’ve been spending all my free time with you.”

  “What’s wrong with that?”

  “Nothing, as far as I’m concerned.”

  “Tell your lil’ jealous friends to leave us alone. I like having you all to myself.”

  “They mean well. Anyway, the reason I told you about my plans is that I wanted you to know that I’m leaving you a key so you can watch TV and chill or whatever.”

  “You don’t have to do that, Ahmalee.”

  “It’s fine. I don’t want to leave you hanging.” I stand and collect our trash.

  He asks, “So, you’re going to be working this evening?”

  “Yes.”

  “And tomorrow, I won’t see you at all, huh?”

  “I don’t know how long we’ll be out tomorrow, so maybe not.”

  “Hmm…” he says.

  “Aw…are you going to miss me?” I say teasing him.

  He grins. “I ain’t gon’ miss you. It’s the food I’m going to miss.”

  “Whatever, Cain.”

  He stands. Stretches muscles and abs and biceps.

>   Jeez…

  “I’ll get out of your way so you can concentrate.”

  “You can stay for a while if you want. You’re not in my way.”

  “Thanks, but I’m going to catch up on some sleep. Thanks for dinner. Imma step in the bathroom on the way out.”

  “Okay.”

  I take my laptop and go to the living room. I can hear Cain moving around in the bathroom down the hallway, but I tune him out when I open my laptop and start ordering supplies. I check my phone when a text comes through. It’s from Sonji:

  Jamie said you were cool with Taza for dinner. This is going to be fun. Seems like we haven’t been out in forever. Later ;-)

  I text a reply:

  Yeah, it’ll be nice. See ya tomorrow.

  I turn toward the hallway entrance. I could’ve sworn my peripheral vision alerted me that Cain was standing there. However, when I turn around, he’s not there.

  “Cain?” I call out but I don’t get a response and I don’t hear any more noises from the bathroom. I guess my eyes were playing tricks on me.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Ahmalee

  “What the heck is tabouli?” I ask.

  Sonji and Jamie look at me like I asked them to give me a kidney.

  “What?” I ask. “I seriously don’t know what it is.”

  “You are so not cultured,” Sonji says. “You need to get out more, girl.”

  Jamie says, “Hmph. That’ll be hard to do since she got that man laid up in that house.”

  “Okay, ladies, let’s get this out of the way because I am not about to spend dinner discussing Cain with y’all. He does not stay in my house, Jamie. He lives in the camper in the backyard. Any more questions so we can wrap this up?”

  “Nope,” Sonji says. “I’m not taking the bait.”

  “Nah, no more questions from me,” Jamie says. “At least not at the moment.”

  “Good. Now, somebody tell me what tabouli is?”

  Sonji says, “It’s like a little salad of chopped parsley, tomatoes, mint and wheat, all tossed together with olive oil, lemon juice and salt and pepper.”

  “No lettuce?”

  “Nope.”

  “Then, I’ll pass. The roast beef gyro with fries looks good. I’m ‘bout to keep this real simple.”

  “I’m having the lamb gyro,” Jamie says.

  “Me, too,” Sonji adds.

  We order and then get drinks. Jamie says, “So, me and Sonji were talking about—you know—this being around the time your parents passed and all. How are you feeling?”

  “I feel okay. I was a mess earlier in the week, but—”

  I had Cain there to help me with that.

  I wasn’t about to tell them that. I say, “I’m okay. It’s hard to relive. I feel like they just left me here. Alone. It’s just me. I have no siblings. I think it would be easier to take if I had siblings—you know—someone to share the burden with.”

  Sonji says, “Yeah. That’s true. When you have siblings, you have that automatic support team who are there for you no matter what.”

  “Yeah, even if you want to slap them into next year sometimes,” Jamie adds.

  I grin.

  “But I’m fine, ladies. Oh, Jamie, I called that customer back. She ordered twenty-four, four-ounce Soothe My Soul candles.”

  “Goodness,” Sonji says. “See, that’s why you need to teach us how to make those candles, Ahmalee. You’re not going to be able to do those all by yourself.”

  “I have to. People are expecting the candles to be made by me.”

  “Not necessarily,” Jamie says. “Like, when I walk into McDonald’s I don’t expect the CEO to be back there flipping burgers and dropping fries.”

  “Not the same, Jamie.”

  “It kinda is. You’re the owner and the business is expanding. It’s probably time to delegate some of this work to somebody else.”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  The food comes. We start eating. It’s phenomenal. Everyone’s quiet. Out of nowhere, Sonji says, “I wasn’t going to say anything, but Khalid proposed last night.”

  “What?” I ask, excited. My eyes immediately go to her hand, in search of a ring. I don’t see one.

  “Congratulations!” Jamie says. “At least somebody ‘round here can get a man to commit. Am I right, Ahmalee. Am I right?”

  I grin and avoid her slap-hands moment. What I look like? They know all about my first relationship with the cheater. That’s all I’ll call him. The cheater.

  “Oh, my goodness! Congratulations, Sonji,” I tell her. I’m all excited and cheery, but I still want to know where the ring is.

  Sonji scratches her head. “Yeah, um…not so fast, y’all. I said no.”

  Chick almost made me choke on my roast beef. “You say what?”

  “I couldn’t do it. I love Khalid, but in that moment, something came over me and made me want to reconsider. Like, marriage is for life.”

  “No, freakin’ duh!” Jamie said. “Some of us will kill to have a man propose and you got one swinging from your nips and you told him no? Have you lost your mind? Are you hearing this, Ahmalee?”

  “I’m sure she has an explanation, Jamie.”

  Sonji chews on her lip for a moment. She says, “It’s like, is Khalid the one? Am I supposed to spend the rest of my life with him? This is a big decision. I can’t get it wrong.”

  “I understand your reluctance, Sonji,” I say, “But you’ve been with Khalid for what? Seven years? And he was your high school sweetheart, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Has he ever hurt you?”

  “No.”

  “Cheated on you?”

  “No. He’s like the model boyfriend.”

  “Then there’s nothing else to think about.”

  “Exactly,” Jamie says. “I should come across this table and sock you one.”

  Sonji laughs.

  “It’s okay to be scared, but if you love this man and you know he loves you, there shouldn’t be anything stopping you from living your life. You better go get your man and stop playing, girl.”

  “You’re right. I feel so bad now.” She grabs her purse and says, “I need to go, y’all. I gotta talk to him.”

  “By all means, go bright eyes,” Jamie says.

  When Sonji leaves, Jamie looks at me and says, “Welp, it’s just you and me now, chick, unless you running back home to your man, too.”

  Ignoring her, I resume eating, then glance around the restaurant. It’s packed tonight. I imagine it’s like this every Thursday.

  Jamie takes a sip of her drink. She says, “I hope Sonji didn’t break the poor fella’s heart too bad. You know how fragile men are. They’ll pretend they got everything under control—like nothing bothers them—when in reality women are stronger.”

  “I am not having that debate,” I tell her.

  “Ain’t nothing to debate. Billy sits around the house and complains nonstop. Thought I was supposed to be the one who nags, but noo. He’s got me beat, honey.”

  “The problem with that is, Billy doesn’t have any ambition—not to mention when you first met him, you didn’t take the time to get to know him.”

  “Oh, you’re one to talk…”

  I attempt to hide a smile, but it presents itself. “It’s different with Cain, Jamie. He’s trying to get back on his feet, and he’s not my man. You’ve already told me that all Billy does is sit around the house smoking weed and drinking Coronas.”

  She chuckles then toward the end of laughter, says, “I gotta get him out of my house.”

  “Good luck with that.”

  “I don’t need luck. I know how to handle his type. I just need a strategy. In the meantime, you need to figure out how you’re going to handle it when it’s time to put Cain out.”

  “Again, he doesn’t live in my house.”

  “So? He lives behind your house. How long will he be there? Did you give him a time frame?”

  “No.”
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  “So, he can stay as long as he wants to, then?”

  The answer is yes. Cain can stay for as long as he wants, but I’ve already peeped something about Cain – he’s a hard worker and I know he won’t be with me for much longer. He may have fallen, but he’s not one of those people who don’t get back up. He’s getting up, one day at a time. It’s only a matter of time before he moves on.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Ahmalee

  It’s after ten when I’m home. I step into the house and see Cain on the sofa with the remote in his hand. I’m glad he took me up on my offer and decided to chill at my house instead of in the camper. He got a tank top shirt on this time, burning one of my Tropical Staycation candles – the ones with the pineapple and mango fragrance oils. I’d left a note and told him to light it. The aroma is as nice as it is coming home to a man. Blended with the luscious tropical scent is the smell of him – every man has a smell and his produces enough pheromones to make me as hot as that dancing flame. He has his long legs stretched out, touching the coffee table. He got his right arm tucked behind his head. I can see a thatch of hair beneath it.

  “Hey,” I tell him, taking off my shoes, leaving them by the door with my purse.

  “Hey.”

  “I see you got my note.”

  “I did. Only you would leave a note with instructions for a grown man.”

  “It wasn’t instructions.”

  “It literally said, light this candle.”

  Amused, I say, “Yeah, because I wanted you to be relaxed while you enjoyed your alone time. I thought it was a kind gesture.”

  “It was. I’m just teasing you. And thanks for leaving the money, but I didn’t need it. I made a sandwich.”

  “Okay. Cool.”

  “How was your night?” he asks, powering the TV off and giving me his full attention.

  And I mean full attention – like checking out my hair and the dress I have on. It’s a black dress that comes to my knees. My locs are hanging loose and I put on a little lipstick – did all this at work in preparation to kick it with Jamie and Sonji.