Hate Sober
Page 1
Hate Sober
T.L Smith
Copyright T.L Smith 2019
Hate Sober by T.L Smith
Love Me #2 All Rights Reserved
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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to real events, real people, and real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the Author’s imagination and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, organizations or places is entirely coincidental.
All rights are reserved. This book is intended for the purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the express written permission of the Author. All songs, song titles and lyrics contained in this book are the property of the respective songwriters and copyright holders.
Created with Vellum
Contents
Warning
Blurb
1. Everly
2. Everly
3. Everly
4. Everly
5. Everly
6. Everly
7. Everly
8. Everly
9. Everly
10. Everly
11. Everly
12. Everly
13. Everly
14. Everly
15. Everly
16. Everly
17. Gunner
18. Everly
19. Gunner
20. Everly
21. Gunner
22. Everly
23. Gunner
24. Everly
25. Gunner
26. Everly
27. Everly
28. Everly
29. Gunner
30. Everly
31. Everly
32. Everly
THANK YOU!
Also by T.L Smith
Warning
This book contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language and may be considered offensive to some readers. This book is intended for adults ONLY. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.
This book also may contain triggers to some. Rape and violence.
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Cover – RBA
Edited – Swish Editing
Edited – Ink Machine Editing
Proofread - Contagious Edits
Photo – Perrywinkle Photography
Blurb
Our love wasn’t enough.
He had demons.
I had hopes.
Together we were never meant to be.
That didn’t stop us, though.
Even when it should have.
Even when I saw those demons loud and clear.
I should have stayed away.
Should have never looked back.
But love, it’s a fickle thing.
And sometimes…
You need to embrace the darkness.
Or let it destroy you.
I was drunk once.
Now, I’m sober.
1
Everly
Moments.
Everything happens in moments.
It was a moment of drinking tea that led me to this.
It was a moment of defying my husband that led me here.
It was the moment before I was born that a contract was made, without my consent, that led me to him.
I may have been unaware of some of these moments, and probably a touch naïve, but in doing so it led me to him, a man who scares me as much as he excites me.
My world isn’t black and white. I was raised differently to my friends, and our family values are a big thing.
You don’t disrespect your father or your mother—what they say is law.
But each and every moment has led me to this one. The one where I wake up, my hands free in a bed.
My head hurts—hurts really bad.
The moment that led me to this moment is fuzzy. At first, it takes a few moments for me to remember everything—Gunner, Alec, and the tea.
Turning my head to the side in the bed I see him. His head is in his hands as he sits on a seat not far from me. He’s whispering something under his breath while shaking his head. Turning slowly, my feet touch the floor, but he notices and turns to face me, lifting his head from his hands. Then he stares at me with eyes I know so well, eyes that have kept secrets in plain sight.
“Alec.” The word is whispered from my lips as I look at him.
His body tenses as he stands to push the seat back with his legs. “You’re awake.” I nod, it’s all I can think of doing in reply. “I’ve been waiting for you to wake. It probably won’t take him longer than a day or two to track us down.” He steps to the window and I realize we’re in a hotel room.
There’s a knock on the door and I freeze. When Alec opens it, a man is standing there who’s tall, dark, and very good-looking. His eyes find mine and I notice his lip is cut.
“Alec, why are you here?” The man steps into the room, Alec doesn’t bother to stop him. He walks over to where I am on the bed and nods his head once. “Is she the reason? Because I know who she is, Alec.”
“He doesn’t deserve her,” Alec says to this stranger.
The man looks back at me, smiles, his lip is scarred.
“You are Mrs. Reid now, are you not?” I nod. No words want to leave my mouth for some reason, so he turns back to Alec. “You know what kind of man he is. What he has accomplished. Why would you threaten him?” he questions Alec.
“You have a higher reach than him. You are the fucking mafia for fuck’s sake.” My body freezes on the bed. “Come on, Jasper. You can’t be scared of him, can you?” The scarred man who I now know as Jasper clicks his tongue at Alec.
“I know who he is, as I know who I am. I’m not a dumb businessman either, Alec. Gunner Reid is not someone I want to be on the bad side of. Not only is he powerful in the business world, he’s also damn influential in my world. Do you understand?”
“No.” Alec shakes his head. “He isn’t.”
Jasper steps away from me and closer to Alec. “Send her back. And stop causing trouble for yourself. You love her, that’s clear. But she’s married to Gunner. And the way she is looking at you…” his eyes look back to me, “… she doesn’t love you.” He walks to the door while Alec looks at me with a storm brewing in his eyes. “Mrs. Reid, if you would be so kind as to tell your husband when he wakes that I said hi, I would be grateful.” He smirks as he steps out of the room.
“What does he mean, when he wakes?” I ask Alec with confusion written all over my face.
“Pack your shit, we have to move.”
“Alec, what are you wanting to accomplish here?” I ask while walking over to him. He’s already packing his bag. Mine, well, I have only been awake for a few minutes and I don’t even know if I have a bag.
“You need to see there’s more than him. I’m more than him.”
I touch his arm as he keeps moving, to stop him in his place, and to pay attention to my words. “You are. I believe you are. But I don’t see you like that. To me, you’re family.”
He pulls away shaking his head. “I’m not, though, I have never been. You are more than family to me, Everly. I was in love with you long before him.”
“I’m sorry, Alec.”
“I’ll make you see. I’ll change your mind.”
I blow out a long breath and nod my head once, knowing right now is not the time to discuss this. He opens the door and I follow him to his car. We both slide in and he starts driving, pulling out onto the street. Turning to look out the window, I notice that man, Jasper. He’s leaning against his car, a cigarette dangling from his mouth as
he watches me. There’s a smirk on his lips and I shudder, so I spin quickly in my seat and face the front.
“Where is he?” I ask. The deafening silence fills the car with dread. “Jasper said… when he wakes.”
“I don’t know.” And from those three little words I get the feeling he’s lying to me. I don’t question him because I do love Alec, but I need him to see the way I love him is only as a family should love one another, purely platonic, and he’s simply confused. Maybe then the pain that’s etched on his face will disappear, and he will see what he’s dreamed about me is just that. Nothing more than a dream.
2
Everly
It’s quiet, we’ve been driving for what seems like several days when, in reality, it’s only been one. I don’t question him at all. Alec needs to see for himself that I’m not who he thinks I am. I am not the love of his life and this is all a misunderstanding. I trust Alec, I always have, and he deserves to know I’m not someone who will use him or even lie to him. Ever.
He deserves that sort of respect.
“I’m sorry, Squirt. Sorry for the tea.”
I nod my head and simply touch his shoulder.
“I would have gone with you if you had asked. You’re family, Alec.” He flinches at that word being used, and I remove my hand as if I’ve burned him.
“We aren’t, Squirt, we aren’t.” He goes silent for some time before he stops the car in front of a different motel and cuts the engine. “I’ve never seen you as family. Yes, I have protected and looked out for you like family should. But I did all that for my own selfish reasons.”
“You are anything but selfish, Alec,” I say in a soft voice. When I fought with my father, Alec would be the one to calm me down and tell me everything would be all right. When I wanted the money for my business, it was Alec who convinced my father I wasn’t going to waste it all and that I needed it for good reasons—to make my life better, to make me better.
“I’ll try, okay? But I can’t guarantee I won’t see you as more than that. I love him as much as I hate him, Alec. The two emotions right now are taking up my entire existence and I can’t make room for someone else.”
“I saw what he did to you. How could you possibly love someone who hurts you?”
It’s a valid question.
One I have asked myself multiple times with no real answers.
“I can’t explain it.” Even in my head thinking it sounds crazy. I don’t know anyone who likes the kinds of things he does to me. I should hate everything about it—the pain and the torture—but my body does the exact opposite, loving every minute of it and what he can do for me. It’s a fight club inside me, and I just need to work out what my new normal is. Everything I thought I loved and liked has changed, and it’s all thanks to him.
If I choose normal, he will cheat on me. He said it in those exact words, but if I let him do what he wants, I will be solely his, and he would never touch another woman again.
I believe him when he says the words, even though my mind is fighting my heart all the time.
“You should try, squirt. What he did isn’t normal.”
There’s that word again, ‘normal,’ which keeps ringing around in my brain.
What is normal, though? I don’t think what he did to me is normal by any means, and I expressed that, but somehow I liked it, and I won’t be expressing that to Gunner either.
It’s a predicament I have found myself in.
A quandary.
A dilemma.
And, to be honest, I’m unsure of what to do about any of it.
“Let’s eat, I’m hungry,” I say.
We get out and Alec checks us in, paying cash. Once we’ve registered, we head straight to the bar where we sit and order some food. Alec taps his fingers on the counter, and I know he’s dying to ask me something. “Just say it,” I urge him.
He calls the bartender over, and orders a drink. “It’s just…” he pauses lifting the drink to his lips, but then pulls it away again, “… I’m trying to understand, and I have no idea how to.” He places his drink back on the counter while shaking his head.
“Which part?”
“Why him?” he asks, turning so he’s facing me. “Why him?” he repeats.
“Why is the sky blue? Grass green?” I ask and then shrug. “I have no idea. I would like to know why, myself. I wish it weren’t him. I don’t want to love him, Alec. But I’m here, you deserve me to be here for you, so I am here. Even if I’m thinking about him.”
Pain radiates from his face as he closes his eyes in an attempt to quell the agony before he lifts his drink, finishing it in one long swallow.
I place my hand over his, covering it and looking at him. Everything seems to go silent around us and it’s just us. “If I could choose, Alec, and if you weren’t considered family to me, I would choose you. I want you to know that.”
“I never went into anything serious. Never brought any women around you, because none of them compare to you,” he says in almost a whisper.
The food arrives and I remove my hand, breaking the spell we were just under.
“You should try. Honestly, you should try, Alec. I don’t know where this thing will go with him, but you shouldn’t wait for me.”
“I won’t sit back and watch you go back to him.” He picks at his fries, while the rage radiates from him.
“He will find me, Alec. You know he will.” His lips thin at my words, but he doesn’t say anything in return. “Why did you never tell me?” I ask him, wanting to know.
“Your father made me promise not to.”
“Of course he did,” I mutter. “Why did you go along with it?”
“He raised me. He was the closest thing to family I ever had. You know our beliefs… we are taught to respect family above all else. That won’t change, but I can’t sit back and watch anymore. He told me I could have you. I waited, biding my time, and look where it’s gotten me.” He flips his plate over, and the food spills everywhere. The crockery bounces once and then shatters on the floor.
“Did you not know about the Reid contract?” I ask him, because I’m feeling quite confused.
“It was whispered about. Your father used to reassure me Gunner wouldn’t want you, and it came down to his choice.”
“He chose me?” I ask him.
“It was Gunner’s choice if the contract was fulfilled. And you fell right into his devil arms.” Alec stands and throws money on the counter and walks off. I sit there unsure of what’s going on, and what exactly just happened. Picking up some of the money, I take enough to make a phone call.
“Everly Thorne…” my father’s voice rings through the phone, hopeful.
“He isn’t my uncle?” I ask Father, holding onto the phone.
“How…” He goes silent for a few beats before confirming my question, “No. No he is not.”
“How could you keep this from me?” I ask him, my voice turning into one of baffled ignorance. “Do I really mean so little to you that you hide such things from me all the time?”
“Everly—”
“No, you can’t undo what you’ve done. It’s sad. This makes me see you differently.” A few tears leave my eyes and run down my cheeks. I swipe them away angrily.
“Your husband has been asking for you, Everly. You need to see him.”
“How dare you.”
“Do you know, Everly? Do you know where he is?”
“Of course I don’t. I’m with Alec.”
“You need to come back. Come back home to your husband, Everly.”
“Why?”
“He’s in the hospital. He was shot.” The phone receiver drops from my hand and I hear my father’s voice calling my name.
After a few seconds attempting to get my mind back into the now, I pick up the receiver and hang up on my father then dial Gunner’s number, which I know off the top of my head. Much like I know each curve of his body, every muscular ridge, every single feature. It rings, and rings, an
d when someone answers I almost drop the damn thing again.
“Gunner Reid’s phone. He’s busy right now.” She giggles. “Who can I say is calling?” She giggles again and I want to slap that giggle right out of her mouth. I hear his deep voice in the background—he’s alive and with another woman who’s giggling at him like a stupid little schoolgirl.
“Where is my husband?” I seethe into the phone.
Her giggling stops straight away, and I hear the shuffling before his deep voice rings through the line.
“Everly, where are you?”
“Who was that, Gunner?”
“Is that jealousy I hear in your voice, Everly?”
“Who is it?”
“Where are you?” he questions back.
“Are you in the hospital?”
“No. I was. Now I am at our place. And soon, Everly, I will find you. Let’s make it easier on Alec. If you come home to me now I won’t kill him straight away.”
“You’re fine?” I ask.
“Yes, I am.”
A sigh of relief leaves me. “What happened?”
“I was shot at his place, Everly.”
“Alec’s been with me,” I defend.
“Of course he has. And tell me, Everly, would you choose him over me? Over your husband?”
“I still have bruises all over my body.”
A man walks past and looks at me before he continues walking, and I wonder why he wouldn’t ask if I am all right.