Hate Sober

by T. L Smith

  He says my name when I don’t continue. “Everly.”

  “I need time,” I reply.

  “Time is not what I want to give you.”

  “Luckily for me, you don’t get a choice,” I say, turning around ready to hang up the phone.

  “But I do. I am your husband, Everly. Tell me, do you want me to kill him?”

  “No.”

  “I’ve been lenient enough as it is, Everly. You should know when it comes to you, I do not have any sort of patience.”

  “You might have to grow some.” I hang up the phone, not wanting to talk to him anymore.

  Entering the room, I see Alec is on the bed, a bottle of whiskey in his hand as he stares at nothing. He doesn’t even bother looking at me when I walk in and sit next to him.

  He smells familiar, like someone I have loved as family for so long that I can’t see what he’s asking from me.

  “It’s unfair. So unfair,” he says, shaking his head then tipping the bottle up to his lips and taking a big swig before he drops it again.

  “I don’t know what to say to you,” I utter then bite my bottom lip, having no other words.

  “What I want you to say, you can’t. So, it’s best we don’t talk.”

  I simply nod.

  He looks at me and takes another drink. “I didn’t plan for it to go like this. I wanted to win you. To show you I was more than you thought of me. Show you what you deserve. Because, Everly, you deserve more than that man is offering you.”

  Still, no words leave my mouth.

  “I knew it would be awkward, but we could get past it, and maybe you could see me as more than family. Maybe you could see me as a man who would do anything in this world to protect you. Because I would, Everly. I would protect you from anybody and everything.”

  “I believe you.” I lay my head on his shoulder, trusting every word he utters. “You’ve been my protector for so long, Alec. I’m sorry it’s like this. I’m sorry I don’t feel what you would like me to feel.”

  He places the bottle of whiskey on the floor and gets up, walking away to the bathroom. The door slams shut, and all I can do is lie back, close my eyes and hopefully drown out the thoughts that are shouting in my head.

  I don’t ever want to know what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t love you in return. And for this, I feel terrible for Alec.

  At least with Gunner, I know he loves me. Even though his love is fucked up, it’s still his version of it.

  3

  Everly

  I wake with a start. My heart’s pounding hard out of my chest and I’m covered in sweat. Sitting up, I look to see Alec with no shirt on, sitting on the floor instead of the bed. He turns to look at me then sees I’m fine and spins back.

  I dreamed of him. Dreamed I found him dead. Gunner. Dead. My heart almost broke in my sleep.

  What is he doing to me?

  “Alec.” He doesn’t look around, and I know he’s still very drunk. I can smell him from here. He let me sleep while he drank himself into oblivion.

  I wish I could love him. I wish I didn’t see him as family. I wish I could forget the family curse and love Alec for just being him. But I can’t. I can’t stop myself for caring and loving a man whose form of love should be abhorrent to me. Why isn’t it?

  “I’m sorry. You know, I’m sorry.”

  He gets up, his chest bare and smooth. Alec works out, it’s obvious from just one glance at his chiseled features and bulging muscles. He tenses, and I have to suck in a breath as he steps close and leans down so his face is inches from mine. I can smell him as he opens his mouth, and I know it’s the most inebriated I’ve ever seen him. I’m sure I could get drunk just off his fumes alone.

  “You don’t love him. You like the way he treats you… like shit. It’s because no one does that. You’ve never been treated that way. I don’t allow you to be treated that way, so you get some sort of perverted kick out of it.” He takes a deep breath, his lips inches from mine. “I’m telling myself to treat you like he does, then maybe you will see, but I can’t bring myself to do it. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.” His eyes close for a brief moment, the pain evident, before they flick open again. “But you do need help with persuasion.” He moves so fast I don’t have time to stop him. His lips touch mine and they’re hard as he pushes me back, so all I can taste is him and whiskey. He tries to pry open my mouth with a slip of his tongue, but I can’t. I simply can’t do that. Instead, I sit there with my mouth locked as he tries to kiss me but I don’t return the act.

  He pulls back and says, “What the fuck,” and when he does, a furious Gunner is standing in the doorway looking at me with so much anger in his eyes I have to look away.

  He goes to walk toward me, but someone touches his arm, causing him to turn back to look and shake his head. Swinging his head back to me he spits, “Get up. Now, Everly.”

  I do as he says, but Alec places a drunken hand in front of me, stopping me from walking past him.

  “Alec,” I whisper, trying to move, but he isn’t thinking with a clear head.

  No, he’s drunk. And worse than that, he’s pissing off Gunner.

  “She isn’t yours,” Alec whispers.

  I close my eyes, and when I open them, Gunner’s watching me.

  “I’m not putting a bullet in his head right now because of you and you alone, Everly. Move now, or I will take you being mad at me for killing him. I don’t care, either way is fine with me.”

  I push on Alec’s arm, and he lets it drop as I walk past him. The minute I’m standing in front of Gunner my nerves go on high alert, and I feel and smell every inch of him. Being near him is like standing outside in a storm, the type that can rip you apart. You know you should go, step back and head somewhere safe. But it’s simply too beautiful to look away from, and you want to see the damage it causes.

  “Don’t hurt him,” I tell Gunner, who doesn’t look back at Alec. Now that I am near him, Gunner doesn’t care about Alec. He reaches out, his strong fingers latch onto me and he pulls me out the door. My eyes wander over him, over every inch of him that I can see from the back, and I smile. Despite myself, I smile while staring at him. His hair is slicked back and in a low ponytail, his ass looks magnificent in those dress trousers he always wears, and I’m thinking of all the things he’s going to do to me.

  Even if I hate him.

  Even when I love him.

  Opening the door for me, I step inside his car. He heads around to the other side and slides in right next to me. A separator slides up between the driver and us, and the minute it hits the top, everything goes silent. I can hear his breathing and nothing else. He isn’t speaking to me as the car pulls away, and we sit there in silence for at least five minutes as I stare out the window waiting for him to say his first words.

  “You wanted to leave me?” he finally questions. “You took off while I was asleep. You wanted to leave?” he says, his voice taking on a darker, accusing tone.

  “Yes,” I answer truthfully. “I went to work, but I didn’t run far,” I say, taking a deep breath before I turn to look at him. And when I do, the breath rushes out of me as I look at him. His eyes have turned dark, and they’re set on me, waiting to see what else I have to say.

  “You didn’t want to come back, Everly. You wanted to leave me.”

  “You told me you wanted to sleep with other women if I didn’t give you what you need. Might I remind you that you hurt me.”

  “You loved every minute of it, Everly. It just took you a while to see that you loved it.”

  “Fuck you!” I spit at him.

  “I plan to. And I might tie you up even longer for good measure.”

  My hands touch the door, ready to open it when he speaks again, “It’s locked. No more escaping for you.”

  “I’m starting to sober up. You aren’t the man I thought you were.”

  “And what man did you think I was?” he asks, leaning closer with an intense glare—one tha
t tells me he’s interested in what I have to say.

  “One who respects me.”

  He chuckles. “I respect you, Everly. In every way I know how to.”

  “I don’t want to fuck you anymore, Gunner.”

  “You know what that means then, right?” he asks me.

  I turn to face him. “You will fuck other women,” I reply.

  “Correct. But you will stay my wife.”

  “If I don’t want to?”

  “The answer is easy, Everly. I’ll kill them. And your grace period will be me letting you say goodbye before I put a bullet in each of their heads.”

  “You can’t just kill them.”

  “I have their suicide notes written and ready, it’s part of the contract in case you broke it. So, when I kill them, in no way will it come back to me, when it says, in their handwriting, that they did it themselves.”

  “No.” I shake my head. “No way.”

  “Of course, I know what day and age we live in. I understand that you could walk away easily now compared to back then. So, they did this, to ensure that you won’t leave.”

  “What is it you really want, Gunner?”

  “I want everything, Everly. You included.”

  “You broke that. You can’t have me, Gunner. You broke us, and I don’t know if I want to go back to the before us either. I was blinded by you, but now I see you.”

  “So poetic,” he says while stepping out of the car then coming around to my side and offering me his hand. I brush it away and get out by myself. Walking past him, I can hear his footsteps as he follows me to his house.

  It will never be mine.

  What was mine he took, and now I can’t ever get it back.

  “I’m going to work,” I say, looking back over my shoulder and pushing the front door open. He clenches his teeth at my words and steps up the stairs fast, so his body slams into mine and he pushes me in farther, shutting the door behind him. Looking up, I have to remember to breathe, while watching his angry eyes, which were pissed off before but are now fully black. My hand goes up to touch him, but I quickly yank it back down when I realize I am not that girl anymore. I’m changing, and I am not as blind to him as I was.

  “We spoke about this, Everly,” he says through clenched teeth.

  I smile up at him. “No, you spoke about it. You don’t want me to work. You want me to be a good little bitch. Well, guess what?” I move closer so he can feel my breath tickling his face. “That is not going to happen.” Turning on my heel, I walk to my bedroom to change. I need to shower and get out of here. Stepping in, I see the room’s a mess, clothes are everywhere, and the bed is disheveled.

  This is all very unlike him, his place is always immaculate.

  Turning around to face him, he stops just behind me at the door.

  There are words on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t say them, I don’t know how to.

  What do I say?

  You, sir, are an asshole. Yeah, good words, but I also want to fuck you. But not your way, more of my way. Nope, that will never work.

  Stepping away and keeping my mouth shut, I grab some clothes and step into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. Stripping and stepping under the warm water, I wash my hair as the glass shower door is pulled back and Gunner steps in. Turning to face him, I’m about to yell when I see the wound on his chest. My hand lifts to touch it when I remember he was hurt.

  “I would take a thousand of these to have you back.” He says things like that, but then ruins it with other cutting words.

  Dropping my hand and turning around, I tell myself not to fall for his wicked ways. It’s a trap, and he already has my heart locked up. If I’m not careful, next will be my body, but first I need to free my heart.

  “Everly.” His hand touches my hip and I sigh. He hears it, but he doesn’t see the pain he causes me with his touch. I won’t allow him to see my face. The conflict within me is what is hurting me the most. The ‘I love you,’ and then the need to be set free.

  It isn’t fair.

  None of this is fair.

  “Don’t touch me, Gunner.”

  “You are my wife, Everly.”

  Quickly finishing washing, I turn to face him. He’s waiting for me to speak, hope blooms in his dark eyes, and I want to squash it all just like he has done to me.

  “By. Law. Only. Not in any other form. You lost the right to touch me. You lost the right to have me. You may own my last name, but you don’t own me, Gunner Reid.” I step out and he makes no move to touch me.

  “If I can’t have you, then I’ll have to have someone else.”

  Wrapping the towel around my body, I smile. It’s forced, but I put on a good show when I look back at him, even when everything inside me is cracking apart.

  “You do that. Just don’t think you will ever be touching me again if you do.”

  “I can force you, Everly. I know you will love it.”

  “You do that then, Gunner. But remember, if you do, it was you who ruined me. It was you who didn’t care for me, and it was you who made me hate you.”

  I step out, my hands shaking, knowing he can do just that. He could make me fuck him, and in doing so I might like it—my body, that is. Me, on the other hand, not so much. My mind won’t like it at all.

  If he gave me time, instead of throwing me in the deep end and into his kinks, possibilities could have been there. But he didn’t even try. He simply tied me up and expected me to be happy about it.

  How wrong he was.

  4

  Everly

  He stayed in the shower until I left. Not once did he come out to stop me when I was getting ready, and I thank God for that small miracle. Just because I am back at his house doesn’t mean I want to be here. And for him to think I will give up my café, he’s fucking crazy. No chance in hell will I ever consider that prospect. This little café is my baby, my life source, building it from the ground up, I love every inch of this place.

  My cell phone sits in my purse with multiple unanswered questions, mainly from May. I’m not sure how to tell her everything that’s happened, or even where to start to explain the situation I find myself in. Not only will she be shocked, but I may break her heart when I tell her about what happened with Alec. Unfortunately, he doesn’t see her in any way she wants him to.

  “Everly.” I turn to my father’s voice. He and my mother are standing in my café. The very café they have never stepped foot inside, due to my father’s innate disgust at me even wanting a business of my own that doesn’t include him firmly entrenched in its dealings.

  “What—” I stop and look around to see no one else with them. Walking over to them, I guide my mother and father to a seat in the back where we can talk. My father’s eyes skirt everywhere before he finally sits, checking out my café with an eagle eye, while my knee bounces anxiously as I wait for them to speak.

  My mother goes first. “It’s so busy.”

  I turn and follow my father’s eyes—he’s staring at the takeout counter, which serves coffee, and our dessert menu, including our specialty chocolate swirl cheesecake. As usual, there’s a line out the door and halfway down the street.

  “This is not what I thought it would be,” my father says, turning around to face me. “You’ve done really well, angel.” I smile at his words but then remember.

  My back straightens and I take a deep breath before any words leave my mouth. “You wrote suicide notes?” I ask them. At least my mother has the decency to look down at her feet while my father nods.

  “He wanted extra reassurance. We had to give it to him.”

  “When?” I ask.

  “The day before the wedding.” Of course, he had everything planned. “You loved him, so we didn’t see it as an issue.”

  I balk at his damn words. “You have to be joking, right? You have suicide notes written and given to a man who wants your business.”

  “Well, it will be yours now you’re married…” he pauses while r
unning a hand through his hair, “… when you’re ready for it.”

  “I don’t want it,” I tell him, crossing my hands over my chest in a defiant move.

  “It’s yours. It’s how it works. It’s all part of the reason he married you. It’s what you stand to inherit that he’s interested in.”

  “Give it to Alec,” I say.

  “You know about him now, I take it? Yet, you still want him to have it?”

  “I do. He deserves it.”

  My father nods. “He may kill me for this,” my father says, referring to Gunner.

  “Was it in the contract?” I ask.

  “No. All that was stated in that damn contract was that he has the right to marry our firstborn girl, and if she refuses, he has means to end us with no retaliation.”

  “Is he a bad man?” I ask my father.

  “Yes. But the way he looked at you…” he pauses and looks to my mother, “… it reminded me of how I look at your mother. That he loves you that much is perfectly clear to us.”

  I shake my head, not even wanting to get involved in any of those types of thoughts. “Why did you lie to me about Alec?” I ask. “I thought he was my uncle this whole time, and you lied. You had him believe he could marry me,” I say incredulously.

  “We had hoped he could. You see, we hadn’t heard anything from the Reid family since you were five, and their last heir, the one who was up to marry you, had not wanted any part of marriage. So, Alec was the best option. He would care for you and look after the family business in return.”

  “What exactly is the family business?” I ask, leaning forward, now wanting to know everything.

  “We are exporters. Highly illegal items, extremely valuable, sourced from places you don’t want to know and are most dangerous to be dealing with. We own the majority of this town’s infrastructure and people. Granted, your husband has done a great job of slowly pushing me out and taking over.”

  “I don’t want any part of it,” I say.