Hate Sober

by T. L Smith

  “Where you off to?” he asks, pushing off and stepping closer to me. He kept his distance to start with, making sure not to startle me. He knows, thanks to Alec, that when someone is too close or when my back is turned, I freak out. So far, I haven’t been able to contain the anxiety that creeps over me in those two scenarios.

  “Off to help May move.”

  He raises an eyebrow, looks down the road, then back to me. “Can I help?”

  His words shock me because I can’t imagine him wanting to do this at all. “Are you sure? It’s going to be boring.”

  “You’ll be there, right?”

  “Well, I would hope so,” I say with a smile.

  “Well, then, it won’t be boring.” He opens his door and waves for me to slide in. I step closer and he takes my arm, helping me in the car. My skin burns where he touches me, and it takes everything in me not to tell him so. To tell Gunner to remove his hand because I’m having a reaction to him. A reaction where I’d like to wrap my arms around him and lock our lips together.

  That could be bad.

  Slow.

  We need to take things slow.

  The slower the better.

  He walks around and gets in, looking over at me. “To May’s place?” I nod as he starts the engine and drives off.

  “You didn’t have to offer to help, you know,” I say to lighten the mood. I can feel the tension, it’s sexual and he’s reserved.

  He turns to face me. “Of course I did.” And that’s all he says the whole drive. We pull up and I spot May out front with Ryan carrying her suitcases out. When she spots the car, she stops and her eyes zoom in on us.

  “Ev?” she asks.

  I look at Gunner and leave my purse in his car as I step out.

  May waves, then looks to the driver side as Gunner unfolds himself from the car. “And you’ve brought help,” she says as she turns to Gunner.

  “Yeah, he offered. I hope that’s okay?” May crosses her arms over her chest and eyes him up and down.

  “You won’t be causing trouble today, will you?”

  Just as she says that, Buck walks out with the mattress over his shoulders, his muscles bulging as he carries the weight. We all watch as he drops it in the truck, then turns and offers us a wave, but when he notices who’s standing with me, his hand drops and he walks back inside.

  “Hi, I’m Ryan.” Ryan steps up and offers his hand to Gunner. Gunner looks to it, and at first, I think he’s going to leave him there with his hand in the air and not touch him, but he quickly changes his mind and lifts his hand, shaking it.

  “Gunner,” is all he says.

  “You two a thing?” Ryan asks, looking between us.

  Neither of us answer, and thankfully May saves us by butting in, “Can’t believe you came. But thanks, Gunner, we need all the help we can get.” May grabs Ryan by the arm and turns with him to head back inside. I stand there and face Gunner, my hands sliding into my jeans pockets as I look up at him.

  “You can still bail if you want.”

  His dark eyes lock onto mine. His hair is tied back and everything in me is screaming to kiss him, but I don’t listen to that voice, it’s the one that got me into this mess with him in the first place.

  Reason wins out and I take it slow.

  No kissing the delectable man standing in front of me, who I know can kiss very, very well.

  “No, I’m here for you.” He turns and starts walking in the direction that May went, and I manage to catch up with him. As we walk inside, I hear Buck’s voice. “No, I think it’s time I go.”

  Damn, I feel bad straight away. I never want him to feel uncomfortable. When he turns to us, he pauses, then walks straight past us and out the door.

  I turn, going after him, not caring that Gunner’s here. “Buck,” I say when it’s just us outside.

  He stops walking and spins around to face me. Before I can speak again, he holds up his hand. “I knew it, Everly. I could see you weren’t over your husband, and clearly, he isn’t over you. I just hoped...”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He looks over my shoulder then back to me. “It’s fine. I’m a survivor, I’ll move on. I wish you the best, though.” He steps up, kisses my cheek, and lingers a touch before he pulls away. I smile as I watch him get into his truck and drive off.

  When I turn around, Gunner’s at the door watching me.

  “You’re impossible to move on from. He’s going to have a tough time. Trust me, I’ve tried,” is all he says before he starts walking to Ryan’s truck to load the suitcases he has in his hands. I smile at his words and follow him back inside.

  “Lunch?” he asks me as we get back in his car. He’s been helping out all morning, and not once has he complained or been rude to May. I would say that’s major progress on his part.

  “As in a date?” I ask him, leaning my hand on his car and turning slightly so I can see him properly.

  He smirks at me. “No, just lunch.”

  I nod to his answer, and he drives us to a small café not too far from my own. Gunner opens the door for me and we walk inside, then he slides his hands into his pockets before we sit.

  “I really feel like a burger, or pizza, or fries,” I say, not having any clue which one I want. He laughs and gets up to order. When he comes back, I place my elbows on the table as I lean in closer to him. “So, tell me, Gunner… tell me something about you.”

  “This isn’t a date.”

  I raise an eyebrow at him. “In order to get a date, you’ll have to give me some information to make me want to date you. So, tell me everything I need to know, so I can more easily make my decision.”

  “All right then.” As he says the words, two coffees are delivered to the table, and when the waitress leaves, he starts talking. “I lost my parents when I was a kid. Lost my entire life then, and had to move in with my grandmother, who is, and always will be, about business. She groomed me to be who I am, and as it turns out, doesn’t really care for me all that much. Especially if I don’t follow what she had planned for me…” He pauses and I instantly feel bad. I knew his grandmother wasn’t a nice lady, but I didn’t suspect he had any idea. “Oh yes, she showed me her other side not too long ago,” he answers my unasked question.

  “I’m sorry.”

  He shrugs, moving on. “I met a woman once who threw me for a loop. You wouldn’t believe the depth of blue or the sparkle in her eyes, and how they can hold you in place for so long without her even knowing she’s doing it. She confused me, and made me rethink absolutely everything I am. But I, of course, being myself, fucked all that up and destroyed her.” My hands pull back and I lean back against my seat. “I married her. Made her mine. But that didn’t hold out as I had planned. I figured once I had her, with a ring on her finger, my last name hers, she would never run away from me.”

  I shake my head at his words, looking down at my lap.

  “I loved her, you see. I was just so blind to it all. She loved me, too, and I knew she did. So, I took her and her love for granted.”

  I suck in a deep breath at his words, and when I look up, the waiter comes back with three separate plates. Pizza, burger, and fries. I look up at him and smile.

  “We can share, or you can have them all.”

  “You bought me all three?” I smile at his words.

  “You’re hungry.”

  I laugh as I start eating. Then I moan when the pizza hits my mouth, it tastes so good.

  “I’m going to try to be a better man for you, Everly.”

  “Okay,” is all that leaves my mouth.

  “Okay,” he repeats, and leaves it at that as he starts eating.

  After a while, he goes on to tell me about his real estate business and how it’s grown so much in the last few months. That he realizes what he’s doing now is what makes him happy.

  “It feels good to find what you love doing,” I say as we stand.

  Gunner reaches for my hand, but the minute his fingers touch
mine, he pulls back as if he realized he doesn’t have permission to do that anymore. “It does, but it would feel better if I had you in my life.”

  No words are needed as we get into his car. I promised myself slow with Gunner Reid. I don’t need to run at him headfirst this time. I have time to discover him, and see if this will work. If we will fit.

  Love sometimes isn’t enough. I want friendship from him as well.

  Pulling up at my apartment, he walks around and opens my door for me.

  “Can I come to your parents’ for dinner?” I look at the time, then back to him.

  “I have to go in a few hours. Are you sure you want to come?”

  He nods then smirks.

  “Not a date, though, right?”

  I nod, smiling at him. “See you later, Gunner Reid.” I give him a small wave as I walk into my apartment, and he waits at my door before it shuts. I watch him get into his car and drive away.

  Now, I have to remember how to slow my heart down when he’s around.

  Because it still beats wildly for Gunner Reid.

  29

  Gunner

  She’s already there when I pull up out front, her car’s parked in the driveway. Walking up the stairs to her parents’ house, her father opens the door just before I can knock. I once wanted everything he had. I wanted to destroy him, and take it all away from this family. Now, I want into this family, and I really couldn’t care less about anything to do with his family business. What I want the most is inside his house.

  “Gunner.” Her father nods, not stepping away to let me inside, instead he stays where he is. He took my family’s business and made it his own. I should hate him, but I don’t. One day, though, I will own this town just as he does right now. “You planning on taking my daughter again?” he asks me, raising an eyebrow.

  “I plan to marry her again,” I tell him the truth and my intentions.

  His lip twitches at my words. “Alec is here, so best behavior while in my house.” He steps back and lets me inside, and I see her straight away, her back is to me and she’s sitting at the dining table. Across from her is Alec and his fiancée, Jacinta. Everly turns when she hears us and smiles shyly. When I get near, I lean down to kiss her cheek and take a deep breath.

  Fuck! She smells good. I want her so fucking badly. Not having her is almost torture. At least now she lets me be around her. It’s a starting point and something to work from.

  “So nice to have you all under the same roof. It’s family time,” Everly’s mother says, and I feel Everly’s eyes on me, so I turn her way to see her smiling. I like her smile. I like it full stop when she looks at me.

  Fuck, I love everything about her.

  “Thanks for coming,” she says in a soft voice for only me to hear.

  “I invited myself. So, I guess I should be thanking you.”

  Her cheeks blush as she turns away to her mother who’s pouring her a drink.

  “You two seem to be getting along well,” her mother states, at which I turn to look at Everly for words.

  “Yes, slowly. It will take time.” Her hand touches my leg and I freeze at the contact. She gives me a gentle squeeze, then pulls away, placing her hands back on the table. “And you two have been speaking?” Everly says looking from me to Alec.

  Alec nods as do I.

  “That’s very good to hear. You two boys fighting isn’t worth it,” her father chimes in.

  “Oh, it was worth it,” I say softly, making Everly’s smile tighten.

  The dinner goes easily. Everly smiles my way throughout, and I take each and every fucking one of them as though they are my personal gift.

  Life without her wouldn’t be good. It would be liveable, but it wouldn’t be the same. It was agonizing not to have her with me. To be the better person and give her the man she deserved by letting her go. Believe me, I didn’t want to let her go.

  “You really trying to win her back, huh?” Alec asks as the girls get up and walk outside. Everly’s father goes to fill our drinks as Alec taps the table, waiting for me to reply.

  “Yes, I can’t live without her.”

  “This is evident.” He chuckles.

  I offer him a nod. We may have lost our friendship all those years ago, but I’m trying to accept him. I can clearly see he puts Everly first, he values her, and now he has his own family to support. And watching him with Jacinta, I know it’s just a matter of time before he falls hard for her. She clearly loves him enough for the two of them.

  “She was so broken after…” He doesn’t say Roberto’s name. “She was always a smiler, nice to everyone. Now it seems only you can pull the big smiles from her.”

  “She just needs time.”

  “Time for what?” Everly asks, walking back into the room by herself. She looks from me to Alec and sits next to me.

  “Time to heal,” I tell her.

  Everly looks surprised, but doesn’t speak.

  “How has your week been, Squirt?” Alec asks, pulling her attention from me.

  “Good. Gunner helped May move today.”

  Alec looks to me and raises an eyebrow. “Went good?” he asks.

  “You could say that, I think.”

  I look to Everly who’s still watching me. “He did good. That’s all I can ask for.” She goes to pour herself another glass of wine.

  “Are you driving?”

  She pauses and looks back to me with raised eyebrows. “Yes, but I was thinking that you could also take me home, ex-husband,” she says before standing and walking back out, leaving Alec and me sitting alone again.

  “You’re going to have fun.” He laughs, getting up and walking away, leaving me sitting there.

  She’s drunk. Everly is drunk. Everyone is drinking, except for Jacinta and me. Jacinta ends up convincing Alec to leave, and I lean down to Everly who’s sitting on the floor, trying to play Monopoly by herself. She isn’t winning.

  “Let me take you home.” I offer her a hand. She looks to it and scrunches her eyebrows.

  “You just want to tie me up again.” She brushes my arm away. “Let me win this game first.”

  I drop down next to her. “I will never do anything without your consent again. But please, let me take you home.” She looks up to me. “And, I hate to say it, but you’re losing.”

  Her bottom lip puckers and I take it between my fingers, giving it a gentle pull before I stand, offering her my hand again. She looks at it, then shrugs like she’s made up her mind as I pull her up. She falls into my arms and leans her head on my chest. “You smell really good.”

  I chuckle at her words and pull back as I hear her mother walk in.

  “You’re taking her?”

  “He’s taking me home. Not to have sex, though.”

  Her mother cringes at her words and nods to me. She walks over and kisses her daughter’s temple, saying goodbye before she starts to walk off.

  “Come on, Everly.” I lean down and pick her up.

  She wraps her arms around my neck while I hold her bridal style and walk out to the car. She looks up at me and pushes a lock of my hair back and smiles. “You’re so pretty it hurts.”

  My lips quirk up at her words. She is very much intoxicated.

  Carrying her to the car, I slide her in once I get the door open. She doesn’t let go, instead trying to keep her hands wrapped around me as I try to put her down.

  “I hate that I love you,” she whispers in my ear and lets go.

  I pull back to see her head resting against the car seat and she’s facing away from me.

  I love that she loves me.

  Even when she shouldn’t.

  “Everly.” I reach for her, but she doesn’t move. “Everly, I need your keys.” Again, no movement. I look at her apartment, which I no longer have a key for, and back to a very passed-out Everly. “Everly, I’m going to have to take you home.” Again, no movement.

  Sighing, I drive us back to mine and carry her inside. She wakes when I reach the
bedroom and place her on the bed. She grabs the blankets and pulls them up to her chin while I take her shoes off.

  “It smells like you,” she says as I look up at her. Her eyes are slightly open as she looks down at me. “Don’t sleep in here.” Then she turns and passes out. I get her a glass of water and place an Advil next to her while I go out and turn on the television. I won’t disrespect her again, so I will do exactly as she asks and not sleep in the same room as her.

  Somehow, I pass out and wake with a hand touching me. Opening my eyes, I see Everly standing above me, my blanket wrapped around her. I look to the clock and see it’s been five hours since she passed out in my bed.

  “I can’t sleep. Sometimes I can’t sleep,” she says in a soft voice.

  I move over, offering her the edge of the couch. It’s big enough for two people to lay comfortably together.

  She looks to it then back at me. “Why am I here, Gunner?” she asks.

  The light from the television I didn’t turn off flickers across her face as I answer, “I didn’t have a key, and you needed to sleep.”

  “Thank you, for not touching me.”

  I nod as she climbs next to me with my blanket still wrapped around her. She presses her back against my front, and I turn the television up just a touch to kill the silence in the room. The smell of her hair—which smells like strawberries—wafts into my nose, and I have to remind myself to keep control, not to get hard, tell my cock to stay where he is.

  “Goodnight, Everly,” I whisper to her back.

  She doesn’t say anything, and when I lean up to look at her, she’s fast asleep next to me.

  30

  Everly

  I’ve just had the best night’s sleep I have had in over three weeks. I don’t know how it’s possible, but I open my eyes and remember where I am. Pushing back, I hit something hard. Turning around, I see a very asleep Gunner behind me. He looks uncomfortable stuck on one side, his front to my back, his hands to his sides, not touching me as he sleeps. I smile at him, even though he can’t see it. He’s made me feel safe, very safe.