I Married an Alien Handyman: A Spicy, Steamy Romp Across Alien Galaxies

by Nora Nolan

  “This is great, Sam, I’m happy with this. Should have had it fixed months ago! Tell you what, let me fix you a bite to eat, since it’s suppertime.”

  He looked down at her and again she felt he was seeing all her intimate thoughts and secrets. Those dark eyes – she’d never seen any quite so compelling and mesmerizing. His full lips spread slowly across his face into the most enticing smile, and she noticed the dimple on one cheek. “That’s not necessary. Don’t you want me to get to work on the ceiling fan?”

  “I just thought you might want a break.” She summoned a bit of optimistic courage. “Do you prefer beer or wine?”

  “I really shouldn’t drink on the job, you know.”

  “I have iced tea, too, and orange juice.”

  “All right, then. I’ll have a glass of iced tea. How about we save the beer until the work is done?”

  That sounded like he might agree to stay a while after he completed the work. She was grateful he accepted and relaxed a little bit as they walked into the kitchen. Sam washed his hands, dried them on a dish towel, and sat down at the head of the table.

  Sally placed a plate of crackers, assorted cheeses and sliced summer sausage on the table within reach of them both, along with a bowl of seedless grapes.

  “You didn’t have to do all this. I may not want to get back to my work after this attention.” He popped a grape in his mouth and leaned back in the chair. It looked so inadequately small under him, but he managed well enough on it.

  “It’s nothing, really. Just a snack. But later, I’ll be happy to fix a meal. It’s the least I could do after you gave up your Friday night to work.”

  “Now that you mention it, I was wondering why a beautiful woman like you isn’t busy tonight. Men ought to be lined up for miles around for the chance to take you out and show you off.”

  “Oh, no,” she said, her voice wistful, and almost a whisper. “No one’s asked me out in over a year now.”

  He leaned forward and briefly touched her cheek. She inhaled sharply when the pulsating electricity radiated through her body again. I am not imagining this!

  “I find that hard to believe. The men in your circle must be blind and senseless.” He smiled again and she realized the dimple he had on one cheek complimented the dimple on his chin. They weren’t deep, but they were enough to soften the manly, masculine, and perfectly chiseled features of his face. “Maybe even comatose.”

  She looked down, embarrassed and searching for words. “Maybe they are. I’d like to think there’s a reason.” She brought her eyes back to meet his. “Why are you available on a Friday night? Isn’t your wife expecting you home?”

  He leaned back in the chair again and grinned at her with obvious amusement.

  How could I have been so transparent? I’m an idiot. Up your game, girl. You’re acting more like a fawning kid in high school than a grown woman.

  “No, I’m not married. Nor do I have a girlfriend.”

  She leveled her gaze. “All right, so what’s wrong with the women in your circle?”

  He laughed. “Well, there really aren’t many eligible ones, and none I’m interested in. That’s the problem. But right now,” he said, leaning forward, “I’d rather talk about you, and tonight.”

  “Tonight?”

  “Mmmhm. You’re wondering if I want to kiss you.”

  She gasped and stammered. “What? What do you mean?” How could you know what I’m thinking?

  “It’s in your eyes. Look at me. Am I wrong?” His look wasn’t one of amusement, nor was it a look of desire. It was unreadable.

  She felt a compelling need to be honest with him. “I, um, I guess it did cross my mind. I’m sorry, I should let you get back to work.”

  “The answer is yes, I do.”

  He leaned forward and down until their lips met. It was tender yet powerful, and she felt that same shimmering tingle all the way down to her feminine core. He pulled away from her but the warmth lingered inside her. She had to have more. She had to. Now.

  “I think I’d better get back to work now,” he said, pushing his chair back to stand up.

  “No, please, don’t. I want… I want you to…”

  He looked at her and her heart beat faster wondering what he was thinking. “I know what you want.” Now she saw the desire in his eyes.

  He picked her up and carried her into the master suite where he laid her on the bed. She felt his weight on the mattress as he sat beside her. Sam removed her sandals and began undressing her, pulling her sweater off. She was glad she hadn’t worn a bra; in her experience, most men fumble with them. He unfastened her skirt and pulled it off, leaving her in skimpy pink panties. Soon they, too, were on the floor. She cringed inwardly when she remembered she hadn’t been waxed in months.

  “Sally, you’re gorgeous. Head to toe, you are perfectly beautiful.”

  I swear you can read my mind!

  Sam removed his shoes and socks. Sally held her breath as she watched him pull the t-shirt over his head, revealing a body she never even imagined could exist. His shoulders and chest were indescribably broad and muscular, with a good amount of black hair on his chest that tapered in as it approached his navel. His arms were rounded or curved in places with huge muscle bulges. She wondered how she kept from noticing them earlier – surely his t-shirt couldn’t have hidden them. He stood then and unbuttoned his jeans, then unzipped them. As he lowered them, Sally marveled at that pronounced vee on his lower torso where the lower abs meet the obliques. She’d never seen that kind of muscle definiti-

  Oh. My. Word. It’s huge and it’s still mostly flaccid. How is this going to work? She’d always heard the size of things were proportional, but she didn’t dream it could be that big. Well, after all, he was over seven feet tall. I guess it’s true what they say.

  Sam lay down beside her on the bed, supporting himself on his left elbow while his right arm explored. The kisses started gently on her forehead, becoming more eager when his lips found hers.

  Sally’s senses were overloaded. That tingly warmth from his touch – familiar to her now – rushed through her body. Every nerve in her was alive and acutely reactive. She felt as though she glowed, and he wasn’t even fully aroused yet. She’d never experienced anything like this before, and even wondered briefly if her young and healthy heart would survive this. Her own arousal was stronger than any she’d felt before; she felt her juices running down the folds of her skin onto her thighs and buttocks and the sheet beneath her. She felt wild, like a feral cat of the Serengeti, or some otherworldly creature, fierce and frenzied.

  Her arms went up and around Sam’s body, squeezing him and eagerly running her hands all over his skin.

  “Easy, sugar, we can take all the time we need.”

  “No, Sam, I don’t think I can!” She was already breathless. “I’ve never felt like this, and so soon. It’s never been like, I mean, I haven’t gotten so...”

  “I know, sugar, I know. But that’s good – it’ll come in handy in a few minutes.”

  “It’s going to hurt me, isn’t it? Have women had problems with it before?”

  “You’ll be fine. I’ll make it feel really good for you.”

  “It already feels really good for me. I feel like I’m about to come and all you’ve done is kiss me a little.”

  He chuckled. “Then do it. Let go. You’re a woman. You can do it over and over, you know.”

  “Yes, I know, but this isn’t normal. This is something altogether different. You make me feel, um, I don’t know! It’s never been like this before. Such much more intense.”

  He sucked a nipple and ran his tongue over it roughly, then sucked up more of her breast into his mouth. She had the sensation that the jolt traveled from her nipple in a straight line down to the hub of her sex. It sent her inside of herself and outside of herself and into the heavens. The shapes and colors she saw in her closed eyes – this time they shimmered and twirled. Sally rode the high of her climax longer than she th
ought possible; Sam’s mere touch and his little kisses kept her going. As she calmed down, she realized there were goose bumps all over her.

  Sam’s hand stilled on her belly and she felt the heat of his gaze. She gave a satisfied moan and opened her eyes, not surprised that he was watching her closely.

  “That was beautiful to watch, sugar.”

  “It was beautiful from my side, too,” she said lazily as she smiled at him. “Now it’s your turn.” She reached for his length and wondered how much of it would fit inside her.

  “You keep doing that, it feels delicious. But you aren’t done yet. From what I understand of your love life, you’ve got a lot of catching up to do. Let me treat you to a few more of those, before we get to me.”

  “No! Really, I don’t think I can take much more – this has been a shock to my system. Maybe next time I can do more… Oh! I can’t believe I said that! That was presumptuous.”

  “Oh, sugar, there will definitely be a next time. Count on it.” Then he laughed a low, sexy growl. “But we aren’t done with this time yet.”

  His hand ran down her body to her thatch of hair and pulled his fingers through it, gently pulling up the hairs.

  “I promise I’ll get waxed before the next time.”

  “No, sugar, don’t. I like you natural. It’s hotter.”

  “I know, but-”

  He whispered in her ear. “Sally. I said no. Understand?”

  “Yes,” she whispered back.

  His hand lowered to her slit, and found her so very wet. His finger delved into her, and she bucked a little bit. I should have realized his hands were oversized, too! That feels as big as some men’s- She didn’t even bother to consciously finish the thought. His finger slowly circled inside her, touching her inner walls and spreading the tingling warmth. He had barely begun an in and out motion before she came again in an explosion that rivaled the first one.

  When she regained her senses, she found him smiling at her. She reached up and touched his face, running her finger across his lips. “I think it ought to be your turn now.”

  “All right. You talked me into it.” He pushed himself up with his left hand. “Spread your legs some more, sugar. I’m a big man, you know.”

  “Mmm, like the song. You’re a mighty, mighty man.”

  He silenced her with a kiss, then leaned back up and aligned himself with her opening. “Tell me if I’m hurting you.” He pushed the head inside her and looked at her questioningly. She nodded for him to continue. Sally moaned and closed her eyes, savoring the feel of this man inside her. She tightened her muscles in welcome. Soon she realized with utter amazement that he was all the way inside her. There was no pain. She felt filled and tingly with the warmth of him. She inwardly smiled, imagining a shimmering light inside her. It felt more wonderful than that, but she couldn’t think of words to describe it.

  When they were both spent, she lay there with her head at his chest, nestled in his arm. Before long, Sam got up and went into the bathroom.

  * * *

  “Wake up, sugar, I made breakfast.” His lips touched her face near her mouth.

  She opened her eyes, a little disoriented until she remembered whose voice was sending waves of desire straight through her.

  “Is it morning already? I’m sorry – I can’t believe I slept so long. I don’t usually do that. Wait… it was still early when we, um, I’ve been asleep since then?”

  He grinned at her, and looking up at him, she had that inkling again that he read her innermost thoughts.

  She’d never seen eyes like his. Not only were they searing and sexy; they were almost trance-inducing. Too jarring to be true. Was that a spot of shimmering light in his irises?

  “I let you rest. Seemed like you needed it after last night.”

  Her blush returned, along with the memories of the most exquisite feelings she’d ever experienced - at his hands the night before. She could only smile shyly. She reached up to his face and he captured her hand in his. She recalled the thought she had the night before about the size of his hand and his fingers. Seeing how her hand was dwarfed within his, well, it made her smile.

  “Oh, right. Sam, last night was incredible. Can we do that again?”

  “You can count on that, sugar, but right now, jump up so we can eat.”

  “Mmm,” she purred. “Do we have to? I was thinking a repeat performance might be nice.”

  “Yes, it would, and it will be, but right now, let’s eat while the food’s hot. I made bacon, eggs, hash browns with sautéed onion, biscuits and gravy. Come on, lazybones, get up and wash up. I’ll have your coffee waiting.” He turned her over and swatted her bottom playfully before walking back into the kitchen.

  She watched him walk out, admiring his body. Her own broad smile greeted her in the bathroom mirror. How long has it been since I’ve seen this face this happy?

  The smell of bacon and coffee drew her into the kitchen before she’d even buttoned the last two buttons on the long shirt. That and a pair of panties were all she’d thrown on. If she got her way, they’d be off again before long.

  She greeted him with another kiss before filling a plate and sitting down. “I can’t believe you did all this – I never eat this much!”

  “That was clear, sugar, there was a thick layer of dust on your flour canister.”

  “Wait, I don’t think I even had all the ingredients. Did you have to go to the store?”

  He smiled at her and winked. “I’m a big man. Takes a lot to keep me fueled up.”

  “Well, I guess you do need your strength,” she said flirtatiously, “and I definitely want you at the top of your game when we have that repeat performance. Besides, you still have the floor under the lavatory and the ceiling fan to do.”

  “Oh, no, sweet, they’re already done.”

  She was taken aback. When could he have had time to do all that work? Did he work the whole time she slept?

  “What? Surely you didn’t have time to get all that work done? It’s so early.”

  “It’s done. You can check it out after we eat.”

  She was confused. “All right.”

  Will he leave now, now that the work is done? He did say we’d have a repeat performance. He might just be looking for a fun weekend, then he’ll be off and never call me again. We’ll probably go to work Monday and that’ll be the end of it. My luck.

  They cleaned up the breakfast dishes together.

  “All right, sugar, what else do you want done around here? I’m all yours.”

  “I’m not sure I can afford anything else until my next paycheck.”

  He laughed at her. Those ARE points of shimmering light in his eyes! It’s not just a reflection of the light!

  “Sugar, men worth their salt don’t charge their girlfriends for work. We’re glad to do it.”

  “Girlfriend?” She wondered if the relief showed on her face. And the joy. “We just met.”

  “Yes we did, and I’m glad we did. Aren’t you?”

  “I guess I am, but I’m a little suspicious, too, to be honest. This is way too soon.” Boyfriend after only one night? If this happened to any of my friends, I’d tell them to run – he’s probably a stalker or something. How is it that I’m not even worried about that?

  He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her cheek. Unfamiliar warmth enveloped her; she felt a nucleus of it deep inside at her center, radiating outward. “I knew for sure shortly after we met.”

  She touched his hair and ran her fingers through it lovingly. “You seem too good to be true. Am I going to wake up from this? Are you an axe murderer?”

  His eyes twinkled and a lopsided, amused smirk broke out on his face. “It’s no dream. Have you ever known an axe murderer to fix the plumbing first? And you’ll be happy to know that my species is known for stability, good judgment, and we mate for life.”

  Sally laughed out loud, then repeated in jest, “your species…”

  Sam laughed again. “I swear, it’s t
rue. Cross my heart.”

  “Yeah? Well, I have plenty of single friends. Are there any more at home like you?”

  “Yes, ma’am, there are.”

  Before she could say any more, he carried her back into the bedroom.

  Chapter 2: Ella

  Ella Page scrolled down through the online ads looking for someone to repair the holes in her wall where her ex had punched it. Good thing she had quick reflexes, or she would have ended up with a broken nose the last time. It was bad enough that he’d slapped her hard enough to give her a black eye. It was almost gone now, only shades of bruise-yellow still showed, and she was confident that she could cover it if she decided to go out with her girlfriends again soon. She’d told them she was sick so she wouldn’t have to let them see her. She worked from home, and about the only times she left the house were to see her gang or get groceries.

  She envied people who visited their families regularly. Actually, she envied anyone with family. She was the last of hers, and had no siblings. She was the only child of only children who were also only children of only children. No siblings, no parents, no grandparents, no cousins, no extended family anywhere. It was a lonely existence, or at least she suspected it was. She didn’t have any other firsthand point of reference, but she knew other people’s lives seemed different and fuller.

  Ella often dreamed a knight in shining armor would come rescue her from this life. They’d fall madly in love, marry, have a houseful of children, and live happily ever after. She knew it was a common fantasy of the lovelorn and little girls, but she’d had the same dream since childhood and never seemed to outgrow it. She wasn’t going to give it up now when she wanted it more than ever. It was a pity she kept choosing the wrong men. They’d be wonderful at first, and she’d let herself fall for them all too quickly, then they’d turn into ogres.

  This was one of those times when she wished that if she couldn’t have a knight, she could have at least had an older brother or protective male friend to come and take care of her. Or more specifically, beat up her ex and make sure he didn’t come around again. Heaven knows she hadn’t had any success convincing him she was done with him.