I Married an Alien Handyman: A Spicy, Steamy Romp Across Alien Galaxies

by Nora Nolan

  “Oh, wait,” Zoe said. “You need to take us back to McCool’s so we can get our cars.”

  Glen grinned at her. “No we don’t. The cars are already back at home, where they belong.”

  “Don’t tell me. The app did that?”

  He winked at her.

  Chapter 10: Sally and Sam

  Sally and Sam reappeared in Sally’s kitchen, with his arms still holding her tightly. Sally held onto Sam, even when he started to remove his arms from around her.

  “I need something to drink. Then we need to sit down and talk. You want a beer?”

  “I think I could use one,” Sam answered. He plopped himself down on the oversized chair-and-a-half and waved her over to him, motioning for her to sit on his lap.

  “Sam, you know I’m having a hard time believing all this. Is this all an elaborate prank? Please tell me it is.”

  “Sugar, it is definitely not.” He touched her face and that tingly warmth enveloped her.

  “How do you do that? That warming sensation that runs through me every time you touch me?”

  “It’s one of those refinements our scientists managed with our DNA. Men have that touch, but we can control it. If I touched another woman, she wouldn’t feel anything out of the ordinary. We only use it with our mates.”

  “That’s not true – I felt it when I first met you. We weren’t mated then.”

  He gave her an indulgent smile. “Yes we were. You just didn’t know it yet. I knew all about you and I knew you’d be mine. I wasn’t about to let you go, so I used every tool in my arsenal.”

  She smiled at him. “For some reason, I’m hearing that song “You Made Me Love You” in my head.

  He laughed softly and pulled her closer with his left hand as his right hand found her breast.

  “So, I guess sex is about the same on Bargella as it is here?”

  “Yes, and more.”

  “More?”

  Sam gave her a wicked grin. “I think you’ll like it. You know, we men are bigger than earth men.”

  “Yeah, I picked up on that right away.”

  “Not just that. All our needs are bigger. We’re stronger. We eat more. All our appetites are, well, just more. Our desires are deeper, and broader. That includes sexual appetites and desires. Sex usually lasts longer than what you’re accustomed to. Unless, of course, you want a quickie. We can do that, too,” he added, laughing.

  “Oh my. Is that because of what those original hundreds of earth women demanded?”

  He burst out laughing. “Yes, they did want that, but so did my early male ancestors. It’s fun, you know, the sex.”

  “Yes, I know.”

  “And as my mate, I expect you to satisfy my desires. As I’ll do my very best to satisfy yours.”

  She looked into the eyes she wanted looking back at her for the rest of her life, and gave a sassy little shrug. “I can only promise to do my dead level best to satisfy your desires.”

  “I will say you’re off to a very good start. But you need to know, sugar, there will be times when my desires become my demands. Are you prepared for that?”

  “Should I be frightened?”

  He stroked her knee and thigh as his hand made its way up under her skirt, finally landing on her nub, circling it gently, and exuding that tingly, vibrating, penetrating heat. He smiled wickedly. “You should be terrified, sugar. Bargellan women obey their men. There are consequences when they don’t.”

  “Do Bargellan men beat their women?”

  “Never. Punish, yes, but they’d never beat them. At least, you’d probably think of it as punishment.”

  “What does that mean?” She tried to concentrate on the conversation, but his hand still attended that bud of highly concentrated nerve endings.

  Sam moved his hand from her front around to her ass. “We don’t always think of it as punishment. We think of it as bringing a woman around to her man’s way of thinking. This area,” he said as he rubbed her backside, “usually gets a bit of… motivation applied. But that’s not the only way. We can be creative when the situation demands.”

  “How often would this happen?”

  He grinned and tickled her a little, enough to make her flinch and giggle. “Well, that’s entirely up to you, sugar.”

  “Sam, I need to get real here. What about this house? My car? What about my job? What’ll I do on another planet and I can’t believe those words just came out of my mouth.” She shook her head and sighed.

  “We have Bargellans here who’ll take care of getting your house and car sold. Or, we might keep them as housing for the Bargellans who live or visit here.”

  “There are others here?” She asked, wide-eyed.

  “Just a few, scattered around. You’d never know unless I pointed them out. That is, unless you spotted a super tall man, then you might guess. Of course, some earth men are tall, too, you know. The women look just like earth women.”

  “I can’t believe this. It’s a horror movie premise come true. Aliens living among us.”

  Sam opened his eyes wide and let his arms loom over her, slowly making his way to her in a teasing mock-threatening way. He whispered in a menacing tone “We’re everywhere…”

  Sally laughed and slapped his chest away with both hands, right before he turned her over and returned the slaps several-fold on her backside.

  “Okay, okay, I get it!”

  He turned her back upright, both of them still chuckling. After a moment, she continued with her questions.

  “What’ll my life be like there?”

  “Bargella is very much like earth. Most of it is developed, a few isolated places might be what you’d consider your third world countries. It’s a free world, at least where our tribes are, it’s free and civilized.”

  “Would I have a job?”

  “Only if you want one. As my mate, you wouldn’t need to work to make a living. But if you want to, you’re free to if you’d like. You could have a job, or set up your own business, much like you could do here. Or, you could choose not to have an outside job. We have household help. You could even live a life of luxury and decadence if you like. All you have to do is satisfy me.” He kissed her. “You know, speaking of jobs, you could even work for an earth company that allows you to work remotely.”

  “But you said it takes eight days to get here.”

  “It’s eight days for people to travel. Data and voice transfer are immediate. You could be on a conference call from Bargella and they wouldn’t know the difference.”

  She looked at him skeptically. “My cell doesn’t get that kind of reception.”

  “Ours do.”

  Chapter 11: Ella and Mark

  Ella and Mark rematerialized in her living room. She didn’t want to let go of him when their molecular reassembly was complete. He managed to get her beside him on the couch.

  “So… you already knew I wanted to be rescued from here. That I always wanted a larger-than-life hero to carry me away.” She smiled wryly at the term “larger-than-life hero.”

  “I knew.”

  “Did you manipulate Alan to attack me so you could come in and save the day?”

  “No, sweetie, I didn’t. But I did know Alan was escalating and was extremely dangerous. That’s what influenced our timing on this mission. You were right. He planned to kill you. If we’d come sooner, you wouldn’t have known how dangerous he was, and well, we couldn’t wait any longer because of his plans.”

  “Did you kill him?”

  “No, but he’s out of commission for a few months.”

  She looked at him. “Hmm. That’s why your phone didn’t work that day when I tried to call the police. You didn’t want to get the police involved, so you messed with the reception. That makes sense now.” She sighed. “Hey, are we really married?”

  “Yes, but if you want a marriage record on this planet, we can have a ceremony here.”

  She slowly shook her head. “No need. Although it would be nice to know my mar
ried name. What’s my name now? Ella, mate of Mark?”

  He laughed. “That’s your title. We can make your name whatever you want. We took earth surnames thousands of years ago, though, and mine is Mayes. Ours is Mayes, if you choose to take my name. I hope you will, since I’m head of the tribe.”

  “Ella Mayes. I like that.” She remembered something. “Mark, did you heal my bruises?”

  “Sort of. I super-excited the cells and then you healed yourself. I just sped up the process.”

  “Hmmm.” She considered that. “Are health concerns on Bargella the same as here? What’s the life expectancy?”

  “Oh, good question. Life expectancy is much longer. An additional hundred or more years.”

  “Wow! So have you cured cancer or something?”

  “Some forms of the blood and lymphatic types were eradicated shortly after they appeared in Bargellans. Growth of other cancers and other diseases have been retarded significantly. We’ve made great strides in pharmaceuticals and treatments. We can target treatment more specifically, and we’ve virtually eliminated side effects. Pain control has come to the point where the patient has little or no pain, and isn’t incapacitated from the drug or any effects of it. The result is that people live comfortably and normally for far longer than they do here on earth. Mostly, though, as in the case of your bruising, we’re very big on helping the body heal itself.”

  “Why haven’t you shared these things with earth?”

  “We already have scientists from Bargella in your medical and research communities. Progress is slow because we’re not in a position to walk in and say ‘I’m an alien and I can cure your diseases.’”

  “What will my life be like on your planet?”

  “Well, sugar, it’ll be your planet, too. It’s much like it is here, only a few things are different. You’ll be able to step right into it.”

  “Tell me some differences.”

  “The biggest one is travel. When you want to see Sally, for instance, you can beam there, instantly. You don’t have to get in a car or a plane and take up that time.”

  “You really call it beaming, like on Star Trek?”

  He laughed, “We do now. Before Gene Roddenberry, we usually called it teleporting or regenning, short for anatomical dematerialization and regeneration. But we liked the term “beaming” better. As a matter of fact, that technique is one of the methods our medical world has adapted to treat tumors and such inside the body. We can target the tumor, and prevent it from rematerializing within the body during a controlled beam.”

  “Wow – that sounds amazing. So… about travel. Nobody drives anymore?”

  “Yes, they do. Many enjoy it. It’s a choice. Another change is the coffee. Our version is called coffure. We still use the coffee bean, but we’ve modified the plants by suffusing them with choice nutrients. You get a stronger wake-up boost. If you don’t like it, you can replicate earth coffee.”

  “I think I’d like that.” She stood up, then repositioned herself on Mark’s lap. She kissed him, slowly. “So tell me about sex on Bargella.”

  “We, um, appreciate it more than you do here. We enjoy it more often. We spend more time. As my mate, I expect you to satisfy my wants and desires. Just as I intend to satisfy yours. Husbands and wives demand that of each other in my culture. Will that be a problem?”

  “It sounds wonderful! I look forward to it. Matter of fact, I’m having desires right now, and I think you need to attend to my needs.”

  He chuckled. “If you shift just a little on my lap, you’ll find I have a head start. And I expect you to meet my needs, too.” As he spoke, his hands pulled her shirt off her. Her bra fastened in the front, and he unhooked it, removing it, too. Her nipples were rock-hard. He made short work of removing her skirt, then her panties.

  “There. That’s just the way I want you.” He played with her breasts, taking them in his huge hands and teasing her nipples with his fingers and thumb.

  “That’s not fair, you still have your clothes on.”

  “Yes, ma’am, I do. I like having you naked. It makes me feel powerful. In charge.”

  She giggled. “You are powerful and in charge. Will you at least let me take off your shirt?”

  “I guess I can still be in charge without a shirt.”

  She pulled his shirt over his head, as he leaned up a bit to give her better access.

  “Oh, Mark, I love your body. It, it just does things to me, makes we want you.”

  He grinned at her. “Are you saying you’re only attracted to me because of how I look?”

  “No,” she said, sobering a little, “You’re my knight who rode in to save me. I don’t know what kind of extra magic you may be using on me, but I love everything about you. I love that you’ll take me far away from here. And I even love that you’ll demand that I satisfy your desires. It makes me feel kind of… wantonly wanted.” She planted little kisses on his neck and shoulders.

  “Oh, you are definitely wantonly wanted. Right now, it’s my desire to give you pleasure. Here, straddle my legs. Now kneel up, so you aren’t sitting on my thighs. That’s it.” He looked at her wickedly. “Now hold your hands behind your back. Leave them there until I tell you.”

  “But I want to kiss you and run my hands all over you!”

  He swatted her buttocks.

  “This is what I want right now. You’ll have plenty of time to do that. Do you understand?”

  “Yes.” She whispered, already becoming heated in her own desire.

  His hands began at her face, cupping her cheeks, then slowly making their way down, touching nearly every inch of skin that was exposed to him. That tingly, pulsating warmth enveloped her. She felt her womanly juices flow, and she knew that soon they’d be dripping down her thighs, onto his pants legs. His hands went to her breasts, cupping, squeezing them. He took her nipples, teasing them between his thumbs and forefingers.

  Ella would have sworn that the heat of his touch intensified and concentrated on her hardened nipples. The sensation was far deeper than the mere touch of a man’s hand. It was more akin to a sensation of being jolted by a sexual electricity; the waves entered her breasts and traveled directly downward to her feminine center. She had to close her eyes to keep from seeing Mark, because it was nearly impossible to see him and not touch him with her hands. She wanted to caress him, squeeze him, dig her nails into him.

  Her breath was fast and shallow. He’s only touching my nipples – how can I have an orgasm from that? He touched them. He tweaked them. He pinched and rolled them between his thumbs and fingers. He pulled up on them, suspending the weight of her breasts by them. Then he dropped them, removing his touch completely.

  Ella opened her eyes and cried out. “Mark, please, touch me again! Touch my nipples again. Please! I’m almost there, baby.”

  “No, sweetie. Touch them yourself. I’m going to do this.” He moistened his thumb in her wetness and rubbed her clitoris with one hand, while he delved two fingers up inside her with the other.

  She wasted no time letting her hands fly to her own nipples, but the difference in sensation was a disappointment. While it felt nice, her own hands didn’t deliver that tingly, pulsating heat sensation that drove her mad with need.

  “It’s not the same, Mark. I need you!”

  He was torn between prolonging this game and giving her the release she wanted. Considering they hadn’t departed for Bargella yet and she could conceivably want to back out, he decided to give in to her. He picked her up off his lap and set her down to sit on the couch as he knelt on the floor before her. He pulled her to the edge and spread her legs, throwing them over his shoulders. His hands went to her nipples as he lowered his head to the juncture of her thighs.

  “Okay, sugar, you’ve got me.”

  Chapter 12: Cheryl and Paul

  Cheryl and Paul regenerated in her kitchen. The first thing she noticed, still standing with his arms around her, were the colorful flowers and greenery in the flowerbox on
the outside of her kitchen window.

  “When did you replant the flowerboxes?”

  He laughed at her. “After what we just revealed to you, that’s what you have a question about? I did it the same day I fixed the floor.”

  “I guess I didn’t notice,” she said, running her hand through her hair and letting out a sigh. “Listen, I’m hungry and I don’t feel like cooking anything. Would you rather have Chinese or pizza?”

  “Chinese. I’ll call FuLin’s and order the same thing we had the other day. That all right?”

  “Perfect.”

  Sam made the call while Cheryl went to the fridge. She held up a beer bottle questioningly toward him and he nodded yes as he gave his order over the phone. They sat down at the table to wait for delivery.

  “Cheryl, baby, what do you think about all this?”

  “I’m wondering what all I’ll have to give up if I go with you.”

  “You’ll be eight days away from here. I would say your family is the only thing you need to consider. But voice and data communications are immediate, so you could still talk to them whenever you want, or send texts and emails. I’d leave it to you whether or not you want to tell them the truth, but I recommend that you not do it. That’s your choice.”

  “I only have a brother and his family on the west coast, and I only see them about every other year. We do talk and send emails to keep in touch, though, so that’s good. We’ll have to come up with a story about where we live, though. If you think it’s best I don’t tell them the truth, then I won’t.”

  “Good girl.” Those words still made her blush and he knew it. He liked keeping her just a little off her game.

  “What about my house? And my job?”

  “My people can sell your house for you. Tell me how much you’re attached to your job.”

  She shrugged. “I guess I’m not. I sort of freelance on temporary programming jobs. I do some web design.”

  “If you enjoy doing it, there’s no reason why you can’t continue it. Obviously it wouldn’t work if you had to physically be there, but you can still do that from a distance. Look, baby, I’m a tribal chieftain. That’s kind of like a king,” he said, trying not to sound elitist. “You’re free to work if you want to, I’ll support you in your choice. But you certainly don’t have to.”