Harlequin Love Inspired March 2021--Box Set 1 of 2

by Marta Perry

  He knocked twice.

  She opened the door, and her eyes grew round. “What are you doing here?”

  Not the most welcoming words, but he’d take them. “Can we talk?”

  Her eyelashes fluttered, but she moved aside to let him in. She’d changed into leggings and a long exercise shirt. Her slim gracefulness captivated him as he followed her to the living room.

  “Is something going on? Is it the girls?” Eden sat down, concern radiating from her brown eyes.

  “No, nothing’s wrong.” He took a seat on the couch. “It’s about Lily’s visit.”

  “Oh, right. I actually meant to speak to you about it earlier, and it slipped my mind. Don’t worry—I know it’s important for the girls to spend some good quality time with their mom. I’ll stay away.”

  “I would never ask you to stay away. In fact, I’m asking the opposite. I was hoping you could help me out this weekend.”

  “Help you? How?”

  “Chris has the weekend off, and one of my ranch hands might not be able to help me out, which means I need to do the things he normally does on Saturday and Sunday morning. So regardless if Lily comes—”

  “If she comes? Did she say she might not?”

  “No.” He kept his voice even. “But a last-minute cancellation is always possible. And either way, she might not get to the ranch early enough for me to leave the girls to check on the cattle.”

  Understanding washed away the worries on Eden’s face. “Oh, I understand now. Yes, I can come early both days. I’ll stay with them while you deal with the ranch. Then, when Lily arrives, I’ll get out of everyone’s hair.”

  Get out of their hair? What was she talking about? He immediately glanced at her silky hair and wanted to run his fingers through it.

  “You’re not in anyone’s hair. You wouldn’t be in the way. You’re an important part of our lives.”

  She looked stricken. What had he said now? It had been a good long while since he’d put his foot in his mouth with her. He didn’t even know how he’d offended her this time, but it was obvious by her pale face that he had.

  “Look, Eden,” he said, moving his neck back and forth to work out the kinks. “Lily might seem like this special movie star, but she’s just a person the same as you and me. When I met her, I was starstruck, so I get it. And the fact she even gave me the time of day blew my mind back then. Lily has a way about her—she has charisma. She can be nice, generous. She pulls you into her orbit.” He still remembered that light, anything-is-possible feeling he’d gotten when they’d first met.

  “She’s always been one of my favorite actresses.” Eden averted her eyes.

  “Most people put Lily on a pedestal. Maybe we all expect her to be as amazing as the characters she plays on television and in movies. I don’t know.”

  A sense of heaviness weighed on his shoulders. He’d been over every nuance in their relationship a hundred times or more. At first he’d blamed himself. Then he’d blamed her.

  But the truth was they both were to blame.

  “Have you ever been in love?” he asked quietly.

  Eden froze. Blinked. Didn’t answer.

  Of course she’d been in love. That was why she wasn’t married—she’d loved and lost, too. Jealousy built inside him, spinning like a tornado at the thought of anyone letting her down.

  She stood and crossed to the window, looking out onto the neighboring yard with her arms over her chest. Ryder padded over to stand behind her. He set his hands on her shoulders. Her head jerked to look back at him, but she didn’t step away from his touch.

  “Whoever he is—was—he doesn’t deserve you.” His voice was low, husky.

  Lily had been smoke and mirrors.

  Eden was genuine. The real deal.

  She turned then. Slowly. Deliberately. But she didn’t create distance between them. They were only inches from each other, and she looked up at him through those piercing, soulful eyes.

  His heart slammed into his ribs. He caressed her upper arms as he drew her closer. He couldn’t look away from her lips.

  Her hands crept up and slipped around his neck. Uncertainty and fascination warred in her eyes. He couldn’t take the suspense a minute longer. Dropping his hands to her waist, he lowered his mouth to hers.

  She was delicate but strong, soft but firm. Impressions raced through his mind—of his lonely childhood, the sheep trailers in the middle of nowhere, the hollowness he’d felt after Grandma died, the kick in the gut when Lily left him—and all of them spun together and burst into tiny pieces as the kiss promised he never needed to be alone again.

  Eden was who he’d been waiting for his entire life.

  And he hadn’t known it until now.

  He kissed her deeply, reveling in the curve of her body near his. Finally, he broke away from the kiss. The revelations he’d just learned still thrummed in his head.

  He’d promised himself he wasn’t falling in love again. No marriage for him. He wasn’t putting himself through the pain of trusting someone and getting cheated on and discarded ever again.

  But Eden made him want to.

  Even if he lost it all.

  CHAPTER TEN

  “Dandy jumped on my flowerpot!” Tears swam in Ivy’s eyes.

  Eden scooped up the rambunctious kitten and set it on the floor of the family room, where she’d arranged a long folding table. A lime-green felt mouse caught her eye, and she tossed it across the room, where the kitten sprinted after it. The girls were painting flowerpots for their mother, and tomorrow they’d fill them with potting soil and plant gerbera daisies to give to Lily. Well, they would be if Eden could concentrate.

  Her head was filled with memories of last night’s kiss.

  “There. Dandy’s gone.” Eden scrunched her nose to smile at Ivy.

  When Ryder had assumed she’d been in love and claimed the man didn’t deserve her, she’d almost laughed—she’d never been in love. But this morning, after a sleepless night, she’d realized she was wrong.

  She was in love.

  And the revelation colored everything, because nothing could come of it. Especially after hearing him talk about Lily’s good traits. Sure, he’d accepted their marriage was over. But what woman could ever live up to his ex-wife? Not her.

  “Everything’s dirty!” Ivy had been emotionally fragile yesterday, and today everything was setting her off. Eden could only assume Lily’s impending visit was the cause.

  “Dandy didn’t mean it, Ivy.” Harper slid out of the chair and hugged her sister.

  “I know.” Ivy sniffed, wiping under her eyes. “But I want the flowers to be perfect for Mommy.”

  “They don’t have to be perfect, Ivy.” Eden walked around the table and kneeled between the twins. She put her arms around each of their shoulders. “Your mom is going to love them because you gave them to her.”

  “It’s ugly now.” Ivy’s voice broke as she pointed to the colorfully painted clay pot with drips of paint smeared down the side.

  Eden reached for a roll of paper towels, tore one off and carefully wiped the smears. “There. All better.”

  Ivy inspected it and let out a shaky breath.

  “You know you don’t have to be perfect for your mommy to love you, right?” Eden asked.

  Ivy averted her eyes, but Harper glued her attention to Eden.

  “What’s the book the pastor reads from every Sunday in church?” Eden asked as she went back to her seat across the table from them.

  “The Bible.” Harper propped her elbows on the table. Ivy climbed into her chair and slumped.

  “Right. And the Bible is God’s word. He tells us we can’t be perfect, because we all sin. But—” Eden held up her index finger “—since Jesus died for us, we don’t have to be perfect. He was perfect for us. He takes away all our sins.”
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  “But that’s Jesus.” Ivy met her eyes then. “Not Mommy.”

  “That’s true, but I happen to know you have a daddy and mommy who love you very much, and they don’t expect you to be perfect, either.” As she said it, doubts tiptoed through her mind. Ivy was extremely hard on herself. Had Lily made her feel that way? Or was it a natural reaction to missing her mother?

  God, please give me the right words for these children.

  “I wish Mommy lived here,” Ivy said almost under her breath.

  “She’s not going to live here, Ivy, even if your pot’s perfect.” Harper’s voice rose sternly.

  Ah… A wave of understanding came over Eden. Ivy blamed herself for Lily being gone.

  “Girls, let’s take a break from painting. Go wash your hands, and when you come back, we’re going to sit together and talk.”

  Neither looked happy about it, but they slunk away to the bathroom anyway. Eden wasn’t great at pep talks, but the twins clearly needed one. She could hear them talking from the other room.

  “If she likes it here, she’ll stay…” Ivy’s voice rose.

  “She won’t.”

  “She might.”

  “Mommy never stays.”

  “This time she will. She’ll see Daddy. He’s the most handsomest daddy there is, and she’ll hug him and he’ll say he’s sorry, and she’ll stay forever.”

  “She’s not gonna.” Harper’s voice was sharp.

  Oh, no. Ivy wanted her parents to get back together. Of course.

  The girls wanted their mother here for good. And from everything Ryder had told her, it wasn’t going to happen.

  An icky sensation climbed her throat. How could she be in love with Ryder when the twins needed Lily?

  Oh, Lord, I’ve been wrong. I haven’t been thinking about these precious girls. I’ve been thinking about myself. I don’t know how to reassure them, but they’re hurting so badly. Please give me the words to help them. Let me put their needs first.

  She took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. They were in the bathroom scowling at each other, and she herded them back into the family room. The three of them sat on a big comfy chair. Harper laid her head against Eden’s upper arm, but Ivy held herself stiffly.

  “Girls, I know you’re hurting. This isn’t easy. Living without your mother isn’t easy.”

  Ivy gazed up at her through watery eyes.

  “But I don’t want you to doubt her love for you. And I don’t want you to doubt your daddy’s love, either. They both love you. And you’ll always be a family, even if it doesn’t look the way you’d hoped.”

  Ivy seemed skeptical, and Harper burrowed against her arm.

  “I wish families always stayed together.” Eden was extra thankful for her parents at this moment. “But sometimes they don’t, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

  “But…” Ivy’s mouth twisted. “I want Mommy to live here.”

  “I know, sweetheart.” Eden smoothed her hair.

  “She’s so pretty. Prettier than Cinderella.” Ivy looked perplexed. “When Daddy sees her, he’ll kiss her and they’ll live here together happily ever after.” She peered over to Harper. “Won’t they, Harper?”

  “That’s a cartoon.” Harper shook her head. “Mommy isn’t going to stay here no matter how pretty she is.”

  “But Daddy can tell her…”

  This wasn’t going well. And thinking about Ryder seeing his beautiful ex and falling in love with her all over again wasn’t helping Eden, either. Because it very well could happen.

  “Ivy, you know Mommy has a boyfriend.” Harper glared at her sister.

  “He’s old and ugly!” The girl was on the verge of losing it.

  Frankly, Eden was on the verge, too, if this conversation continued much longer.

  “It doesn’t matter what anyone looks like,” Eden said. “What counts is in here.” She pointed to her heart. “God looks at the heart, not at your outward appearance. What kind of person you are is what makes you attractive.”

  “What do you mean?” Harper twirled a section of Eden’s hair around her finger.

  “Well, what do you love and admire about Ivy?” Eden asked.

  “She gives me her best stickers when I’m sad. She lets me sleep with Fluffybear if I have a bad dream.”

  Eden kissed the top of her head. “And Ivy, what do you love and admire about Harper?”

  “She’s brave. She doesn’t squish the bugs she finds—she makes houses for them—and she jumps off the picnic table even though it’s really high. And she always knows when I’m sad. She hugs me.”

  Okay, it was her turn to get teary eyed. She willed her emotions back in place. “The things you described have nothing to do with your pretty blue eyes or your cute noses, do they?” Eden looked at Ivy, then Harper.

  “No.” Harper shook her head.

  “That’s what I mean. Your beauty comes from who you are, not what you look like. And both of you are very beautiful on the inside.”

  Harper hugged her neck and whispered softly in her ear, “I love you, Auntie Eden.”

  Sweeter words had never been spoken. She kissed Harper’s cheek. “I love you, too.” Then she kissed Ivy’s cheek. “And I love you.”

  They hugged her tightly.

  “Okay, we’d better get these pots painted. We still have a lot of surprises to prepare for your mommy.”

  As Eden watched the girls skip over to the table with renewed enthusiasm, her mood plummeted. They hadn’t recovered from the divorce, didn’t understand why Lily wasn’t around, and wanted their parents back together. They needed a delicate touch right now.

  It would be cruel to pursue a relationship with Ryder if it meant hurting the twins. She’d keep her feelings hidden, and maybe someday, her love would fade.

  * * *

  “The coast is clear. What’s going on?” Ryder checked one more time to verify the girls were far enough away in the backyard so that he and Eden could talk openly. The four of them had eaten turkey sandwiches and pasta salad outside before the girls ran off to chase butterflies. He was glad Eden had stayed for supper. It had been a while since she’d stayed to eat with them. He watched her expectantly. She’d claimed they needed to talk.

  He could guess why.

  The kiss. The over-the-top, incredible kiss that had left him shaken and confused and more scared of his feelings than ever.

  He loved her.

  And he couldn’t do a thing about it.

  What was she going to say? That it was inappropriate for him to have kissed her? He never should have crossed that boundary? She didn’t like him that way?

  He could handle the first options, but the last one would hurt. It hadn’t been that long ago since she told him she wasn’t attracted to him because he looked exactly like Mason.

  His neck tensed as he waited for her to reject him. Again.

  “The girls were wound up today.” Her words were so quiet he almost asked her to repeat them. He hadn’t been expecting a conversation about the twins.

  “I think they—Ivy in particular—are hoping you and Lily will get back together.”

  Him and Lily? Back together?

  The thought was ludicrous and he would have laughed, but Eden’s serious expression killed his humor.

  “Why would they think that? I don’t talk about her. She barely calls or visits.” He rubbed his chin. Had Lily said something to make them believe they’d get back together? When could the subject have even come up? He’d been there for every short call, and he hadn’t caught a hint of it.

  “I think it’s a normal reaction of kids whose parents have divorced. Plus, I could be wrong, but it seems as if Ivy is putting a lot of pressure on herself right now.”

  “What kind of pressure?” His gaze traveled to where the
girls crouched over something in the grass. Then they were up and running once more.

  “It’s almost as if she thinks she has to be perfect—that everything has to be perfect—when Lily comes. I wonder if she blames herself in some way for her mother not being around.”

  “Why would she think that?” His spine grew rigid. “The problems were between Lily and me. Not the girls.”

  “It doesn’t have to make sense to be true,” Eden said softly.

  He couldn’t argue with that. “I’ll talk to them.”

  “What will you say?” Her eyes held no judgment.

  “I don’t know. I’ll figure something out.” He rubbed the back of his neck. How was he supposed to handle this? He didn’t know where to start.

  Eden seemed withdrawn. Subdued. He knew he was to blame.

  “Look, about last night…”

  Her wan smile hit him in the chest. “Let’s not talk about it. We both know nothing can come of it.”

  Logic told him she was correct. In fact, he’d told her as much more than once. Told himself the same, too. But hearing it on her lips only made him want to dig in and prove her wrong.

  “I care about you.” He reached over and covered her hand with his.

  “I know.” She slipped her hand free. “I also know you have good reasons why you’re against a serious relationship. You haven’t been shy about them, and I appreciate that you opened up about your marriage. But I think you’re right. The twins have different emotional needs at this time.”

  He should be relieved, but he wasn’t. Was this about marriage? The twins? Or her own lack of feelings for him?

  “Do me a favor and be extra patient with Ivy.” Eden stared at him then. He felt like he was swirling into the depths of her inner world.

  She had a heart bigger than the sun.

  “I guarantee they’re picking flowers for their mother.” A smile teased her lips. “You have the most precious, thoughtful daughters.”