Just Love Me

by Traci Sek

  “Anyway, it has been brought to my attention that there is some bullying going on on the floor. Let me be clear that we do not tolerate any bullying whatsoever. We are a team and we work together no matter race or gender. I know we have extremely different personalities, but that is why we do so well. We need to channel those personalities and make great things with them. Now I know we are not always going to get along with each other, but we have to try. Anyone caught bullying will be immediately let go. We are not in high school anymore. We are grown adults in a work environment.”

  She looked around slowly at the crowd. “Do we all understand?”

  “Yes ma’am,” we all say in unison. “Great. now get back to work!”

  Everyone started to file out either whispering as they stared at me or typed away at their phones ignoring me completely. My insides twisted with anxiety. I felt the urge to vomit rising slowly in my throat. Forcing my way out, I ran to the bathroom and allowed the contents of breakfast to spill out into the toilet.

  How can I handle this? If anything that meeting made things so much worse for me. They all clearly know it was me who tattled and now I’ll have a target on my back. I’m going to kill him when I see him.

  I forced myself to finish my tasks for the rest of the day, glancing every few minutes at the clock. I thanked the heavens that I didn’t have to face any of them, at least not until it was time to leave. My phone pinged in my pocket, making me grab it, opening up the message from Jake.

  ‘Hey babe, I’m running behind today. Can you meet me up in my office? I’ll have food waiting.’

  I was so mad at him that I almost texted back no, but my stomach had other plans. Rumbling loudly to let me know I was indeed hungry.

  ‘Ok,’ Is all I could manage to text back. Maybe he would get the hint that I was mad at him.

  As soon as the clock struck five, I ran out of the office, speeding for the elevators not looking in anyone's direction. Unfortunately I’m not as quick as some as a few jump in with me. I pressed the ninth floor button with my shaky fingers and leaned back against the wall. A few people gave me a weird look but didn't say anything. Of course the elevator ascended, letting me off before the others.

  They watched with amusement as I walked off the elevators and straight for Jake’s office.

  “Good afternoon Miss Emily. How are you today?”

  “Hello, I’m ok, how are you?”

  “Fine thank you. Jake is expecting you, just go right in.” I nodded in response as my clammy hands grasped on to the door handle opening the door swiftly.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Emily

  I tried to hold my feelings together as I walked into his office, but as soon as my eyes landed on his, my resolve broke and I couldn’t help but to burst into tears. He ran over and grabbed my shoulders but I couldn’t look at him.

  “Emily what happened? What’s wrong?”

  I looked up at him and rubbed my eyes. "I don't fit into this life."

  "What do you mean?"

  “You told your sister what happened! I can’t believe you would do that! If they didn’t hate me then, they do now. And what makes it worse is that everyone knows I’m your girlfriend now!”

  He frantically searched my eyes which then scrunched up with confusion. His lips were pursed out as if he were trying to figure out a difficult puzzle.

  “Wait, that's a bad thing?”

  “Yes Jake!” I said exasperated, ripping myself from his loose grip.

  “I’m sorry babe, I don’t understand.”

  “Of course you don’t! Don’t you get it? Every girl on the design floor except your sister has this huge crush on you! They go all googly eyed at the mere mention of your name! That’s why Lisa gave me a hard time when I asked what floor you were on that day. She acted like you were her property and she was the lioness!”

  He let out a laugh but I gave him the death glare. When he saw this his face immediately changed back into a frown. “I’m glad you think that's funny! Have you slept with any of them?”

  His eyes grew wide as his hands flailed around in the air as if he were drowning. “No! Absolutely not! I can say that with a hundred percent satisfaction. I mean there was a girl here but not on that floor, totally different! Not that that’s relevant to this conversation or anything.” He cleared his throat looking everywhere but me. “I swear Emily, I haven't slept with any of them. Nor do I want to.”

  “That’s comforting!” I rolled my eyes sarcastically. “And why did you have to go and tell your sister? Did you know she had a team meeting today about it? She might as well have put me under a neon sign that screams it was her!”

  “All I said was that she needed to get a hold of her employees because there was a situation that got out of hand. I think she guessed on her own. Ashley may play dumb but she’s in fact very smart.”

  “I can’t work here. I just can’t. I don't like the things these people do and say and the way they dress and the way they eat! Everything is just too much!”

  Jake came up behind me. His body heat radiated off of him like the sun's rays. My will dissolved in an instant and I hated that he had that effect on me. I leaned into him inhaling his sweet cologne that sent a comforting wave to my brain and a shiver down my spine. My eyes fluttered closed as he rubbed my bare arms up and down.

  “Why do you want to be with a girl who doesn't fit in with this world?" I whispered which made his hands stop moving, only to swing me around. His eyebrows furrowed together into a scowl. He was angry but not as angry as my father was. He always had a look of fury in his eyes. Although Jake’s body language screamed angry his eyes told a different story. They were enough to make you melt into a pool of oblivion. They held so much love and compassion it was almost unbearable.

  "I don't give a shit about this world. All I care about is you. I love you Emily, not because you are having my baby,” My heart fluttered at the sound of those words. “But because of your personality. Your ability to bring me out of that dark place I seemed to be stuck in. Your patience and understanding is impeccable. I’m in awe of who you are and the strong woman you are becoming. You won’t let your past hold you back and now neither will I. Don’t let those other immature people make you feel anything less than worthy and beautiful.”

  The tears I was holding back came down full force like a river damn that had been broken into a million pieces. This man had done more for me than I could ever have done for him but yet he still thought I was the one who saved him. We saved each other and without him I didn’t know where I would be at that moment. This must be what everyone calls pregnancy hormones. Angry one minute and a pool of mush the next. Let’s not forget being hungry.

  I pulled his face in for a needy kiss but pulled away a minute later reluctantly as a knock on the door brought us back to reality. “Mr. Williams, your food is here.”

  “Come in and leave it in the normal place.” He said without breaking our eye contact. The door springs open as two men bring in bags of food.

  “How much dinner did you order exactly?” I eyed him with suspicion.

  “Well I didn’t know what you were craving and when you texted ok I just took it upon myself to order whatever.” He shrugged as if it were no big deal.

  “That ‘ok’ text was an angry text. I was so mad at you I figured you would get the hint.”

  “Oh.” He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “Yeah I didn’t pick up on that.”

  I playfully rolled my eyes again and pushed his chest, making him stumble back a bit. “Of course you didn’t.” I headed over to all the different boxes now lined up on a few folding tables before stacking my plate in an abnormal sort of way. He eyed my ever mounting plate as I sat down near him. “What?”

  “Nothing.” He smirked before looking away.

  “Hey, I haven't tried any of this food ever. That’s all! I probably won't even finish any of it.”

  “Baby it’s ok you don’t have to explain your pregnancy
hormones to me. I get it.”

  We bantered back and forth for a while making the mood lighten and after I had completed most of my plate, I pushed it aside and sat on his lap sideways. It had become my favorite place to sit. My arms slinked around his neck loosely as I gave him a peck on the cheek. His body relaxed as he sighed, wrapping his arms around my torso.

  “Will you promise me something?” He asked quietly. His green eyes sparkle with contentment.

  “That depends on what.”

  “Promise me that you will visit me from time to time. I don't want work to interfere with our relationship."

  I smiled at him as I placed my fingers through his hair.

  "I promise."

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Emily

  The next few months blew by pretty quickly. I had quit the next day when I called Ashley over the phone. She apologized to me and understood why I had made that decision. That night she went into labor and twenty four hours later, Elliott was born. Jake insisted we go to the hospital to see him and I even got to hold him in my arms. The nerves that coursed through me at first were indescribable. The fear of dropping this tiny creature was ten fold. But once he was in my arms for a few minutes, I realized how amazing the feeling was, how soft and gentle Elliott was.

  He was the most precious thing I had ever seen. When I glanced up at Jake, I could see the longing in his eyes. But along with that, the fear, the knowledge that soon it would be his turn. I pierced him with the most loving eyes I could find and we seemed to have an agreement with each other. That we would both be ok as long as we had each other.

  I noticed a big difference in Jake. I could tell he was really trying to work on his anger and with his issues with his mother's accident. He had since changed therapists to a male named Jeremy and I appreciated that. We had gone through every cabinet and threw out every alcohol bottle we could find, promising me he wouldn’t drink anymore. I was so proud of him.

  My belly now stuck out a few inches making it look like I had swallowed a small ball. Jake loved to rub my stomach everytime he got home because he said it soothed him from a long day at work. I was in my second trimester according to all the self help books I had purchased from the book store. The sickness I had been feeling forever had finally subsided, only to be replaced with the urge to want to jump on Jake every five seconds. Of course he didn’t mind.

  Today I was going to the doctor to get a checkup and Jake was supposed to meet me there for support. I sent him a quick text to remind him in which he immediately responded. Another thing that changed in him, was the fact that he jumped at everything. Every time I called his name or even looked at him. It was adorable.

  Sitting in the back seat of the company car, I stared out of the window. I was being driven to the doctor's office because Jake insisted I didn't drive. He was afraid of the, as he put it, crazy lunatics on the road. As we pulled up and the driver opened the door for me, my nerves started to get the best of me. This was the second to last thing that made this whole experience all too real. I looked at the double glass doors as people entered and exited with smiles on their faces.

  "Are you ok ma'am?" I looked at the driver and nodded. I held my head up in confidence and walked through the doors.

  I checked in and told the receptionist to look out for Jake. She agreed and told me to have a seat. I wasn't alone. The whole room was full of pregnant women of all different sizes. They read magazines or tapped away on their phones. Some had their significant others with them.

  After about twenty minutes of waiting and watching the happy people get called back, Jake walked in. He walked up to the receptionist who pointed in my direction. His face lit up as he turned and spotted me, strolling over to me with a big bright smile. Bending over, he placed a kiss on my lips, before taking a seat. My heart warmed as he grabbed my hand. I placed my head on his shoulder and sighed. I couldn't help notice all the stares I was suddenly receiving. I just chuckled to myself.

  "You ok baby?" He asked.

  I looked up at him and gave him a half smile. "Yeah just loving all the looks they are giving me ever since you’ve entered the building." He glanced around and then laughed.

  "I'm sorry, just ignore them. They are bored stay at home wives who believe everything they read in those stupid magazines."

  "I don't want to be like them Jake."

  "Babe, no matter what happens, I can promise you that you will never be like them. Your heart is too good." He gave me a beaming smile that could melt an iceberg. Damn him and his perfect smiles.

  “Emily?”

  I glanced up to see a nurse holding the door open looking around at all the faces. We both stood up and headed towards her. We followed her down a narrow hallway in which she opened up a small door.

  "Right in here please." I headed straight for the large plastic chair as Jake sits himself down on a smaller chair in the corner. The nurse handed me a plastic looking gowned and told me to undress and put it on. I stared at Jake blushing like crazy. He seemed to get the hint and shook his head as he turned around and sighed. "You do know we do this every night, right?"

  I smiled. "Yes. Duh. It's just awkward in public. And we do it with dim lighting where you are distracting me from my thoughts plus you get naked too."

  He didn't say anything but laughed instead. I climbed up onto the chair and allowed him to turn around. "Thanks, babe, for coming." He kissed me on the forehead.

  "You know I wanted to be here." There's a knock on the door as the doctor enters. She's older in her early retirement ages. Jake had said that she was the doctor that delivered him and his siblings which is why he picked her.

  "Hello Emily. How are we doing today?"

  "Fine."

  "Good afternoon Mr. Williams. So glad you could join us."

  "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

  I internally rolled my eyes at him. She rolled a little machine over to my left side and turned it on.

  "First I'm going to check you for any problems down in your vaginal area and then I will do the sonogram so we can finally see what you're having ok?"

  "Ok." Heat rushed to my face as I glanced at Jake who rolled his eyes. He kissed my temple and looked away for a moment.

  She put her gloves on and did the examination as I closed my eyes tight. I didn't want to see the look on her face, it was too embarrassing.

  "Alright everything looks good. No problems to report. Now at this stage, four months in, the baby is going to start to move if you haven't felt it already?”

  “Not yet I mean I feel a lot of fluttering but nothing super noticeable.”

  “Are you still feeling nauseated?”

  “Surprisingly no. Sometimes I get a little wave of dizziness.”

  She jotted what I said down on her clipboard and nodded her head. “And you haven't seen any leaking of any sort or having any contractions?”

  “No thankfully.” I sighed and glanced at Jake as he squeezed my hand for support.

  “That’s great news. I’m just going to take your blood pressure and I’m going to need you to do two things for me after this visit.”

  “Alright.”

  “I’m going to give you a referral to get some bloodwork done. It’s standard for the second trimester. They just make sure that you don't have gestational diabetes. It’s a fasting blood work though. They will explain all the details to you when you make the appointment. Then the second thing I need you to do is set up an appointment with Mercy hospital to get a more in depth screening on the baby. Don’t worry we just want to make sure that there are no abnormalities with the growth of the baby. Again both of these are just standard procedures that we really encourage first time mothers to get.”

  I was momentarily stunned at all the things I suddenly had to do. An overwhelming feeling washed over me as I tried to catch my breath.

  “We will definitely get that stuff done and have it all sent to you before the next appointment.” Jake said.

  “No hu
rry. I don’t need to see you again for another couple months. When you start getting further along, the visits will become more frequent.” She smiled at me as she took my blood pressure. “Your blood pressure looks great, are you ready to take a look at the baby?”

  I nodded my head in response. The doctor gave me a blanket for my legs as she pulled the gowned up revealing my baby bump. She squirted some gel on my stomach and started to roll a small device around. The screen lit up and a faint heartbeat resonated throughout the tiny room.

  "That’s a good heartbeat, means the baby is healthy." She smiled at me and I felt Jake squeeze my hand again. An unknown emotion started to creep up in my chest and I felt like crying. The doctor started to point to each body part as I stared in awe at the screen.

  "Would you like to find out the sex today?” We both stared at the screen listening to the pitter patter. I glanced at Jake and he nodded.

  “Yes.”

  “Although it's not one hundred percent accurate, I’m about eighty percent sure it's a girl.” That's when the tears hit me full force. I'm having a girl. I was going to be a mother of a girl. Words failed me at that moment. Jake's strong soft hand brushed away my tears that were streaming down my cheeks.

  "Emily. It's ok to feel emotional. You are overwhelmed which is normal for all first time moms. Don't worry. It will be ok."

  "I know." I said. She turned off the machine and rubbed my stomach dry.

  "Alright you are free to go. Don’t forget to make all the appointments and you guys have a wonderful day.”

  "Thank you, doctor." Jake finally spoke. She smiled and left the room. Jake turned around again to let me get dressed. He then embraced me with a hug. My head buried in his chest soaking in the warmth of his presence.

  “Are you excited to be having a girl?” He mumbled from the top of my head.

  “Yes. I'm very excited, but I'm very overwhelmed.”

  “I know but you got this, and you have me. Don’t worry, ok? Let me do the worrying for you.” I snorted at his corny line. “I love you.”

  “I love you too babe.”

  Chapter Thirty-Nine