Hormotional
Page 10
For Lincoln, that was HUGE.
So, the guys listened closely as Luke explained that perimeter cameras, which Ram set up, weren’t enough of a deterrent for potential criminals. Apparently, motion detectors and IP cameras were the most effective way to protect my investment. I argued that my shot gun and the imaginary Rottweiler I owned were plenty, but even the guys agreed with Luke. They agreed because we did churn out a lot of cars. Some were expensive, most average, but all were my responsibility when they were on my property. That didn’t include the amount of cash invested in tools and shop equipment either. So, I left them to it. And later, we ate dinner as a family. Lincoln had let Luke back in, Benz and Diesel carried on about his business, and I sat back, content to watch it all.
The happiest I had ever been.
I was truly full.
Early the next morning though, everything about Luke and I changed.
At five am, he woke me with his mouth on my tits and his fingers inside of me. He demanded I keep my eyes open, that I watched him take me. Then, he caged me in and said, “You gotta know.”
“Know what?” I asked him lazily.
“That I love you, Lizzy.”
Before I could say anything, he went on. “That I’ll protect you no matter what. You trust me?”
“Yes, I trust you.”
“Good,” he whispered against my lips. “Go back to sleep.”
Curling into him, I whispered back, “I love you, too, Luke.”
Words I have not said to another man besides my son in twenty-two years.
His response to this? “Fuck.” And it wasn’t said with joy.
Trying not to cry, I was spared making an even bigger fool of myself when his phone buzzed, and he let me know, “Security breach, I gotta go, baby.”
“When will you be back?”
“Hard to say. How about you get dressed and see me off?”
Get dressed? Since when? Luke preferred me naked. But half asleep and doing as he asked, I followed his lead.
Feeling off-kilter from our exchange, I didn’t start an argument, though I was itching to. But now was not the time.
Not when Luke had a security breach.
Before leaving, he asked about my day, and I told him I’d be down at seven thirty because it was pay day.
It was seven forty-five when I was walking over to the last bay to flick the open sign on. It was seven forty-six when the place was flooded with men in DEA uniforms pointing guns at me. Belatedly someone pushed a warrant into my hand and yet I was so lost, I didn't have the ability to read it. At seven forty-nine, I watched eight men ransack my garage, then my home, destroying my sanctuary. I watched everything I had ever worked for, my family worked for, be torn apart in minutes. The guys didn’t show because according to the man in charge, who went by Haines, they were already being detained. I demanded to know why, but was met with blank looks and a bunch of lingo I didn’t understand.
Men stood over the pit doors discussing procedure, and at no time did any of them bother to defer to me for anything. Not for the key (which I didn’t have), use of the pits, or where they led.
Instead, they pried them open without my permission, and I watched as four men descended into the unknown. Though I couldn’t hear much, words like prints, traffic, and electricity caught my attention.
Except, I had no idea what any of it meant.
The man next to me nodded to the man across from him, and that’s when I was quickly turned and handcuffed.
Instantly I could feel the color leave my face because whatever they found down there wasn't going to bode well for me. Hell, even I knew the DEA wasn't here to make sure my shop was up to code. So, when I was lead into a blacked-out Tahoe, shaking in terror, and sat between two giants whose faces I could not see, it was Haines’ words that stood out before the door was closed.
“Careful with her; Temple’s orders.”
So, about that security breach?
Yeah, it was me.
Eight hours later…
“I told you, I watched him die on my kitchen floor, so no, I haven’t been in contact with him because he’s fucking dead. I don’t possess the ability to speak to the dead!”
“Ms. Hudson,” Agent Haines said, clearly annoyed with me. “Are you certain Jon—”
“Is dead?” I snapped loudly. “You are fucking serious, aren’t you? You think I’m in contact with him and lying about it?” And for the hundredth time since being shoved in this room, I started to sweat. “Can you turn the air on? I’m hot.”
“You seem agitated.”
“Oh, no,” I growled in fury. “You don’t get to play that shit with me. I’ve been nothing but honest with you. This,” I said, waving at my current mess, “is menopause, Agent Haines. I’m assuming you’re not a prick outside of work and some woman felt sorry enough to marry you, so if she hasn’t hit the mark yet,” I seethed, “she will, and you have this shit to look forward to. Goddamn, do I feel sorry for her.”
“Very well,” he grinned as if he was pleased with my answer. “Back to—”
“Explain Temple,” I demanded roughly. Honestly, I was so fired up, still, the deep anger in my voice surprised me. “Before I say another fucking word, explain who he is to me or I go silent. And I’m no fun when I’m silent, Haines.”
Then there was a rap on the door, and with a look of pity Agent Haines excused himself and allowed Luke inside.
Immediately, my eyes went to the badge on his belt. How did I miss this?
How did I miss any of this?
“Your wrists okay?”
“Fuck you.” Because my wrists hurt almost as much as my heart did.
“Lizzy,” he sighed, as if I was being unreasonable.
“Elizabeth,” I corrected him. “Only people I trust call me Lizzy.”
“I am trying to protect you,” he said softly.
“Right.” I laughed loudly. “How’d you get saddled with me, huh? Closest to my age? Divorced and able to put in those extra man hours? Really go the extra mile…”
“No, my orders were to get information from Ram. But I broke the rules to have you.”
Letting out a whoosh, I rocked back in my chair, stunned and devastated. “Wow, aren’t you Mr. Honesty all of a sudden.”
“Lizzy…”
“Do you even own a security firm?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Then why hire my son?”
“I hired him because he’s good, and I wanted him safe while I cleared your name. A decision that benefited us both.”
“You used me.”
“In the beginning, yes,” he said while staring hard, hoping I'll understand. “But it was real, Lizzy. All of it was—is. I meant it when I said I loved you.”
“That night at the bar, watching me, then outside in the lot. You were working?”
“Yes.”
“You used me,” I repeated. “Why?”
“I was helping you,” he corrected. “I’m still helping you.”
“You used my son, your Camaro was probably bullshit, too.” Then before I lost it, I shut my emotions down before I asked, “Where are my guys?”
“Released,” he confirmed. “They’re clean, as I suspected they were.”
“Of course, they’re clean!”
“I had to be sure,” he exhaled hard. “Your life, Ram’s life, both are in serious danger.”
“From who?” I screamed my head off. “A dead man?”
“Yes.” The conviction in his voice rendered me temporarily speechless.
“What?” A whisper was the best I could do because my voice had no strength.
“We believe Jon’s alive.”
“Am I being charged, or am I free to go?”
This bullshit, the head games, Luke, all of it—I was done. Fucking done. I could take no more. It fucking hurt to look at him, listen to him, and yet, I still loved his lying ass. God, would I ever
get it right?
“Lizzy…”
“Am I free to go, Agent Temple?”
“Yeah,” he said sadly. “You are.”
Just before I left, I asked, “Does Ram know?”
“No,” he said, grinding his jaw. “It’d be best if he doesn’t either. At least not until we get some answers. He’s safe. I made sure of it. Please, leave him out of this so I can keep it that way.”
“When I said I loved you, I lied.”
“No, you didn’t,” he said emphatically. “You can’t lie to save your life.”
“I’m hormotional,” I fired back. “Half the time I don’t even buy the shit I’m selling.”
“Don’t do this, Lizzy.”
“It’s already done, Luke.”
“Think of our future, think of Ram.”
“If it’s all the same to you,” I said, opening the door. “I’m thinking of myself right now.”
After Luke exits the room, I wait for whoever was going to release me to actually do it. I did this impatiently by swearing and throwing chairs. A half hour later, I was back in a blacked-out Tahoe and dropped at home without so much as a have a nice day or a pat on the ass.
Home.
Sure as fuck didn’t feel that way anymore.
Letting her go, regardless of the fact that it was temporary, killed me.
We weren’t meant to be apart. I should be with her—protecting her, comforting her.
Apologizing. Explaining.
But I couldn’t because it didn’t meet protocol. For the interim, I was to watch and report.
Treat her like the job she was.
Right now, I was ready to say fuck it and haul ass over there, but Haines wasn’t making it easy.
“I don’t like this,” I repeated. “We don’t have enough evidence to move forward, and sending her home as bait is not what we’re about.”
“The entire place is live, Luke,” he reminded me. “She was briefed that until we say otherwise, she is to carry on and not to touch government property.”
“You’ve never seen her tear a room apart. I need to be there.”
“Jon and whoever is helping him won’t show if you’re there,” he sighed. “Look, I know she’s clean, but you saw the same shit I saw. He will come back. He wanted you to know he’s coming back for her. We have a small window, and we are using Elizabeth to take it.”
“That’s my woman, Chris,” I reminded him. “I saw that motherfucker sneak in with my own eyes. It’s not enough she’s gonna find out he isn’t dead, but I have to watch her break from a distance when she does? My woman, who as of a few hours ago, hates me.”
“Luke…”
“I told her I loved her this morning,” I confessed miserably. “She said she loved me back. Then I fucking handed her over to you.”
“Luke…”
“I can’t protect her from behind a monitor!”
“We have eyes everywhere, nothing will happen to her.”
“I didn’t sign up for hanging her out to dry.”
“Yeah, man, you did. But she will be protected,” he said, slapping me on the shoulder. “You did good, Luke. It’s almost over. We intercepted a vehicle with enough coke to blow out a city block. We get Jon, Jon gets us his supplier. He’ll give us what we want in order to protect her, and when it’s done, you’ll fix shit with Elizabeth.”
“Lizzy,” I mumbled to myself. “She’s my Lizzy.”
“And she’s tough as fucking nails. When she finds out he’s alive, she won’t break. The woman I interrogated today would kick his ass, not welcome him home.”
After my debriefing, and with nothing left to do except head back to an empty house, I called Ram to check in. All was well in his world, which meant Lizzy kept her word and him in the dark. Which she would. The woman would do anything to protect her boy. Setting my pistol on the desk, I pour myself a glass of whiskey and fall into my chair, ready for an all-nighter. I had eight monitors in my home office. One for the exterior of Hudson’s, a second for the entrance, a third for the garage bays, a fourth for the stock room, a fifth for the break room, a six in her kitchen, a seventh in her living room, and the last in her bedroom. The feeds we installed for the pits ran off my TV, and as of this morning had audio. Leaving Lizzy killed me, but for tonight at least, I could be close to watch her even if it was from a distance.
Though, giving her time to change her mind seemed like a dumb idea because my time with her felt like it had an expiration date on it. And it just passed...
Not bothering with heading upstairs, I unlock the door to the garage and step inside. Leaving the lights off because I didn’t want to see evidence of the morning events, I grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the bench and sat silently in the middle of the floor. I literally plopped my ass on the concrete, uncaring of the cold. I had already texted the guys, letting them know we were closed until next week. They were pissed about what happened, but no worse for the wear. They were also very vocal in Luke’s role in the investigation.
And color me fucking shocked when they commended the lying bastard for putting my best interest first. Especially Lincoln who had backed Luke up on this completely, stating he’d have done the same.
God, I would never figure men out.
When they offered to come sit with me, I declined.
I needed time to think, to process, and to mourn (once again). I needed time to drink myself into oblivion where nothing could touch me.
Hudson’s was my home, my love, and my life.
It’s been my goddamn purpose since I was old enough to change a battery.
This garage, the brick walls, and Bondo smell...it was my safe haven.
My slice of heaven while I dealt with hell.
After today, I felt unsafe, violated, and pissed off.
Just another comfort stripped from me.
Twenty-two years ago, I watched Jon die at my feet while I held our son.
I fought so hard to raise Ram, to be a strong, independent mother to him.
All that was for nothing when I met Luke Temple.
Agent Luke Temple.
Who stepped in and forced me to see I ached to be taken care of. The sneaky son of a bitch made me fall in love.
And he was a fucking liar.
Slamming the whiskey back, I mentally patted myself on the back for not coughing. I almost cried in joy when I didn’t start flashing like a fucking atomic bomb, too. Chug after chug I guzzled the shit, wanting to erase my fucking existence when I heard, “My girl isn’t a whiskey drinker,” from behind me.
Glancing up, I saw him standing there like a dream come true.
Only he wasn’t a dream, and never fucking had been.
All these years I tortured myself, refusing to move on and for what? To be betrayed by a man who claimed to love me.
He was as bad as Luke—a fucking liar. My gut told me Agent Haines, Luke, and the DEA knew full well he was alive from the beginning and used me to get to Jon.
Haines admitted my prints weren’t found down below. My response to that was, no shit. I hadn’t been down there since I was a kid. I wasn’t lying when I said they terrified me.
But Luke knew to look there. Probably had known from the start, or at least suspected.
As for me? I was too fucking caught up in my own shit to even question anything illegal happening under my feet.
My only comforting thought was that Ram was far from here and safe. At least Luke had done something right.
For the last twenty-two years, I asked myself what I would say if I ever saw Jon again?
The fact that I even thought it was possible should have tipped me off, but no, I missed all the signs.
And here he was, standing in my garage like no time had passed.
With a million emotions fighting for their voice, I managed to say, “This place is rigged with enough equipment to rival the NASA, Jon. What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Actually, Jon, I don’t. I didn’t think dead people missed anyone.”
“I had to protect you, protect Ram.”
“I saw you die.”
“Probably should have,” he said, kneeling before me. “Christ, that seemed so long ago… When I woke up, I knew I couldn’t come back, Lizzy. I had enemies, still do. But I helped you as best as I could for as long as I could.”
“I felt you,” I whispered. “Even after I buried you, I always felt you with me.”
“Because I was,” he whispered back, pressing his forehead against mine like he used to. But we weren’t kids anymore. Because of him, I had serious adult fucking problems, so I pushed him off.
Honestly, if an opportunity presented itself, odds were high I would punch him in the face.
But hitting Jon wasn’t going to solve anything, and I didn’t want a sore hand either so taking another chug, I ignored the churning in my stomach. The adrenaline pumping through my veins and twenty-two years of hurt still wanted out.
Sensing this as only Jon could, he continued, “You dressed Ram in the cutest Osh Kosh plaid button down for his first day of kindergarten. He carried a Thomas The Train backpack. You cried in your car for an hour. You taught him how to drive when he was ten, he was a natural, like you. He blew you a kiss and thanked you during his valedictorian speech. He did it again at his college commencements. You taught him how to slow dance in the kitchen the night before homecoming. My son loves his mom like his dad loves her. I never missed a milestone, Lizzy, but not a second has gone by when I haven’t missed my family. Saw you after surgery, held your hand for a bit. I remember thinking my girl is so damn brave. I’ve always been there, baby, always, anyway that I could.”
And without even realizing I did it, I backhanded Jon and watched him fall on his ass.
“You selfish piece of shit,” I growled. “You have no idea how horrible it felt to lie to my son all these years. What that did to me.”