A Royal Pain: Paranormal Dating Agency (Otherworld Shifters Book 3)

by Godiva Glenn

  “Prism isn’t Earth. We’re open with what we like, and we talk about it as easily as humans talk about weather.” She arched a brow at Blair. “You’re naked, you know. It’s actually ridiculous for you to be hesitating to be yourself. This is the woman who set up Fianni—probably the most innocent of the aspects—to be gangbanged by dragons.”

  Gerri pursed her lips, though she looked amused. “I wouldn’t put it that way.”

  “I certainly don’t want a bevy of dragons,” Blair insisted. “I just want someone soft and sweet. And yes, I suppose I would like it if is okay with some dominating role-play in the bedroom. I live alone in a tree. It’s not far-fetched that I’d want to be in control now and then.”

  Gerri walked around the tree, a soft smile on her face as she seemed to think. Blair crossed his arms and for a split-second experienced a moment of embarrassment. Vevina was right. He was naked, and to a human probably looked like a monster.

  Come to think of it, what happened if he drank the water of reflection and passed through the magical portal to Earth only to find that he was a hideous human?

  As a dryad, he didn’t exactly have anything decent to start with. His skin was only slightly softer than the bark of his tree, after all. And it’s not like I’ve ever seen my face in a mirror. He’d been told he was handsome by other fae, but humans had a different definition for what features were attractive.

  The only thing that kept his panic to a low buzz instead of a deafening roar was the polite interest on Gerri’s face. She wasn’t disgusted or scared—or she hid it incredibly well.

  “As luck would have it, I think I have the perfect match for you,” Gerri said finally. “I was recently vacationing and found that my reputation had preceded me. On a tiny island by the name of Lutheyis I found many individuals seeking romance—but as it was a small selection, I haven’t been able to help everyone just yet.”

  “An island? Tropical?”

  “No. I think you’d fit in perfectly. Temperate weather. Plenty of sights and gorgeous greenery. And a blonde bombshell looking for a decent man without a shady past. No pun intended.”

  Before he thought better of it, he’d embraced the tiny matchmaker. “You have no idea what this means to me.”

  She patted his arm and peeled herself away. “I suppose all we have to do now is find a portal to our destination.”

  “We? You’re joining me?” Blair asked.

  Gerri grinned broadly. “I don’t want to just abandon you. I have a little time before I have to be home, at least enough to join you through the portal and give a quick introduction to the island. Besides, I’m curious to see what you’ll look like underneath the fae magic.”

  You and I both.

  “We don’t have to hurry. Take your time gathering your things and saying goodbyes. It’s fine.”

  “It’s not a problem,” Blair reassured her. “I have no personal possessions. And there aren’t really goodbyes… except that I should visit Brook and Prince Kerren.”

  “Lovely. I’ll join you if you don’t mind. It’s been years since I saw those two.”

  “Let’s not forget the obvious,” Vevina added. “Maybe Kerren has clothes you can borrow. I promise that arriving on Earth nude will not end well.”

  He nodded but his mind was elsewhere. This was it. The moment he would free himself. He reached into his tree, vaguely registering how Gerri gasped as his hand and forearm disappeared into what to anyone else would be a solid surface. He gripped the keepsake box containing the aspect’s tear and pulled it out.

  “I don’t know what will happen,” he admitted.

  Gerri and Vevina took a cautious step back. Blair took the small seed from the wooden box and held it between his fingers. He looked to Vevina and took in the tears welling in her eyes.

  “You can always visit me on Earth,” he told her.

  She tried to smile. “But it won’t be the same.”

  He placed his free palm flat against the strong trunk and whispered a farewell long overdue. The only love he understood was for his tree but was ready to experience more. With closed eyes, he did as instructed by the aspect and pressed the seed into the bark until it sank in.

  After a moment, they collectively expelled breaths held in anticipation, but nothing seemed to have happened. Blair stroked his tree and felt the same connection that had already been there. Frowning, he dropped his hand.

  At once a different type of energy flooded him. He took a step back and felt it ebb and flow, radiating up from his feet and stretching through his body like nothing he could explain. Staring at his hands he tried to make sense of the change. Nothing outward was different about him, and his tree still stood.

  “What’s happening?” Vevina asked. “I can feel… something is off.”

  Gerri looked between the two. “Then did it work?”

  Blair shrugged. “Only one way to see.”

  He walked towards the boundary of his land and instantly noticed the lack of tension. He came to the border that only he saw and took a triumphant step forward.

  “It worked,” Vevina gasped. She ran up and hugged him as he brought his other foot past the now non-existent barrier.

  He turned back to look at his tree and his jaw dropped. It was gone. The three of them huddled together and looked back.

  “I don’t understand,” Gerri said softly. “It was just there.”

  “Wild magic,” Vevina replied. “Which begs to differ, with no tree, how will you put down roots?”

  Blair stared at the round patch of freshly turned dirt that remained in the center of the field where his tree once proudly stood. No shimmer of light or hum of magic emanated. “I was told to replant the seed… but it’s gone too.”

  Vevina sucked in a breath. “Well, fuck.”

  Blair stared at his reflection in the mirror—one of many firsts of the day. His russet hair was medium length and slicked back with a pomade that smelled like lemon. He touched his newly trimmed beard and marveled at his gray eyes and olive skin.

  He didn’t know what his face had looked like as a dryad, but as a human, he was definitely handsome.

  “Surprising to see what was hiding underneath all that hair,” Gerri said with a note of satisfaction.

  He agreed. Upon stepping through the portal and finding his human appearance for the first time, they were all a bit underwhelmed. Likely due to him never having such an appearance before, or being a couple of thousand years old and previously part tree, he had materialized with a beard down to his knees, and matted long hair equally as horrifying.

  “I always thought you were cute,” Vevina huffed. “But this is what will make the human ladies swoon.”

  He grinned and brushed his hands over the starched lapels of his suit—a gift from Kerren. “When do I meet my mate?”

  Gerri chuckled. “Slow it down Romeo. You need to take a few days to get used to the area. Socialize. Try new things. When you’re ready, Alethea will contact you.”

  His heart skipped a beat. Alethea. Her name was a song and he whispered it to himself to feel the letters dance across his tongue. “Don’t tell her I was a dryad,” he said seriously. “I’d rather she get to know me before I tell her that. If there’s one thing I’ve picked up on from my research, it’s that humans don’t believe in fae. Shifters sure, but I don’t want her to have preconceived notions of what a male tree is.”

  The look on Gerri’s face spoke volumes. “Secrets aren’t the best way to start off.”

  “There’s no way humans enter dating by confessing their every flaw,” he reasoned.

  “Being a dryad isn’t a flaw,” countered Vevina. “You’re a wise tree spirit.”

  “Still…” He met Vevina’s challenging stare. “Being a dryad isn’t like being a sprite. First of all, almost every bit of dryad lore in the human realm states that we’re women. I think I’d rather tell her myself, in my own words, what I used to be.”

  Gerri shrugged. “As long as you tell her.”<
br />
  “I will,” he promised, adjusting his tie to ensure it hid the leaves reaching up his neck. His tree had reappeared on his human form as a massive black tattoo that covered him from neck to groin, with branches reach down his arms.

  Gerri promised that it wasn’t unattractive, but he wasn’t certain. It seemed like another thing to explain. Still, the appearance comforted him. Having it with him in this way made him less anxious than when he’d feared it had vanished completely.

  He rubbed his stomach and groaned. “Does the human form always feel this… painfully empty?”

  Vevina’s eyes grew wide. “You’re hungry!”

  “I suppose dryads don’t eat?” Gerri asked.

  “This is hunger?” Excitement filled Blair, overpowering his current pangs.

  “Oooh. First mealtime,” Vevina said mischievously. “Wait. Are you going to be a vegetarian? Can you eat meat?”

  “Vegetarian?” he asked.

  “It’s what they call it when they only eat plant-based. Like sprites and most of us nature fae back home. Though… For a tree to eat plants, is that cannibalism?”

  Blair glanced at Gerri, who shook her head. “Of all the… don’t look at me. I have no idea.”

  “Do you want to just try a little of everything?” Vevina asked.

  Her question had him reeling. A lifetime sharing nutrients with his tree, and now he was in a human body. “I think I should try. What is it that humans eat? Cows?”

  Gerri scrubbed a hand down her face. “As entertaining as this is, I should get going. Though trust me, if I didn’t have prior engagements I would certainly stick around.”

  “But he needs an Earth guide,” Vevina said.

  “Yes. I agree, and that would be you,” Gerri countered. “I’m told you wrote the book on introducing a fae to the idiosyncrasies of Earth.”

  Vevina pouted.

  “Come on. Just a few days,” Blair pleaded, taking Vevina’s hands. “I know you hate not being a sprite, but I can’t think of anyone better to lead me in this adventure.”

  She puffed an annoyed breath out and slanted her brown eyes. “Fine. But I’m taking a portion of your funds and dying my hair. If I’m going to be your guide, I’m not going to be… this,” she said emphatically and gestured at her face. “I look like a human.”

  “No offense taken,” Gerri smirked.

  “You know what I mean,” Vevina said with exasperation.

  Blair patted Vevina’s blonde hair. He understood her, oddly enough. The sight of his own smooth skin was a bit unsettling, but it’s what he wanted. For her, going without her magical hair and glowy amber skin clearly caused her distress.

  “I think that’s fair. But first, could we find food?”

  Alethea rolled her eyes at the hurried footsteps chasing her down the hall. She knew the heavy taps of pointed heels on marble had to belong to Lydia—the woman who forced a bland ‘healthy’ diet down her throat—and she knew exactly what the woman wanted today.

  Her father wanted to see her. It was obviously time for yet another lecture on how a princess was supposed to act. Perhaps to be followed up with something about how a princess is supposed to dress. He was already disappointed that her date with Pavel hadn’t led to a tasteful engagement, and he was on the warpath.

  She stopped mid-stride and turned on her heel, confronting Lydia. “I’ll head straight to the library for my weekly scolding, don’t worry.”

  She turned again before she had to listen to a word. As moods went, she was in a foul one, and instead of being on the receiving end of a rant, this time she had one of her own to deliver. This afternoon’s required photo op had plucked her last nerve.

  The people milling about the palace did their best to avert their eyes as she stormed through, winding her way to her father’s private study. It always amused her how much walking was required of royalty. If only she was part of a more modest family, one that didn’t insist that bedrooms be miles apart.

  When I’m queen, perhaps I’ll install a moving walkway like they have at airports.

  Pausing at the closed double doors, she reminded herself that she’d remain focused and not raise her voice. The last thing she needed was her father to tell her to calm down—that always resulted in exactly the opposite.

  With a determined shove, she burst through the doors and faced her father, who sat in a leather armchair.

  “Alethea—”

  “Me first, father,” she said tartly. “I can guess why you’re upset with me, so let’s begin with something that is apparently less obvious—though I can’t for the life of me see how that is.”

  He groaned and slumped in his chair.

  “You thought to ambush me with a charity event where you keep hidden that the primary benefactor is the Kalyna Corporation? You brought me for a photo op and made me smile and wave as they dedicated a park to my mother? My mother, who consistently fought them over their repugnant treatment of their female employees?” Alethea took a deep breath and lowered her voice an octave. “I do not support hypocrisy. You can’t have forgotten that they attacked mother viciously, all but stopping at name-calling. Now they turn around and give her a park? It’s a blatant publicity grab, and you made me a part of it!”

  His gray eyes watched her with little emotion, which meant he was mentally filing this away as a tantrum, not a valid concern. He stood and held his hands behind his back as he crossed the room to peer out of the large window behind his desk.

  “There is such a thing as forgiveness. The disagreement is in the past, and I can’t be expected to bury a viable company forever based on mistakes of the past.”

  “Except they haven’t changed. Their CEO is still undergoing investigation for sexual harassment and a new accusation came up just last month,” she reasoned. “We can’t accept their apology if they aren’t going to atone. What would mother say? What would she do?”

  There was a wince in his eyes, but he hid it by turning away. “Julia saw the world how she saw it. I can’t be her. I can’t do what she’d do. I miss her dearly, and I promise I’m not trying to erase her spirit, but her cause was not my cause. She went about things in her way.”

  “That’s not how it was. You were together. She led the charge but you were by her side. Now you back off? Turn around and pretend it doesn’t matter?”

  His shoulders heaved before he turned to face her. “I do what I see is right. When you are in my shoes, you’ll quickly realize that ruling is not as simple as choosing sides and seeing issues in black and white.”

  Alethea sank onto the plush loveseat nearby. “Here we go.”

  “When you leave a public event, you cause drama and feed the tabloids. Regardless of your intent, all you do is make yourself seem unfit.”

  “What does that matter? You know the real me and even you think I’m unfit,” she grumbled.

  “That’s not true.”

  “You don’t want me to rule unless I’m married.”

  He clucked his tongue. “There is nothing wrong with settling down with a man who can curb your wild tendencies. Accepting the responsibility of being a wife would be fair proof that you are ready to take on a kingdom. I only want what is best for everyone.”

  “You’ve never approved of my dates and the men you choose are horrid.” She plucked at the velvet fabric underneath her arm, frustrated. “If you’re going to be misogynistic and make me choose a man, at least actually let me choose the man.”

  “Words like misogynistic are keeping you from finding a good one,” he replied, crossing the room to stand by her. “And you never seem to approve of your dates either lately, so I can hardly see how that’s my fault.”

  She groaned, drawing out the sound no matter how childish it seemed.

  “And what was wrong with Pavel?”

  “Nothing.”

  “In that case, you’ll have another date?” he asked curiously.

  “We get along like friends. There’s no romantic chemistry. Plus, he has a
rule. He doesn’t date royalty or celebrities.”

  “So?”

  She rolled her eyes. “I think we’re done here. All I ask of you—all I ever ask of you—is to treat me like your daughter and not a royal bargaining chip.”

  She stood and watched the frustration on his face become pain but didn’t back down.

  “Maybe I want what you and mother had. You met by chance, remember? Both chasing down the waiter carrying those spinach pinwheels you still have served at every royal ball. I could have true love, father. But you would rather me settle for someone who would look good standing next to my throne.”

  He was speechless, and it was for the better. A lump had formed in her throat and she left the room with an eighth of the strength she’d entered with. She’d meant every word, but each syllable felt like a knife wound.

  Since her mother had died, Alethea and her father had become distant and increasingly formal with each other. But right now, she wanted the man who read her fairy tales and tucked her in at night, not the one who shoved her into the spotlight and offered her to the highest bidder.

  Two days had passed since Alethea had confronted her father, and it had resulted in complete radio silence. Even Lydia had backed off and given up on slipping tofu into Alethea’s dinner.

  Truth be told, being ignored hurt. Her words had been honest, but not as brutal as they could have been. She hadn’t expected such a harsh reaction.

  “We’re here,” Marie said under her breath.

  One of Alethea’s dedicated bodyguards, Marie also had the distinction of not having the habit of tattling to the king. Alethea scanned the marina, which had been discretely cleared of any unnecessary civilians. Marie entwined her arm with Joseph, Alethea’s other guard for the day, and wandered a short distance away.

  Meeting a stranger was risky. Hiding the fact that she was the princess was riskier. Gerri hadn’t wanted to agree with it, but it was a safety issue as much as anything else. Her guards were to blend in by masquerading as a happy couple today while she met up with the mysterious Blair.