Always Asher

by Lyra Winters

  “Fuck, man. I know. He’s a piece of work. I don’t know why she’s staying with him. Both Magnolia and I have tried to talk some sense into her. She won’t budge.”

  I pulled into the driveway of my ranch house. “Magnolia? You still talk to her?”

  “Uh, no. Faith just told me.” He chuckled. “I haven’t talked to her in ages!”

  I snorted. “Right, because that doesn’t sound like a lie. It’d be good for you to have a relationship with her.”

  “We’re talking about your love life. Not mine.” I could almost hear the son of a bitch rolling his eyes.

  “I just got home. Talk to you later?”

  “Yeah. Don’t give up, man. I know she’s still got feelings for you,” he said.

  My lips parted. “I thought you said you weren’t getting into this? How the hell do you know that?”

  “Have a great night!” He hung up the phone, quickly.

  I grumbled, grabbed my shit and headed into my house. Is there a possibility she still had feelings for me? I shook my head. Nah.

  If she had, she would’ve called me.

  I reached for my cell phone. My hands trembled as I typed out a text to Mags and Eve. I couldn’t remember a time where Preston was as pissed off as he was now. He shouted, made outrageous insinuations, and threw a picture frame against the wall, smashing it to bits. It held a photograph of us right after Preston asked me to marry him. We both looked over the moon with happiness as I held up my left hand, proudly displaying my engagement ring. Asher got under his skin in a way no one else had. After his childish tantrum ended, Preston had stormed out of the house in a huff to God knows where.

  Me: Preston just stormed out of the house. Didn’t tell me where he was going.

  Mags: That dick! What happened this time? Didn’t like what was for dinner?

  I rolled my eyes and wished she were joking. But Preston didn’t like my cooking, and he let that fact be known a few weeks ago.

  Eve: What happened? Are you okay?

  Me: Well… Asher dropped me off at home.

  Eve: I just got off work. I’m on my way over.

  Mags: Leaving the gym now, I’ll be there in ten!

  Me: The door’s open!

  I exhaled loudly before I left my phone on the couch and cleaned up the glass from the picture frame. I scrunched up my nose and tossed it into the trash can.

  My front door busted open.

  “Oh, honey!” Mags scampered over to me and wrapped me in a tight hug.

  I hugged her back.

  “Where’s Eve?” she asked.

  I pulled back and glanced toward the open door to see Evelyn standing there with a sheepish smile. She gave us a small wave before she stepped in and shut the door behind her.

  “I didn’t want to interrupt the love fest,” she said, as she walked over to hug me.

  “You’re part of this love fest, and you know it!” Mags snorted.

  “Alright, now, what’s this I hear about Asher? What do you mean he dropped you off at home? I didn’t even know he was back in Violet Ridge?” Eve pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose.

  “Oh, boy, we need to catch you up.” Mags ushered us all into the kitchen.

  “Why does she already know?” Eve pouted.

  “Because you were at work today, and I didn’t want to bother you,” I said.

  Mags grabbed three wine glasses and filled them to the top with Preston’s wine. He was stingy with that wine, and I could never figure out why.

  Eve grabbed her glass. “Fill me in!”

  I explained everything. From Linda gushing over the new gym teacher all the way to Preston storming out of the house after our argument.

  “He did not say that!” Mags mumbled all sorts of profanities under her breath.

  Eve shook her head, her curly red hair bouncing around. “That’s way out of line, Faith. Even for him.”

  My shoulders slumped. “I know. I don’t know where it came from. But to call me a whore for sleeping with Asher seven years ago, the only other person I’ve been with, was unpleasant.”

  Eve snorted.

  Mags slammed her empty wine glass down. “Unpleasant? Seriously? Preston’s a piece of work! A total asshole, Faith.”

  I nodded my head. “I know he can be. But he has some good qualities.”

  Eve scoffed and folded her hands in front of her. “Like what?”

  I sat there and stared into my wine glass. After a couple of minutes, I shrugged. “I’m pissed at Preston, tipsy, and all my thoughts are plagued with Asher. What’s wrong with me?”

  “You’re still in love with Asher,” Eve remarked before she pushed her glasses up on her head and rubbed her eyes. “He meant the world to you for so long and now he’s back.”

  “Exactly why you should dump the shithead,” Mags said.

  I groaned. “I need to text Asher about carpooling.” I reached for my phone, but Mags snatched it away.

  “I got this!” She ran away with my phone.

  I ran after her, but Eve grabbed me from behind.

  I gasped. “Evelyn! You never team up with her!”

  “Don’t use my full name! I just know Asher is your one true love!” Mags winked.

  Mags typed fast on my phone before the sound of the message being sent whooshed through the air. She looked over at us and grinned. Eve let me go. Mags handed the phone over to me and I read the last sent message.

  The one to Asher.

  Me: Do you ever think about me?

  I could feel the pulse in my temples as I stared at the screen. “Mags! How can I face him tomorrow at school? I can’t use a sick day.” My bottom lip quivered.

  She waved me away. “Just wait until he—”

  The ding of my phone cut her off. Mags and Eve were on both sides of me as I opened the text from Asher.

  Asher: All the fucking time. I never stopped. I will pick you up tomorrow morning. We still need to talk.

  Squeals erupted from both sides of me, and from me as well. My heart hammered in my chest, and butterflies filled my stomach.

  “Told ya, honey!” Mags did a victory dance, and Eve clapped her hands violently.

  I covered my face in my hands and threw myself back on the floor. I felt like a teenage girl again.

  Asher still thought about me.

  I yanked open Asher’s passenger side door and crawled into the seat.

  “Need some help there?” he asked, with a bemused smile overtaking his features.

  I shook my head. My cheeks heated up, as a feeling of embarrassment invaded me. “I can do it.” I sat in the seat and shut the door. I stared at everything in the truck aside from him.

  Asher’s thumb stroked my cheek. I stiffened. He always got so close without me noticing. “What’s wrong? You look like you’ve been crying.”

  I didn’t dare move a muscle. His thumb against my cheek spread warmth through my body that I hadn’t felt in years. “Mags and Eve came over last night and we got a little carried away with the wine,” I breathed out.

  He pulled away and put his hand on the gear shift before backing out of the drive. “Mags and Eve were over? What about your fiance?”

  I sighed and fiddled with the ends of my hair. “We had an argument and he left. I haven’t spoken to him since.”

  “I don’t like him.” He scrunched up his nose, a small action that pulled at my heartstrings.

  I bit my cheek to contain the smile that so badly wanted to escape. “He doesn’t like you either.”

  Asher laughed. “Is that so? I guess you could say that I got under his skin, then?”

  I blew out air. “Yeah, I think you did.”

  “Why do you think that?” He glanced over with a smirk. “I think it’s because he saw the undeniable chemistry that still lingers between us.”

  My lips tugged upward. I hated how good that comment made me feel. I knew I had to stop it but he always knew how to make me smile. “I had my car towed to a shop in town. I�
�ll know what’s wrong with it by lunch. Thank you for taking me to work.”

  His eyebrows raised before he shot me a grin. “It’s alright. Don’t mind one bit.”

  I leaned my head against the seat and closed my eyes. I sighed in relief, the medicine I took for the hangover was finally starting to work.

  “About that message last night.” He paused. “I think it’s only fair if you answer the same question.”

  “In all fairness, Mags texted you that. Not me.” I parted my eyelids to glance at him.

  His jaw tensed. “Is that so?”

  I nodded.

  “Doesn’t matter. I answered. Do you ever think of me?” His eyes didn’t stray from the road.

  My chest constricted as my eyes shut again. “All the fucking time, but it isn’t right.”

  It felt like I was betraying Preston with that answer and it made me feel awful. Preston may have his flaws but he didn’t deserve this.

  After a few minutes of silence between us, the truck came to a stop. I slipped the seatbelt off and got out. The autumn wind swirled around me, making my brown hair whip around freely. I walked to the entrance of the school with Asher beside me.

  “Why did you change your major?” I asked. He had been so dead set on law school.

  “That profession was filled with douchebags. They were a bunch of entitled assholes who thought they were better than everyone else. I hated it.” The words hissed through his teeth.

  I blinked. “I’m sorry.”

  I was sorry. I knew that those people were exactly as he said. My dad was one of them. Hell, my fiance was too. But even though I knew all that, it hurt my heart that he had learned that first hand. Especially when he was so passionate about the career.

  He reached in front of me to pull open the glass door. “I’m not.” He held the door open so I could walk through. “I ended up in the right place.”

  We entered through the front office and said hi to Mrs. Fields, the secretary. We walked in silence down the hallway. Asher scratched the back of his head once we reached my classroom door.

  I smiled. “I’ll let you know about the car once I find out.”

  He nodded. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

  “See you,” I mumbled and unlocked my classroom door. As I walked through, I turned on the lights and SmartBoard. I ambled over to my desk to sort through some papers and pull out the lesson plans.

  My door opened and Linda strolled into the classroom. Her hair was up in a tight bun and a pink dress hung just above her knees. Glasses sat on top of her nose and she glowered at me through them.

  I sighed, grabbed my graded papers and placed them into the pass backs bin. “What now?”

  Her lips pursed. “Aren’t you engaged to a hot ass lawyer?”

  I leveled my eyes. “I am engaged to Preston, yes. You know that.”

  “Are you sure Asher knows that?” she asked.

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. A sense of irritation began to fill me. “Of course he knows. He met Preston last night when he dropped me off at home. My car is in the shop because it wouldn’t start after work yesterday.”

  “Oh.” She grinned. “So, he was just being a nice guy?’

  I bit my lip and nodded. “Asher is a nice guy.”

  Her smug grin grew. “I bet he is. I wonder just how nice of a guy he is in bed.”

  I flinched, the memories of us in bed together invaded my thoughts. I blankly stared at her. She still had that smart ass grin plastered on her face. “I didn’t know you wore glasses.”

  “Oh, Faith, come on. I don’t wear glasses.” She giggled. “But, you had on glasses yesterday when Asher was showing you some attention over me. Which is crazy, by the way.”

  My skin crawled. How shallow could she get? My mouth twisted before I said, “I would never alter my appearance just for a man to show interest in me.”

  She laughed. “What, you’re telling me that you don't wear makeup and shave for men? It's the same concept, Faith.”

  The bell rang, which signaled the start of the school day.

  “I’ll talk to you later, Linda. Have a great day.” I gave her a tight-lipped smile.

  She didn’t reply, just turned on her heels and slammed the door behind her. I rubbed my eyes. She was the biggest drama queen I had ever met.

  After morning meeting, we worked on our narratives. I enjoyed learning more about my students through this assignment and they loved sharing their narratives. I told them to pick an important event that had an impact on their life. We had been working on this assignment for about a week and we had finally finished our rough drafts today.

  Time was going by quickly and I had just dropped my students off at music when I passed by the gym. A fellow 4th-grade teacher, Mrs. Pierce’s class was waiting outside the doors. I glanced at my watch, realizing it was time for them to go in.

  “Hi, Ms. Reed!” a few kids greeted me.

  “Hi, kids! Has Mr. Wells been out here yet?” I asked before I opened the gym door.

  Asher and Linda were standing in close proximity before she leaned forward to whisper something in his ear. He stiffened up and I cleared my throat. I ignored the stupid pang in my chest. He could talk to whoever he wanted. Hell, he could even fuck whoever he wanted. It didn’t bother me. Not one bit. Yet somehow, seeing him cozied up to someone else didn’t sit right with me.

  “Mr. Wells. You have a class waiting for you in the hallway. It’d be best if you did your job,” I snapped. I glared at them before I walked back into the hallway. “He will come out to get you all in just a minute,” I told Mrs. Pierce’s class before I walked back to my room.

  I began grading the narratives with my bright pink pen when that green little monster crept into my mind. I tapped the pen on the desk and groaned. Asher was not mine to think about. I was engaged. I had no reason to be jealous.

  I typed out a quick message to send to Eve and Mags.

  Me: I caught Linda and Asher looking really close in the gym today. Why do I feel jealous? I’m engaged to Preston! What is wrong with me?

  I sent the message and continued grading the essays, the weight on my chest grew heavier with each thought.

  The rest of the day, I was able to avoid Asher. That was until lunch came around and Linda strutted into the library with him behind her once again interrupting my peace. I ran a hand over my face before biting into a sandwich. She sat across from me while Asher sat beside me.

  “The garage called. My car will be down there for the rest of the week,” I told him.

  He grinned. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”

  “Why did you bring Faith to work today?” Linda asked, watching him closely. “She mentioned something about her car breaking down. You are just such a nice guy for helping out someone you barely know.”

  Asher chuckled. “Yeah, her car wouldn’t start yesterday. I’m actually a friend of her cousins’. Faith and I grew up around each other.”

  Her jaw dropped. “Faith, you never told me you knew him!”

  I shrugged. “It wasn’t important.”

  Asher nudged my shoulder. “I think our past is very important.”

  Heat flared up my body and Linda looked absolutely furious. “Does that mean you two?” She motioned between us.

  Asher nodded. “Yeah, it does.”

  “Asher!” I hissed. “Nobody needs to know that.”

  “Does Preston know about that? Since he’s your fiance?” she asked as she pushed her glasses to the top of her head.

  I moved my lunch to the side. “Yes. Preston does know that Asher and I have had sex. Thanks for ruining yet another lunch for me.”

  I stood up, grabbed my food, and trudged out of the library. I glanced at my watch and slapped a hand over my face. I still had fifteen minutes of lunch left.

  I decided to go back to the classroom and try to grade the rest of the narratives. Not even five minutes later Asher walked into my room.

  I went to say somethi
ng but he held his hand up. “I’m sorry, Faith. I didn’t mean to piss you off.”

  I clicked my tongue. “It wasn’t you. It was Linda. She’s just a—”

  “Bitch?” He finished for me and I nodded.

  “Yes. Speaking of, what the hell was with this morning? You had a class waiting for you. I thought you were more professional than that.”

  His shoulders shook with laughter. “Faith, I would never be interested in her. Besides, she came on to me. I actually rejected her. She’s really having an issue being told no though.”

  I bit the tip of my pen with a smile. “Yeah, she hates that.”

  He placed his hands on my desk and leaned close to me. “We had more than just a past. We had feelings for each other. You know that, right?”

  I gulped. “It doesn't matter anymore.”

  He slid back. “It does to me.”

  I took a deep breath. “I’m engaged.”

  His eyebrows shot up. “You’re seriously going to stay with him?”

  I glanced away. I didn’t have it in me to give him a verbal answer. I couldn’t. I didn’t know what I was going to do yet.

  “Do you love him?”

  I bit my lip as words continued to fail me.

  He nodded his head vigorously. “Fine. You do what you have to do. I’ll see you after work.” He spun around and walked out of my room. I flinched when the door slammed shut behind him.

  What the hell was I supposed to do? I was engaged, I shouldn’t worry about Asher. So why did Asher’s feelings mean more than Preston’s? Was I that shitty of a human being?

  I reached for my phone and called Preston but was met with his voice mail. Frustrated, I hung up and tossed the phone on my desk. He needed to know what I was feeling. I wasn’t being fair to Preston and I hated being that person.

  Asher walked out of my life that morning. He made his feelings abundantly clear. So why was it that I still felt like a goner when he was around?