Always Asher

by Lyra Winters

  That woman made me feel things I hadn’t felt since I was a teenager. She was fucking loyal, honest, and caring. I knew why she wouldn’t give in to me. It was all because of that prick she was engaged to.

  I stepped through my gym doors and began setting up volleyball equipment. I knew being engaged was a big deal. I knew she would never cheat, I knew that. I didn’t want to make her cheat on him. I just wanted her, in every sense of the word.

  It wasn’t fair to get angry. I wasn’t angry at Faith. I was just pissed with the situation. I didn't expect her to just break off the engagement now that I was back. Though, I couldn’t help but hope.

  “Asher?” a sultry voice called from the doors.

  I turned my head and found Linda. She was something else entirely. I had heard of women like her but never actually met one; cutthroat and didn’t take no for an answer.

  “What do you need? I’m a little busy.” I called back to her. I’d hoped she would just turn around and walk right back out.

  But of course, the she-witch stayed. She let the doors shut behind her and she sauntered over toward me with that damn hip movement. “Can I help you with something?”

  I shook my head and finished setting up the nets. “No. Don’t you have a kid to help or something?”

  She giggled. “I can wait five more minutes before I pull him.”

  I sighed. “You don’t want to get in trouble, do you?”

  “Of course not,” she all but purred.

  I reached up and scratched my head. “Listen, you’re beautiful. Don’t get me wrong, but I’m just not interested in dating right now.”

  Her hand squeezed her chest, right between her breasts. I averted my gaze.

  “I’m not looking to date you, per se. I just want to have a little…fun. What do you say?”

  I let out an exasperated sigh. “Sorry, but I just can’t.”

  Her eyes turned cold and she straightened her back. “It’s because of Faith, isn’t it? She’s engaged. She’s getting married to a sexy ass lawyer. She isn’t going to leave him for you.”

  I stepped back from her. “I’m not expecting her to, but I know fooling around with you would only be a waste of my time.”

  She gasped, and raised her hand to slap me. Instead, she balled it into a fist and threw it to her side. “You are not who I thought you were, Mr. Wells.”

  I shook my head and walked away from her, toward my office in the back of the gym. I went and sat in my chair, grabbed my phone and dialed the principal.

  “Mr. Higgins,” his gruff voice answered.

  “Hey, it’s Asher. I wanted to report something concerning a colleague.”

  “What happened?”

  “Linda Shepherd came onto me a few times this week. I rejected her again and well, she almost slapped me. Figured it was something you needed to know. She also keeps interrupting my classes for little to no reason,” I said.

  “Ah, okay. Thanks for telling me, Asher. I’ll have a word with her. This is not the first time I’ve heard something like this regarding her. I appreciate the call.”

  “Thanks, Mr. Higgins. I appreciate it. Just didn’t want her to misconstrue anything. I would’ve come down to your office but I have a class in a couple of minutes.”

  “That’s fine. See ya later, Asher.”

  I hung up the phone and frowned. When did everything get so fucked up?

  I put the lasagna in the oven, then collapsed on the couch. Asher had dropped me off with little to no words. I couldn’t help but feel guilty that maybe I’d hurt him with being engaged to Preston. I huffed. Why was I overthinking this? Asher hadn’t been around for the past seven years. I shouldn’t feel guilty about moving on. Maybe, it was time to look for an alternative form of transportation to and from work until my car was fixed.

  The door opened and Preston walked in. His black shirt was disheveled and his tie was off already. He strode over to me and planted a kiss on my cheek.

  “Hey beautiful.”

  My eyebrows furrowed. He was acting like our argument last night never happened.

  “Preston, I—”

  He walked away and toward the bedroom. “I’m going out to dinner with a client to discuss a case tonight. Won’t be home until late.”

  I hopped off the couch and followed him into the bedroom. Our floors were wooden and the walls were tan. I despised the color scheme but he loved it. Said it felt like home, whereas I compared it to a dentist’s office.

  “I just put the lasagna in the oven. I need to talk to you about some things going on right now.” I picked at my braid.

  He was standing in his underwear, giving me that look. The one where his frown shows his disappointment.

  “Babe, I have to work. Can’t we talk later?” He turned away and started to sift through clothes.

  I scoffed. “No, Preston. We need to talk now. Besides, I’m cooking lasagna. It’s your favorite. You need to tell me when you won’t be home so I don’t cook for you.”

  “Shit, we aren’t even married yet and you’re nagging me.”

  “Nagging you?” My mouth fell open. “I just need one measly conversation with my fiance.”

  “Make it quick. I need to go.” He finished putting on a grey suit.

  He was putting on his tie in the mirror when I placed a hand on his shoulder. His stare pierced me and he smirked. “Baby, I’d love to indulge in you but I can’t.”

  I shook my head. “That’s not what I want. I want you to sit down and listen to me.”

  His eyes shifted from me to the bed. He grabbed my hand and walked over to the edge of the bed to sit. “I only have like five minutes. What’s going on?”

  I took a deep breath and then launched into explaining mine and Asher’s past. His eyes bore into mine and he waited until I was finished before he made a comment.

  “So, you still have feelings for him because he was your first?” He held my hand tighter.

  I bit my bottom lip and shook my head. “I don’t know, but I feel terrible. I’m engaged to you but I still think about him. I’m so sorry.”

  He was quiet for a minute, mulling over what I had told him. He hesitated before pulling me into his chest. His cologne was strong and made me choke up a bit. There was a hint of something else, but I couldn’t be bothered to investigate it.

  “You’re a good fiance. Thank you for telling me. Just keep your distance from him, okay? Carpooling to work is fine but don’t keep conversations going or show him that you’d be interested,” he whispered into my ear. His lips brushed against my cheek, sending a wave of nausea over me.

  I nodded, bottling up the disgust I felt from his touch. He was my fiance. I shouldn’t have that reaction to him and yet his touch had been repelling me the moment he began treating me differently. I had to fix this, somehow. “Thanks for listening.”

  He let go of me and cupped my face in his hands. “This can’t be a regular thing. Work comes first, you should know that.”

  His words were like a slap to the face and I retracted from him. “I never thought you’d say something like that to me.”

  He slapped his thighs before standing up. “I just need you to know where we stand. We may be getting married but my work means everything to me. I love you, Faith. I do, but you’ve made me late for my meeting because of your past with that asshole.”

  My mouth dropped. “He’s not an asshole. Are you hearing what’s coming out of your mouth right now?”

  He chuckled. “Remember what I said, I have to go.” He walked out of the bedroom and I heard the jingle of his keys before the front door shut.

  I ran my fingers through my hair. What the fuck was that? I was at a loss. He wasn’t anything like the person I said yes to. Asher was pissed at me whilst I was at school and Preston said he loved me but I felt the opposite of love from him. My body shook and I hiccuped.

  Furious, I wiped away the tears, grabbed my phone and sent a text to Mags and Eve.

  Me: Anyone want lasagna? I c
ooked a ton and I’m the only one here tonight.

  Mags: Hells yeah! I love lasagna! I’m leaving the gym in like ten minutes and I’ll head over.

  Eve: I actually have dinner plans! Mags’ cousin asked me out when I ran into him yesterday. You know, Gerald. Goofy guy, swoon-worthy attitude?

  I grinned and my heart swelled for her.

  Me: You go, Eve! I’m so proud of you!

  Mags: Be careful, though. He can be… testy at times. Keep your guard up around him. He’s slimy. Finally, moving on from Flynn?

  Eve: Don’t even say his name! Flynn was… hard to get over. First kiss, sexy bad boy, everything I had wanted in a partner?

  Me: He just up and left town. No word. No matter how much you liked him, he proved not to be the one.

  I frowned. Flynn was Evelyn’s first crush. She fell head over heels for him. They had their first kiss on the night of Luca’s party. Then dated all through senior year. Eve wanted to wait until marriage to have sex and he respected the hell out of her. But as soon as we graduated, Flynn left. Not even a word to Eve. She was heartbroken for months, years even. She hadn’t even dated since him. I hoped Gerald would treat her well on their date.

  Mags: Faith’s right. But, just watch out for Gerald. Please, listen to me.

  Mags: Other than that, have a great time!

  I nibbled on my bottom lip. Why was Mags warning Eve about him?

  Me: Mags, see you soon! Eve, have an awesome date!

  I put my phone in my pocket and went to the living room to find something to watch. About half an hour later, Mags arrived and the lasagna was done. We had our plates of lasagna and soda on the dining room table.

  “Thanks for coming tonight,” I told her before taking a bite of lasagna.

  She scarfed down her plate. “I love your cooking. Preston doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

  “He’s just different. Like, he told me how work comes first today after I poured my heart out to him about Asher.” I took a drink of my soda.

  Her eyes bugged out. “What! You told your fiance that you have feelings for another man?”

  I stuffed another forkful in my mouth and nodded.

  “Explain!” She motioned.

  I swallowed the food and sighed. “I felt so guilty. I have these feelings for Asher and I had to tell Preston about them. He wasn’t really concerned though. He hugged me and told me he was happy I told him. Then, he was pissed because I had apparently made him late for a meeting.”

  She shook her head and shot me a glare. “That’s not normal at all.”

  I tilted my head. “What do you mean by not normal?”

  She slumped her shoulders. “Faith. He wasn’t concerned or jealous and then flipped it into a work thing? That’s not…right. Something is up with him. I don’t like it.”

  “You don’t like him,” I retorted.

  She shook her head. “No, I don’t but that’s not it. I just have a feeling something is up with him.”

  I shrugged, and took another bite. “Maybe there is. He’ll tell me when he’s ready. I think… Let’s just change the topic here.”

  “Okay, fine. He’s still an ass.” She took her last bite and got up. I heard the water turn on.

  I finished up my plate before I joined her in the kitchen. She turned to me and winced. “Listen, I’m just going to come out and say it.”

  I groaned and placed my plate in the sink, not caring that I didn’t rinse it off. “Oh no. What’s this about?”

  “I think Asher is a good person. I do, but he was a total douche for leaving you the morning after he took your virginity. You need to talk to him about it. Ignoring the elephant in the room…is just not healthy.”

  “Yes. He was.”

  My phone buzzed and I pulled it out. It was Asher. I showed the message to Mags.

  Asher: I’m sorry for the way I acted today. I know that you can’t just up and leave Preston. I am having a hard time respecting your relationship. That’s not fair to you.

  “Damn right.” She nodded, as she read it. “He seems to care a hell of a lot about you. But, what he did back then, it was inexcusable.”

  “I’m not sure if I can talk to him about that night. It’ll just bring up more feelings.” I leaned against the counter. I couldn’t help but feel elated that he apologized.

  “It’s your choice. But I know that I would want closure. It’s been seven years, babe. You deserve that much.” She patted my shoulder.

  Maybe I did need to talk to Asher about our past. I deserved closure, and I was now hellbent on getting it.

  The kids put on their top-dollar begging faces. “Please, Ms. Reed!”

  I raised my hands in defeat. “Okay, fine.”

  Asher smirked. He waved me over. “I appreciate you agreeing to help me with the demonstration.”

  He stood in his gray socks, gym shorts, and t-shirt on a few blue mats that were taped together on the gym floor. They were learning self-defense today and of course, Asher asked me to help demonstrate in front of my class. I’d be lying if I said he didn’t look fucking charming.

  I nibbled my bottom lip as I kicked off my heels and walked over to the mat in my dress pants and blouse that was safely tucked in. “My students are my weakness.”

  The kids cheered as I stepped closer to him. His hand rested on my shoulder and he began to explain what we would be demonstrating to the kids. His voice was commanding, and it put me under a spell.

  “So, I’ll be the bad guy. My goal is to make it to where Ms. Reed can’t move. I’ll try to pin her down. Her goal is to get away from me or make sure I can’t pin her down.” He cleared his throat, ripping his gaze away from me and scanning the class. “This is what you and your partner will be doing so please, pay attention.”

  My breath hitched as his arms wrapped around my waist. “Are you okay with this?” he asked softly in my ear. I nodded in response. “You see, when someone grabs you from behind, they want to carry you away, so when you are lifted up, you need to throw your head back into them and scream. Go ahead, Ms. Reed.”

  He lifted me up and my head flew back into his chest as hard as I could muster and I let out a piercing scream. His hold faltered and I was able to twist out of his clutch. My nose brushed against his as I twisted, and I swore there was electricity fizzing in the air as we gazed into each other’s eyes.

  The class clapped. “Great job. Do you see how she was able to twist out of my hold? That’s the goal here. Go ahead and pair up and try this move. But remember, we don’t want to hurt our partner. Be aware of that.”

  Heat rose up my neck as my thoughts drifted to how immeasurable it was to be in his arms.

  Asher supplied a cheeky grin. “Thanks for helping me with that. It’s easier to demonstrate with another adult than have a student volunteer.”

  I blew out a slow stream of held breath before I pressed my lips into a flat line. “I’m glad I was helpful.”

  He hesitated, cracking his neck. “You were more than helpful.”

  “I should go.” My feet were walking me out of the gym in a haste before I knew it. My guilty conscience was eating me alive. I was engaged. I had to stop thinking about Asher.

  Once I was back in the safety of my classroom, I picked up the phone and called Preston.

  “Hello?” His voice was gruff as he answered.

  “How’s your day going?” My voice cracked. I hated the way it felt when I spoke to him—like I had to walk on eggshells.

  “Is that really why you called?”

  “No, but I was still wondering how you were doing today. You didn’t come home last night.”

  He groaned. “I was at work.”

  All night?

  “Um, anyway, I wanted to let you know that I had to help out with a self-defense lesson with Asher today.” The tension left my body. It was a relief telling him what happened.

  He exhaled a long breath. “Why even tell me?”

  My tongue darted out to wet my chapped lips. “
I wanted you to know that we were in close physical contact after what I told you last night. Having open communication is important to me.”

  “That seems like high school drama and I honestly don’t give a fuck. How many times do I have to tell you that?” he snapped.

  “Sorry to waste your time then,” I remarked before he abruptly ended the call.

  I glared at my phone and slammed it down. Frustration with him made tears trickle down my cheeks. I laid my head down on my desk. If the roles were reversed, I knew I would care. His lack of a reaction was concerning and I hated it. Something had to change. I longed for the man I got to know a year ago. The one before this stupid ring was on my finger. Maybe then I would stand a fighting chance against these feelings for Asher.

  I packed stacks of to-be-graded papers into my tote before Asher and I walked to his truck.

  “Would you like to get something to eat?” he asked as he pulled out of the school parking lot.

  My stomach answered for me, as it growled loudly after he asked the question. “I guess I am pretty hungry,” I said, sheepishly.

  He hummed and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “What about the coffee shop in town? They have great sandwiches.”

  “That sounds fantastic. I love their bagel sandwiches.” I grinned.

  “I remember that.” He smiled back. “You always got the same sandwich whenever Luca and I would take you after school.”

  “Damn right. Some things never change!” My stomach growled at the thought of it.

  “Though, others change drastically.” He shook his head as he pulled into a parking spot close to the door.

  The coffee shop was a quaint little place. It was a chestnut brown, wooden cabin and had real wood floors and walls. It usually had a rich coffee scent. It was the only coffee shop in Violet Ridge. It was literally named The Coffee Shop. A mom and pop shop that came in when I was in middle school and it’s been booming ever since. They had every type of coffee imaginable and they served bagel sandwiches. Meat and cheese in between a bagel sounded crazy at first but I fell in love with it at first taste.