Worth It

by Linda Kage

  “Bossy,” she muttered under her breath but climbed anyway. Once she was out of the pit with water streaming off her long lean limbs, I concentrated on climbing out myself so I couldn’t admire just how good she looked wet.

  She tiptoed barefoot to her bag and dug out a plush, oversized beach towel before wrapping it around her and hiding all the best parts.

  As I made it up to the dock and shook water from my arms, Felicity blinked wide blue eyes. “Didn’t you bring a towel?”

  I shook my head as I hand-wiped most of the moisture off my face. “I always air dry.”

  Except, today, a towel would’ve been damn handy, because Felicity’s lips parted as she scoped out my bare chest. Then, as if she were following the path of a single wet droplet, she ran her gaze down, over my abs, and fuck… I silently begged her to stop.

  Don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t look—

  Shit, she looked down, and her eyes bugged when she saw how closely the wet suction of my swim trunks clung to me...and my raging erection.

  Embarrassed out of my ever-loving mind, I rushed out words, not even sure what I was saying. “D-do you want to sit? We should sit. Let’s sit down.”

  I plopped my ass onto the dock so fast I think I jarred my cock. With a wince, I bent up a leg, hiding proof of my arousal, even though it was way too late for that kind of modest shit now.

  Felicity kept standing a second longer before clearing her throat and slowly lowering herself a good three feet away. Far enough away that she could be sure my dick couldn’t accidentally swing out and whack her in the shin or anything.

  I swallowed and looked out over the water, trying to think up something to say, ask her if she was warmer now, how her day had gone, hell, what she thought of the weather. Or maybe I should just come right out and address it. Yes, I had a hard-on. For her. We’d almost kissed; why wouldn’t I be sporting wood. Right?

  But yeah, I just couldn’t.

  Things had been going so good only a minute ago. I’d had her relaxed and willing in my arms, her lips already puckering for my kiss. Where the hell had all this awkwardness come from?

  I wished she’d say something like she usually did to smooth out an uneasy silence. But I think she was as embarrassed as I was and couldn’t talk any more than I could.

  Hell, I would’ve welcomed one of her lame jokes right about now.

  Wait.

  That was it!

  “Okay, I have one,” I said, breaking the silence.

  She looked over, her blue eyes big with surprise and maybe a little leery anxiety. “One what?”

  “Joke,” I said.

  She blinked. Then blinked again. Face finally relaxing, she smiled a smile that made everything inside me come to life. Then she spun on her tush until she was facing me. Snuggling deeper into her towel, she announced, “Okay, I’m ready.”

  “Okay,” I repeated, and then cleared my throat. “Why does Humpty Dumpty like autumn?”

  Her eyebrows furrowed as she frowned thoughtfully. It was so adorable, my fingers itched to reach for her and yank her against me. A second later, she shook her head. “I have no clue. Why?”

  “Because he had such a great fall.”

  Felicity stared at me without reaction for a full five seconds before she exploded. “What? How is that any less cheesy than the jokes I tell?”

  “It’s not,” I admitted. “I think you just dragged me to the tacky side.” Unable to help myself any longer, I reached out. Grasping the back of her neck, I pulled her into me as I leaned forward onto my knees to meet her halfway.

  She gasped a split second before my mouth met hers. The taste of her surprise was sweet and addictive.

  “Hi,” I said against her lips in between simple, but long closed-mouth kisses.

  She grinned back and murmured, “Hi.” Her smile felt so good I had my tongue sliding against hers a breath later. My fingers delicately cupped the sides of her throat as she arched closer and grasped a handful of my hair at the base of my neck.

  I groaned and she gave a hungry whimper. When her towel slipped off one shoulder, my greedy fingers reached for all that bare flesh. Down her soft arm, my palm slowed when I realized it was gliding over tiny knots. I pulled back to frown at her skin. “You still have goose bumps.”

  “Don’t worry. I’m not cold at all.”

  A couple water drops clung to her lashes as she blinked and moved her gaze to my chest. I realized I had goose bumps too, and I wasn’t cold either. In fact, I was burning up.

  Still staring at me with a dazed kind of wonder, Felicity puffed out a breath and slowly lifted her hand...toward my chest. I held all the air in my lungs until she made contact, and then I released it with a rush as her soft, hesitant fingers slid up my ribcage and toward my pecs.

  When her thumb brushed across my nipple, I made an involuntary sound. Then I was reaching for her, burying one hand in her hair and pressing my mouth to the side of her throat and the other hand around her waist to urge her forward, against me...right into my lap. Her thighs naturally spread to straddle me as she slid into place, and my teeth nipped at the wet black strap of her swimming suit, aching to bite into it and draw it off her shoulder, expose her breasts to me and—

  I hadn’t realized my arm had tightened so much around her waist and tugged her quite so deep into my lap until my aching cock pressed right up between her legs, only the damp cloth of our swimwear separating us.

  She stiffened in my arms, and I froze.

  “Is this too much?” I asked against her shoulder, fearing that if I looked into her face right now, I’d see fear or disgust. But a breath later, she relaxed into me and pressed even harder against my erection

  “No,” she said as she nuzzled her cheek against mine.

  It was too much for me, though. Hearing her breathless answer, feeling her in my lap, smelling her, tasting her, I wanted more. I wanted everything. So I kept pressing my forehead to her shoulder without diving back into her lips. Except, I could picture them perfectly in my head, still parted, and dewy, and so freaking tempting. I wrapped both arms around her and pulled her in until I had my chin tucked over her shoulder. Refusing to make eye contact, I gazed out toward the water so I couldn’t be tempted by the sight of her mouth again.

  She burrowed against me and hugged me back. For such a skinny girl, she was an amazing hugger. And her breasts definitely didn’t seem so small when they were flush up against me. We fit together perfectly. She was soft and warm and feminine.

  There was so much weird shit going on inside me, things I’d never experienced before that went way above mere physical need. It overwhelmed the fuck out of me.

  I combed my fingers through her hair to hide the way they’d begun to shake.

  Then she had to go and admit, “I can’t remember the last time I was hugged,” and that intense awareness in me me coiled even tighter around my heart until my entire chest felt compacted and full.

  “Then I’ll hug you every day,” I promised.

  My erection dug against her feminine warmth and her hard nipples poked through her swimming suit and right into my chest, but I didn’t even care to push for more. Because simply hugging Felicity Bainbridge to my heart was the most fulfilling sensation in the world.

  “What the fuck!” I growled as I pinned Pick to the wall of his office by his throat. “What the actual fuck? You lied to me.”

  He lifted his hands, though the calming gesture did little to placate me. “I take it Felicity is a trigger with you. Good to know.”

  I thumped him against drywall. “This isn’t funny.”

  He sputtered out a sound. “Trust me, man. I’m not laughing. But I am curious. Are you pissed to hear her name because you blame her for what happened or because you’re upset to learn how she turned out?”

  My fingers tightened in his shirt as I narrowed my eyes. “Why would I blame her for anything?”

  He blew out a breath. “You shouldn’t. And it’s a relief to hear yo
u say you don’t. Now back up off me so I can breathe. Then I’ll explain everything. I never lied to you.”

  I let go of his jugular and lifted both hands as I took a step back. “So, what? You just forgot to mention she works here? She fucking works here? Did you never hear what happened to us?”

  The fucker took his sweet time answering as he straightened his shirt and wiped a palm over his face before drawing in a deep breath. Then, all he said was, “Oh, I heard. It was the big talk in our neighborhood months after you were arrested.”

  That’s when I lost it. My breathing had picked up and my core temperature broiled off the charts. Even my fingers tingled with the urge to curl them into fists and start swinging. But learning she worked here—with me—was more than I could take.

  “How can she work here, the daughter of a millionaire? She should be off at some Ivy League university getting a doctorate in fucking psychology while she’s engaged to some rich son of a bitch, who showers her with love and affection and all that shit. She should not be here, slaving as a waitress in some seedy-ass bar with all kinds of scumbags grabbing her ass whenever she brings them their beer. What...the fuck?”

  Glowering, Pick folded his arms over his chest. “Okay, I’m going to ignore the fact you just called my highly classy nightclub seedy, and I’m going to tell you Felicity cut ties with her family the day she turned eighteen. She never went to college…because she couldn’t afford it. She struggles just to make ends meet.”

  The air felt socked from my lungs as I stared at him. I couldn’t quite understand what I was hearing, because it made no sense at all. “No.” I shook my head, confused. When Pick opened his mouth to say more, I banged him once more against the wall. “Why would she do that? Why?”

  She had to have gone to college. It’d been her life goal. Her dream to be a child psychologist. I’d spent the last six years surviving hell and convincing myself it’d been worth it because at least she’d been able to follow her dream. That was the only thing I’d ever wanted. I couldn’t bear to hear otherwise. I couldn’t handle learning she’d suffered through one miserable day.

  Except, shit. If she hadn’t gone to college as she’d planned, then she hadn’t become a child psychologist, and she hadn’t done anything she’d really wanted to do. She was stuck working as a fucking waitress, while some douchebag had cheated on her?

  I felt sick to my stomach hearing how she’d moved on to someone else, but Jesus, learning she wasn’t even pampered and cherished and spoiled rotten by the fucker twisted the knife deeper.

  “Why do you think she left them?” Pick asked, reminding me I still held his shirt in my hands and had his back once again rammed against the wall. When he lifted an eyebrow as if I should already know why she’d abandoned her family, I growled.

  “Because of me?”

  When he didn’t answer, I spun away from him and ran my hands over my head, letting the stubble on my scalp scrape against my palms. My stomach heaved, and I worried I really might be sick. So I bent at the knees and rested my hands on them.

  But the rage and overwhelming helplessness from what I’d just learned consumed me. With a roar, I straightened and kicked the first thing in my path—which happened to be Pick’s desk—with the flat of my foot. It flew over onto its side and crashed to the floor, sending papers and his computer flying.

  When the glass in the screen broke, shattering across the floor, I stared in amazement, unable to believe what I’d done... until the urge to do more flooded me.

  “God...damn it!” I roared at the top of my lungs.

  She was supposed to be taken care of, protected, spoiled, happy.

  Not this.

  The fury and need to destroy took over. I spun toward the wall and reared back my arm, slamming my fist into sheetrock. Absorbing the pain in my knuckles as they split open and bled over the backs of my fingers, I hit the wall again, relishing it.

  “What the hell?!” As the office door burst open, I whirled toward Noel and all the others spilling in behind him, my thirst to punch more peaking.

  But Pick stepped closer, lifting both his hands in a placating manner. “He’ll be fine, guys. Just give us a minute.”

  Except it was obvious to everyone gaping at me and past me toward Pick’s ruined desk and computer that I was anything but fine.

  Noel shook his head. “No way, man. We’re not leaving you alone with this psycho. What’s going on?”

  I stalked toward him. “Are you deaf? He said leave us the fuck alone.” I swung at him, but he ducked.

  And my fist connected with the jaw of the guy behind him.

  Ten immediately howled, clutching his face. “Shit, man. What’d I do?”

  Instantly contrite for catching him and not Noel, even though Ten had annoyed the hell out of me the first day I’d met him, I took a step back, my fingers uncurling. The red disappeared from my vision, and as I blinked it away, the fury subsided.

  “Sorry,” I muttered to my feet.

  Oh, shit. I couldn’t believe I’d just done that. I was worse off than I’d originally feared.

  But Ten’s muffled answer from between his hands, where he was still holding his face, shocked me. “Christ, you have one hell of a right hook.”

  Boggled why he would sound impressed instead of pissed, I blinked at him, and more of my frustrated anger dissolved.

  “Let me see,” Pick said, closing in on Ten and pulling his hand away so he could have a look at the damage. But Ten slapped him off.

  “Fuck you, man, don’t baby me. I’m fine.”

  “Whatever.” Pick slugged him companionably on the shoulder and said, “Put some ice on it. The rest of you, get back to work.” He directed his gaze to Noel. “Parker and I have a few things to discuss. I’ll send him out in a minute.”

  Noel glanced at me, and he didn’t look like he was going to move any time soon.

  I glared back, rumbling, “I’m calm now.”

  Except I wasn’t. My rage had merely morphed into crushing defeat. I was still a complete fucking mess and anything but composed.

  Pick grasped Noel’s arm and hauled him into the hall. “He’s done raging out. I got this. Trust me.”

  Noel opened his mouth to argue, but Pick shut the door in his face.

  I shuddered and glanced at the broken desk and computer. All that needless destruction and yet Felicity was still a cheated-on, homeless waitress. “I’ll buy you new stuff to replace everything and find a different place to stay,” I promised. I knew I should offer to quit the job too, but Christ, I needed the money.

  I hoped to God he didn’t fire me before I’d even started, though I’d totally understand if he did.

  “No, you will not find a different place to stay,” Pick said as he turned to take me in. “And forget about the desk and computer for now. We’ll discuss that later.” But then he shook his head as if disappointed, and the shame spiked inside me.

  I exhaled, deflated. “Fuck.” Sinking into a leather couch I’d left untouched, I buried my face into my hands and tried to will my fingers to stop shaking.

  “She was supposed to go to college,” was all I could think to say. She was supposed to carry on and live her life to the fullest, be happy, content. Not make decisions based on me, which had led her to the crappy existence she had now.

  A hand landed on my shoulder. “How she ended up isn’t your fault.” I glanced up at him, and he squeezed me tighter. “And I wouldn’t even say she’s that miserable. She’s actually a very upbeat person.”

  Of course she was. She’d always been able to find the bright side of things. She wouldn’t be City if she couldn’t. And she’d promised me she would stay that way.

  An ache spread through my chest. My eyes stung and my throat closed over.

  But when I caught pity in Pick’s gaze, my jaw knitted. I hated letting him see me this vulnerable, hated that my eyes wouldn’t stop watering. So I growled, “What kind of fucked-up game are you playing? Why didn’t you tell me
up front she worked here?”

  “Because Felicity is my friend,” he started, and I tightened against the pain those words brought.

  Once upon a time, she’d been my friend.

  “Honestly, I hadn’t seen her since high school, not until a couple months ago when she learned I owned this place and came to me for a job. But since then, she’s become part of our family, so my loyalties are with her, which is why I wanted to tell her about you working here before I told you about her...in case she had a problem with it. Except I’ve been unable to reach her and therefore unable to clue her in to what’s going on.”

  I shook my head, not sure if I bought his story. But I couldn’t think up any other reason why he’d shove us together like this. “And if she does have a problem with me working here?” I asked.

  Pick shrugged. “Then I’ll help you find employment elsewhere.”

  I nodded, respecting that for some reason, probably because he’d claimed his loyalty to her. I couldn’t outright hate him for backing her up. But still...what the fuck had he gotten me into?

  I’d told myself I would not look her up when I got out, I would not find out where she was or what she was doing. I’d leave her the fuck alone, because that was what was best for her. Yet now I was working at the same goddamn bar as her? Because of Pick Ryan? It was all just...

  “Unbelievable,” I muttered as I wiped my hands over my face and stood so I could pace the room. “Why did you even hire me in the first place?”

  “A couple of reasons. I really do need another bartender, and I remember you. You have all the values I demand in an employee.”

  I sniffed. “Values?” Spreading my arms, I motioned to his demolished office. “Did you not see what I just did?”

  Pick glanced at his broken things impassively, then returned his attention to me. “What I saw was a man full of a lot of anger and resentment over the injustice he’s been served, over learning the woman he loves hasn’t had the easiest time of it. But I also saw a man who pulled back as soon as he struck out at one of my boys. I’ve seen someone gentle with my children, patient with my nosey wife, and respectful in my home. So, trust me. I’m pretty confident I have you pegged right, Parker.”