Leave Me Breathless

by Jodi Ellen Malpas

  Katrina’s secret smile faded as she glanced around their yacht. There was no time anymore for spur-of-the-moment trips to Paris. There was no time for her to paint and explore her own passions. There was only time to be Jarrad’s wife. When did it all change? She looked at her husband who was lowering himself to his chair, his bespoke suit pristine, every strand of his hair in place, and not a wrinkle on his forehead. A few months ago, Jarrad took her along to one of his appointments with his private doctor. Botox. Apparently, Jarrad decided Katrina was ready for it, too. She was too shocked at the time to say no. Her husband’s obsession with perfection was climbing as high as his bank balance.

  “No need to apologize,” Hayley said, nudging Katrina from her thoughts.

  “None at all,” Curtis chipped in, rolling his wine around his glass, coating the sides before taking a sip and moaning his approval. Of course the wine was good. Everything was good when you moved in the same circle as Jarrad Knight, and Curtis, being Jarrad’s long-serving, loyal right-hand man, certainly moved in Jarrad’s circle. “Chapoutier Ermitage l’Ermite Blanc,” Curtis said on a sigh. “Damn, that’s divine.” He toasted the air and grinned at Jarrad.

  “The year?” Jarrad asked his friend, wanting specifics.

  “Twenty thirteen.”

  “Correct.” He took a sip himself and rolled it around his mouth as Katrina watched, his eyes closing in bliss. She didn’t understand it; the wine that set her husband back four hundred pounds a bottle was terribly acidic, gave her rotten heartburn. Jarrad insisted on having the luxury wine with most meals. If it wasn’t available wherever they were going, he’d have it shipped. It was just another status symbol. Their wine cellar was jam-packed with the stuff.

  “I take it fish is on the menu.” Just as Curtis uttered the words, a beautifully dressed lobster was placed in the center of their table, and it was all Katrina could do not to decorate it with vomit. She urgently reached for her water again and chugged down another glass before taking her cloth napkin and patting at her dampening forehead.

  “Are you okay?” Hayley asked, a worried frown marring her lovely face.

  “Katrina’s had a little too much sun, I think,” Jarrad piped in. “She’ll be fine with a little wine.” He looked at the butler and nodded, and a glass was immediately poured for his wife.

  “Thank you.” Katrina took a discreet breath before she managed a tiny sip as her husband watched, forcing her lips not to twist as she swallowed. “Stunning.” She smiled and set her glass down.

  “Tomorrow we’re exploring the caves.” Jarrad diverted the conversation swiftly away from his wife’s queasiness. “There are some beautiful waterfalls and rock pools on the island.”

  Curtis nodded agreeably. “The Taynee?”

  “Yes, it’s been on my bucket list for years,” Jarrad said with a smile, fixing his tie. Katrina hated that tie. It was blood red. Jarrad’s favorite. “Since we’re here for a week and our meetings don’t start until Wednesday, I thought we’d take the girls out for the day.”

  Katrina was looking forward to tomorrow. She knew of Jarrad’s plan because she’d heard him on the phone in his office back home arranging a helicopter to get them to the other side of the island. But she didn’t want to spoil his surprise. So she widened her eyes and feigned shock. “Oh my God, Jarrad! I can’t wait. What time are we heading out?” She also knew that part after searching his desk for the itinerary.

  His smile was fond and proud. “After breakfast.” He motioned for their guests to help themselves to the lobster while he relaxed back in his chair. He turned his eyes onto his wife, looking down at the sleeves of her dress. She saw that flash of displeasure, but he was quick to blink it back.

  “How’s Tilly?” Katrina asked Hayley, redirecting the attention from her husband.

  “Oh, a typical six-year-old girl. Knows it all.” She laughed, at the same time rolling her eyes. “It’s nice to have a little break from being Mum, to be honest, and you two know how to show people a good time. So cheers to the Knights.”

  “Hear, hear.” Curtis chinked glasses with his wife. “God, they’re hard work at that age.”

  “How would you know?” Hayley gave her husband an expectant look. “You’re working sixteen-hour days with Jarrad taking over the tech world.”

  “And we’re doing a damn fine job of that, right, Jarrad?” Curtis tucked into his lobster as Jarrad laughed softly. If Jarrad Knight was anything, it was driven, focused, and power-hungry.

  “What about you?” Hayley asked Katrina. “When are you two going to take the plunge and have children?”

  Katrina laughed under her breath, flicking her nervous eyes to her husband. His smile was wicked. “My gorgeous wife knows I’d have a baby tomorrow.” He topped up her wine, giving her a roguish wink. “I don’t know why she won’t indulge me.”

  “Because I like having you to myself.” Katrina couldn’t very well tell him that she was scared to become a mother. She didn’t want to upset him or give him reason to doubt her ability. Because to him, she was supposed to be perfect, and that would make her quite imperfect. “For now, anyway.”

  “Greedy girl,” Jarrad quipped, and they all laughed.

  * * *

  The evening passed by quickly, the chatter and laughs constant. Jarrad and Curtis talked tactics for an upcoming merger, but the women checked out of that conversation rather speedily, leaving the men to talk business as they strolled across the deck to the bow of the yacht to watch the sun drop into the ocean. The main sail cracked in the wind, the breeze increasing, forcing Katrina to wrap an arm around herself.

  “So beautiful,” Hayley mused as they stood with their wine in hand. “I don’t know how I came to be so lucky, but I’ll never take it for granted.”

  Katrina hummed on a small smile, sipping some more wine. She didn’t know if her slight alcohol buzz was masking her earlier sickness, but she felt a little better. The outlandishly expensive wine was good for something, after all. “To be blessed with money, happiness, and good men.”

  Hayley chuckled and nudged her friend in the arm lightly. “To good men.”

  “Cheers to that.” Katrina raised her glass to the sunset, and as she did, her wedding rings sparkled blindingly.

  “Jesus, let me fetch my shades,” Hayley teased, not missing the flashes of light from the diamonds decorating Katrina’s ring finger. Jarrad had bought Katrina an eternity ring for their recent six-year anniversary, and the new addition to her wedding band and engagement ring took that one single finger from insanely expensive to priceless. All three rings were commissioned, the stones rare and precious. The heart-shaped yellow diamond of Katrina’s engagement ring was complemented by two diamond-encrusted bands, made specifically to frame the huge showpiece. They never left her finger. The thought of taking them off gave her cold sweats. She never asked Jarrad their value, wouldn’t dream of it, but she had seen the insurance paperwork on his desk in his home office. The rings on her finger would buy a substantial family house on the outskirts of London. Her husband loved nothing more than lavishing her in expensive jewelry. He didn’t need excuses to buy her nice pieces, but he always seemed to have one. He took the greatest satisfaction in flaunting his wealth, to make sure everyone knew he had pots of cash, whereas Katrina was far more humble. She didn’t see their wealth as something to be proud of. In fact, she would go as far as to say she hated their money.

  “He has exceptional taste, your husband,” Hayley said.

  “He does.” Katrina cocked a sideways grin. “He married me, after all.”

  The friends laughed together and returned to watching the sun go down. The amber rays were almost fluorescent, the ocean sparkling madly.

  It was beautiful.

  Perfect.

  Just like their lives.

  Chapter Twenty

  HANNAH

  Just when I thought I could finally relax, all it took was one little thing, one little reminder, and that familiar spiraling sense o
f fear from years gone by took me prisoner. I was at its mercy. I couldn’t control my fear. Couldn’t think clearly. So I hid. And I listened. My mind spun off endless scenarios. I convinced myself he’d found me again. That he was in my store. That my life would be over.

  And I would do anything to protect myself.

  Then I saw Ryan’s face. Heard his voice. Felt safety engulf me. Suddenly everything was going to be okay. But what if I had pulled the trigger?

  As I lie next to Ryan, watching him sleeping, my hand resting on his bristly cheek, I make myself a promise to be more in control in the future. To not let my fear beat me. A simple picture of a face from my past brought my new world crashing down, almost beyond repair. I can’t let that happen again. I can’t ruin this new, beautiful thing I have with Ryan.

  Leaning in, I kiss the corner of his mouth softly, smiling when he hums sleepily. Then I carefully edge off the bed and go to make coffee. I’m not single. That’s what he said amid the madness. The man who’s made me not single is in my bed. Sleeping. After staying the night with me. “Don’t fuck this up, Hannah,” I say to myself. Ryan’s a good man. He deserves my all. But one thing I have to accept is that he can’t have one piece of me. My secrets. No one can ever know that part of me. That alone could ruin everything.

  Once I’ve made Ryan’s coffee, I set it by the bed, then throw on my red dress and head downstairs as I knot my hair. It’s only now I notice the time. “Shit,” I blurt at the clock, blinking my sleepy eyes and checking again. Nine o’clock. How did that happen? I walk to the door and check out on the street, seeing the usual suspects all out in force, going about their daily business. I’d better wake up Ryan.

  I pivot and hurry back through the store, but a rap at the door stalls me by the checkout. I look back and laugh when I see Alex’s face squished up against the glass. She spots me, and her eyes light up as she waves somewhat frantically.

  I rush over and open the door for her, and she bursts through in a whirlwind. “Where’s Dad? I need to speak to Dad.” She flies around in a panic, to every corner of my store, like she might find him tucked away in a nook. Does she remember how big her dad is?

  “What’s up?” I ask, closing the door.

  “It’s my mum.”

  “Oh my God, is she okay?”

  Alex quits the urgent march and levels me with a serious look. “No, she’s not okay.”

  “Why, what’s wrong with her?”

  “I think she’s in love with my dad.”

  I cough on nothing, not sure what I’m supposed to say to that. From what I know, Darcy and Ryan share a mutual hatred. “What makes you think that?” I ask, and instantly wonder if I should have kept my stupid mouth shut. It’s nothing to do with me. But then again…I look back to the stairway to my apartment. He’s in my bed. I’m not single. God, am I going to find myself with competition? Should I be worried? Am I worried?

  “She spoke about him more last night than she’s spoken about him in my entire life. And all nice stuff.” Alex stamps her foot and starts pacing again, throwing her arms up and down. “God damn him, he should never have pulled that knight-in-shining-armor stunt and saved her. She’s gone all mushy.”

  Now I’m definitely worried. “What knight-in-shining-armor stunt?”

  Alex freezes, turned away from me. I wait for her to answer me, hating the swirl of anxiety in my gut. Darcy Hampton is a woman who gets what she wants. I knew that after spending two seconds in her company. Am I capable of fighting for a man? Do I want to? Do I have the strength? God, I knew all this was too good to be true. Finding Ryan, his daughter accepting me. Coming to terms with what I need to do in order to move forward. And now his ex is going to swoop in on her Manolo Blahniks and take my happy place away.

  Alex eventually turns to face me, a stupidly fake smile on her face. “You feeling better?”

  “What?”

  “Dad said you were ill.”

  I am ill. I feel sick to my stomach. But my brain quickly engages, telling me Ryan must’ve made up the excuse on the phone last night to save telling the truth, which, of course, he can’t do. Because he doesn’t know the damn truth. “Much better.” I take myself behind the counter and open my laptop, just for something to do. She hasn’t answered my question, and I hate that I need her to. But I refuse to ask again. So I tap at the keys aimlessly, the silence stretching.

  I look up at her and she gives me straight lips, and I go back to tapping. I look at her again. More straight lips. God damn it. I slam the lid down. “What knight-in-shining-armor act, Alex?”

  “Urghhhhhh.” She sags, her head dropping. “So there was this thing that happ—”

  She’s interrupted when the door flings open and Darcy Hampton appears. “There you are!” She breezes in, smiley, looking all casual in jeans, riding boots, and a Barbour jacket.

  I cock my head, eyeing her suspiciously. She looks rather outdoorsy, actually. Oh my. The stops have been well and truly pulled out. Whatever knight-in-shining-armor act Ryan has performed for Alex’s mother, she’s running with it.

  “Hi!” she sings, pulling off her leather gloves and picking up a pot of paint from the shelf, inspecting it. “Alexandra tells me you’re running a painting competition at my parents’ town fete on Sunday.”

  I shoot Alex a look, and she shrugs. “Yes,” I say, because it’s all I have.

  “How exciting!” Darcy proceeds to collect up a few more pots and brings them to the counter. “My girl had better get practicing, then.” Giving me a delighted grin, she pulls out her Mulberry wallet from her Mulberry handbag and hands me her black Amex. This is a very different reception from the last time I saw Darcy Hampton. She seems…bouncy. Nice. Polite. Alex is right to be worried. And so am I.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t take American Express,” I say, smiling in apology.

  She recoils, looking rather indignant. “Whyever not?”

  “The transaction fee is so high. I simply can’t sustain it.”

  “Oh.” She tucks it back in. “I’m afraid I don’t carry cash.”

  “It’s fine.” I push the paints across the counter, keen to get her out of here. I hope Ryan is still asleep. I can tell Alex is concerned, too. She keeps flicking nervous looks up to the ceiling. “You can pop in and settle up with me when you have some.”

  “Oh.” Darcy beams at me. “How very lovely of you.”

  “No problem.” I quickly load the pots into a carrier bag and walk around the counter, taking the bag to the door with me and opening it for her. “Let me know if you need any help, Alex,” I say as I hold up the bag on a smile and Darcy takes it, returning my friendliness.

  “Come on, Mum,” Alex says urgently, claiming Darcy’s hand and pulling her onward. “Lots to do, so little time to do it.”

  “What’s the rush?” Darcy laughs, pulling her hand from Alex’s and rearranging her bag in the crook of her arm. “Oh, wait, where did I leave my gloves?” She turns and scans the store. “Ah, there they are,” she says as she makes her way back to the counter.

  Darcy only takes a few strides in her fancy riding boots before coming to an abrupt halt, just as Ryan comes breezing in from the back, his head down as he rubs at his hair with a towel. His chest is bare. His jeans are undone.

  “I would have liked a cuddle in bed when I woke up,” he says, and I cringe. “And a shower together.”

  Darcy gasps, and Ryan looks up. His smile drops, as does the towel to the floor. “Darcy,” he breathes, his blue eyes all big and round and What the fuck? “What a surprise.”

  “Shit,” Alex hisses, her back flopping against the door. I’m with her. What a shitter.

  “Oh my,” Darcy all but murmurs, standing stock-still in the middle of my store. “I didn’t…I wasn’t aware…” She flies around, and I take no pleasure from the embarrassment on her face. She marches forward, not even looking at me as she passes. “Come along, Alexandra.” She’s gone like lightning, and Alex sighs, giving Ryan a look of pure exasper
ation.

  “What?” he asks, showing the ceiling his palms. “I didn’t know she was here.”

  “Yeah, well, she certainly knows you’re here. Half naked. God, Dad!”

  “What are you doing here, anyway?” he asks.

  “I left Mum in the store to come find you.”

  “Oh, so it’s your fault.” Ryan dips and collects the towel.

  “I was dealing with something urgent,” she cries. “I needed to tell you.”

  Ryan’s instantly alert. “What?”

  I move to the table in the middle of the store and start faffing with the display of art tools, feeling like an intruder. I still don’t know what this knight-in-shining-armor stunt is. Am I going to find out?

  “I think Mum is in love with you.”

  Ryan bursts into hysterical laughter, having to hold the counter to prop himself up. Glad he finds it funny. I roll my eyes, and he must notice that no one’s laughing with him, but rather scowling, and shuts up immediately, his laughter gone, worry replacing it. “You’re joking. Aren’t you?”

  “No!” Alex yells. “Since you beat up Casper on the driveway, she won’t shut up talking about you.”

  “Beat up Casper?” I ask. “Who’s Casper?”

  “Her husband,” they say in unison.

  “And I didn’t beat him up. I simply had a word,” Ryan says quickly, as if that explains everything. It doesn’t. Alex snorts, obviously agreeing with me.

  “Why’d you beat him up?” I fire back, unable to stop myself.

  “Because he got physical with her when she tried to stop him leaving her. I stepped in. That’s all.”

  “Oh.” So he saved her. Now she’s fallen in love with him. I can relate. “I’m sorry, Alex,” I say sincerely, wishing there was something I could do.