Leave Me Breathless

by Jodi Ellen Malpas

  “It was inevitable, I suppose.” She pushes her back off the door and wanders out after her mother. “Bloody parents,” she mutters as she goes.

  The door closes, and I peek across to Ryan. He still looks a little shell-shocked. “It’s gone nine o’clock,” I say like a fool, at a loss. I want to know how he feels about this breaking news. I realize he’s stunned, but is he feeling anything else? Is he considering the potential of playing happy families? Is he wondering if that would be good for Alex? My face screws up. I should be happy for them, I guess. Why wouldn’t he choose a glamour-puss like Darcy Hampton over a messy, broken woman who nearly blew his head off last night?

  “Hannah?” Ryan calls, and I look at him, quickly wiping away my disappointment. “No,” he says simply. I deflate and don’t bother trying to hide it. That’s all he needs to say. “Not even if I didn’t have you.”

  “I feel bad,” I admit, pointing to the door. “She’s gone all outdoorsy.”

  He laughs and comes to me, taking me in his arms. “She’s gone crazy, that’s what she’s done. She doesn’t love me. She’s just looking for a rebound.”

  “Really? How do you know that?”

  “Because that’s exactly what she was looking for eleven years ago when she hunted me down in the pub.”

  “Oh,” I breathe, and he hums and dips, sweeping me off my feet on a squeal. I grab onto his shoulders. “What are you doing?” I laugh as he stalks through the store to the stairs.

  “You owe me a shower and a cuddle in bed.”

  “But I have to open the store!”

  “The store’s open.” He takes the stairs with me draped over his arms, unperturbed by my concern.

  “What if anyone comes in?”

  “Who comes in the store besides me and Alex?”

  “Darcy a few times,” I joke, making him snort a burst of laughter. I grin and kiss his cheek. He chose me.

  “Baby, I don’t think Darcy will be coming back to your store anytime soon.”

  “She better. She owes me cash.”

  He looks at me when we reach the top of the stairs. “What for?”

  “I gave her some advice.”

  His eyebrow quirks. “You did, huh?”

  “Yep.” I raise my nose in the air, and Ryan takes the corner at the top into my apartment. “I told her to stay away from my man.”

  “Good advice.” He launches me into the air and I land with a yelp on the bed. He’s on me a second later, blanketing me with his huge body. And he releases a long, deep, satisfied sigh. “Heaven.”

  Curling myself around him, I silently agree. This has to be heaven, here in his arms. He doesn’t try to rip my clothes off. He doesn’t flex his groin into me. He doesn’t even try to kiss me. He just holds me, and it’s out-of-this-world blissful.

  “I have some friends visiting on Friday for the night,” he says quietly. Friends? How strange I’ve never thought about Ryan’s friends. “We’re having a barbecue,” he goes on. “A few drinks. That kind of thing. Will you come?”

  He wants me to meet his friends? “Yes.” One hundred percent, yes. I get an extra-tight squeeze and another contented sigh. I’m meeting his friends. His daughter knows about me. His daughter’s mother knows about me. Is all this too fast, though? “If you want me to,” I add, searching for the reassurance I suddenly need.

  Ryan lifts a little, looks at me, and rolls his eyes. “Shut up.” He falls back down and chews at my neck, and I laugh, letting him roll us on the bed until I’m on top. He pushes me up until I’m straddling him, then takes my hands, lacing our fingers, and plays for a few moments. What’s he thinking? Or is that a monumentally stupid question? “I want you to know that I’m not going anywhere.” He sets my palms down on his chest and pushes them into his pecs. I smile, unsure where he’s going with this. “When you’re ever scared in the future, I want you to think of me.”

  I don’t mean to, but my body naturally hardens, my hands lifting from his muscled torso. He pushes them back down. “That’s all I’m saying,” he continues. “If you get scared, think of me.”

  “I won’t get scared,” I retort adamantly. I made a promise to myself earlier. I won’t let my past get in the way of my future.

  “You might.” He reaches for my neck and pulls me down until my nose is touching his. “I know I will get scared. And if I do, I’ll think of you. How much you make me smile. How complete you make me feel.”

  I melt on him. “Why would you be scared?”

  “Because being in a relationship is scary.”

  He doesn’t mean that, but I appreciate his sentiment. “So we’re in a relationship?”

  “I hope so,” he whispers around a grin, rolling his forehead against mine before kissing me softly as his hand skates under my dress and tugs at the waist of my knickers. He rolls us again, and a second later my underwear is gone, his jeans are around his thighs, my dress around my waist, and he rears back and pushes into me on a strangled groan.

  And once again, I’m breathless.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  RYAN

  Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I toss the overflowing pan into the sink and dance around the kitchen, cursing my head off as I shake my hand. After three laps, I finally locate enough sense through the pain to get it under the tap. I flip on the cold and shove my hand into the flow, hissing as steam billows up from the burning pan. I groan and lean against the counter, the relief instant on my throbbing hand. That’ll teach me for daydreaming.

  I take a peek at the damage, seeing a red welt forming on top of my wrist. Great. I snatch a clean towel from the shelf, then go to the freezer for some ice and wrap it in the cloth, holding it on my wrist as I glance at the clock. Five P.M. Jake and Camille should be here soon.

  I hear the sound of rustling leaves and look out the window, smiling before I see her appear around the corner on her bike. I hurry to the door and wedge myself up against the frame, all pain forgotten, and watch her. Just look at her. She’s pulling her little trailer, having to stand to pedal and get it up the small incline. Since Alex and I presented Hannah with her new, improved bike on Tuesday, she’s refused any rides in my truck. That’s the downside. The upside is this—watching her face as she does what Hannah does best. Smile. Be Hannah.

  When she spots me, she waves like a loon, sitting back in the saddle. “Hey, look,” she calls. “No hands!” Her arms fly up into the air, and my heart flies up into my throat.

  “Be careful!” I yell, and she laughs, taking them back to the handles and squeezing the brakes. She rolls to a stop but remains in the seat, her legs stretched to full length so her feet reach the ground. “Evening,” I say, my eyes running up and down her legs. The denim shorts she’s wearing are my favorite, and today they’re matched with a cute little cropped gingham blouse.

  “Evening,” she replies around a grin.

  “Good day?”

  “I sold another painting.” Her excitement is palpable.

  “That’s great.” I’m chuffed for her. “Who to this time?” This is the third piece of art she’s sold, the first two being to a new fan in Scotland.

  “The guy in Scotland.”

  “Wow. Sounds like he’s developing a bit of a fixation. Should I be worried?”

  “He really loves my work.” She swings her leg over the crossbar and kicks the stand down, letting the bike rest. “I just posted it to him. I imagine his castle full of my work in the not-too-distant future.” Reaching up to her hair, she tightens the bow on her cream head scarf. “Where’s Alex?”

  “Darcy’s dropping her off soon.” I give her a pained look, and she reads it well. It’s Friday, and Darcy has avoided me since the incident at Hannah’s store on Monday, which is cool with me. I’ve spent the last few days smiling, because I’ve been with Hannah and Cabbage for most of them. I am a man in his element. I’m also a man dreading having to deal with his daughter’s mother. A woman I slept with one time and have had to endure for the last decade. I’ve droppe
d off Alex and picked her up numerous times in the past three days, and each time Darcy has avoided me. Alex says she’s quiet. Unusually so. I need to sort this out.

  “Well, at least she’s not boiling rabbits in your kitchen.” Hannah remains by her bike, and I remain at the door. “What time are your friends due to arrive?”

  “Anytime.” I frown when she still makes no attempt to come to me. “Are you gonna stay there all night, or come here and give me a kiss?”

  Her eyes radiate vivacity as she twiddles her fingers. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll stay here.”

  “Get that cute little colorful arse over here now.”

  “Why don’t you get that cute big muscled arse over here now?”

  Fine by me. I have no problem letting her believe she has the control. Because she absolutely does. I push my shoulder off the frame and mosey on over, but I only take a few paces before she starts to move, too. Ah, the magnetism at play. The energy pulling her toward me. I stop, but Hannah doesn’t, her pace quickening until she’s running with a stupid big smile on her face. I brace myself for her attack and catch her when she launches her body at me, the force sending me in a spin. Literally. She’s head and shoulders above me, she jumped that high, her arse resting just right on my forearms, my face level with her boobs. I can’t help myself. I sink my face into her cleavage and breathe in. Her laughter sends blood straight to where it shouldn’t be right now. I growl and tear myself away, looking up at her. I swear, the face beaming down at me could blow my fucking dick off. “Stop smiling,” I order, walking us back to the cabin.

  “Why?” she chuckles, messing up my hair by rubbing her hands through it a few times.

  “Your smile does things to me.” Every part of Hannah does things to me. “And we don’t have time.” Just as I say that, I hear the sound of tires, and Hannah looks up over my head. I don’t need to turn to see who it is. Hannah tensing tells me. “Darcy?” I ask anyway.

  She starts to wriggle in my hold, trying to break away. It annoys me more than it should, and I find myself clinging to her harder. “Ryan.”

  “What?” I grunt, performing a 180 and releasing my arms so Hannah slips down, just a bit, and I can see. Though I still keep hold of her, even if she’s pretty much dangling from my front. Darcy remains at the wheel, but Alex dives out and declares her arrival with a cartwheel across the lawn. She’s top-to-toe in Darcy’s style once again. It doesn’t bode well. Is her mother going to go back to being a mega bitch?

  “Go talk to her,” Hannah whispers in my ear, reaching behind her and taking my arms, pulling them apart. “Like a brave boy.”

  I throw her a tired look, despite knowing she’s right. We have to put this to bed. “Fine,” I mutter as Alex lands next to us.

  She grabs my hand and holds it up. “What did you do?”

  “Yeah, what did you do?” Hannah joins in the concern party, taking my hand from Alex and unwrapping the tea towel. She hisses at what she finds. I’d forgotten about it, to be honest. Now it hurts again.

  “It’s just a steam burn.” I reclaim my limb and wave off their fussing. “Why don’t you two go finish off in the kitchen.” I claim them both and push them inside before they can protest, closing the door on them. If this gets ugly, I want them out of the firing line of insults that I’m expecting to be tossed my way. I hear the sound of Darcy’s engine revving. She’s making her escape. No, no. Let’s get this sorted out.

  Jogging down to the car, I put up my hand, a kind of I come in peace gesture. She looks like a petulant child as she lets the window drop, still looking forward when I make it to her side. “Hey,” I say lamely.

  “Hello,” she sniffs curtly. Oh, welcome back, Darcy Hampton. “Is there something you wanted?”

  No, but I hear there’s something you wanted. I quickly shake off that wild thought and brace my hands on the edge of her window, leaning in. Be a grown-up, Ryan. She moves away, looking at me out the corner of her eye. “So, you might have guessed,” I begin, feeling awkward as shit. “I’m seeing someone.” How the fuck is this conversation supposed to go, anyway? How does a father tell his daughter’s mother that he has a girlfriend? Is he supposed to? Especially since said mother didn’t want him to be a father to their daughter. Really, I don’t even owe her this time. But again, for the sake of Alex and peace, I push back my resentment.

  “How lovely.” She turns a tight smile my way. “I’m happy for you.”

  “You are?” I say, cocking my head. “Because, fuck me, Darcy, you actually look like you want to stab me right now.”

  Her nostrils flare. “You’re such an ape.”

  Now I’m an ape? Earlier this week, according to my daughter, she was in love with me. Okay, so that might be Alex being dramatic, but I do know what I witnessed myself. And that was Darcy Hampton being nice to this ape. Darcy Hampton wanted to cook supper for this ape. Darcy Hampton went all outdoorsy for this ape. For fuck’s sake. The woman is impossible. “Unlucky for you, Darcy,” I say, pushing myself off the side of her car and standing up straight. “That means our daughter is half ape, too.” I smile sweetly, and she throws me a look that puts all other filthy looks to shame.

  “You disgust me.” Ramming her car into gear, she slams her foot down and speeds off, kicking up dirt and leaves in my face. Well, that’s karma, if ever there was some. She owed me that, I guess.

  I look to the heavens and groan, dragging my hands down my face. That didn’t go exactly how I planned, but I don’t know what I expected. A hug? Her blessing? Tears of happiness that after all these years I’ve found my person? Fat chance, Ryan.

  “How’d it go?” Hannah calls from the door, drying her hands on a tea towel as Alex muscles in at her side.

  I smile and give a stupid thumbs-up. “Perfect.” And they both disperse happily. “Shit.”

  My phone rings, and I quickly pull it out, hissing when I scrape my burn on my pocket. “About fucking time,” I mutter to myself as I answer Lucinda’s call. “I’ve been calling, texting.”

  “Busy, busy,” she replies. “I had a shitstorm in the PR department to deal with.”

  “And I’m not the cause? Fucking hell.”

  “I know. We’re celebrating later. Shame you’re not here.”

  “Have one for me. Now what do you have?” I walk away from the cabin, checking over my shoulder as I go. I can see them through the window, faffing around the kitchen, laughing and chatting. My girls.

  “Hannah Bright didn’t exist before 2014.”

  “What?” I freeze, my hand tightening around my phone at my ear.

  “I’ve gone back as far as I can. The trail ends in June 2014. She lived in Tenerife for a few years, rented a room above a bar. She rented the store a few months back and moved in five weeks ago when she returned to the UK. The store’s on a six-month lease.”

  “Six months?” I ask, my mind in spasm. “If she rented it a few months ago, that means she only has a few months left.”

  “Correct.”

  “Why would she only rent for six months?”

  “Because she doesn’t plan on staying, would be my guess.”

  My body turns toward the cabin, my heart turning to stone in my chest. She doesn’t plan on staying here? “If the trail ends in 2014, how the hell did she rent the store?”

  “Oh, she’s got a sparkling credit history that goes back twenty years. But Hannah Bright the woman only goes back five.”

  My fucking brain hurts. “What does that mean, Lucinda?”

  “I don’t know. That’s all I have.”

  Not good enough. I need more. “Lucinda, you’ve got to do better than that. Please.”

  “Who is this woman, anyway?”

  “She’s a friend of a friend.”

  “Oh, so you’re asking for a friend?” The sarcasm in her tone is potent.

  “Yes, and if you find out a bit more for my friend, he will be most grateful.”

  “Ryan,” she sighs. “I don’t have time for this.” />
  I’m not beyond begging. She didn’t exist before 2014? What the hell is going on? “I’m asking you, as a friend, please just dig a little further.”

  “Fine!” She slams the phone down, and I turn, looking through the window again. My girls are both dancing around the kitchen, belting out the lyrics to Jon Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer.” I reach up to massage my chest, trying to rub away the ache, and Hannah spots me, waving a wooden spoon, her smile blindingly bright.

  I return it as best I can. Fuck me, I feel like I’ve had my heart cut out of my chest. Who are you, Hannah?

  The honk of a horn from behind sounds, and I force a smile to welcome our guests. Jake pulls up next to my truck and hops out, and I can’t lie, I’m alarmed by how tired he looks. “Shit, mate, you look ready for the morgue.” I go to him and get a smack on the shoulder before he hauls me in for a manly hug. “Is Caleb still not sleeping well?”

  “I’ve had a better night’s sleep in my car on a stakeout in the depths of winter.”

  “Ouch.”

  Releasing me, he gives me the once-over. “You’re not looking too rosy yourself. You have no newborn, so what gives?”

  I shake my head when I see Cami on her way over, giving Jake a look to suggest we should discuss later. He takes the hint quickly and moves aside so I can welcome his wife. “Did someone say you had a baby a few weeks ago?” I ask, looking her up and down. She looks as terrific as always.

  “Oh stop.” Cami takes me in a hug. “Who’s this new woman, then, Ryan?”

  “She’s in the kitchen.”

  “Cracking the whip already?”

  I’m cracking something, but it isn’t a whip. “Charlotte!” I sing when she dives out the back of Jake’s Range Rover. “When did you get so grown up?”

  “I’m eight in two weeks.” She holds up eight fingers, and my eyebrows jump up with feigned surprise.

  “She’s a big sister now.” Cami smiles down at her stepdaughter before directing her attention to Jake. “You want to get the baby out of the car?”

  “No, I might wake him.”