One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  Is’t not enough for thee to have a weeping eye And vitals still

  on fire for memory and despite?

  For self-conceit, indeed, he laugheth, when he saith, “The day

  obliterates the promise of the night.”

  Last came Abou Nuwas and recited the following:

  Love was prolonged and far was union out of sight, Nor skilled

  it aught to feign aversion and despite.

  One day, she came into the palace, drunk with wine, But even

  her drunkenness with pudour was bedight.

  Her upper garments dropped and left her shoulders bare And

  loosened trousers showed the dwelling of delight;

  Yea, and the breeze shook hips, full heavy, and a shape, As

  ‘twere a branch, whereon pomegranates twain unite.

  “Give me a tryst,” quoth I; and she replied, “The place Of

  visiting will be to-morrow clean and right.”

  Next day, I came and said, “Thy promise;” but quoth she, “The

  day obliterates the promise of the night.”

  The Khalif bestowed a myriad each on Er Recashi and Abou Musab, but bade strike off Abou Nuwas’s head, saying, ‘Thou west with us yesternight in the palace.’ ‘By Allah,’ answered the poet, ‘I slept not but in my own house! I was directed to what I said by thine own words as to the subject of the poem; and indeed quoth God the Most High (and He is the truest of all speakers), “As for poets (devils ensue them!) dost thou not see how they run wild in each valley and say that they do not?”’ So the Khalif forgave him and bestowed on him two myriads of gold.

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  MUSAB BEN EZ ZUBEIR AND AAISHEH DAUGHTER OF TELHEH.

  It is told of Musab ben ez Zubeir that he met Izzeh, who was one of the shrewdest of women, in Medina and said to her, ‘I have a mind to marry Aaisheh, daughter of Telheh, and I would have thee go to her and spy out for me how she is made.’ So she went and returning to Musab, said, ‘I have seen her, and her face is more beautiful than health; she hath large and well-opened eyes, an aquiline nose and smooth, oval cheeks and a mouth like a cleft pomegranate, a neck like an ewer of silver and a bosom with two breasts like twin pomegranates, a slim waist and a slender belly, with a navel therein as it were a casket of ivory, and backside like a hummock of sand. Moreover, she hath plump thighs and legs like columns of alabaster; but I saw her feet to be large, and thou wilt fall short with her in time of amorous dalliance.’ Upon this report, he married her and Izzeh invited Aaisheh and the women of the tribe of Kureish to her house, when Aaisheh sang the following, with Musab standing by:

  The mouths of girls, with their odoriferous, Sweet breath and

  their witching smiles, are sweet to buss;

  Yet ne’er have I tasted them, but in thought of him; And by

  thought, indeed, the Ruler rules over us.

  The night of his going in to her, he departed not from her, till after seven courses; and on the morrow, a freed-woman of his met him and said to him, ‘May I be thy ransom! Thou art perfect, even in this.’

  Quoth a certain woman, ‘I was with Aaisheh, when her husband came in to her, and she lusted to him; so he fell upon her and she puffed and snorted and made use of all manner of rare motions and strange inventions, and I the while within hearing. So when he came out from her, I said to her, “How canst thou, with thy rank and nobility and condition, do thus, and I in thy house?” Quoth she, “A woman should bring her husband all of which she is mistress, by way of excitations and rare motions. What mislikest thou of this?” And I answered, “I would have this anights.” “Thus is it by day,” rejoined she, “and by night I do more than this; for, when he sees me, desire stirs in him and he falls on heat; so he puts out his hand to me and I obey him, and it is as thou seest.”’

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  ABOUL ASWED AND HIS SQUINTING SLAVE-GIRL.

  Aboul Aswed bought a native-born slave-girl, who was squint- eyed, and she pleased him; but his people decried her to him; whereat he wondered and spreading out his hands, recited the following verses:

  They run her down to me, and yet no fault in her find I, Except

  perhaps it be a speck she hath in either eye.

  To compensate this fault, if fault it be, o’ the upper parts

  She’s slim and heavy of the parts beneath the waist that

  lie.

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  HAROUN ER RESHID AND THE TWO SLAVE-GIRLS.

  The Khalif Haroun er Reshid lay one night between two slave-girls, one from Medina and the other from Cufa, and the latter rubbed his hands, whilst the former rubbed his feet and made his yard to stand up. Quoth the Cufan girl, ‘I see thou wouldst keep the whole of the stock-in-trade to thyself; give me my share of it.’ And the other answered, ‘I have been told by Malik, on the authority of Hisham ibn Orweh, who had it of his [grand]father, that the Prophet said, “Whoso bringeth the dead to life, it is his.”’ But the Cufan took her unawares and pushing her away, took it all in her own hand and said, ‘El Aamesh tells us, on the authority of Kheithemeh, who had it of Abdallah ben Mesoud, that the Prophet said, “Game belongeth to him who taketh it, not to him who raiseth it.”’

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  THE KHALIF HAROUN ER RESHID AND THE THREE SLAVE-GIRLS.

  The Khalif Haroun er Reshid lay once with three slave-girls, a Meccan, a Medinan and an Irakite. The Medina girl put her hand to his yard and handled it, whereupon it rose and the Meccan sprang up and drew it to herself. Quoth the other, ‘What is this unjust aggression? I have heard of Malik, on the authority of Ez Zuhri, who had it of Abdallah ibn Salim, on the report of Said ben Zeid, that the Apostle (whom God bless and preserve) said, “Whoso revivifies a dead land, it is his.”’ And the Meccan answered, ‘Sufyan tells us, on the authority of Abou Zenad, who had it of El Aarej, on the report of Abou Hureireh, that the Apostle of God said, “The game is his who catches it, not his who starts it.”’ But the Irak girl pushed them both away and taking it to herself, said, ‘This is mine, till your contention be decided.’

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  THE MILLER AND HIS WIFE.

  There was a miller, who had an ass to turn his mill; and he was married to a wicked wife, whom he loved; but she hated him and loved a neighbour of hers, who liked her not and held aloof from her. One night, the miller saw, in his sleep, one who said to him, ‘Dig in such a spot of the ass’s circuit in the mill, and thou shalt find a treasure.’ When he awoke, he told his wife the dream and charged her keep it secret; but she told her neighbour, thinking to win his favour, and he appointed with her to come to her by night. So he came and they dug in the mill and found the treasure and took it forth. Then said he to her, ‘How shall we do with this?’ ‘We will share it equally between us,’ answered she; ‘and do thou leave thy wife and I will cast about to rid me of my husband. Then shalt thou marry me, and when we are united, we will add the two halves of the treasure, one to the other, and it will be [all] in our hands.’ Quoth he, ‘I fear lest Satan seduce thee and thou take some man other than myself; for gold in the house is like the sun in the world. Meseems, therefore, it were better that the money be all in my hands, so thou mayst study to win free of thy husband and come to me.’ ‘I fear the like of thee,’ rejoined she, ‘and I will not yield up my part to thee; for it was I directed thee to it.’ When he heard this, covetise prompted him to kill her; so he killed her and threw her body into the empty hole; but the day overtook him and hindered him from covering it up; so he took the treasure and went away.

  Presently, the miller awoke and missing his wife, went into the mill, where he fastened the ass to the beam and shouted to it. It went on a little, then stopped; whereupon he beat it grievously; but the more he beat it, the more it drew back; for it was affrighted at the dead woman and could
not go on. So he took out a knife and goaded it again and again, but still it would not budge. Then he was wroth with it, knowing not the cause of its obstinacy, and drove the knife into its flanks, and it fell down dead. When the sun rose, he saw his wife lying dead, in the place of the treasure, and great was his rage and sore his chagrin for the loss of the treasure and the death of his wife and his ass. All this came of his letting his wife into his secret and not keeping it to himself.

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  THE SIMPLETON AND THE SHARPER.

  A certain simple fellow was once going along, haling his ass after him by the halter, when a couple of sharpers saw him and one said to his fellow, ‘I will take that ass from yonder man.’ ‘How wilt thou do that?’ asked the other. ‘Follow me and I will show thee,’ replied the first. So he went up to the ass and loosing it from the halter, gave the beast to his fellow; then clapped the halter on his own head and followed the simpleton, till he knew that the other had got clean off with the ass, when he stood still. The man pulled at the halter, but the thief stirred not; so he turned and seeing the halter on a man’s neck, said to him, ‘Who art thou?’ Quoth the sharper, ‘I am thine ass and my story is a strange one. Know that I have a pious old mother and came in to her one day, drunk; and she said to me, “O my son, repent to God the Most High of these thy transgressions.” But I took the cudgel and beat her, whereupon she cursed me and God the Most High changed me into an ass and caused me fall into thy hands, where I have remained till now. However, to-day, my mother called me to mind and her heart relented towards me; so she prayed for me, and God restored me to my former shape of a man.’ ‘There is no power and no virtue but in God the Most High, the Supreme!’ cried the simpleton. ‘O my brother, I conjure thee by Allah, acquit me of what I have done with thee, in the way of riding and so forth.’

  Then he let the sharper go and returned home, drunken with chagrin and concern. His wife asked him, ‘What ails thee and where is the ass?’ And he answered, ‘Thou knowest not what was this ass; but I will tell thee.’ So he told her the story, and she exclaimed, ‘Woe worth us for God the Most High! How could we have used a man as a beast of burden, all this while?’ And she gave alms and asked pardon of God. Then the man abode awhile at home, idle, till she said to him, ‘How long wilt thou sit at home, idle? Go to the market and buy us an ass and do thy business with it.’ Accordingly, he went to the market and stopping by the ass-stand, saw his own ass for sale. So he went up to it and clapping his mouth to its ear, said to it, ‘Out on thee, thou good-for-nought! Doubtless thou hast been getting drunk again and beating thy mother! But, by Allah, I will never buy thee more!’ And he left it and went away.

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  THE IMAM ABOU YOUSUF WITH HAROUN ER RESHID AND ZUBEIDEH.

  The Khalif Haroun er Reshid went up one noon-tide to his couch, to lie down, and mounting, found thereon fresh semen; whereat he was startled and sore perturbed and troubled. So he called the princess Zubeideh and said to her, ‘What is that spilt on the bed?’ She looked at it and replied, ‘O Commander of the Faithful, it is semen.’ ‘Tell me truly what this means,’ said he; ‘or I will lay violent hands on thee forthright.’ ‘O Commander of the Faithful,’ answered she, ‘indeed, I know not how it came there and I am guiltless of that whereof thou suspectest me.’ So he sent for the Imam Abou Yousuf and told him the case. The Imam raised his eyes to the roof and seeing a crack therein, said to the Khalif, ‘O Commander of the Faithful, the bat hath semen like that of a man, and this is bats’ semen.’ Then he called for a lance and thrust it into the crack, whereupon down fell the bat. In this manner the Khalif’s suspicions were dispelled and Zubeideh’s innocence was made manifest; whereat she gave vent to her joy and promised Abou Yousuf a liberal reward.

  Now there were with her magnificent fruits, out of their season, and she knew of others in the garden; so she said to Abou Yousuf, ‘O Imam of the Faith, which wouldst thou rather of the two kinds of fruits, those that are here or those that are not here?’ ‘Our code forbids us to pronounce judgment on the absent,’ answered he. ‘When they are present, we will give judgment.’ So she caused bring the two kinds of fruits before him, and he ate of both. Quoth she, ‘What is the difference between them?’ And he answered, ‘As often as I think to praise one kind, the other puts in its claim.’ The Khalif laughed at his answer and made him a present. Zubeideh also gave him what she had promised him, and he went away, rejoicing. See, then, the blessed qualities of this Imam and how at his hands were made manifest the truth and the innocence of the lady Zubeideh.

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  THE KHALIF EL HAKIM AND THE MERCHANT.

  The Khalif El Hakim bi Amrillah was riding out in state one day, when he came to a garden, in which he saw a man, surrounded by slaves and servants. He asked him for a draught of water, and the man gave him to drink, saying, ‘Peradventure, the Commander of the Faithful will honour me by alighting in this my garden.’ So the Khalif dismounted and entered the garden with his suite; whereupon the man brought out to them a hundred carpets and a hundred leather mats and a hundred cushions and set before them a hundred dishes of fruits, a hundred saucers of sweetmeats and a hundred bowls full of sherbets of sugar; whereat the Khalif marvelled and said to his host, ‘O man, this thy case is a strange one. Didst thou know of our coming and make this preparation for us?’ ‘No, by Allah, O Commander of the Faithful,’ answered the other, ‘I knew not of thy coming and am but a merchant of the rest of thy subjects. But I have a hundred concubines; so, when the Commander of the Faithful honoured me by alighting with me, I sent to each of them, bidding her send me the morning-meal here. So they sent me each of her furniture and of the excess of her meat and drink: and every day each sends me a dish of meat and another of marinades, also a plate of fruits and a saucer of sweetmeats and a bowl of sherbet. This is my every- day noon-meal, nor have I added aught thereto for thee.’

  The Khalif prostrated himself in thanksgiving to God the Most High and said, ‘Praised be God, who hath been so bountiful to one of our subjects, that he entertaineth the Khalif and his suite, without making ready for them, but of the surplus of his day’s victual!’ Then he sent for all the dirhems in the treasury, that had been struck that year, — and they were in number three thousand and seven hundred thousand; — nor did he mount, till the money came, when he gave it to the merchant, saying, ‘Use this for the maintenance of thy state; and thy desert is more than this.’ Then he mounted and rode away.

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  KING KISRA ANOUSHIRWAN AND THE VILLAGE DAMSEL.

  The just King, Kisra Anoushirwan, was hunting one day and became separated from his suite, in pursuit of an antelope. Presently, he caught sight of a hamlet, near at hand, and being sore athirst, made for the door of a house, that stood by the wayside, and asked for a draught of water. A damsel came out and looked at him; then, going back into the house, pressed the juice from a sugar-cane into a tankard and mixed it with water; after which she strewed on the top somewhat of perfume, as it were dust, and carried it to the King. He took it and seeing in it what resembled dust, drank it, little by little, till he came to the end. Then said he to her, ‘O damsel, the drink is good and sweet, but for this dust in it, that troubles it.’ ‘O guest,’ answered she, ‘I put that in, of intent.’ ‘And why didst thou thus?’ asked he; and she replied, ‘I saw that thou wast exceeding thirsty and feared that thou wouldst swallow the whole at one draught and that this would do thee a mischief; and so hadst thou done, but for this dust that troubled the drink.’ The King wondered at her wit and good sense and said to her, ‘How many sugar-canes didst thou press for this draught?’ ‘One,’ answered she; whereat the King marvelled and calling for the roll of the taxes of the village, saw that its assessment was but little and bethought him to increase it, on his return to his palace, saying in himself, ‘Why is a
village so lightly taxed, where they get this much juice out of one sugar-cane?’

  Then he left the village and pursued his chase. As he came back at the end of the day, he passed alone by the same door and called again for drink; whereupon the same damsel came out and knowing him, went in to fetch him drink. It was some time before she returned and the King wondered at this and said to her, ‘Why hast thou tarried?’ Quoth she, ‘Because one sugar- cane yielded not enough for thy need. So I pressed three; but they yielded not so much as did one aforetime.’ ‘What is the cause of that?’ asked the King; and she answered, ‘The cause of it is that the King’s mind is changed.’ Quoth he, ‘How knewst thou that?’ ‘We hear from the wise,’ replied she, ‘that, when the King’s mind is changed against a folk, their prosperity ceaseth and their good waxeth less.’ Anoushirwan laughed and put away from his mind that which he had purposed against the people of the village. Moreover, he took the damsel to wife then and there, being pleased with her much wit and acuteness and the excellence of her speech.

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  THE WATER-CARRIER AND THE GOLDSMITH’S WIFE.

  There was once, in the city of Bokhara, a water-carrier, who used to carry water to the house of a goldsmith and had done thus thirty years. Now the goldsmith had a wife of exceeding beauty and elegance and withal renowned for modesty, chastity and piety. One day, the water-carrier came, as of wont, and poured the water into the cisterns. Now the woman was standing in the midst of the court; so he went up to her and taking her hand, stroked it and pressed it, then went away and left her. When her husband came home from the bazaar, she said to him, ‘I would have thee tell me what thou hast done in the bazaar, today, to anger God the Most High.’ Quoth he, ‘I have done nothing.’ ‘Nay,’ rejoined she, ‘but, by Allah, thou hast indeed done something to anger God; and except thou tell me the truth, I will not abide in thy house, and thou shalt not see me, nor will I see thee.’ ‘I will tell thee the truth,’ answered he. ‘As I was sitting in my shop this day, a woman came up to me and bade me make her a bracelet. Then she went away and I wrought her a bracelet of gold and laid it aside. Presently, she returned and I brought her out the bracelet. She put out her hand and I clasped the bracelet on her wrist; and I wondered at the whiteness of her hand and the beauty of her wrist and recalled what the poet says: