One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  Bracelets, upon her wrists, of glittering virgin gold She hath,

  like fire ablaze on running water cold.

  It is as if the wrists and bracelets thereabout Were water girt

  with fire, right wondrous to behold.

  So I took her hand and pressed it and squeezed it.’ ‘God is Most Great!’ exclaimed the woman. ‘Why didst thou this ill thing? Know that the water-carrier, who has come to our house these thirty years, nor sawst thou ever any treason in him, took my hand to day and pressed and squeezed it.’ Quoth her husband, ‘O woman, let us crave pardon of God! Verily, I repent of what I did, and do thou ask forgiveness of God for me.’ ‘God pardon me and thee,’ said she, ‘and vouchsafe to make good the issue of our affair!’

  Next day, the water-carrier came in to the jeweller’s wife and throwing himself at her feet, grovelled in the dust and besought pardon of her, saying, ‘O my lady, acquit me of that which Satan deluded me to do; for it was he that seduced me and led me astray.’ ‘Go thy ways,’ answered she; ‘the fault was not in thee, but in my husband, for that he did what he did in his shop, and God hath retaliated upon him in this world.’ And it is related that the goldsmith, when his wife told him how the water-carrier had used her, said, ‘Tit for tat! If I had done more, the water-carrier had done more.’ And this became a current byword among the folk.

  So it behoveth a wife to be both outward and inward with her husband, contenting herself with little from him, if he cannot give her much, and taking pattern by Aaisheh the Truthful and Fatimeh the Clean Maid, (may God the Most High accept of them), that she may be of the company of the righteous.

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  KHUSRAU AND SHIRIN WITH THE FISHERMAN.

  King Khusrau of Persia loved fish; and one day, as he sat in his saloon, he and Shirin his wife, there came a fisherman, with a great fish, and presented it to the King, who was pleased and ordered the man four thousand dirhems. When he was gone, Shirin said to the King, ‘Thou hast done ill.’ ‘Wherefore?’ asked he; and she answered, ‘Because if, after this, thou give one of thy courtiers a like sum, he will disdain it and say, “He hath but given me the like of what he gave the fisherman.” And if thou give him less, he will say, “He makes light of me and gives me less than he gave the fisherman.”’ ‘Thou art right,’ rejoined Khusrau; ‘but the thing is done and it ill becomes a king to go back on his gift.’ Quoth Shirin, ‘An thou wilt, I will contrive thee a means to get it back from him.’ ‘How so?’ asked he; and she said, ‘Call back the fisherman and ask him if the fish be male or female. If he say, “Male,” say thou, “We want a female,” and if he say, “Female,” say, “We want a male.”’

  So he sent for the fisherman, who was a man of wit and discernment, and said to him, ‘Is this fish male or female?’ The fisherman kissed the ground and answered, ‘It is of the neuter gender, neither male nor female.’ The King laughed and ordered him other four thousand dirhems. So the fisherman went to the treasurer and taking his eight thousand dirhems, put them in a bag he had with him. Then, throwing the bag over his shoulder, he was going away, when he dropped a dirhem; so he laid the bag off his back and stooped down to pick it up. Now the King and Shirin were looking on, and the latter said, ‘O King, didst thou note the meanness and greediness of yon man, in that he must needs stoop down, to pick up the one dirhem, and could not bring himself to leave it for one of the King’s servants?’ When the King heard this, he was wroth with the fisherman and said, ‘Thou art right, O Shirin!’ So he called the man back and said to him, ‘Thou low-minded fellow! Thou art no man! How couldst thou put the bag off thy shoulder and stoop to pick up the one dirhem and grudge to leave it where it fell?’ The fisherman kissed the earth before him and answered, ‘May God prolong the King’s life! Indeed, I did not pick up the dirhem, because of its value in my eyes; but because on one of its faces is the likeness of the King and on the other his name; and I feared lest any should unwittingly set his foot upon it, thus dishonouring the name and presentment of the King, and I be blamed for the offence.’ The King wondered at his wit and shrewdness and ordered him yet other four thousand dirhems. Moreover, he let cry abroad in his kingdom, saying, ‘It behoveth none to order himself by women’s counsel; for whoso followeth their advice, loseth, with his one dirhem, other two.’

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  YEHYA BEN KHALID THE BARMECIDE AND THE POOR MAN.

  Yehya ben Khalid the Barmecide was returning home, one day, from the Khalif’s palace, when he saw a man at the gate of his house, who rose at his approach and saluted him, saying, ‘O Yehya, I am in need of that which is in thy hand, and I make God my intermediary with thee.’ So Yehya caused set apart a place for him in his house and bade his treasurer carry him a thousand dirhems every day and that his food should be of the choicest of his own meat. The man abode thus a whole month, at the end of which time, having received in all thirty thousand dirhems, he departed by stealth, fearing lest Yehya should take the money from him, because of the greatness of the sum; and when they told Yehya of this, he said, ‘By Allah, though he had tarried with me to the end of his days, yet had I not scanted him of my largesse nor cut off from him the bounties of my hospitality!’ For, indeed, the excellences of the Barmecides were past count nor can their virtues be told; especially those of Yehya teen Khalid, for he abounded in noble qualities, even as saith the poet of him:

  I asked munificence, “Art free?” It answered, “No, perdie!

  Yehya ben Khalid’s slave am I; my lord and master he.”

  “A boughten slave?” asked I; but, “Nay, so heaven forfend!”

  quoth it. “From ancestor to ancestor he did inherit me.”

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  MOHAMMED EL AMIN AND JAAFER BEN EL HADI.

  Jaafer ben Mousa el Hadi once had a slave-girl, a lute player, called El Bedr el Kebir, than whom there was not in her time a fairer of face nor a better-shaped nor a more elegant of manners nor a more accomplished in singing and smiting the strings; she was indeed perfect in beauty and charm. Mohammed el Amin, son of Zubeideh, heard of her and was instant with Jaafer to sell her to him; but he replied, ‘Thou knowest it beseems not one of my rank to sell slave-girls nor traffic in concubines; but, were it not that she was reared in my house, I would send her to thee, as a gift, nor grudge her to thee.’

  Some days after this, El Amin went to Jaafer’s house, to make merry; and the latter set before him that which it behoves to set before friends and bade El Bedr sing to him and gladden him. So she tuned the lute and sang right ravishingly, whilst El Amin fell to drinking and making merry and bade the cupbearers ply Jaafer with wine, till he became drunken, when he took the damsel and carried her to his own house, but laid not a finger on her. On the morrow, he sent to invite Jaafer; and when he came, he set wine before him and bade the girl sing to him, from behind the curtain. Jaafer knew her voice and was angered at this, but, of the nobleness of his nature and the greatness of his mind, he dissembled his vexation and let no change appear in his demeanour.

  When the carousel was at an end, El Amin commanded one of his servants to fill the boat, in which Jaafer had come, with dirhems and dinars and all manner jewels and jacinths and rich clothes and other treasures of price. So he laid therein a thousand myriads of money and a thousand fine pearls, each worth twenty thousand dirhems; nor did he give over loading the barge with all manner of precious things, till the boatmen cried out for quarter, saying, ‘The boat cannot hold any more;’ whereupon he bade them carry all this to Jaafer’s palace. Such are the fashions of the magnanimous, may God have mercy on them!

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  THE SONS OF YEHYA BEN KHALID AND SAID BEN SALIM EL BAHILI.

  (Quoth Said ben Salim el Bahili), I was once, in the days of Haroun er Reshid, in very narrow case and greatly oppressed with debts, that had accumulated upon me and that I had
no means of discharging. My doors were blocked up with creditors and I was without cease importuned for payment by claimants, who dunned me in crowds, till I was at my wits’ end what to do. At last, being sore perplexed and troubled, I betook myself to Abdallah ben Malik el Khuzai and besought him to aid me with his judgment and of his good counsel direct me to the door of relief; and he said, “None can quit thee of this thy strait but the Barmecides.” Quoth I, “Who can brook their pride and put up with their arrogance?” And he answered, “Thou must put up with it, for the sake of amending thy case.” So I left him and went straight to El Fezl and Jaafer, sons of Yehya ben Khalid, to whom I related my case. “God give thee His aid,” answered they, “and enable thee by His bounties to dispense with the aid of His creatures and vouchsafe thee abundant good and bestow on thee what shall suffice thee, without the need of any but Himself; for He can what He will and is gracious and provident with His servants.”

  I went out from them and returned to Abdallah, disappointed and perplexed and heavy at heart, and told him what they had said. Quoth he, “Thou wouldst do well to abide with us this day, that we may see what God the Most High will decree.” So I sat with him awhile, and lo, up came my servant, who said to me, “O my lord, there are at our door many laden mules, and with them a man, who says he is the agent of Fezl and Jaafer ben Yehya.” Quoth Abdallah, “I trust that relief is come to thee: go and see what is to do.” So I left him and running to my house, found at the door a man, who gave me a letter, wherein was written the following: “Know that, after thou hadst been with us and acquainted us with thy case, we betook ourselves to the Khalif and informed him that the case had reduced thee to the humiliation of begging; whereupon he ordered thee a million dirhems from the Treasury. We represented to him that thou wouldst spend this money in paying thy creditors and said, ‘Whence shall he provide for his subsistence?’ So he ordered thee other three hundred thousand, and we have sent thee, of our own money, a million dirhems each, so that thou hast now three millions and three hundred thousand dirhems, wherewithal to order thine affair and amend thine estate.”

  See, then, the munificence of these generous men; may God the

  Most High have mercy on them!

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  THE WOMAN’S TRICK AGAINST HER HUSBAND.

  A man brought his wife a fish one Friday and bidding her cook it against the end of the congregational prayers, went out to his business. Meanwhile, there came in her friend, who bade her to a wedding at his house; so she agreed and laying the fish in a jar of water, went off with him and was absent a whole week, whilst her husband sought her from house to house and enquired after her; but none could give him any news of her.

  On the following Friday, she came home, [and he fell to chiding and reproaching her;] but she brought out to him the fish alive from the jar and assembled the folk against him. He told them his case; but they credited him not and said, ‘It cannot be that the fish should have remained alive all this while.’ So they caused adjudge him mad and imprisoned him and laughed at him, whereupon he wept sore and recited the following verses:

  A hag, that holds high rank, indeed, in lewdness! In her face

  Are witnesses that testify to filth and wantonness.

  When she’s unclean, she bawds; and when she’s clean, she plays

  the whore: So, all her time, she’s either bawd or else

  adulteress.

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  THE DEVOUT WOMAN AND THE TWO WICKED ELDERS.

  There was once, of old time, a virtuous woman among the children of Israel, who was pious and devout and used every day to go out to the place of prayer, first entering a garden, which adjoined thereto, and there making the ablution. Now there were in this garden two old men, its keepers, who fell in love with her and sought her favours; but she refused, whereupon said they, ‘Except thou yield thyself to us, we will bear witness against thee of fornication.’ Quoth she, ‘God will preserve me from your wickedness!’ Then they opened the garden-gate and cried out, and the folk came to them from all sides, saying, ‘What ails you?’ Quoth they, ‘We found this damsel in company with a youth, who was doing lewdness with her; but he escaped from our hands.’

  Now it was the use of the people of those days to expose an adulteress to public ignominy for three days and after stone her. So they pilloried her three days, whilst the two old men came up to her daily and laying their hands on her head, said, ‘Praised be God who hath sent down His vengeance on thee!’

  On the fourth day, they carried her away, to stone her; but a lad of twelve years old, by name Daniel, followed them to the place of execution and said to them, ‘Hasten not to stone her, till I judge between them.’ So they set him a chair and he sat down and caused bring the old men before him separately. (Now he was the first that separated witnesses.) Then said he to the first, ‘What sawest thou?’ So he repeated to him his story, and Daniel said, ‘In what part of the garden did this befall?’ ‘On the eastern side,’ replied the elder, ‘under a pear-tree.’ Then he called the other old man and asked him the same question; and he replied, ‘On the western side of the garden, under an apple-tree.’ Meanwhile the damsel stood by, with her hands and eyes uplift to heaven, imploring God for deliverance. Then God the Most High sent down His vengeful thunder upon the two old men and consumed them and made manifest the innocence of the damsel.

  This was the first of the miracles of the Prophet Daniel, on whom and on the Prophet be blessing and peace!

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  JAAFER THE BARMECIDE AND THE OLD BEDOUIN.

  The Khalif Haroun er Reshid went out one day, with Abou Yousuf the minion and Jaafer the Barmecide and Abou Nuwas, into the desert, where they fell in with an old man, leant upon his ass. The Khalif bade Jaafer ask him whence he came; so he said to him, ‘Whence comest thou?’ ‘From Bassora,’ answered the Bedouin. ‘And whither goest thou?’ asked Jaafer. ‘To Baghdad,’ said the other. ‘And what wilt thou do there?’ asked Jaafer. ‘I go to seek medicine for my eye,’ replied the old man. Quoth the Khalif, ‘O Jaafer, make us sport with him.’ ‘If I jest with him,’ answered Jaafer, ‘I shall hear what I shall not like.’ But Er Reshid rejoined, ‘I charge thee, on my authority, jest with him.’

  So Jaafer said to the Bedouin, ‘If I prescribe thee a remedy that shall profit thee, what wilt thou give me in return?’ Quoth the other, ‘God the Most High will requite thee for me with better than I can give thee.’ ‘Harkye, then,’ said Jaafer, ‘and I will give thee a prescription, which I have given to none but thee.’ ‘What is that?’ asked the Bedouin; and Jaafer answered, ‘Take three ounces of wind-wafts and the like of sunbeams and moonshine and lamp-light; mix them together and let them lie in the wind three months. Then bray them three months in a mortar without a bottom and laying them in a cleft platter, set it in the wind other three months; after which use three drachms every night in thy sleep, and (God willing) thou shalt be cured.’

  When the Bedouin heard this, he stretched himself out on the ass’s back and letting fly a terrible great crack of wind, said to Jaafer, ‘Take this, in payment of thy prescription. When I have followed it, if God grant me recovery, I will give thee a slave-girl, who shall serve thee in thy lifetime a service, wherewith God shall cut short thy term; and when thou diest and God hurries thy soul to the fire, she shall blacken thy face with her ordure, of her mourning for thee, and lament and buffet her face, saying, “O frosty-beard, what a ninny thou wast!”’ The Khalif laughed till he fell backward, and ordered the Bedouin three thousand dirhems.

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  THE KHALIF OMAR BEN KHETTAB AND THE YOUNG BEDOUIN.

  The sheriff Hussein ben Reyyan relates that the Khalif Omar ben Khettab was sitting one day, attended by his chief counsellors, judging the folk and doing justice between his subjects, when there came up to him two handsome young m
en, haling by the collar a third youth, perfectly handsome and well dressed, whom they set before him. Omar looked at him and bade them loose him; then, calling him near to himself, said to them, ‘What is your case with him?’ ‘O Commander of the Faithful,’ answered they, ‘we are two brothers by one mother and known as followers of the truth. We had a father, a very old man of good counsel, held in honour of the tribes, pure of basenesses and renowned for virtues, who reared us tenderly, whilst we were little, and loaded us with favours, when we grew up; in fine, a man abounding in noble and illustrious qualities, worthy of the poet’s words:

  “Is Abou es Sekr of Sheiban?” they questioned of me;

  and “No,” I answered, “my life upon it! But Sheiban’s of

  him, I trow.

  How many a father hath ris’n in repute by a noble son, As

  Adnan, by God’s Apostle, to fame and glory did

  grow!”

  He went forth this day to his garden, to take his pleasure amongst its trees and pluck the ripe fruits, when this young man slew him and swerved from the road of righteousness; wherefore we demand of thee the retribution of his crime and call upon thee to pass judgment upon him, according to the commandment of God.’