One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  When the Commander of the Faithful heard her words, he bade the doctor put off his clothes and hood; and he did so and went forth, beaten and confounded, from the Khalif’s presence. Thereupon arose another man and said to her, ‘O damsel, hear a few questions from me.’ ‘Say on,’ quoth she; and he said, ‘What are the conditions of valid [purchase by] payment in advance?’ ‘That the amount [of the thing bought], the kind and the period [of delivery to the purchaser], be [fixed or] known,’ replied she. (Q.) ‘What are the Koranic canons of eating?’ (A.) ‘The confession [by the eater] that God the Most High provideth him and giveth him to eat and drink and thanksgiving to Him therefor.’ (Q.) ‘What is thanksgiving?’ (A.) ‘The use by the creature of that which God vouchsafeth to him in the manner and to the ends for which He hath created it.’ (Q.) ‘What are the Traditional canons of eating?’ (A.) ‘The [preliminary] naming [of God] and washing the hands, sitting on the left buttock, eating with three fingers and eating of that which is chewed.’ (Q.) ‘What are the civilities of eating?’ (A.) ‘Taking small mouthfuls and looking little at one’s table-companion.’ (Q.) ‘What are the heart’s stays [or articles of faith] and their correlatives?’ (A.) ‘They are three in number, to wit, (1) holding fast to the Faith, the correlative whereof is the shunning of infidelity, (2) holding fast to the Traditional Law and its correlative, the shunning of innovation [or heresy] and (3) holding fast to obedience and its correlative, the shunning of disobedience.’ (Q.) ‘What are the conditions of ablution?’ (A.) ‘(1) Submission to the will of God (2) possession of discernment of good and evil [or having attained the age of discretion] (3) purity of the water and (4) absence of legal or material impediments.’ (Q.) ‘What is belief?’ (A.) ‘It is divided into nine parts, to wit, (1) belief in the One worshipped (2) belief in the condition of slavery [of the worshipper] (3) belief in one God, to the exclusion of all others (4) belief in the Two Handfuls (5) belief in Providence (6) belief in the Abrogating and (7) in the Abrogated (8) belief in God, His angels and apostles and (9) in fore-ordained Fate, general and particular, its good and ill, sweet and bitter.’ (Q.) ‘What three things do away other three?’ (A.) ‘It is told of Sufyan eth Thauri that he said, “Three things do away other three. Making light of the pious doth away the future life, making light of kings doth away [this] life and making light of expenditure doth away wealth.”’ (Q.) ‘What are the keys of the heavens, and how many gates have they?’ (A.) ‘Quoth God the Most High, “And heaven shall be opened, and it shall be [all] doors,” and quoth he whom God bless and keep, “None knoweth the number of the gates of heaven, save He who created it, and there is no son of Adam but hath two gates allotted to him in the skies, one whereby his subsistence cometh down and another where-through his works [good and evil] ascend. The former is not closed, save when his term of life comes to an end, nor the latter, till his soul ascends [for judgment].”’ (Q.) ‘Tell me of a thing and a half thing and a no-thing.’ (A.) ‘The thing is the believer, the half thing the hypocrite and the no-thing the infidel.’ (Q.) ‘Tell me of various kinds of hearts.’ (A.) ‘There is the whole [or perfect] heart, which is that of [Abraham] the Friend [of God], the sick heart, that of the infidel, the contrite heart, that of the pious, fearful ones, the heart consecrated to God, that of our Lord Mohammed (whom God bless and preserve) and the enlightened [or enlightening] heart, that of those who follow him. The hearts of the learned are of three kinds, to wit, those that are in love with this world, with the next and with their Lord; and it is said that hearts are three, the suspended, that of the infidel, the non-existent [or lost], that of the hypocrite, and the constant [or firm], that of the true-believer. Moreover, it is said that the latter is of three kinds, namely, the heart dilated with light and faith, that wounded with fear of estrangement and that which feareth to be forsaken of God.’

  Quoth the second doctor, ‘Thou hast said well;’ whereupon said she to the Khalif, ‘O Commander of the Faithful, he has questioned me, till he is weary, and now I will ask him two questions. If he answer them, it is well, and if not, I will take his clothes and he shall depart in peace.’ Quoth the doctor, ‘Ask me what thou wilt,’ and she said, ‘What is religion?’ ‘Religion,’ answered he, ‘is confession with the tongue and belief with the heart and doing with the members. Quoth the Prophet, “The believer is not perfect in belief, except five qualities be accomplished in him, namely, trust in God, committal of his affair to Him, submission to His commandment, acquiescence in His decrees and that he do all for His sake; so is he of those who are acceptable to God and who give and withhold for His sake, and he is perfect in belief.”’ Then said she, ‘What is the Koranic ordinance of ordinances and the ordinance which is the preliminary of all ordinances and that of which all others stand in need and that which comprehendeth all others, and what is the Traditional ordinance that entereth into the Koranic, and that whereby the latter is completed?’ But he was silent and made no reply; whereupon the Khalif bade her expound and ordered him to doff his clothes and give them to her. ‘O doctor,’ said she, ‘the Koranic ordinance of ordinances is the knowledge of God the Most High; that, which is the preliminary of all others, is the testifying that there is no god but God and that Mohammed is His apostle; that, of which all others have need, is ablution; that, which compriseth all others, is that of [total] ablution from [ceremonial] defilement; the Traditional ordinance, that enters into the Koranic, is the separation of the fingers and the thick beard; and that, wherewith all Koranic ordinances are completed, is circumcision.’ Therewith was manifest the insufficiency of the doctor, who rose to his feet and said, ‘I call God to witness, O Commander of the Faithful, that this damsel is more learned than I in the Law and what pertains thereto.’ So saying, he put off his clothes and went away, defeated.

  Then turned she to the rest of the learned men present and said, ‘O masters, which of you is the reader, versed in the seven readings and in syntax and lexicography?’ Thereupon the professor arose and seating himself before her, said, ‘Hast thou read the Book of God the Most High and made thyself throughly acquainted with its verses and its various parts, abrogating and abrogated, equivocal and unequivocal, Meccan and Medinan? Dost thou understand its interpretation and hast thou studied it, according to the various versions and readings?’ ‘Yes,’ answered she; and he said, ‘What, then, is the number of its chapters, how many are Meccan and how many Medinan? How many verses and decades does it contain, how many words and how many letters and how many acts of prostration and how many prophets and birds are mentioned in it?’ ‘It contains a hundred and fourteen chapters,’ replied she, ‘whereof threescore and ten were revealed at Mecca and forty and four at Medina, six thousand three hundred and thirty-six verses, six hundred and twenty-one decades, seventy-nine thousand four hundred and thirty-nine words and three hundred and twenty- three thousand and six hundred and seventy letters; and to the reader thereof, for every letter, accrue ten benefits. The acts of prostration it contains are fourteen in number, and five-and-twenty prophets are named therein, to wit, Adam, Noah, Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Elisha, Jonah, Lot, Salih, Houd, Shuaib, David, Solomon, Dhoulkifl, Idris, Elias, Yehya, Zacharias, Job, Moses, Aaron, Jesus and Mohammed, the peace of God and His blessing be on them all! Moreover, nine birds [or flying things] are mentioned in the Koran, namely, the gnat, the bee, the fly, the ant, the hoopoe, the crow, the locust, the bustard and the bird of Jesus (on whom be peace), to wit, the bat.’ (Q.) ‘Which is the most excellent chapter of the Koran?’ (A.) ‘That of the Cow.’ (Q.) ‘Which is the most magnificent verse?’ (A.) ‘That of the Throne; it has fifty words, in each fifty blessings.’ (Q.) ‘What verse hath in it nine signs [or wonders]?’ (A.) ‘That in which quoth God the Most High, “Verily, in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of night and day and the ship that runneth in the sea with what profiteth mankind and in what God sendeth down from heaven of water and quickeneth therewith the earth, after its dearth, and spreadeth abroad therein all manner c
attle, and the shifting of the winds and the clouds, pressed into service betwixt heaven and earth, are signs for folk who understand.”’ (Q.) ‘Which is the most just?’ (A.) ‘That in which God saith, “Verily, God commandeth to justice and beneficence and giving to those that are near unto us and forbiddeth from profligacy and iniquity and oppression.”’ (Q.) ‘Which is the most yearnful?’ (A.) ‘That in which quoth God, “Shall every man of them yearn to enter a garden of delight?”’ (Q.) ‘Which is the most hopeful?’ (A.) ‘That in which quoth God the Most High, “Say, ‘O ye my servants, that have transgressed against your own souls, despair not of the mercy of God! Indeed, God forgiveth sins, all of them, for He is the Forgiving, the Compassionate.’”’ (Q.) ‘By what version dost thou read?’ (A.) ‘By that of the people of Paradise, to wit, the version of Nafi.’ (Q.) ‘In which verse doth God make prophets lie?’ (A.) ‘In that wherein He saith, “They [the brothers of Joseph] brought lying blood upon his shirt.”’ (Q.) ‘In which doth He make infidels speak the truth?’ (A.) ‘In that wherein He saith, “The Jews say, ‘The Nazarenes are [grounded] on nought,’ and the Nazarenes say, ‘The Jews are [grounded] on nought;’ and [yet] they [both] read the Scripture.” And [in this] both speak the truth.’ (Q.) ‘In which doth God speak in His own person [in the singular]?’ (A.) ‘In that in which He saith, “Neither have I created Jinn and men, but that they should worship.”’ (Q.) ‘In which do the angels speak?’ (A.) ‘In that which saith, “We celebrate Thy praises and hallow Thee.”’ (Q.) ‘What sayst thou of the formula, “I seek refuge with God from Satan the Stoned”?’ (A.) ‘It is obligatory, by commandment of God, on all who read the Koran, as appears by His saying, “When thou readest the Koran, seek refuge with God from Satan the Stoned.”’ (Q.) ‘What are the words and variants of the formula?’ (A.) ‘Some say, “I take refuge with God the All-hearing and knowing, etc.,” and others, “With God the Strong;” but the best is that of which the noble Koran and the Traditions speak. The Prophet was used, whenas he was about to open the Koran, to say, “I take refuge with God from Satan the Stoned.” And quoth a Tradition, reported by Nafi on the authority of his [adopted] father, “The apostle of God used, when he rose in the night to pray, to say aloud, ‘God is Most Great, with [all] greatness! Praise be to God abundantly! Glory to God morning and evening!’ Then would he say, ‘I seek refuge with God from Satan the Stoned and from the instigations of the Devils and their evil suggestions.”’ And it is told of Ibn Abbas (of whom God accept) that he said, “The first time Gabriel came down to the Prophet [with a portion of the Koran,] he taught him [the formula of] seeking refuge, saying, ‘O Mohammed, say, “I seek refuge with God the All-hearing and knowing;” then say, “In the name of God the Compassionate, the Merciful!” And read, in the name of thy Lord who created men from clotted blood.’”’ (Q.) ‘What sayst thou of the verse, “In the name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful”? Is it one of the verses of the Koran?’ (A.) ‘Yes; it is a verse of “The ant” and occurs also [at the head of the first and] between every two [following] chapters; and there is much difference of opinion, respecting this, among the learned.’ (Q.) ‘Why is not the formula written at the head of the chapter of Immunity?’ (A.) ‘When this chapter was revealed for the dissolution of the alliance between the Prophet and the idolaters, the former sent Ali ibn Abi Talib (whose face God honour) therewith [from Medina to Mecca] at the season of the greater pilgrimage; and he read the chapter to them, but did not read “In the name, etc.”’ (Q.) ‘What of the excellence of the formula and the blessing that attaches to it?’ (A.) ‘It is told of the Prophet that he said, “Never is ‘In the name, etc.’ pronounced over aught, but there is a blessing in it;” and it is reported, on his authority, that the Lord of Glory swore by His glory that never should the formula be pronounced over a sick person, but he should be healed of his sickness. Moreover, it is said that, when God created the empyreal heaven, it was agitated with an exceeding agitation; but He wrote on it, “In the name, etc.,” and its agitation subsided. When the formula was first revealed to the Prophet, he said, “I am safe from three things, earthquake and metamorphosis and drowning;” and indeed its virtues are great and its blessings too many to enumerate. It is told of the Prophet that he said, “There will be brought before God, on the judgment day, a man with whom He shall reckon and finding no good deed to his account, shall order him to the fire; but the man will say, ‘O my God, Thou hast not dealt justly by me!’ Then shall God (to whom belong might and majesty) say, ‘How so?’ and the man will answer, saying, ‘O Lord, for that Thou callest Thyself the Compassionate, the Merciful, yet wilt Thou punish me with the fire!’ And God (extolled be His majesty) shall say, ‘I did indeed name myself the Compassionate, the Merciful. Carry My servant to Paradise, of My mercy, for I am the most Merciful of those that have mercy.’”’ (Q.) ‘What was the origin of the use of the formula?’ (A.) ‘When God revealed the Koran, they wrote, “In Thy name, O my God!”; when He revealed the words, “Say, pray ye to God or pray ye to the Compassionate, what days ye pray, for to Him [belong] the most fair names,” they wrote, “In the name of God, the Compassionate;” and when He revealed the words, “Your God is one God, there is no god but He, the Compassionate, the Merciful,” they wrote, “In the name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful!”’ (Q.) ‘Did God reveal the Koran all at once or at intervals?’ (A.) ‘Gabriel the Faithful [Spirit] (on whom be peace) descended with it from the Lord of the Worlds upon His Prophet Mohammed, Prince of the Apostles and seal of the Prophets, by detached verses, containing commandment and prohibition, promise and menace, anecdotes and similitudes, as the occasion called for it, in the course of twenty years.’ (Q.) ‘Which chapter was first revealed?’ (A.) ‘According to Ibn Abbas, that of the Clot of Blood, and according to Jabir ben Abdallah, that of the Covered [with a cloak].’ (Q.) ‘Which verse was the last revealed?’ (A.) ‘That of Usury, and it is said [also], the verse, “When there cometh God’s succour and victory.”’ (Q.) ‘Tell me the names of the Companions who collected the Koran, in the lifetime of the Apostle of God.’ (A.) ‘They were four in number, to wit, Ubaï ibn Kaab, Zeid ibn Thabit, Abou Ubeideh Aamir ben Jerrah and Othman ben Affan, may God accept of them all!’ (Q.) ‘Who are the readers, from whom the [accepted] reading of the Koran is taken?’ (A.) ‘They are four in number, namely, Abdallah ben Mesoud, Ubaï ben Kaab, Maadh ben Jebel and Salim ben Abdallah.’ (Q.) ‘What sayst thou of the words of the Most High, “That which is sacrificed to stones”?’ (A.) ‘The stones are idols, which are set up and worshipped, instead of God the Most High, and [from this] we seek refuge with Him.’ (Q.) ‘What sayst thou of the words of the Most High, “[Quoth Jesus] Thou knowest what is in my soul, and I know not what is in Thy soul”?’ (A.) ‘They mean “Thou [God] knowest the truth of me and what is in me and I [Jesus] know not what is in Thee;” and the proof of this are his words, “Thou [God] art He that knoweth the hidden things;” and it is said, also, “Thou [God] knowest my essence, but I [man] know not Thine essence.”’ (Q.) ‘What sayst thou of the words of the Most High, “O ye that believe, deny not yourselves the good things that God hath made lawful to you!”?’ (A.) ‘My master (on whom God have mercy) told me that Ez Zuhak said, “There was a people of the true-believers who said, ‘We will dock our yards and don sackcloth;’ whereupon this verse was revealed.” But El Cutadeh says that it was revealed on account of sundry Companions of the Apostle of God, Ali ibn Abi Talib and Othman ben Musaab and others, who said, “We will dock ourselves and don hair [cloth] and make us monks.”’ (Q.) ‘What sayst thou of the words of the Most High, “And God took Abraham to friend”?’ (A.) ‘The friend [of God] is the needy, the poor, and (according to another saying) he is the lover, he who is absorbed in the love of God the Most High and in whose exclusive devotion there is no falling away.’