One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  When the professor saw her pass on in speech with the passing of the clouds and that she stayed not in answering, he rose to his feet and said, ‘I take God to witness, O Commander of the Faithful, that this damsel is more learned than I in Koranic exegesis and what pertains thereto.’ Then said she, ‘I will ask thee one question, which if thou answer, it is well: but if thou answer not, I will strip off thy clothes.’ ‘Ask on,’ quoth the Khalif; and she said, ‘Which verse of the Koran has in it three-and-twenty Kafs, which sixteen Mims, which a hundred and forty Ains, and which section lacks the formula, “To whom [God] belong might and majesty”?’ He could not answer, and she said to him, ‘Put off thy clothes.’ So he doffed them, and she said, ‘O Commander of the Faithful, the verse of the sixteen Mims is in the chapter Houd and is the saying of the Most High, “It was said, ‘O Noah, go down in peace from us, and blessing upon thee!’”; that of the three-and-twenty Kafs is the verse called of the Faith, in the chapter of the Cow; that of the hundred and forty Ains is in the chapter of El Aaraf, “And Moses chose seventy men of his tribe to [attend] our appointed time; to each man a pair of eyes.” And the set portion which lacks the formula, “To whom [God] belong might and majesty,” is that which comprises the chapters “The Hour draweth nigh and the Moon is cloven in twain,” “The Compassionate” and “The Event.”’ And the professor departed in confusion.

  Then came forward the skilled physician and said to her, ‘We have done with theology and come now to physiology. Tell me, therefore, how is man made, how many veins, bones and vertebræ are there in his body, which is the chief vein and why Adam was named Adam?’ ‘Adam was called Adam,’ answered she, ‘because of the udmeh, to wit, the tawny colour of his complexion and also (it is said) because he was created of the adim of the earth, that is to say, of the soil of its surface. His breast was made of the earth of the Kaabeh, his head of earth from the East and his legs of earth from the West. There were created for him seven doors [or openings] in his head, to wit, the eyes, the ears, the nostrils and the mouth, and two passages, the urethra and the anus. The eyes were made the seat of the sense of sight, the ears of that of hearing, the nostrils of that of smell, the mouth of that of taste and the tongue to speak forth what is in the innermost heart of man. Adam was originally created of four elements combined, water, earth, fire and air. The yellow bile is the humour of fire, being hot and dry, the black bile that of earth, being cold and dry, the phlegm that of water, being cold and moist, and the blood that of air, being hot and moist. There are in man three hundred and threescore veins, two hundred and forty bones and three souls [or natures], the animal, the rational and the essential or [natural], to each of which is allotted a separate function. Moreover, God made him a heart and spleen and lungs and six guts and a liver and two kidneys and marrow [or brain] and buttocks and bones and skin and five senses, hearing, seeing, smell, taste and touch. The heart He set on the left side of the breast and made the stomach the exemplar [or governor] thereof. He appointed the lungs for a ventilator to the heart and set the liver on the right side, opposite thereto. Moreover, He made, besides this, the midriff and the intestines and set up the bones of the breast and ribbed them with the ribs.’ (Q.) ‘How many ventricles are there in a man’s head?’ (A.) ‘Three, which contain five faculties, styled the intrinsic senses, i.e. common sense, fancy, thought, apperception and memory.’ (Q.) ‘Describe to me the scheme of the bones.’ (A.) ‘It consists of two hundred and forty bones, which are divided into three parts, the head, the trunk and the extremities. The head is divided into skull and face. The skull is constructed of eight bones, and to it are attached the teeth, two-and- thirty in number, and the hyoïd bone, one. The trunk is divided into spinal column, breast and basin. The spinal column is made up of four-and-twenty bones, called vertebræ, the breast of the breastbone and the ribs, which are four-and-twenty in number, twelve on each side, and the basin of the hips, the sacrum and the coccyx. The extremities are divided into arms and legs. The arms are again divided into shoulder, comprising shoulder-blades and collar-bone, the upper- arm, one bone, the fore-arm, composed of two bones, the radius and the ulna, and the hand, consisting of the wrist, the metacarpus and the fingers. The wrist is composed of eight bones, ranked in two rows, each comprising four bones; the metacarpus of five and the fingers, which are five in number, of three bones each, called the phalanges, except the thumb, which has but two. The lower extremities are divided into thigh, one bone, leg, composed of three bones, the tibia, the fibula and the kneepan, and the foot, divided like the hand, with the exception of the wrist, which is composed of seven bones, ranged in two rows, two in one and five in the other.’ (Q.) ‘Which is the root of the veins?’ (A.) ‘The aorta from which they ramify, and they are many, none knoweth the tale of them save He who created them; but, as I have before observed, it is said that they are three hundred and threescore in number. Moreover, God hath appointed the tongue to interpret [for the thought], the eyes to serve as lanterns, the nostrils to smell with, and the hands for prehensors. The liver is the seat of pity, the spleen of laughter and the kidneys of craft; the lungs are the ventilators, the stomach the storehouse and the heart the pillar [or mainstay] of the body. When the heart is sound, the whole body is sound, and when the heart is corrupt, the whole body is corrupt.’ (Q.) ‘What are the outward signs and symptoms of disease in the members of the body, both internal and external?’ (A.) ‘A physician, who is a man of understanding, looks into the state of the body and is guided by the feel of the hands, according as they are firm [or flabby], hot or cool, moist or dry. Internal disorders are also indicated by external symptoms, such as yellowness of the [whites of the] eyes, which denotes jaundice, and bending of the back, which denotes disease of the lungs.’ (Q.) ‘What are the internal symptoms of disease?’ (A.) ‘The science of the diagnosis of disease by internal symptoms is founded upon six canons, to wit, (1) the actions [of the patient] (2) what is evacuated from his body (3) the nature and (4) site of the pain he feels (5) swelling and (6) the effluvia given off by his body.’ (Q.) ‘How cometh hurt to the head?’ (A.) ‘By the introduction of food upon food, before the first be digested, and by satiety upon satiety; this it is that wasteth peoples. He who will live long, let him be early with the morning-meal and not late with the evening-meal; let him be sparing of commerce with women and chary of cupping and blood-letting and make of his belly three parts, one for food, one for drink and the third for air; for that a man’s intestines are eighteen spans in length and it befits that he appoint six for food, six for drink, and six for air. If he walk, let him go gently; it will be wholesomer for him and better for his body and more in accordance with the saying of God the Most High, “Walk not boisterously [or proudly] upon the earth.”’ (Q.) ‘What are the symptoms of yellow bile and what is to be feared there-from?’ (A.) ‘The symptoms are, sallow complexion and dryness and bitter taste in the mouth, failure of the appetite, and rapid pulse; and the patient has to fear high fever and delirium and prickly heat and jaundice and tumour and ulceration of the bowels and excessive thirst.’ (Q.) ‘What are the symptoms of black bile and what has the patient to fear from it, if it get the mastery of the body?’ (A.) ‘The symptoms are deceptive appetite and great mental disquiet and care and anxiety; and it behoves that it be evacuated, else it will generate melancholy and leprosy and cancer and disease of the spleen and ulceration of the bowels.’ (Q.) ‘Into how many branches is the art of medicine divided?’ (A.) ‘Into two: the art of diagnosing diseases and that of restoring the diseased body to health.’ (Q.) ‘When is the drinking of medicine more efficacious than otherwhen?’ (A.) ‘When the sap runs in the wood and the grape thickens in the cluster and the auspicious planets are in the ascendant, then comes in the season of the efficacy of drinking medicine and the doing away of disease.’ (Q.) ‘What time is it, when, if a man drink from a new vessel, the drink is wholesomer and more digestible to him than at another time, and there ascends to him a pleasant and penetrating fragrance?’ (A.) �
��When he waits awhile after eating, as quoth the poet:

  I rede thee drink not after food in haste, but tarry still;

  Else with a halter wilt thou lead thy body into ill.

  Yea, wait a little after thou hast eaten, brother mine; Then

  drink, and peradventure thus shalt thou attain unto thy

  will.’

  (Q.) ‘What food is it that giveth not rise to ailments?’ (A.) ‘That which is not eaten but after hunger, and when it is eaten, the ribs are not filled with it, even as saith Galen the physician, “Whoso will take in food, let him go slowly and he shall not go wrong.” To end with the saying of the Prophet, (whom God bless and preserve,) “The stomach is the home of disease, and abstinence is the beginning of cure, for the origin of every disease is indigestion, that is to say, corruption of the meat in the stomach.”’ (Q.) ‘What sayst thou of the bath?’ (A.) ‘Let not the full man enter it. Quoth the Prophet, “The bath is the delight of the house, for that it cleanseth the body and calleth to mind the fire [of hell].”’ (Q.) ‘What waters are best for bathing?’ (A.) ‘Those whose waters are sweet and plains wide and whose air is pleasant and wholesome, its climate [or seasons] being fair, autumn and summer and winter and spring.’ (Q.) ‘What kind of food is the most excellent?’ (A.) ‘That which women make and which has not cost overmuch trouble and which is readily digested. The most excellent of food is brewis, according to the saying of the Prophet, “Brewis excels other food, even as Aaïsheh excels other women.”’ (Q.) ‘What kind of seasoning is most excellent?’ (A.) ‘Flesh meat (quoth the Prophet) is the most excellent of seasonings; for that it is the delight of this world and the next.’ (Q.) ‘What kind of meat is the most excellent?’ (A.) ‘Mutton; but jerked meat is to be avoided, for there is no profit in it.’ (Q.) ‘What of fruits?’ (A.) ‘Eat them in their prime and leave them when their season is past.’ (Q.) ‘What sayst thou of drinking water?’ (A.) ‘Drink it not in large quantities nor by gulps, or it will give thee the headache and cause divers kinds of harm; neither drink it immediately after the bath nor after copulation or eating (except it be after the lapse of fifteen minutes for a young and forty for an old man) or waking from sleep.’ (Q.) ‘What of drinking wine?’ (A.) ‘Doth not the prohibition suffice thee in the Book of God the Most High, where He saith, “Verily, wine and casting lots and idols and divining arrows are an abomination of the fashion of the Devil: shun them, so surely shall ye thrive.” And again, “If they ask thee of wine and casting lots, say, ‘In them are great sin and advantages to mankind, but the sin of them is greater than the advantage.’” Quoth the poet: