One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  Now the Persian had a mameluke, as he were the full moon, and he arose [and went out], and the singer followed him and wept before him, professing love to him and kissing his hands and feet. The mameluke took compassion on him and said to him, ‘When the night cometh and my master entereth [the harem] and the folk go away, I will grant thee thy desire; and I lie in such a place.’ Then the singer returned and sat with the boon-companions, and the Persian rose and went out, he and the mameluke beside him. [Then they returned and sat down.] Now the singer knew the place that the mameluke occupied at the first of the night; but it befell that he rose from his place and the candle went out. The Persian, who was drunken, fell over on his face, and the singer, supposing him to be the mameluke, said, ‘By Allah, it is good!’ and threw himself upon him and clipped him, whereupon the Persian started up, crying out, and laying hands on the singer, pinioned him and beat him grievously, after which he bound him to a tree that was in the house.

  Now there was in the house a fair singing-girl and when she saw the singer pinioned and bound to the tree, she waited till the Persian lay down on his couch, when she arose and going to the singer, fell to condoling with him over what had betided him and ogling him and handling his yard and rubbing it, till it rose on end. Then said she to him, ‘Do thou swive me and I will loose thy bonds, lest he return and beat thee again; for he purposeth thee evil.’ Quoth he, ‘Loose me and I will do.’ But she said, ‘I fear that, [if I loose thee], thou wilt not do. But I will do, and thou standing; and when I have done, I will loose thee.’ So saying, she pulled up her clothes and sitting down on the singer’s yard, fell to going and coming.

  Now there was in the house a ram, with which the Persian used to butt, and when he saw what the woman did, he thought she would butt with him; so he broke his halter and running at her, butted her and broke her head. She fell on her back and cried out; whereupon the Persian started up from sleep in haste and seeing the singing-girl [cast down on her back] and the singer with his yard on end, said to the latter, ‘O accursed one, doth not what thou hast already done suffice thee?’ Then he beat him soundly and opening the door, put him out in the middle of the night.

  He lay the rest of the night in one of the ruins, and when he arose in the morning, he said, ‘None is to blame. I sought my own good, and he is no fool who seeketh good for himself; and the druggist’s wife also sought good for herself; but destiny overcometh precaution and there remaineth no abiding for me in this town.’ So he went forth from the city. Nor (added the vizier) is this story, extraordinary though it be, more extraordinary than that of the king and his son and that which bedded them of wonders and rarities.”

  When the king heard this story, he deemed it pleasant and said, “This story is near unto that which I know and meseemeth I should do well to have patience and hasten not to slay my vizier, so I may get of him the story of the king and his son.” Then he gave the vizier leave to go away to his own house; so he thanked him and abode in his house all that day.

  The Third Night of the Month

  When it was the time of the evening meal, the king repaired to the sitting-chamber and summoning the vizier, sought of him the story he had promised him; and the vizier said, “They avouch, O king, that

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  STORY OF THE KING WHO KNEW THE QUINTESSENCE OF THINGS.

  There came to a king of the kings, in his old age, a son, who grew up comely, quick-witted and intelligent, and when he came to years of discretion and became a young man, his father said to him, ‘Take this kingdom and govern it in my stead, for I desire to flee [from the world] to God the Most High and don the gown of wool and give myself up to devotion.’ Quoth the prince, ‘And I also desire to take refuge with God the Most High.’ And the king said, ‘Arise, let us flee forth and make for the mountains and worship in them, for shamefastness before God the Most High.’

  So they gat them raiment of wool and clothing themselves therewith, went forth and wandered in the deserts and wastes; but, when some days had passed over them, they became weak for hunger and repented them of that which they had done, whenas repentance profited them not, and the prince complained to his father of weariness and hunger. ‘Dear my son,’ answered the king, ‘I did with thee that which behoved me, but thou wouldst not hearken to me, and now there is no means of returning to thy former estate, for that another hath taken the kingdom and become its defender; but I will counsel thee of somewhat, wherein do thou pleasure me.’ Quoth the prince, ‘What is it?’ And his father said, ‘Take me and go with me to the market and sell me and take my price and do with it what thou wilt, and I shall become the property of one who will provide for my support,’ ‘Who will buy thee of me,’ asked the prince, ‘seeing thou art a very old man? Nay, do thou rather sell me, for the demand for me will be greater.’ But the king said, ‘An thou wert king, thou wouldst require me of service.’

  So the youth obeyed his father’s commandment and taking him, carried him to the slave-dealer and said to the latter, ‘Sell me this old man.’ Quoth the dealer, ‘Who will buy this fellow, and he a man of fourscore?’ Then said he to the king, ‘In what crafts dost thou excel?’ Quoth he, ‘I know the quintessence of jewels and I know the quintessence of horses and that of men; brief, I know the quintessence of all things.’ So the dealer took him and went about, offering him for sale to the folk; but none would buy. Presently, up came the overseer of the [Sultan’s] kitchen and said, ‘What is this man?’ And the dealer answered, ‘This is a slave for sale.’ The cook marvelled at this and bought the king for ten thousand dirhems, after questioning him of what he could do. Then he paid down the money and carried him to his house, but dared not employ him in aught of service; so he appointed him an allowance, such as should suffice for his livelihood, and repented him of having bought him, saying, ‘What shall I do with the like of this fellow?’

  Presently, the king [of the city] was minded to go forth to his garden, a-pleasuring, and bade the cook forego him thither and appoint in his stead one who should dress meat for the king, so that, when he returned, he might find it ready. So the cook fell a-considering of whom he should appoint and was bewildered concerning his affair. As he was on this wise, the old man came to him and seeing him perplexed how he should do, said to him, ‘Tell me what is in thy mind; belike, I may avail to relieve thee.’ So he acquainted him with the king’s wishes and he said, ‘Have no care for this, but leave me one of the serving-men and go thou in peace and surety, for I will suffice thee of this.’ So the cook departed with the king, after he had brought the old man what he needed and left him a man of the guards.

  When he was gone, the old man bade the trooper wash the kitchen-vessels and made ready passing goodly food. When the king returned, he set the meat before him, and he tasted food whose like he had never known; whereat he marvelled and asked who had dressed it. So they acquainted him with the old man’s case and he summoned him to his presence and awarded him a handsome recompense. Moreover, he commanded that they should cook together, he and the cook, and the old man obeyed his commandment.

  Awhile after this, there came two merchants to the king with two pearls of price and each of them avouched that his pearl was worth a thousand dinars, but there was none who availed to value them. Then said the cook, ‘God prosper the king! Verily, the old man whom I bought avouched that he knew the quintessence of jewels and that he was skilled in cookery. We have made proof of him in cookery and have found him the skilfullest of men; and now, if we send after him and prove him on jewels, [the truth or falsehood of] his pretension will be made manifest to us.’

  So the king bade fetch the old man and he came and stood before the Sultan, who showed him the two pearls. Quoth he, ‘As for this one, it is worth a thousand dinars.’ And the king said, ‘So saith its owner.’ ‘But for this other,’ continued the old man, ‘it is worth but five hundred.’ The folk laughed and marvelled at his saying, and the merchant, [the owner of the second pearl], said
to him, ‘How can this, which is greater of bulk and purer of water and more perfect of rondure, be less of worth than that?’ And the old man answered, ‘I have said what is with me.’ Then said the king to him, ‘Indeed, the outward appearance thereof is like unto that of the other pearl; why then is it worth but the half of its price?’ ‘Yes,’ answered the old man, ‘[its outward resembleth the other]; but its inward is corrupt.’ ‘Hath a pearl then an outward and an inward?’ asked the merchant, and the old man said, ‘Yes. In its inward is a boring worm; but the other pearl is sound and secure against breakage.’ Quoth the merchant, ‘Give us a token of this and prove to us the truth of thy saying.’ And the old man answered, ‘We will break the pearl. If I prove a, liar, here is my head, and if I speak truth, thou wilt have lost thy pearl.’ And the merchant said, ‘I agree to that.’ So they broke the pearl and it was even as the old man had said, to wit, in its midst was a boring worm.

  The king marvelled at what he saw and questioned him of [how he came by] the knowledge of this. ‘O king,’ answered the old man, ‘this [kind of] jewel is engendered in the belly of a creature called the oyster and its origin is a drop of rain and it is firm to the touch [and groweth not warm, when held in the hand]; so, when [I took the second pearl and felt that] it was warm to the touch, I knew that it harboured some living thing, for that live things thrive not but in heat.’ So the king said to the cook, ‘Increase his allowance.’ And he appointed to him [fresh] allowances.

  Awhile after this, two merchants presented themselves to the king with two horses, and one said, ‘I ask a thousand dinars for my horse,’ and the other, ‘I seek five thousand for mine.’ Quoth the cook, ‘We have experienced the old man’s just judgment; what deemeth the king of fetching him?’ So the king bade fetch him, and when he saw the two horses, he said, ‘This one is worth a thousand and the other two thousand dinars.’ Quoth the folk, ‘This [horse that thou judgeth the lesser worth] is an evident thoroughbred and he is younger and swifter and more compact of limb than the other, ay, and finer of head and clearer of skin and colour. What token, then, hast thou of the truth of thy saying?’ And the old man said, ‘This ye say is all true, but his sire is old and this other is the son of a young horse. Now, when the son of an old horse standeth still [to rest,] his breath returneth not to him and his rider falleth into the hand of him who followeth after him; but the son of a young horse, if thou put him to speed and make him run, [then check him] and alight from off him, thou wilt find him untired, by reason of his robustness.’

  Quoth the merchant, ‘Indeed, it is as the old man avoucheth and he is an excellent judge.’ And the king said, ‘Increase his allowance.’ But the old man stood still and did not go away. So the king said to him, ‘Why dost thou not go about thy business?’ And he answered, ‘My business is with the king.’ ‘Name what thou wouldst have,’ said the king, and the other replied, ‘I would have thee question me of the quintessences of men, even as thou hast questioned me of the quintessences of horses.’ Quoth the king, ‘We have no occasion to question thee of [this].’ But the old man replied, ‘I have occasion to acquaint thee.’ ‘Say what thou pleasest,’ rejoined the king, and the old man said, ‘Verily, the king is the son of a baker.’ Quoth the king ‘How knowest thou that?’ And the other replied, ‘Know, O king, that I have examined into degrees and dignities and have learnt this.’

  Thereupon the king went in to his mother and questioned her of his father, and she told him that me king her husband was weak; ‘wherefore,’ quoth she, ‘I feared for the kingdom, lest it pass away, after his death; so I took to my bed a young man, a baker, and conceived by him [and bore a son]; and the kingship came into the hand of my son, to wit, thyself.’ So the king returned to the old man and said to him, ‘I am indeed the son of a baker; so do thou expound to me the means whereby thou knewest me for this.’ Quoth the other, ‘I knew that, hadst thou been a king’s son, thou wouldst have given largesse of things of price, such as rubies [and the like]; and wert thou the son of a Cadi, thou hadst given largesse of a dirhem or two dirhems, and wert thou the son of a merchant, thou hadst given wealth galore. But I saw that thou guerdonest me not but with cakes of bread [and other victual], wherefore I knew that thou wast the son of a baker.’ Quoth the king, ‘Thou hast hit the mark.’ And he gave him wealth galore and advanced him to high estate.”

  This story pleased King Shah Bekht and he marvelled thereat; but the vizier said to him, “This story is not more extraordinary than that of the rich man who married his fair daughter to the poor old man.” The king’s mind was occupied with the [promised] story and he bade the vizier withdraw to his lodging. So he [returned to his house and] abode there the rest of the night and the whole of the following day.

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  The Fourth Night of the Month.

  When the evening evened, the king withdrew to his privy sitting-chamber and bade fetch the vizier. When he presented himself before him, he said to him, “Tell me the story of the wealthy man who married his daughter to the poor old man.” “It is well,” answered the vizier. “Know, O puissant king, that

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  STORY OF THE RICH MAN WHO GAVE HIS FAIR DAUGHTER IN MARRIAGE TO THE POOR OLD MAN.

  A certain wealthy merchant had a fair daughter, who was as the full moon, and when she attained the age of fifteen, her father betook himself to an old man and spreading him a carpet in his sitting-chamber, gave him to eat and caroused with him. Then said he to him, ‘I desire to marry thee to my daughter.’ The other excused himself, because of his poverty, and said to him, ‘I am not worthy of her nor am I a match for thee.’ The merchant was instant with him, but he repeated his answer to him, saying, ‘I will not consent to this till thou acquaint me with the reason of thy desire for me. If I find it reasonable, I will fall in with thy wish; and if not, I will not do this ever.’

  ‘Know, then,’ said the merchant, ‘that I am a man from the land of China and was in my youth well-favoured and well-to-do. Now I made no account of womankind, one and all, but followed after boys, and one night I saw, in a dream, as it were a balance set up, and it was said by it, “This is the portion of such an one.” Presently, I heard my own name; so I looked and beheld a woman of the utmost loathliness; whereupon I awoke in affright and said, “I will never marry, lest haply this loathly woman fall to my lot.” Then I set out for this city with merchandise and the voyage was pleasant to me and the sojourn here, so that I took up my abode here awhile and got me friends and factors, till I had sold all my merchandise and taken its price and there was left me nothing to occupy me till the folk should depart and depart with them.

  One day, I changed my clothes and putting money in my sleeve, sallied forth to explore the holes and corners of this city, and as I was going about, I saw a handsome house. Its goodliness pleased me; so I stood looking on it, and behold, a lovely woman [at the lattice]. When she saw me, she made haste and descended, whilst I abode confounded. Then I betook myself to a tailor there and questioned him of the house and to whom it belonged. Quoth he, “It belongeth to such an one the notary, may God curse him!” “Is he her father?” asked I; [and he replied, “Yes.”] So I repaired in haste to a man, with whom I had been used to deposit my goods for sale, and told him that I desired to gain access to such an one the notary. Accordingly he assembled his friends and we betook ourselves to the notary’s house. When we came in to him, we saluted him and sat with him, and I said to him, “I come to thee as a suitor, desiring the hand of thy daughter in marriage.” Quoth he, “I have no daughter befitting this man.” And I rejoined, “God aid thee! My desire is for thee and not for her.” But he still refused and his friends said to him, “This is an honourable man and thine equal in estate, and it is not lawful to thee that thou hinder the girl of her fortune.” Quoth he to them, “Verily, my daughter whom ye seek is passing foul-favoured and in her are all blameworthy qualities.” And I said, “I accept
her, though she be as thou sayest.” Then said the folk, “Extolled be the perfection of God! A truce to talk! [The thing is settled;] so say the word, how much wilt thou have [to her dowry]?” Quoth he, “I must have four thousand dinars.” And I said, “Hearkening and obedience.”

  So the affair was concluded and we drew up the contract of marriage and I made the bride-feast; but on the wedding-night I beheld a thing than which never made God the Most High aught more loathly. Methought her people had contrived this by way of sport; so I laughed and looked for my mistress, whom I had seen [at the lattice], to make her appearance; but saw her not. When the affair was prolonged and I found none but her, I was like to go mad for vexation and fell to beseeching my Lord and humbling myself in supplication to Him that He would deliver me from her. When I arose in the morning, there came the chamber-woman and said to me, “Hast thou occasion for the bath?” “No,” answered I; and she said, “Art thou for breakfast?” But I replied, “No;” and on this wise I abode three days, tasting neither meat nor drink.

  When the damsel saw me in this plight, she said to me, “O man, tell me thy story, for, by Allah, an I may avail to thy deliverance, I will assuredly further thee thereto.” I gave ear to her speech and put faith in her loyalty and told her the story of the damsel whom I had seen [at the lattice] and how I had fallen in love with her; whereupon quoth she, “If the girl belong to me, that which I possess is thine, and if she belong to my father, I will demand her of him and deliver her to thee.” Then she fell to calling slave-girl after slave-girl and showing them to me, till I saw the damsel whom I loved and said, “This is she.” Quoth my wife, “Let not thy heart be troubled, for this is my slave-girl. My father gave her to me and I give her to thee. So comfort thyself and be of good heart and cheerful eye.”