One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  “She’s a wonder! her like none in universe see, * For beauty and

  graces and softest blee:

  That fairest of blossoms she blooms on earth * Than gardens the

  sheeniest sheenier she:

  And soft is the rose of her cheek to the touch * ‘Twixt apple’s

  and Eglantine’s lenity,

  And the forelock-falls on the brow of her * Death-doom to the

  World and the Faith decree;

  And she shames the branchlet of Basil when * She paces the Garden

  so fair and free.

  An water doubted her soft sweet gait * She had glided with water

  o’er greenery:

  When she walketh the world like the Húr al-Ayn160 * By the

  tongue of looks to her friends say we: —

  ‘O Seeker, an soughtest the heart of me * Heart of other thou

  never hadst sought for thee:

  O lover, an filled thee my love thou ne’er * ‘Mid lovers hadst

  dealt me such tyranny.

  Praise Him who made her an idol for man * And glory to Him who to

  her quoth ‘BE’!’”

  The Caliph was astonishment-struck at what he sighted of her beauty and loveliness whilst her mother stood before her saying, “O my child, how shall be our case with these tyrants,161 especially we being women and sans other recourse save Allah Almighty? Would Heaven I wot whence came to us this Robber who, had thy sire been on life, would have been far from able to stand at the door. But this is the doom of Destiny upon us by God’s will.” Replied the young lady, “O mother mine, and how long wilt thou put me to shame for this young man and call him ‘Robber,’ this whom the Almighty hath made my portion; and haply had he been a good man and no thief he had been given to some other?162 However he is my lot, and lauds to the Lord and gratitude for that He hath bestowed and made my portion.” When the ancient dame heard these words she pursued, “I hope to Heaven, O my daughter, that thy portion may not come hither this night, otherwise sore I fear they will seize him and do him a harm and well-away for his lost youthtide!” All this took place between mother and daughter whilst the Caliph stood upon the terrace-roof listening to their say, and presently he picked up a pebble the size of a vetchling163 and, setting it between his thumb and forefinger, jerked it at the wax candle which burned before the young lady and extinguished the light. “Who put out yon taper?” cried the old woman, “and left the others afire?” and so saying she rose and lighted it again. But Harun took aim at that same and jerking another pebble once more extinguished it and made her exclaim, “Ah me! what can have put out this also?” and when the quenching and quickening were repeated for the third time she cried with a loud voice saying, “Assuredly the air must have waxed very draughty and gusty; so whenever I light a candle the breeze bloweth it out.” Hereat laughed the young lady and putting forth her hand to the taper would have lit it a third time when behold, her finger was struck by a pebble and her wits fled her head. But as the mother turned towards the terrace-wall the first glance showed to her sight her son-in-law there sitting, so she cried to her daughter “O my child, behold thy bridegroom whence he cometh unto thee, but robbers arrive not save by the roof, and had he not been a housebreaker he would have entered by the door. However Alhamdolillah that he hath chosen the way of our terrace, otherwise they had captured him;” presently adding, “Woe to thee, O miserable, fly hence or the watch at the door shall seize thee and we women shall not avail to release thee after thou fallest into their hands; nor will any have ruth upon thee; nay, they will cut off at least one of thine extremities. So save thyself and vanish so as not to lapse into the grip of the patrol.” But hearing these her words he laughed and said to her, “Do thou open to me the terrace-wicket that I come down to you and see how to act with these dogs and dog- sons.” She replied, “Woe to thee, O miserable, deemest thou these be like unto that poor Kazi who snipped his gown in fear of thee: he who now standeth at the door is Nazuk Wali and hast thou authority over him also?” He repeated, “Open to me that I may come down, otherwise I will break in the door;” so she unbolted the terrace-wicket and he descended the stairs and entered the hall where he took seat beside his bride and said, “I am an- hungered; what have ye by way of food?” The ancient dame cried, “And what food shall go down grateful to thy stomach and pleasant when the police are at the door?” and he replied, “Bring me what ye have and fear not.” So she arose and served up to him whatso remained of meat and sweetmeat and he fell to morselling164 them with mouthfuls and soothing them with soft words till they had their sufficiency of victual, after which she, the mother-in- law, removed the tray. Meanwhile the Chief of Police and his varlets stood shouting at the door and saying, “Open to us, otherwise we will break in.” Presently quoth the Caliph to the old trot, “Take this seal-ring and go thou forth to them and place it in the Wali’s hands. An he ask thee, ‘Who is the owner of this signet?’ answer thou, ‘Here is he with me;’ and if he enquire of thee, ‘What doth he wish and what may he want?’ do thou reply, ‘He requireth a ladder of four rungs and its gear, not forgetting a bundle of rods;165 also do thou, O man, enter with four of thy lieutenants and see what else he demandeth.’” When the ancient dame heard this from him she exclaimed, “And doth the Wali also dread thee or fear this seal- ring? My only fear is that they may now seize me and throw me and beat me with a bastinado so painful that it will be the death of me, and they hearken not to a word of mine, nor suffer thee to avail me aught.” Rejoined the Caliph, “Be not alarmed, he shall not be able to gainsay my word;” and she, “An the Wali fear thee and give ear to thee, then will I gird my loins and suffer thee to teach me something of thy craft even were it that of robbing slaves’ shoon.” “Go forth without affright,” said he laughing at her words, whereupon she took the seal-ring and went as far as behind the door and no farther, muttering to herself, “I will not open it wholly but only a little so as to give them the signet; then if they hearken to what saith this Robber ’tis well, otherwise I will keep the bolt fastened as it was.” Presently she went forward and addressed the watch saying, “What is it ye want?” and Shamamah cried in reply, “O ill-omened old baggage, O rider of the jar,166 O consorter of thieves, we want the robber who is in thy house that we may take him and strike off his hand and his foot; and thou shalt see what we will do with thee after that.” She shrank from his words, but presently she heartened her heart and said to him, “Amongst you is there any who can read a whit?” “Yes,” said the Wali, and she rejoined, “Take thou this seal-ring and see what be graven thereupon and what may be its owner’s name.” “Almighty Allah curse him,” cried the lieutenant Shamamah, presently adding to the Wali, “O Emir, as soon as the old crone shall come forth I will throw her and flog her with a sore flogging; then let us enter the door and slay her and harry the house and seize the robber; after which I will inspect the signet and find out its owner and who sendeth it; then, if this be one of whom we stand in shame we will say, ‘Indeed we read not its graving before the command was somewhat rashly carried out.’ On this wise none may avail to molest us or thee.” Hereupon he drew near the door and cried to her, “Show me that thou hast, and perhaps the sending it may save thee.” So she opened one leaf of the door sufficient to thrust out her hand and gave him the ring which he took and passed to the Chief of Police. But when the Wali had considered and read the name engraved (which was that of the Commander of the Faithful, Harun the Orthodox), his colour waxed wan and his limbs quaked with fear. “What is to do with thee?” asked Shamamah, and the other answered, “Take and look!” The man hent the ring in hand and coming forward to the light read what was on it and understood that it was the signet of the Vicar of Allah. So a colick167 attacked his entrails and he would have spoken but he could stammer only “Bí, Bí, Bí”168 whereupon quoth the Master of Police, “The rods of Allah are descending upon us, O accurst, O son of a sire accurst: all this is of thy dirty dealing and thy greed of gain: but do thou address th
y creditor169 and save thyself alive.” Hereat quoth Shamamah “O my lady, what dost thou require?” and quoth she to herself, “Indeed I am rejoiced for that they dread my son-in-law;” and presently she spoke aloud to him and said, “The lord of the seal-ring demandeth of thee a ladder of four rungs, a bundle of rods and cords and a bag containing the required gear,170 also that the Wali and his four lieutenants go within to him” He replied, “O my lady chief of this household, and where is he the owner of the signet?” “Here is he seated in the hall,” she replied and the Wali rejoined, “What was it he said to thee?” She then repeated the command about the Wali and the men and the bag, whereat he asked again concerning the whereabouts of the signet-owner and declared the gear to be ready, while all of them bepiddled their bag- trousers with fear.171 Then the Wali and his four lieutenants, amongst whom was Shamamah the Accurst, entered the house, and the Caliph commanded lieutenant Hasan (knowing him for a kindly man of goodly ways and loath to injure his neighbour as proved by his opposing the harshness of Shamamah), saying, “Hie thee, O Hasan, and summon forthright Yunas the Emir of a thousand!” So this lord came in all haste172 and was bidden to bastinado the Wali and Shamamah which he did with such good will that the nails fell from their toes; after which they were carried off and thrown into gaol. Then the Caliph largessed lieutenant Hasan; and, appointing him on the spot Chief of Police, dismissed the watch to their barracks. And when the street was cleared the old woman returning to the Harem said to her son-in-law, laughing the while, “There be none in this world to fellow thee as the Prince of Robbers! The Wali dreadeth thee and the Kazi dreadeth thee and all dread thee, whilst I gird my loins in thy service and become a she-robber amongst the women even as thou art a Robber amongst men, and indeed so saith the old saw, ‘The slave is fashioned of his lord’s clay and the son after the features of his sire.’ Had this Wali, at his first coming, let break down the door and had his men rushed in upon us and thou not present, what would have been our case with them? But now to Allah be laud and gratitude!” The Caliph hearing these words laughed, and taking seat beside his bride, who rejoiced in him, asked his mother-in-law, “Say me, didst ever see a Robber who bore him on this wise with the Wali and his men?” and answered she, “Never, by the life of thee, but may Allah Almighty reprehend the Caliph for that he did by us and punish him for wronging us, otherwise who was it forwarded thee to us, O Robber?” Quoth the Commander of the Faithful in his mind, “How have I wronged this ill-omened old woman that she curseth me?” and presently he asked her, “And wherein hath the Caliph done thee an injury?” She replied, “And what hath the Caliph left us of livelihood and so forth when he marauded our mansion and seized all our seisins? Even this hall was part of the plunder and they laid it waste after taking from it all they could of marble and joinery and what-not; and they left us paupers, as thou sawest, without aught wherewith to veil us and naught to eat. So had it not been that Almighty Allah favoured us with thyself, O Robber, we had been of the destroyed by famine and so forth.” “And wherefore did the Caliph plunder you?” asked he, “and what was the cause of his so doing?” She answered,173 “My son was a Chamberlain of the Commander of the Faithful, and one day as he was sitting in this our home two women asked him for a draught of water which he gave to them. Presently the elder brought him a porcelain charger full of pancakes with the tidings that it had been sent as a return gift from the young lady her companion who had drunk from his hand; and he replied, ‘Set it down and wend thy ways,’ which she did. Presently as my son sat outside his door, the Watchman came up to offer blessings on the occasion of the Greater Festival and he gave him the charger and the man fared forth; but ere an hour had sped, folk came who marauded our mansion, and seizing my son, carried him before the Caliph, who demanded of him how the charger had come to his hands. He told him what I have told thee, and the Commander of the Faithful asked him, ‘Say me sawest thou aught of the charms of the young lady?’ Now my son had on his lips to say No, but his tongue foreran him and he stammered out, ‘Yes, I espied her face,’ without really having seen her at all, for that when drinking she had turned to the wall. The Caliph hearing this hapless reply summoned the lady and bade smite both their necks, but in honour of the Festival-eve he had them carried off to prison. Such be then the reason of the wrong by the Caliph wrought, and except for this injustice and his seizure of my son, O Robber, it had been long ere thou hadst wedded my daughter.” When the Prince of True Believers heard the words of her, he said in his mind, “Verily I have oppressed these unhappiest” and he presently asked her, “What wilt thou say if I cause the Caliph to free thy son from gaol and robe him and return his fiefs to him and promote him in the Chamberlain’s office and return him to thee this very night?” Hereat the old woman laughed and made answer, “Hold thy peace! This one is no Chief of Police that he fear thee and thou work on him whatso thou willest: this one is the Prince of True Believers Harun al-Rashid, whose behest is heard both in Orient and in Occident, the lord of hosts and armies, one at whose gate the lowest menial is higher in degree than the Wali. Be not therefore beguiled by whatso thou hast done, nor count the Caliph as one of these lest thou cast thyself into doom of destruction, and there be an end of thy affair, while we unfortunates abide without a man in the house, and my son fail of being righted by him who wronged him.” But when the Commander of the Faithful heard these words, his eyes brimmed with tears for ruth of her; then, rising without stay or delay, he would have fared forth when the old woman and the young lady hung about his neck crying, “We adjure thee, by Almighty Allah, that thou draw back from this business, for that we fear greatly on thy account.” But he replied, “There is no help therefor,” and he made oath that perforce he must go. Then he fared for the Palace of his kingship, and seating himself upon the throne bade summon the Emirs and Wazirs and Chamberlains, who flocked into the presence and kissed ground and prayed for him saying, “’Tis well, Inshallah! and what may be the reason for calling us together at this time o’ night?” Said he, “I have been pondering the affair of Alaeddin the Emir, the Chamberlain, how I seized him wrongfully and jailed him, yet amongst you all was not a single one to intercede for him or to cheer him with your companionship.” They bussed ground and replied, “Verily we were awe-struck by the majesty of the Prince of True Believers; but now at this hour we implore of the Commander of the Faithful his mercy upon his slave and chattel;” and so saying, they bared their heads and kissing the floor did humble obeisance. He replied, “I have accepted174 your intercession on his account, and I have vouchsafed to him pardon; so hie ye to him and robe him with a sumptuous robe and bring him to me.” They did the bidding of their lord and led the youth to the presence where he kissed ground and prayed for the permanence of the Caliph’s rule; and the Sovran accepting this clothed him in a coat whereon plates of gold were hammered175 and binding round his head a turband of fine gauze with richly embroidered ends made him Chief Lord of the Right176 and said to him, “Hie thee now to thy home!” Accordingly he blessed the Prince and went forth accompanied by all the Emirs who rode their blood-steeds, and the Knights fared with him and escorted him in procession, with kettledrums and clarions, till they reached his mansion. Here his mother and his sister heard the hubbub of the multitude and the crash of the kettledrums and were asking, “What is to do?” when the bearers of glad tidings forewent the folk and knocked at the door saying, “We require of you the sweetmeats of good news, for the Caliph hath shown grace to Alaeddin the Chamberlain and hath increased his fiefs besides making him Chief Lord of the Right.” Hearing this they rejoiced with joy exceeding and gave to the messengers what satisfied them, and while they were thus, behold, Alaeddin the son of the house arrived and entered therein. His mother and sister sprang up and saluted him throwing their arms round his neck and weeping for stress of gladness. Presently he sat down and fell to recounting to them what had befallen him; but chancing to look around he saw that the house had changed condition and had been renovated; so he said “
O my mother, the time of my absence hath been short and when was this lodging made new?” She replied, “O my son, what day thou wast seized, they plundered our abode even to tearing up the slabs and the doors, nor did they leave us aught worth a single dirham: indeed we passed three days without breaking our fast upon aught of victual.” Hearing this from her quoth he, “But whence cometh all this to you, these stuffs and vessels, and who was it rebuilded this house in a space so short? Or haply is all this I see in the land of dreams?” But quoth she, “Nay, ’tis no vision but an absolute reality and ’twas all done by my son-in-law in a single day.” “And who may be my new brother-in-law?” he enquired, “and when didst thou give away my sister, and who married her without my leave?”177 “Hold thy peace, O my son,” rejoined she, “but for him we had died of want and hunger!” “And what may be his calling?” the Emir asked, and she answered, “A Robber!” But when her son heard this he was like to choke with anger and he cried, “What degree hath this robber that he become my brother-in-law? Now by the tomb of my forbears I will assuredly smite his neck.” “Cast away from thee such wild talk,” cried she, “for the mischief of another is greater than thy mischief, withal naught thereof availed him178 with a man who wrought all thou seest in half a day.” Then she related to her son what had befallen the Kazi and the Wali from the man and how he had bastinado’d the police, showing him as he spoke the blood which had poured from their bodies upon the floor for excess of flogging; and she continued, “Presently I complained to him of my case, how the Commander of the Faithful had seized thee and imprisoned thee when he said to me, ‘At this very moment I fare to the Caliph and cause him to free thy son and suffer him to return home; also to robe him and to increase his fiefs;’ whereupon he went from us and after an hour, lo and behold! thou appearedst; so but for him we had never seen thee any more.” When her son heard these words, his wits were bewildered and he was confounded at his case, so he asked her, “What may this man be styled and what may be his name?” She answered, “We are ignorant an he have any name or not, for however much we enquired of the marble-cutters and master artificers and handi-craftsmen, they told us only that his bye- name179 is Al-Bundukani without letting us know any other. Moreover on like wise when he sent me to fetch the Kazi he bade me tell him that Al-Bundukani had summoned him.” Now when the Emir Alaeddin heard her name Al-Bundukani he knew that it was the Commander of the Faithful, nor could he prevent himself springing to his feet and kissing ground seven times; but as his mother beheld this she laughed and cried, “O thou brawler,180 ’tis as if he had met thee in the street and had given thee to drink a draught of clotted blood, one beyond the common!181 What of thy brave words when anon thou saidst, ‘I will smite his neck’?” “And dost thou know,” quoth he, “who may be the person thou so callest?” and quoth she, “Who may he be?” “The Commander of the Faithful, the Caliph Harun al-Rashid in person,” cried her son, “and what other could have done with the Kazi and the Wali and the rest what he did?” When she heard these words, she dried up with dread and cried, “O my son, set me in a place of safety,182 for he will suffer me no longer to cumber the face of earth by reason of my often speaking at him; nor did I ever cease to address him as ‘Robber.’” Now whilst they were speaking behold, came up the Commander of the Faithful, whereat Alaeddin arose and kissed ground and blessed him, but the ancient dame took to flight and hid her in a closet. The Caliph seated himself, then he looked around and, not seeing his mother-in-law, said to the Chamberlain, “And where may be thy parent?” “She dreadeth,” replied Alaeddin, ‘and standeth in awe of the Caliph’s majesty;” but Harun rejoined, “There is no harm for her.” Then he bade her be summoned whereat she appeared and kissed ground and prayed for the permanency of his kingship, and he said to her, “Erewhiles thou girdest thy waist to aid me in stealing slaves’ shoon and now thou fliest from thy teacher?” She blushed for shame and exclaimed, “Pardon, O Commander of the Faithful,” and Harun al-Rashid183 replied, “May Allah pardon the Past.” Presently he sent for the Princess, the daughter of the Chosroë and, summoning the Kazi, forthright divorced her and gave her in marriage to Alaeddin, his Chamberlain. Hereupon were spread bride-feasts which gathered together all the Lords of the Empire and the Grandees of Baghdad, and tables and trays of food were laid out during three successive days for the mesquin and the miserable. The visit of entrance was paid by the two bridegrooms on a single night when both went in unto their wives and took their joy of them, and made perfect their lives with the liveliest enjoyment. And ever after they passed the fairest of days till such time as came to them the Destroyer of delights and the Severer of societies and all passed away and died.