Lost at Heart: A Steamy Small Town Romance (Bluerock Series Book 2)

by Danielle Marx

I dropped back into my seat, my mind stuck in a daze. My eyes struggled to focus, and the commotion further down the hallway was replaced with that deafening clock yet again. It thumped in my ear.

  Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

  My heart crushed against my ribcage, breaking and bleeding out through my cold body.

  I glanced back down to the nurses station, my lost eyes replacing Mr and Mrs Haxley’s faces with others.

  Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

  Mr and Mrs Dole, sobbing uncontrollably as the doctor told them that he couldn’t save Lily. Instead of my sweet little nurse, a huge police officer placed his hand on her father’s shoulder and expressed his deepest sorrow for their loss.

  I tore my eyes away from the sight when Mrs Dole howled out into the waiting room and collapsed to the floor. I sat across from them, telling myself I already knew this. I already knew she was dead when she took her last breath on the kitchen floor. But it didn’t soften the blow, not in the slightest.

  Hot tears streamed from my eyes, and I remember the other police officer sitting by my side with his notebook and pen, yelling at an orderly to fetch some tissues. My hands were sticky with bright red blood covering my tattoo completely.

  It was gone. She was gone. Vanished and replaced with tragic loss and violence.

  And the entire time, a question ran through my mind, over and over. Why not me? It should’ve been me. The damage would have been so much less had I been the one to take the bullet.

  The guilt broke part of my soul. It weighed me down, crushing my entire existence to the hospital floor.

  Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

  And here I was again. A different hospital. A different state. A different break in my heart.

  He’s not dead yet, give him time.

  Maybe not. Maybe he’d wake up. Maybe he’d come back to me.

  I couldn’t give up on him. Not yet. I owed him that much at least. No matter how painful it was, no matter how hard it would be, I had to stay here by his side and wait for his handsome blue eyes to open or his heart to finally stop.

  A warm hand wrapped around mine and when I looked up, Mr Haxley was smiling down at me with Colton’s gentle eyes. These ones were filled with agony though. He knelt down to my side and brushed my cheek. I hadn’t even realized I was crying.

  “Thank you,” he croaked.

  I felt my eyebrows scrunch together and whispered back to him, “What for?”

  “You found my boy. Got him here.”

  “He might not wake up,” I reminded myself more than him.

  “Doesn’t matter. Whatever happens, happens. I won’t forget this though. You saved my Colton. You gave him a chance. Thank you, Tia.”

  He pulled me in and held me. My head flopped onto his shoulder as if it always belonged there. I’d never received this comfort from Lily’s parents. After her death they could barely look me in the eye without breaking down.

  But here was this man that hardly knew me, giving me the support to not fall down. We shared something in common though. We both loved his son and wouldn’t give up. We couldn’t. Not for one second.

  Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Tia

  Five days passed, and he still didn’t wake up. Everyday the doctor’s face turned darker. The hope faded with every sunset, but Colton’s parents never gave up.

  Mrs Haxley scolded him for being rude and ignoring his mother’s orders to open his eyes. She reminded him that the longer he kept this up, the more trouble he would be in. She spoke as if he was a child again. On the third day she threatened to bring down her karaoke machine and give him a private concert with all her favorite ballads. “If that doesn’t scare you into waking up, Colt, I don’t know what will.”

  She never gave up. She carried on acting like he could hear her every word she said.

  Mr Haxley was less enthusiastic though. He would sit by his bedside every morning, retelling old stories about their camping trips and adventures on Shard Lake, in his beloved fishing boat. I sat by the window listening to their memories. Perfect memories. The ones I always imagined children would share with their parents after years of family fun. But as happy as they were, Mr Haxley would usually end the visit with a teary goodbye, the fear of losing yet another son plaguing his mind.

  Maddie and Logan stopped by the hospital everyday too. They dropped off essentials for me and sat beside their friend, willing him to wake up. Maddie spent most of the visit encouraging me to get some rest and a proper meal.

  “You can’t keep this up, Tia,” she insisted. “You’ll burn yourself out. You need to go home and take care of yourself for a little while.”

  I shrugged off her concern and sat back down by Colton’s bedside. I would keep it up for as long as I had to.

  And so I did. I sat there, holding his lifeless hand, waiting for something. A twitch. A squeeze. A sign that he wasn’t just a slab of meat.

  I couldn’t talk to him. Everytime I opened my mouth, I broke down. Heavy sobs filled the hospital room, so harsh I could barely catch my breath.

  My plans were gone. Lost in the wind. But I couldn’t help wondering if anything had really changed at all. This whole nightmare was proof that I would lose someone I loved if I gave into it again. I belonged alone, and I was more sure now than ever before that I couldn’t go through this again. My cold empty heart had suffered too many breaks already. Surely, it wouldn’t survive another. And it would happen again. If Colton did wake up, we would be back here in no time, half dead, with me sobbing by his side.

  Colton took risks. His whole code was sacrificing his safety for others. Be it a dog, horse, or person. He would never give up that code. And why should he? It was one of the things I loved about him. His kindness and generosity. His natural impulse for self sacrifice. I didn’t want him to give up on who he was.

  I couldn’t figure it all out now though. My job at that moment was to wait. Wait for the flat line or wait for his blue eyes to open wide.

  The sun had gone down hours ago. I rested my head by Colton’s shoulder, drifting off to the steady sound of his breathing machine. I was about to be lulled into another faint sleep when the door creaked open across his room.

  “Did I wake you?” Shay whispered as her head peeked through the opening.

  I sat up and rubbed the stiffness from my neck. “No. I was just resting my eyes.”

  She walked in, closing the door shut behind her. She looked gorgeous. A flowy, cream evening gown with silver shoes. Her dirty blonde hair was braided elegantly over one shoulder, and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever seen her wearing lip gloss before now.

  It was far too late for her to be visiting her brother, and her outfit may have been stunning, but a little too dressy for a night at the hospital. “You look nice. What’s the occasion?”

  She furrowed her brow and tilted her head at me as if it was a stupid question. “The auction was tonight, Miss Lopez. Remember?”

  I squeezed my tired eyes shut and groaned. “Shit. I completely forgot.”

  “That’s okay. Mom and Dad didn’t go either, but I figured one Haxley should be there at least.” She walked over to her big brother and sat on the edge of his bed. “Colton would have killed me if I missed it.”

  “How did it go?”

  “Great, considering. Mr Anderson took care of everything with his wife. There were a lot of people there and every piece was sold. Total success.” As pleased as she was, Shay had little to smile about. She looked down at her brother with the same broken look she’d worn all week during her visits.

  “What about your painting of the Rabbit Hut?”

  A small smile tugged at her lip and she shot me an amused look. “Kyle bought it.”

  I choked out a tiny laugh. “He did?”

  “He used all the money he made from a gig last month. There was another offer, and the bidding got pretty high. He didn’t quit though. Mackenzie said he’s in love with me.” She rolled her eyes. “He never says an
ything nice to me though. He just broods and ignores me.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe he just likes my work.”

  I couldn’t help but get the butterflies for her. Teenage boys weren’t so complicated in my experience. And when one bought a piece of your art for a killer price, it usually had more of a reason behind it than just liking the work.

  I’d have said the same to Shay, but she had too much going on right now to rot her brain with questions about the behavior of boys and crushes. I opted for a less complicated response. “Well, you do have talent. And I’m glad it all worked out.”

  I couldn’t help feeling guilty for missing it. I’d put so much work into organizing the whole thing. I even had a dress on hold at a boutique in Candace. It all seemed so pointless now. It was strange how much time we wasted in life fretting over trivial things. When the shit hit the fan, your whole philosophy on life changed in an instant, and nothing seemed to matter but making sure the people you loved were still breathing. I looked at Colton and watched his broad chest rise and fall, not a second out of beat. That reassuring breath had me forgetting what that damn dress even looked like.

  “I just wanted to stop by on my way back,” Shay said, stroking her hand through Colton’s short hair. “I wanted him to know it all worked out. That he doesn’t need to worry about the money for a while. It’ll be something good for him to come back to.”

  She had the Haxley strength. Everytime she came by to visit him she never cried, never doubted for a second that Colton would come back to us. Shay took it as a personal insult whenever anyone mentioned the idea of him never waking up. On the first day, she threatened to punch the doctor if she said anything of the sort in front of her mother again.

  She had fight . The same fight Colton had, and whenever she sat by his bed, she gave some of that fight to me. Thank fuck for Shay. I sure as hell couldn’t have done this without her.

  “I should get going, Miss Lopez. Mom will be waiting for me.” She bent down and kissed her brother on the cheek, leaving a sticky lip gloss stain below his eye. “I’ll come by again tomorrow.”

  I waved her through the door, her gown swishing behind her on the shiny, white tiles. I turned my attention back to Colton and surprised myself when my mouth instinctively opened. “You’re a lucky man to have this family. They won’t give up on you, so don’t let them down.”

  It was true. He had practically won the lottery with this great gift of love and support. It was something I’d never really looked for in life, but seeing it these past few days had given me an overpowering sense of sadness. For the first time in my life, I pined for the family I never had.

  Once the words had left my mouth, I rested my head back down by his shoulder and slid my fingers between his. I sighed and kissed his muscled arm, snuggling down next to him. “Goodnight, love.”

  I drifted back off. But just before I hit limbo, plunging into the deepest stages of sleep, I swore I felt his perfectly synced breath skip the tiniest of beats.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Colton

  I couldn’t see. The light above me was blinding. I tried to call out, but something hard was lodged to the back of my throat, blocking me from making a sound.

  “Colton?” a deep voice spoke from my side. “Colton, can you hear me?”

  It was Dad. I tried to answer him, but the object made me choke on the words.

  “Easy. Easy,” another voice soothed, one I didn’t recognize. A second later the object that was blocking my vocal cords was removed. I gasped out for air. “Deep breaths, Colton. Nice and easy now.”

  I forced the light into my eyes and spotted the bright ceiling above me. Then Dad appeared with tired eyes and a chin full of stubble. He looked as though he’d aged ten years. “It’s alright, son. You’re in the hospital. You had an accident. Do you remember?”

  The horse. The storm. The blood. Fuck . I actually made it. I’d survived. How the hell had I survived that ? My mind was foggy and my throat burnt like the pits of hell. I had to know though. I had to know if she was safe. “Tia.”

  “She’s fine, Colt. She’s safe. Your mother sent her home to get some sleep, but I’ll call her and she’ll come right back. Just try to relax.”

  “Rashi? The mare?” It barely came out. A series of croaks and mumbles, but Dad knew exactly what I was trying to say.

  A smile grew on his face. “They’re fine. They got back safe and sound.” He let out a low chuckle. “You almost died, and you’re still prioritising a couple of damn horses. Chip off the old block. Let’s not tell your mother that was the second thing to come out of your mouth when you woke up, yeah?”

  I could feel a couple of people enter the room, prodding and poking at my heavy body. A doctor gave me the rundown of my condition, but I hardly heard a word of it. My eyes were still adjusting.

  My mind focused back to Tia. I needed to see her. I needed to check she was okay. Even if she was safe and well, I knew the trauma of witnessing me almost die must have destroyed her. I needed her to know I was okay, and from the odd words I had picked up from the doctor, I knew I was. Damaged and weak, sure. But I was still breathing. Still here. And I needed to see my girl now, more than anyone.

  When I opened my eyes again, it was darker. My sight adjusted better this time. The bed had been raised a little so I could see around the room. The window was uncovered, a street light shone through against the night sky. I’d been fading in and out of consciousness all day, but this was the first time I’d woken up and felt strong enough to raise my arms.

  I lifted one to my face, feeling the outline of a breathing tube under my nose. I reached over my tender torso to my other arm and examined the mountain of tape over the needle in my vein.

  “Hey, Ranger.”

  My head shot up and over to the other side of the room where her silky voice had come from. I could just about see her, sitting in the shadows with her knees brought up to her chest. “Tia?”

  “It’s me.”

  I held my hand out, motioning her to come closer, out of the darkness. “Baby, come here. Let me look at you.”

  She placed both her feet on the floor and walked over to me into the dim light. It wasn’t her usual confident stride where her hips swayed with each step. No, this walk was different. Timid even.

  She had on a white hooded sweater and comfy jeans. The closer she got, the clearer I could see the redness skimming under her eyes. She hadn’t a speck of makeup on her face. Her long, thick, chocolate brown hair was piled high on her head. No matter how dressed down and tired she looked, she was still the only thing I’d wanted to see since I woke up, and still the most gorgeous woman in the world. “Beautiful Tia.”

  She smiled and perched on the edge of my bed, brushing her fingers around my eyes. “I didn’t think I’d ever see these again.”

  I reached out for her face touching her soft cheek, checking it really was her and not a dream. She felt warm under my fingers. Soft and perfect. “I’m sorry I scared you, baby. Are you okay?”

  Her smile faded a little. She moved her hands from my face. “I’m okay. Are you okay?”

  “I am now you’re here.”

  “I’m sorry. I should have been here when you woke up. I was, but your mom made me go home to get some rest and, well...you know how hard it is to argue with her.”

  Oh, I knew that only too well. “It’s alright. Forget about it. You’re here now.”

  With every passing second, I could feel Tia tense up by my side. Her face darkened a little more and I knew that look well by now. Fear.

  She moved off of the bed and took the chair next to me. It was close but not as close as I wanted her to be. I wouldn’t have thought much of it, but when she straightened her back and looked down at her restless hands, I knew something was bothering her.

  “Tia, what is it?”

  She took a deep breath, almost as if she needed to push the words out with blunt force. “It was a break in. Back in New York.” She cleared her throat an
d looked up at me, probably noticing the confusion on my face. “You want to know what happened to me, right?”

  Yes. Absolutely. I’d wanted Tia to open up to me for so long now. I wanted to help carry some of that baggage that crushed her down everyday. “I do.”

  She took another deep breath and continued. “I went home one night after work. Lily was there opening a bottle of wine, celebrating her new job at the summer camp. She was so excited.” She smiled a little at the memory. “We drank the wine and stayed up late, watching a movie. I went into the kitchen to make some more popcorn, but I heard this noise. It was coming from the door, like a clicking sound. I walked over to it and realized someone was on the other side, picking the lock.”

  I suspected a break in from the start. At least now I knew why she felt so afraid to stay in a place with poor security. This fucker hadn’t just broken the door down. He’d hacked his way in. That would make anyone a little nervous.

  “Before I had a chance to do anything, the door flew open and there he was, standing in the kitchen, pointing a gun at me.”

  My fists clenched as she went on.

  “He was nervous. Twitching. Obviously a junkie looking for an easy target. I think he was more afraid of seeing me than I was of him, to be completely honest. So, I put my hands up and told him to take whatever he wanted. We didn’t have anything really except our purses and laptops. I even offered to bag it all up for him. He nodded at me and started to lower his gun. But then Lily walked in.” Tia’s eyes were glossy, as if lost in the nightmare memory. “She saw the gun aimed at me and charged at the guy. She didn’t even reach him. He turned to her and shot her in the stomach. As soon as she dropped to the floor he was gone. Out the door, like nothing had happened.”

  “Jesus, Tia. I’m so sorry.” I’d wanted her to open up to me, but now that moment was here, I could see the pain in her eyes, the agony in her voice. I hated myself for putting her through this again.

  “I tried to keep her awake. I tried to stop the bleeding and called out for help. The stoners from across the hall heard us and came running in. They called an ambulance, but I knew it was too late. She was crying out, screaming, begging for help. I held her in my arms and watched her take her last breath.” Tia looked up at me. She wiped her cheek, finally snapping out of the hazy memory. “I still hear her, Colton. Crying out for help.”