Lost at Heart: A Steamy Small Town Romance (Bluerock Series Book 2)

by Danielle Marx

  “You told anybody else?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  “Then why tell me ?”

  Her eyebrows furrowed, trying to understand what I was getting at. I wasn’t even sure myself. The question rolled around her brain for a moment before she answered. “You won’t say anything to anyone. And even if you want to give me a hard time about it, you won’t. I can trust you with it.”

  For the first time in weeks my broken heart warmed a little. My baby sister had told me something so personal without any doubt, because she knew me. I’d been a part of her life since the day she was born. She trusted me. She knew her secret was safe.

  Tia had never had that. She had grown up all alone. No siblings. No parents. No friends. When she finally found one, they were torn away, brutally.

  Of course she left. She had to leave. She had to protect herself. It didn’t matter how many times I reassured her she would be happy with me, the doubt would always be there. She didn’t know me like Shay did. She hadn’t spent years with me by her side, proving I could be trusted. She went with her gut, and her gut told her to run.

  I couldn’t hate her for that or mope around. No matter how much pain I was in, I knew Tia would be feeling it tenfold. And just like that, my heart stopped breaking for myself and began breaking for her.

  I looked up at Shay and gave her a small smile. “Thank you for telling me. You know where I am if you ever want to talk.”

  A tiny blush ran over her cheeks as she went back to work on her drawing. “I’ll remember that.”

  I could only hope I was doing a decent job at being her brother. Afterall, I was making up for Spencer too. He’d want me to take extra care of her, and I would. Always.

  “Hey, boss,” Carl said as he entered the dining room. “Ooh, bacon.” He snatched the rashers from my plate and started to scoff them down.

  “Can I get you some coffee, Ranger Scott?” Mom asked, following him in.

  “Nah, I’m good thanks, Mrs Haxley. I just stopped by to show you this.” He pulled out an envelope from the inside of his jacket and handed it to me.

  I tore open the seal and pulled out a check. A sixty-two thousand dollar check. “What the hell?”

  “It’s from the art auction. The one you slept through,” he chuckled, but stopped when he saw the disapproving look on my mothers face.

  “ Sixty-two thousand ? Holy shit.”

  Shay snatched the check from my hand, her eyes as wide as mine. “This is insane, Colt. I never would have thought we made that much. Our aim was only ten grand.”

  Carl sank down into a chair, looking as happy as the rest of us. “New radios, man. Finally . This is more than enough to cover the damages and push us through the tough months. Once word got out about your accident, even more folk chipped in to help. Hell of a good fundraiser, huh? Miss Lopez really pulled it off.”

  The sound of her name lingered in the air. Mom quickly changed the subject by suggesting some of the money be donated to the animal rescue centre.

  “Sounds good, Mom,” Shay agreed, trying to help push away the conversation. They knew Tia was a sore spot, and were doing their best to make my recovery as painless as possible.

  Despite their efforts, Tia’s work couldnt be ignored. Because of her, no one would lose their job, and the park would survive this wet season. Just as I predicted, this girl came into my life like a storm, turning it upside down and making it better than I could have ever imagined.

  Carl stood up, taking the check from Shay’s fingers. “Well, I best go cash this thing before your dad accuses me of playing hooky.”

  “I’ll walk you out,” I said, easing myself up.

  When we reached the door, Carl turned to me. “You seem better. Looking forward to getting back to work?”

  I held my stomach, feeling the ache run through my fresh scar. The idea of facing the Rabbit Hut was enough to scare me into staying at home forever. I couldn’t let him know that though. “Yeah. It’ll be good to get back out there.”

  “Well, you’re missed, if that’s encouraging to hear.”

  “Dad giving you a hard time, then?” I said with a smirk.

  “That obvious, huh?” he groaned. “The man’s got standards the damn trees can’t even live up to.”

  “He’s a professional.” I chuckled, wincing at the pain.

  “And I’ll thank him for his service and welcome his son back as soon as I can.” He slapped me on the shoulder and headed out of the door. “Take care, now.”

  I closed it and leant my palms against the wood, taking a moment of respite. Mom would no doubt be flapping around like a mother hen soon enough. These small moments were a necessity. But every time I got a moment of quiet, all I could think about was Tia.

  This was touture. How could I stand it for the rest of my life?

  I rested my head against the door and closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath before opening them back up. That’s when I spotted it. On the table by the door, underneath Shay’s biology textbook. I pushed away from the door and slid the gray book out from the pile. It was scuffed on the corners and stained with coffee cup rings. But as soon as I saw it, I knew exactly what it was.

  Tia’s sketchbook.

  She bought it at the stripmall with Maddie on her second day here and spent every free moment scribbling in it, similar to the way my sister did.

  I flicked through the pages, catching that dark perfume and charcoal scent. There were her samples for the mural, and images of the local wildlife and scenery. I recognized a rough sketch of Maddie and Logan, eating burgers together at The Outlaw. And another of Shay and Mackenzie, sunbathing on the grass. Sketches of the diner, the town square, and a colorful one of Shard Lake, with ducks floating across.

  Each sketch was rough and fast, but lovingly worked in Tia’s signature style. The pages were full to the brim with character and sass. If there was ever an object that embodied the woman, it was this one. And although there wasn’t a single sketch of me, at the back of the book on two full pages, was our waterfall. Bright and rich, capturing it to perfection. I could still see her, as clear as day. Knelt down, naked in the grass, working tirelessly on it. She was beautiful. Her golden skin and chocolate hair. Fuck, she was a damn work of art herself.

  At the bottom of the drawing though, was a pair of brown boots. My boots. Between all the nature and perfection, there I was. A part of me, captured in her art. They didn’t fit in with the rest of the image, and stood out enough to almost ruin the piece. But there they were, just as they had been that day. We would always be there.

  “She wanted me to have it.” Shay’s voice crept through behind me. “You can keep it if you like. To remember her by.”

  I tore my eyes from the pages and looked over to my sister. She was leant back on the wall with her arms crossed, looking like a sympathetic know-it-all. For the first time, she felt like the older one and I the kid.

  “I miss her,” I admitted in the smallest voice I’d ever spoken. “I miss her so fucking much, Shay.”

  She rolled her eyes at me. “Then why did you let her go?”

  “She made her choice. She had her reasons.”

  “So? She stayed by your bed the whole time you were unconscious. She dragged you up a hill and got you to safety. She raised the money for the park. She looked through old photos with Mom and listened to Dad’s stupid stories. She’s crazy about you.”

  I didn’t doubt that she was. I knew Tia loved me as much as I loved her “It doesn’t change anything.”

  Shay slapped me on the arm and groaned. “Then change it yourself, dumbass. Or spend the rest of your life pining. Is that your choice, Colton?”

  No, it wasn’t.

  I respected Tia’s reasons for leaving, and I let her go. I didn’t fight her on it because I knew I wouldn’t win if I did. But Shay was right. This wasn’t my choice, and if I had any hope for it to change, I’d have to do it myself. If she still walked away then so be it. At least I could car
ry on my life knowing that I tried. It was a risk I was willing to take, and who the fuck was gonna stop me?

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Tia

  Finally, after days of sucking up, Gwen started to thaw out. My boss hadn’t been exactly pleased about my lengthy absence from work, no matter how much I explained it was to help with the loss of Lily. She’d been sympathetic for the first couple of days after her murder, but when it started to effect the gallery, she’d made her feelings clear that she had ‘ no time for dramaqueens ’. I had to come back proving myself more than ever. After the countless extra hours I had put in these past couple of weeks, she was beginning to appreciate me again.

  I had agreed to stay late to prepare for the new shipment of canvasses due to arrive in the morning. Gwen had been grateful to get the evening off. I locked the gallery doors behind her, watching her shiny, yellow cab zip off through the dark city.

  And just like that, I was alone.

  It beat being alone in my apartment though. The time away hadn’t made the place any more tolerable. I’d spent most of last week searching for a new place. My pay wasn’t good enough for anything nice. With a push, and maybe a second job, I could find something decent in Brooklyn.

  Now that I was alone, I kicked off my heels and turned on the radio to block out my thoughts. But even with the music and the city noise raging outside the glass doors, I couldn’t keep my mind clear of Colton for very long. I turned up the volume a little more, filling up the modern gallery with smooth jazz. I hated it, but if I changed the station and forgot to change it back, Gwen would slaughter me in the morning.

  I snatched the layout from her desk and the touch-up box from the bottom of the cleaning cupboard. Slipping on a white shirt over my black dress, I headed out into the echoey space letting the music fill up my mind where the work couldn’t.

  I’d always loved my job. It wasn’t painting or doing my own thing, but it was mine. I’d worked hard for this position. I was good at it. But since returning to the city, it didn’t hold up anywhere near to my time in Bluerock. Working with my young team of painters, and seeing art have a positive change on a town was incredibly rewarding.

  Back here, in one of Manhattan’s most prestigious galleries, it felt anything but rewarding. It was hollow. I helped rich people buy art that they would never truly appreciate. They would buy the biggest investment, hang it up in one of their guest rooms and ignore its point completely. It was a fruitful job and as a creator, utterly soul sucking.

  Tap. Tap. Tap

  My heart did its usual jump. I was beginning to get used to whenever there was a knock at the door. I placed the layout on the floor and walked over to the large glass doors. The air left my lungs when I recognized the figure on the doorstep. Tall, muscular, and completely out of place, standing on the night-time streets of New York.

  I crept up to the glass, unsure if I should open it to him. But those blue eyes caught mine, pleading with me. I’d drown in them for the rest of the night if I didn’t open the door.

  My hand shook as I unlocked the latch, opening it just enough to speak to him. “What are you doing here, Colton?”

  “Vacation,” he replied against the street noise. “Thought I’d see this Big Apple all my girls run away to. So far, all I’ve seen is hotdog carts and traffic. I can’t say I’m seeing much of the appeal yet.”

  And he said I had a smart-mouth.

  Colton stood there, looking down at me with that cocky smile as if he owned the whole damn island. I tried not to smile, but I couldn’t fight it. Seeing him here, all strong and confident, had my mouth turning up and my chest fluttering.

  “You gonna invite me in, beautiful, or do I have to stay out here all night?”

  I gripped the handle, allowing the pressure to steady my trembling hand. Letting him in would be the stupidest idea in the world. But I couldn’t turn him away. I knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t quit. He’d stay on the doorstep all night if he had to.

  I took a deep breath and opened the glass door wide. “Come on in.”

  He walked past me, flashing me a satisfied smirk on the way. I locked the door behind him, taking another deep breath to settle my nerves. It wasn’t easy though. Colton filled the air with his charming presence and that intoxicating scent on his skin. He smelt like Bluerock. Like home. God, how I missed it.

  Colton circled the front of the gallery, taking in the ceramic collection by the window. He didn’t limp or seem in pain at all. He looked as good as new, back on his feet after such a short amount of time. It was impressive but not surprising. His mother had already told me he didn’t let injuries hold him back in life.

  “You look good,” I managed, attempting to sound as confident as him. “Despite the whole being impaled thing, I mean.” My awkward giggle did little to prove my case. “You’re feeling good though?”

  He turned around to me and shook his head. “Not really, Tia. You left. I pretty much feel like shit.”

  Well, that makes two of us.

  “Is that why you’re here? To change my mind?”

  He looked up at the ceiling as if searching for the right words. I wanted to tell him to save his breath, but his gorgeous smile left me speechless. “I had it all figured out. What I was gonna say to you. I practised it on the plane, over and over. Seeing you now though...my mind’s gone blank. Fucking typical.”

  “Colton, I – ”

  “I love you. And I know you love me.” He stepped closer, so sure of himself despite not knowing where he was going. “That ship has fucking sailed, Tia. And we’re waving at the people on the dock. It’s done. Your plan is out of the window, and this is the path we’re on now. And I can’t change your mind. I know that. I’m not the kind of man to tell a woman what to do or think. I respect your choice. But I need you to know, that if you think were gonna live happily ever after apart from each other, then your a fucking idiot.”

  I coughed out a shocked laugh, covering my mouth. “Excuse me. You came all the way here to call me an idiot?”

  “No, but like I said I forgot the original speech. It was nicer, swoon-ier.” He waved his hand in front of him, swatting it away. “Fuck it. It wouldn’t have worked anyway, because I can’t bullshit you, Tia. You see right through the charms and the sweetness, so forget it. This is what you get instead. And yes, you are a fucking idiot, but I’m guessing you already know that. That’s why you opened the door and let me in.”

  He had me there. It was safe to say I’d been nothing short of miserable since leaving Bluerock, but I always knew I would be. Maybe he was right. I was an idiot afterall.

  “What’s the most expensive painting in this place?” I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right until he began walking up the length of the wall, checking the price tags under each canvas.

  “Why?”

  “I told Shay I’d check out how much the paintings are in Manhattan. She was curious.”

  “She knows you’re here?”

  He nodded with his back to me, examining each piece carefully. The thought of Shay stung slightly. I felt awful for leaving without saying goodbye first. I swallowed the sour taste in my mouth and led him down to the back of the gallery where the oil painting with the heaviest price tag was.

  “This one?” Colton questioned and stepped up to the painting, examining it for a moment in silence.

  I moved back, giving myself some distance to think. I wasn’t sure how this evening would play out, and I wasn’t the type to like spontaneity. I wanted to know what he was thinking. What he had planned. No one just jumped on a plane and travelled across the country to stumble through some words and hope for the best.

  “It’s ugly as shit.” He chuckled, turning around to me. “This is seriously the most expensive?”

  I couldn’t help but find his honesty amusing. He wasn’t wrong. The oil painting was far from my tastes either. “It’s by a man called Hans Vegetti. He retired last year after painting only four pieces. It’s rare. Therefore,
it’s expensive.”

  “And your job is to sell this to someone? How the hell do you do that convincingly when it looks like dog vomit?”

  I giggled back. “I’m good at my job. Besides, most people that come in here don’t care what it looks like.”

  His eyebrows drew together. “What do you mean?”

  I took a step closer to him, still staying a good foot behind. “Art is an investment. They buy pieces that are guaranteed to make a profit in the future. It doesn’t really matter if they don’t like it. It’s a small price to pay for a guarantee.”

  He turned back to the painting, taking in what I had said. “What if they see something they like better?”

  “It depends if it’s worth the risk. In this place, beauty isn’t enough. It has to be a guarantee.”

  He was quiet for a moment, then muttered out, “That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”

  I shrugged and smiled at him, even though he couldn’t see. “That’s the art world. It’s not always happy murals and sly bunny sketches.”

  “Is this where you really wanna be, Tia? Is this how you wanna live your life?”

  The question caught me off guard. I felt myself shrivel back from him, unable to respond.

  Colton turned to me, his jaw tight with severity, but his eyes were filled with sorrow. He pointed to the painting, staring me down. “This is what your future looks like, baby. Dull, ugly, lifeless, but a safe guarantee. It won’t hurt you. It won’t break you. But you’re so full of life, Tia. So bright and beautiful. If you surround yourself with this shit, you’re gonna kill that side of yourself. If that’s what you want, then I won’t stop you. It’s an investment, right?” He took a step closer to me, inches from my bare feet. “But it’s not gonna make you happy. You know that. And I can’t guarantee everything will work out with us. I can’t guarantee you’ll never get hurt.” He brought his hands to my face, stroking my cheeks with his rough thumbs. “But I can absolutely guarantee it will be beautiful, and it will make us both so fucking happy. You’ll never regret that investment, Tia. No matter what happens. I want you to be happy, baby. I can make you happy.”