Scorned by Shadows (Kissed by Shadows Series, Book 4)

by Lola StVil

  But the pain in my stomach and shoulder override the hatred and the anger, and I think the pain actually gives me some clarity. When Sadie walked out of my life, she couldn’t have known I’d end up here. She couldn’t have known she was condemning me to a fate worse than death and a life filled with misery, darkness, and evil.

  She has always maintained she thought she was doing the right thing. I still don’t think it was the right thing. Maybe it was for her, but it certainly wasn’t for me. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t forgive her though, because I believe that she genuinely thought she was doing the right thing for both of us.

  Can I really spend my whole life hating her for one mistake, even if it was a huge one? I have spent my whole life feeling like I needed a mom—and now that I have one, is it really a good idea to push her away out of sheer stubbornness?

  I look up at Atlas and the others. They’ve forgiven me for far worse. I didn’t deserve a second chance, and yet they gave me one anyway. Maybe it’s time I grew up a bit and did the same for Sadie.

  I’m not quite ready to forget, but I think I am ready to forgive. And I know for sure I’m not ready to see her die.

  “How long do we have?” I ask.

  The pain is starting to recede, and although my stomach isn’t fully healed, the bleeding has slowed to a trickle. Regal ignores my question, his hands still firmly pressed to my wound. The last trickle of blood stops flowing.

  “About three minutes. Kane, you’re physically healed, but you’re drained. I really don’t think you’re going to be able to teleport, and even if you do, you might do yourself some harm.”

  I get to my feet.

  “I have to try though. And if I do myself some harm, you can fix me once we get home,” I say.

  His expression tells me it might not be that easy, but I choose to ignore it. I try my best to teleport us home or as close as we can get, but nothing happens. Dammit. The effort sends the pain shooting through my shoulder again, and I subconsciously reach up to massage it with my fingers.

  Atlas’s face pales as she watches me. It’s killing her that she hurt me, and I stop rubbing at my shoulder. I don’t need to make her pain worse. I understand why she did what she did—I would have done the same thing as a child if I’d been able to. And I never would have believed I was lucky enough to be getting rescued.

  I don’t think I’m the only person Atlas is worried about. She would never ask me to risk hurting myself to save Sadie, but while Sadie was an awful mother to me, she was always there for Atlas when she was growing up. Like a second mother and then like an actual mother once Atlas’s own mother died. I owe it to her to at least try this. And really try it to the point where I don’t quit until I do it.

  I try again, and through sheer force of will, I do it. We arrive back at the kitchen in the loft with about twenty seconds to spare.

  “Where is she?” I blurt out to Pest.

  “I put her in one of the spare bedrooms,” he replies.

  “We have to reunite you, Sadie, and the button,” I tell Atlas as I take her by the hand and pull her towards the bedroom Pest indicates.

  She frowns. She has no idea about the button or what it’s for, but she runs with me to the bedroom. I can feel the blood coming from my stomach again, but I ignore it. Once Sadie is awake, I’ll worry about it then.

  We burst into the bedroom and run to Sadie’s side. She lies on her back, a sheet pulled up to her waist, her hands crossed neatly on her chest. Pest has sure spent some time making her comfortable. She doesn’t wake up.

  “Why isn’t she waking up, Pest? We still have about ten seconds, and they’re all together,” Langston says.

  “I don’t know. Maybe have Atlas grab her hand and put the button in her other hand,” Pest says.

  I can hear the panic lacing his voice. Atlas takes Sadie’s hand, and I reach around to my back pocket to get the button. Realization dawns on me, and I feel the world tilt a little as utter horror seizes me.

  “Guys, it’s gone. My pocket. The one with the button. It must have gotten torn off when we were fighting the guards,” I say.

  Sadie gives a little cough from the bed, and I think it’s all going to be okay. She’s going to wake up anyway. But she doesn’t. That cough is her last breath. Her chest stops moving as I watch.

  “No,” I shout. “No, this can’t be happening. Come on, Sadie. Breathe. Wake up. Don’t you dare leave me again.”

  Atlas is whispering to Sadie, begging her to be okay. Pest stands frozen in place, a haunted look in his eyes.

  Sadie is dead. And it’s all my fault.

  An hour has passed since Sadie died. Pest has been through every book he can think of, and we’ve all called everyone we know who might be able to help. And they all say the same thing—there’s nothing else we can do.

  I am trying to act normal, but I’m failing miserably. I hate that everyone heard me begging Sadie not to leave me again, but no one has commented on my outburst. And no one has pointed out the obvious—that this is all on me. They don’t need to. It’s not like I don’t know that already.

  Why the hell didn’t I leave the button here with Sadie and Pest? I was so consumed by the need to save Atlas that I just didn’t think. And then once we had the location of her, I was so disconcerted that I wasn’t thinking of anything except how I would get through it. Selfish.

  I’ve been sitting alone in the kitchen trying to process all of my thoughts as I make my calls and flick through my share of the books. No one has been in, and I think they all blame me as much as I do.

  I end the call I’m making and slam my cell phone down in disgust. Why doesn’t anyone know anything about this?

  “How are you doing, Kane?” Saudia asks me quietly, sitting down beside me.

  I didn’t even hear her come in. I shrug, faking nonchalance.

  “Fine. I’m just sad for Atlas. I mean it’s not like Sadie was any kind of mother to me, and it’s not like I’ll miss her or anything,” I say, trying to make myself sound normal.

  Saudia gives me a sad smile and squeezes my arm. She doesn’t believe that any more than I do. She gets up and heads for the door.

  “Come in here soon, okay?” she says.

  I shake my head.

  “I just need to be alone for a while,” I say.

  She smiles.

  “Yeah. Because you don’t give a shit, right?” she says with a faint smile.

  She slips back out of the kitchen, and I frown. She wasn’t acting like she thinks this is my fault. It doesn’t make it any less my fault, but it’s nice to know someone has my back.

  The door opens again, and this time Atlas stands before me. Her eyes are red and puffy, and I hate myself at that moment. She doesn’t speak; she just crosses the room and wraps her arms around me. I don’t know if she’s doing it to comfort herself or me, but either way, it feels good.

  “You’re bleeding again. You should let Regal take a look at you,” she says as she pulls away.

  I shake my head.

  “It’s only a little bit. He can take a look once we fix this,” I say.

  “I’m so sorry, Kane,” she says, looking down at the ground.

  “What are you talking about?” I say. “What do you have to be sorry for?”

  “If you didn’t have to come and rescue me, this wouldn’t have happened,” she says quietly.

  I push her chin up so she’s looking at me.

  “Hey, you listen to me. None of this is on you. This is all on me, Atlas. I’m the one who brought darkness into your life, and you were only taken to that place to send a message to me. And I’m the one who lost the button. This is all on me.”

  “Kane, this isn’t your fault. The button was lost when that guard grabbed you. It had to have been then.”

  She’s right, and suddenly I know what I have to do. I get to my feet, my uselessness and self-hatred suddenly giving way to a burning anger.

  “You’re right,” I say.

  I h
ead for the door and Atlas follows me. I leave the kitchen and storm through the living room. The team all look up from their books.

  “Kane?” Langston says.

  I ignore her, and I reach the front door.

  “Kane? What are you doing?” Atlas shouts from behind me as she hurries to catch up to me.

  “I’m going back there. I’m going to find that guard, and I’m going to make him pay for this. I’m going to make his world burn,” I say in a low, cold voice.

  “Kane, no…” Atlas starts.

  She reaches me and puts her hand on my arm. I gently remove it.

  “I’m sorry, Atlas, but it’s the only way,” I say.

  “Kane, wait,” Pest says from behind me.

  “Pest, you’re wasting your time if you think you can stop me from going after that guard,” I say.

  My patience is rapidly running out with everyone trying to save me again. Can’t they all see this time that I don’t deserve to be saved?

  “If Sadie were dead because of that guard, I wouldn’t even be trying to stop you from going after him,” Pest says. “But I don’t think it’s that. I don’t think it’s anything to do with the button.”

  The venom in his voice surprises me. He really did love Sadie. That’s not what stops me though.

  “What do you mean, Pest? What aren’t you telling me?” I say.

  “Come with me. I need you to see this. And if I’m wrong, then I won’t try to stop you from doing this. Hell, I’ll even hold Atlas so she can’t try to stop you,” he says.

  Atlas glares at him. I sigh and follow him. Atlas slips her hand into mine.

  “Guys, there’s something you need to see,” Pest says as we cross the living room.

  The team exchange looks but they all follow, and our little procession enters Sadie’s room. We all gather around Sadie, and Pest gets down on his knees and points to a spot on the carpet.

  “Look,” he says.

  There’s nothing there. This has sent him over the edge.

  “Pest—” I start in a quiet voice.

  He cuts me off.

  “Don’t talk to me like I’m an idiot, Kane. Get down here and look.”

  I glance at Atlas, and she shrugs. I guess it won’t hurt to humor him. I get down on my knees beside him and squint at where he’s pointing. I finally see it. A tiny bit of red cotton. I turn to Pest, my eyes open wide.

  “But that’s off the… That should have worked, right?” I say.

  “It should have. But it didn’t,” Pest says.

  “Look, if everyone’s going to go mad at once, can I get a memo or something? I mean I’m not saying I wouldn’t join the party, but a heads-up would have been nice,” Perry says.

  Pest sits back on his heels, and I get back to my feet, my mind whirring.

  “I thought I was going mad, that’s why I needed someone else to check. But Kane has seen it too. There’s a tiny bit of red thread down here in the carpet. Off the button. It must have been stuck on Kane’s jeans, and it fell down when he went for the button.”

  Everyone looks blankly at him.

  “Don’t you all get it? The thread was as much a part of the enchantment as the button was. Sadie should be awake now,” he explains.

  “But why…?” Regal says.

  “Because Talon fucking lied to me,” I snarl.

  I turn and head for the door again. Again, Atlas runs behind me.

  “Kane? What are you going to do?” she asks.

  I think of how close I came to killing Talon when I found out what he had done, and how much I regretted not killing him when I learned where he took Atlas. But I also think of how it was the thought of Atlas that stopped me. I can cope with pretty much any shit life throws at me. I’ve proven that. But I don’t think I can cope with the thought of losing her.

  I know then I won’t kill Talon. But I’ll do whatever I have to do to make him talk.

  “I’m going to find Talon. And I’m going to make the fucker tell me what the hell is going on here,” I say.

  Atlas looks confused. She still doesn’t know about Talon or the enchantment or any of it. But she nods her head.

  “Okay. Let’s go,” she says.

  “Atlas…” I start.

  She fixes me with a look that says I will lose this argument.

  “Fine,” I say. “But you let me do the talking, okay?”

  She nods, and I pull the door open. Where the garden should be, there is a land I don’t recognize. Before I have a chance to react, I feel a strong, sucking sensation, and I am pulled into it. I hear Atlas screaming my name, but when the door slams shut, I am alone.

  I spin around on the spot. What the fuck just happened?

  I have no idea where I am. The place I am in—that should be our garden—is a beautiful garden I suppose, but it’s not the one I should be in, and it’s not one I recognize.

  The ground is covered in a crumbly, light brown soil and through it runs a twisting pathway of concrete. The soil stretches as far as I can see in any direction. The loft is gone. The only things that break up the landscape are the odd tree and a large red barn far off in the distance.

  I start walking towards it. I don’t know why, but I can’t just stand here, and maybe whoever owns that barn has some answers about what this place is and how the fuck I get out of it.

  I walk, and the barn gets closer. It seems to be getting closer to me much faster than I am walking, as though it’s somehow coming to meet me. It sounds ridiculous, but I opened a door and ended up in a place that shouldn’t exist, so nothing is off the table.

  I reach the barn. The door stands open, and I step inside. The barn smells of hay, and I hear cows mooing. A man sits on a small stool milking one of the cows. He’s large, and his shoulders are square. He looks strong.

  “Umm hi…” I say, suddenly not sure what questions to ask.

  I mean how do you ask someone where you are and how to get back home without sounding crazy?

  The man turns at my voice. He looks around sixty. He’s good looking, and he has an air about him that doesn’t scream farmer. He has an imposing look to him, but I don’t feel threatened. He is wearing jeans and a checked shirt with a beige colored apron over the top. When the man smiles, his eyes twinkle, and it’s like I am looking at a much older version of my own. He has my eyes and my smile.

  “Ah Liam, you made it,” the man says.

  He stands up and wipes his hands down his apron and extends one to me. I ignore the hand and squint at him suspiciously.

  “How do you know my name? No one knows my name,” I say.

  “Not quite no one.” He smiles. “Atlas knows your name.”

  “Okay, Atlas and Sadie.” I frown.

  “Atlas is a special girl, wouldn’t you agree?” He smiles.

  “What do you know about Atlas? If you hurt her…”

  “Why do you always assume the worst of people? I’m not going to hurt her,” he says.

  There’s something about his calm manner I like. I can’t put my finger on what it is, but his presence is almost comforting.

  “It’s hard not to assume the worst when all your life you’ve seen how deep the evil in people really runs,” I say honestly.

  “Yes, I can understand that,” the man says.

  I ignore his cryptic comment. He’s talking like he knows me and it’s throwing me for a loop, but I have to keep him onside if I want information out of him.

  “Look, I know this is going to sound crazy, but can you tell me where I am?”

  “That’s not important. What’s important is that you can still save Sadie. Assuming you want to of course.”

  My suspicions are rising by the second. This has to be some sort of a trap, but what if he’s speaking the truth and I can really save her? It can’t hurt to hear him out I guess. I raise an eyebrow.

  “And what do you know about Sadie?” I demand.

  “You still don’t know who I am, do you?” the man asks.

  A
hurt look crosses his face as I shake my head and shrug my shoulders apologetically.

  “I’m your father, Liam.”

  My father?

  “You’re Nyten,” I say.

  It’s not a question, it’s a statement, but Nyten nods anyway.

  “I have nothing to say to you,” I tell him, trying to walk away.

  “Well, then don’t say anything, just listen,” he shouts.

  Nyten steps out of the barn, but he makes no move to follow me any further.

  “Are you really going to let Sadie die because you’re too damn stubborn to hear me out?” he shouts.

  I stop dead. Am I? I’m far from ready to play happy families with Nyten. I mean, Sadie didn’t know where I was all those years, but Nyten is an actual god. He knew. He knew, and he left me there. But would it really kill me to hear him out if it means I can save Sadie’s life?

  I was on the verge of being ready to forgive when I was lying in the street outside of the Meat Market. And when I learned she wouldn’t wake up, I was gutted. I didn’t get a chance to tell her that. I can’t walk away from the chance to undo it all.

  I turn back and walk back into the barn. Nyten follows me back in.

  “Before we get started, let’s see about fixing that hole huh? It looks nasty.”

  I don’t have time to reply. He lays a hand on my shoulder and just like that the wound in my stomach is gone and the residual pain in my shoulder is gone too. Nyten nods his approval and removes his hand. He sits back down on his stool. He motions towards an upturned crate, and I sit down too.

  “Talon lied to me. He told me he used a Damler mask enchantment to hide Atlas from me. We got the Black Unicorn hair, and Sadie did the spell. We were back in time, and we had the object and person she’d sought out, and it didn’t work. She died anyway. How do I undo that?”

  “Actually, Talon didn’t lie to you. He did use a Damler mask,” Nyten says. “And you did correctly undo the spell. Sadie was pulled from the coma.”

  I shake my head, but before I can argue, he goes on.

  “Did she make any sounds or movements when you were waiting for her to wake up?”