All-Nighters

by Meredith Taylor

  Martin pouted his lips and moved in closer to Jesse, putting his arm around Jesse’s shoulder. “I know I hurt you, sweetness. That’s why I just want us to put it all behind us. Why don’t you stay here tonight and we can see if we can reclaim what we once had? I know you’re feeling it, too. I could see it in your eyes as you walked in the room. You miss me too. You want to say yes, don’t you?”

  Jesse felt his own confidence rising, and he pulled slightly away from Martin: “It seems awfully convenient that you only start thinking about me again after a guy treats you poorly and breaks up with you. Am I just the rebound for you? Is this just a game you’re playing with me?” Jesse furrowed his brow and tried to create some distance with Martin.

  “You’re right,” Martin said, “it has been a tough few weeks. But let me prove to you that this is real.” Martin leaned in and kissed Jesse. Jesse felt his body tense up. There were those familiar lips again. Martin’s soft lips caressed Jesse’s, removing any resistance that Jesse had wanted to put up. When Martin broke the kiss, he flashed Jesse a satisfied smile. “Just think about it, okay?” he asked. “I’ll be here once you decide.”

  Jesse shrugged his shoulders. “I just don’t know, Martin,” he said in a soft voice.

  Martin sat back, a slight frown breaking over his brow. His voice was sharper: “I mean, have you even been dating? I don’t even think you’re made for dating, Jesse. You know that I was always willing to put up with your quirks, but other guys can be brutal. Like your weird little stutter when you get nervous. Other guys might find it off-putting, but I always found it kind of cute. Most of the time.” Martin laughed, and Jesse noticed a hollowness in his eyes. “Stay the night, Jesse. We can talk about everything a bit more in the morning,” Martin said as he held Jesse’s hand.

  Jesse stood up, feeling the immediate impulse to get away as quickly as he could. “I have to go, Martin. I’m sorry.” He saw Phillip’s annoyed expression again saying, Don’t apologize! “I have a big assignment coming up that I need to study for so I can’t stay here. I promise I’ll talk to you soon.”

  Jesse rushed out of the room, barely registering his thoughts as he made a desperate dash to get away from Martin before he lost all self-control and allowed himself to spend the night.

  Chapter 10

  It was almost 1 am when Jesse got back to his flat. He paced back and forth across the small living room area, feeling close to tears but not exactly sure why. The way Martin had spoken to him had made him feel a flood of emotions that he hadn’t felt in a long time. There was the intense attraction to Martin, the way that Jesse hung on his every word and couldn’t get enough of being around him. Jesse remembered that there were days when he thought that Martin was beyond perfection, shamefully even after they had broken up. But then there was also the subtle way that Martin made Jesse feel like he was completely worthless, the scum of the earth. It wasn’t even that Martin was particularly mean towards Jesse. There was just something intangible in the way Martin spoke to him that made Jesse sink into a ball of Play-Doh that Martin could manipulate at will. It was infuriating.

  Scampers was following Jesse’s every move with his eyes as Jesse marched across the living room, up and down. He had a quizzical look on his face, his black and white shaggy hair swaying as his head moved from side to side. Jesse noticed him and began to smile: “You’re right, Scamp,” Jesse said, “we should just forget about him for now. There’s no hope of studying anyway and I’m so charged up I won’t be able to sleep for hours. That coffee wasn’t a good idea either.” Scampers bent his head down as if nodding in agreement, and walked over to where Jesse should, pulling at his pant leg. “You think a walk would be a good idea, don’t you?” Jesse asked him, and Scampers immediately lit up and started wagging his tail. Jesse walked to the kitchen to get the dog’s harness and leash and had to fight to calm Scampers down enough to get the harness on his body. “There we go, boy. Let’s walk off some of this energy.” Jesse grabbed his thick coat and scarf from where he had tossed them on the couch, and led Scampers out of the flat while he put on the extra reinforcements against the cold.

  They wouldn’t be able to go into the hiking path in the middle of the night; it was much too dangerous. Jesse would simply have to walk along the edge of campus, next to Villier Street and towards Donovan Square where there would be enough campus security guards to keep them safe. They began down the path, Scampers trotting happily in front of Jesse, ever obedient and jovial. “You always know how to make me feel better, Scamp,” Jesse said to him with a smile. Scampers looked back through his mane of shaggy hair and gave the canine equivalent of a smile back at Jesse.

  The path along the edge of campus was well lit and each lamp post had an emergency button, clearly marked in red. Ridgemont took security very seriously, and students who walked home after a night of partying could feel safe in the knowledge that guards would be stationed all along the route towards Elizabeth Street, where most of the student residences were. A shuttle drove down the road every twenty minutes offering rides to any students who happened to be walking around campus on their own, and Jesse had often taken the shuttle back to his flat on nights when he lost track of time while studying or working in the computer labs. Jesse loved Ridgemont campus at night; the streets were quiet unless you were close to the pubs or wandered into Villier Street. Campus was washed in yellow light, and the regal old buildings were incredible to observe in the still of night. His favorite sight was the amphitheater just off Donavan Square, where he had once seen Martin perform a rather scenery-chewing rendition of Hamlet. Jesse loved being a student at Ridgemont, and he hoped that he was accepted for graduate school so that he could stick around; the only other worthwhile postgraduate options were in other provinces. He needed to knock Professor Ndlovu’s assignment out of the park, and to do that he needed to get over his annoyance with Luke Brennan.

  Ah, Luke Brennan. Just like so many times over the past few days, Jesse’s mind had inevitably drifted back to Luke. What was it about that arrogant, pompous, shallow guy that made Jesse so upset after their failed rendezvous? Thinking of Luke made Martin seem like a viable option in comparison. At least with Martin, Jesse knew exactly what he was getting. Luke was so hot and cold that even just being around him, like Jesse had to be in Prof. Ndlovu’s class, made Jesse’s blood boil. Jesse had really loved Martin, or at least he thought he had, while they were together. There was a part of Jesse that had really thought it was possible to have that same bond, or even something stronger, with Luke. There was something about Luke that had caught Jesse completely unawares.

  As Jesse was deep in thought admiring Ridgemont University’s impressive sights, Scampers suddenly stood dead still in front of him, nearly causing Jesse to tumble over his dog. Jesse recovered and demanded: “What’s going on, Scamp? Did something spook you? Are you okay?”

  Scampers didn’t look at Jesse. His tail stood completely upright and his eyes were trained on the path in front of him. Something was up. Jesse began to walk closer to Scampers to investigate, but in the second that he had moved, Scampers had tugged so tightly forward that he ripped the leash from Jesse’s hand and was off down the path. Scampers rushed ahead as fast as Jesse had ever seen him move, and Jesse was left with his mouth agape and his eyes wide. “Scampers! Where are you going?” Jesse shouted out as he ran after the shaggy dog. Scampers was undeterred. He pushed on down the path and away from Jesse at lightning speed. Jesse noticed an upcoming bend in the road and began to panic. If he lost Scampers around the bend there would be no telling how far he could get before Jesse caught up with him, and he might find himself running over a street as cars approached. Jesse pushed himself forward as fast as his legs could carry him, his scarf flailing behind him and the sound of wind whooshing past his ears. He squinted his eyes against the force of the wind and in an effort not to lose sight of his dog. Suddenly, just as Scampers approached the bend in the road, he turned sharply, not around the bend but into the bushes
lining the street. What was he doing? Jesse reasoned that he must have been chasing a squirrel or some other small animal, but Jesse hadn’t seen anything. He raced to catch up with Scampers, and luckily the dog was not running anymore. Instead, he was staying put next to the bushes at the side of the road. Jesse finally caught up with him, heaving heavily from the strain of chasing after the surprisingly athletic dog. “What are you doing, Scamp? You’ve never run away from me like that before? What are you sniffing at?”

  Jesse saw what Scampers had sprinted to find, and all of the blood suddenly drained from his face. He could hardly breathe. There, in the bushes, was the pale, seemingly lifeless body of Luke Brennan.

  Jesse’s mind raced at a mile a minute. “Luke!” he screamed, and he bent down to turn over the limp body of his classmate. “Luke, speak to me! Don’t be dead, please! Please!” Panic and complete shock were making it hard for Jesse to even speak. His voice was breaking and he knew that he was close to tears. He held up Luke’s head and saw that his eyes were closed. He could smell alcohol on Luke. Had he drunk himself to death on the side of the road? Was he really that reckless and idiotic? Jesse was suddenly angry at Luke, but he continued to observe him. Luke’s cheeks were completely cold, and Jesse felt his neck for a pulse. His heart was still beating strongly, but he must’ve been out in the cold for a long time for his temperature to have dropped that much. Luke was just hidden away enough in the bushes for security to miss him, Jesse thought.

  “Thank God you’re alive,” Jesse let out, holding Luke’s head with his hand while stroking his cheek with his thumb. “We need to get you some help.” Jesse yelled out for security, and he could hear approaching feet as Luke slowly opened his eyes.

  Luke’s groggy voice greeted Jesse: “Hey there. What are you doing here?”

  “What am I doing here?” Jesse demanded loudly. “I should be asking you that question. Did you pass out in the bushes? Must’ve been at Hunters walking back to campus, right? How could you be so irresponsible? At least take a cab home. What were you thinking?”

  Luke frowned, hardly awake and facing the barrage of questions, and Jesse felt embarrassed that he was shouting at Luke after such an ordeal. “I’m sorry,” Jesse said when he managed to calm down. “I just got the biggest fright of my life finding you here. Security is on the way. They’ll get you to a doctor.”

  “I don’t need a doctor, Jesse,” Luke said, sitting up by himself. His eyes were barely open but he seemed to be regaining color rapidly. “Just get me home, please. I don’t know what happened. I hardly had anything to drink. I must just be overtired from studying.”

  Luke held out his arm for Jesse to help him up. Scampers had come over and was licking Luke’s face furiously, and Luke tolerated it while squinting his eyes. Jesse got up and pulled Luke to his feet just as campus security approached.

  “What happened? Was he attacked?” the tall security guard asked. He was on his radio calling for backup, but Luke waved him down.

  Luke’s voice was hoarse and quiet when it came, “I’m sorry, sir. It’s my fault, but there’s nothing to worry about. I’m actually quite embarrassed about it. I was out dancing and must have just had a few too many drinks. My friend here was just helping me home.” Luke turned to Jesse, his eyes begging Jesse to confirm the story.

  Jesse was torn. Luke clearly didn’t look well, but he didn’t look particularly drunk either. Perhaps he needed to see a doctor. Passing out on the side of the street isn’t just something to shrug off. But Luke seemed determined not to go with the security guard, so Jesse simply added: “I’ll make sure he gets home safely, sir.”

  The security guard responded in Afrikaans, telling them to be more careful and scolding them for wasting his time. He walked down the street as Jesse stood next to Luke, stabilizing him on his feet, and they began walking towards Donovan Square.

  “You don’t really have to take me home. I should be able to walk. I’m feeling a lot better,” Luke said, embarrassment written all over his face. His eyes were bloodshot, the red in striking contrast to the ice-blue irises.

  “I’m not leaving you, Luke,” Jesse said, tying Scampers’s leash around his arm as he steadied Luke with both hands and they hobbled towards his flat. “I need to make sure you get home safe after the fright you just gave me.” They pushed through the cold night, Jesse straightening Luke’s jacket, feeling immense relief that Luke seemed to be okay.

  Chapter 11

  They walked inside of Luke’s flat, Jesse’s arm still around his waist and Luke’s arm around Jesse’s shoulder. Scampers walked in ahead of them, scouting the unfamiliar surroundings and sniffing at the uneaten slice of pizza on Luke’s coffee table. “I can get you to bed if you’re not feeling strong enough to walk yet,” Jesse said, turning to face Luke as their bodies pressed together. Luke’s eyes were still half-closed and Jesse figured that he might not have been strong enough to get around by himself. “You really should see a doctor. If you really only had two drinks you shouldn’t be in this shape. Let me call someone for you now. Maybe we can get campus emergency services to come out here and check up on you.”

  Luke lifted himself away from Jesse, dropping the arm around Jesse’s shoulder and trying to steady himself on his own feet. “I’m really fine. See? I can walk myself.” Luke was still hobbling and looked unsteady, but he made his way to the couch. Scampers had finished the slice of pizza by the time Luke and Jesse had even noticed him, and Jesse said to him: “Scamp! You can’t go into strange people’s homes and eat their food like that!” Scampers tilted his head sideways as he sat on the rug in the middle of the room, staring at Jesse. Jesse turned to Luke sitting on the couch. He looked much better than before, but Jesse still replayed the memory of finding him there at the side of the street, seemingly lifeless. He had never had such a big fright in his life, and was ready to burst into tears just before he saw Luke’s eyes stirring. Seeing Luke sitting in front of him, very much alive, looking handsome as ever, was almost overwhelming for Jesse. He felt extremely protective over Luke then, like he couldn’t let Luke out of his sight for fear that something might happen to him. Luke’s usually perfectly styled hair was disheveled and Jesse could see a twig still sticking out from it. Luke’s jacket had a smear of mud along the elbow. “I know we should be going. But I need to make sure you’re all right before I get out of here. I need to know that there’s someone to look after you and to get you to a doctor in the morning. Is there anyone I can call for you?” Jesse walked over to where Luke was sitting and almost without thinking he took the twig out of Luke’s hair and straightened it with his palm. He realized what he was doing and felt his heart skip a beat in embarrassment. “Sorry, you just had something in your hair. I w-w-wanted to… S-sorry,” Jesse said, as he sat down on the couch across from Luke.

  “Thanks, Jesse. Thanks for everything. I’m glad my wallet and phone were still in my pockets when I came to. And I’m glad that you came all the way out here with me. Especially after the way I treated you before.” Luke’s face was filled with genuine remorse. Jesse saw a tenderness in Luke’s eyes that melted his heart.

  Jesse shook his head and responded bitingly: “I thought you didn’t even know that you had hurt me, that it was all just a hookup to you and I was making too much of it. That’s how you acted, anyway. Like it was all just fun and games for you and it was okay to just let me know I would be discarded afterwards.” As soon as the words came out of his mouth he regretted them. This was no time to confront Luke. He had been through an ordeal and needed to be supported, not scolded.

  Luke’s eyes sunk to the floor and he rubbed his hands over his knees: “I knew what I was doing, Jesse. I just realized that things were moving too fast and I wanted to pull the breaks. I could have gone about it a lot better. I’m really sorry.” Luke looked up at him with a pained expression. “I don’t have a lot to give to a guy. Not at this point in my life. And you deserve so much more. You’re an amazing guy, Jesse. I just didn’t want to be t
he jerk who promised more than I could deliver. I hope you can understand.”

  Jesse wanted to go over and hug him. He felt the same feelings welling up in him again that he had felt for Luke on their first night together in Luke’s flat. Jesse could see the vulnerability in Luke’s eyes. Of course his anger at Luke was mostly due to the fact that Jesse liked him so much. But he had to stop himself. Luke had made it crystal clear that nothing could happen between them. Jesse had to find a way to turn his feelings off.

  Jesse looked down at Scampers, who had crawled up at Luke’s feet and was sleeping there. “He really seems to like you a lot. He doesn’t really take to people easily. He hardly even tolerated Phillip for the first year of us being friends. I wonder how he knew to run to you at the side of the road. He’s never done anything like that before.”

  Scampers nuzzled his nose into Luke’s leg, and Luke bent down to stroke Scampers’s fur. “He really does seem to be comfortable with me, doesn’t he? I love bearded collies. I used to have one as a kid. I guess dogs just recognize quality when they see it, eh?” Luke smiled up at Jesse, the glint returning to his eye.

  Jesse giggled, “Let’s not get carried away,” he said. Scampers suddenly stood up and jumped onto Luke’s lap, making Luke recoil in surprise.

  “Woah there!” Luke said, and Scampers started licking him in his face. “You really like me, don’t you, boy?” Scampers nuzzled his furry face into Luke’s neck and lifted his paw to Luke’s shoulder in what resembled a hug.

  Jesse practically gasped in disbelief. “Scampers! Where is this coming from?” he asked, but Scampers didn’t move from Luke’s neck. Luke hugged the dog and scratched the fur on Scampers’s back.