Distance of the Heart

by Agnes H Hagadus

  It was more words than Emily had heard her brother say in quite some time. “If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll get settled back in. I wish it were for longer than the weekend.” As she had a hand on the kitchen door to allow it to swing open, she turned around and looked Melissa directly in the eyes. “I hope you know we both appreciate this. And all that you do.”

  Emily didn’t wait for a response. She knew after the surprise they had arranged to show their appreciation, none of them had to say it. But life was too short. Life was fleeting. It was one of the many lessons she had learned over the years, but especially recently. The therapist hesitated outside of Tabby and Nicky’s door.

  Part of her wanted to knock. Part of her wanted to give the presents right away. But Emily needed a moment to compose herself. She made her way to her own room, shutting it quietly behind her. It didn’t take long for her to place her things away. She took a moment to freshen up.

  It was time. There was no reason for stalling. Emily stared at herself in the mirror for the longest of moments. It was time to attempt to repair some of the damage all the distance had made to her relationship with Tabby, but also with Nicky. She took a deep breath before making her way to the room down the hall.

  Her hand was raised to knock when the door opened. Tabby was standing there, looking a little haggard. Immediately Emily reached out her free hand and gently placed it on her soulmate’s cheek. It was the greatest feeling when Tabby didn’t pull away from the touch. In fact, the nurse leaned into the touch, causing Emily’s heart to soar, at least momentarily.

  “Momma?” The voice interrupted the moment. Emerald eyes closed tightly. “Who’s out there with you?” Tabby sighed. She knew her son was not going to be happy with the fact Emily was standing there. But she was. And she wanted Nicky to begin accepting the fact it was most likely going to be them together. Tabby moved so that he could see who was standing there. “Oh, it’s you. At least it’s not her.”

  They had spoken only briefly the evening prior. Tabby had mentioned her ex being in Middletown as had Emily mentioned a little about Lena. But they needed to discuss things more in dept. The question was, would they be allowed to? “I’m sorry you don’t want to see me. I heard you weren’t feeling well. I decided to get you something.”

  Emily cautiously made her way to the bed. She handed the young boy the present. It wasn’t anything spectacular. “I also have something I’m going to leave for you when I have to leave.” It must have been the wrong thing to say. Nicky shoved the present to the floor. “I want to be here more than anything for your birthday. Please, you have to…”

  “Get out!” Emily was surprised by the force of the words. It was obvious this boy was not sick at all. No one who was sick could muster that kind of enthusiasm. Not that the therapist could blame him. His biggest fear was once again allowing his heart to be hurt. That wasn’t true. His biggest fear was allowing his mother to be hurt on his watch.

  “I hope you change your mind. I hope you’ll open the present. It’s for both you and your mother.” Emily attempted to touch the young boy who rolled away from her. Tears were slowly trickling down the therapist’s face as she slowly made her way from the room. She made it to her room before leaning her head against the door.

  “I’m sorry.” Tabby didn’t even think about it. She wrapped her arms around her soulmate. They stood like that for what seemed like forever. “Obviously seeing Helen has taken its toll on him, more than I thought. I’m sorry I didn’t prepare you for how bad it really is for Nicky. It’s not you. It’s how I’ve reacted. It’s the memories. It’s…

  Emily turned around in the loose grasp her soulmate had on her. Without thought, she leaned down and kissed Tabby. It wasn’t overpowering. It wasn’t with possession. It was a sweet, gentle kiss that conveyed all of her feelings. And what were they? Love, understanding and patience. The last one was going to be difficult to live up to.

  But she would do whatever it took to convince both Tabby and Nicky that she would do what she had to be with them. It would have to be eventually. It would have to be after things were settled with her parents. Emily didn’t wish death on anyone, even if it allowed them to escape pain. But she truly wished someone else was handling her parents’ affairs.

  “We need to discuss things.” Emily stared into her soulmate’s eyes. “We need to do this before I go back. But I also don’t want to push or rush Nicky.” She placed a hand on her girlfriend’s cheek. “I promise. I’m not going anywhere. Even if I’m not physically here, I’m not going anywhere. Now go. Be with our son. I love you.”

  “And I love you.” Tabby was the one that closed the distance between them. There was a little more passion. A promise for another time. There were many things they needed to discuss. They needed to give themselves time to deal with stalkers, exes and the past. In other words, they needed to deal with the past and the present before they could move on to the future.

  “I’ll let you know if I can get away. If not, we’ll find time to video chat while you are in California. I promise that I’m not going anywhere. Even though I’ll be waiting impatiently until we can be together.” One last lingering kiss was shared before Tabby slowly made her way back to the room she shared with her son. She knew it was going to be a struggle to convince Nicky that Emily was true and nothing like Helen.

  The clapping of the hands caught Emily off guard. She turned to see someone she would term as statuesque. She had to admit the woman wasn’t bad looking. But the stranger had nothing on her Tabby. It wasn’t because of her physical looks. It was because of what was reflected in the cold eyes.

  “You handled her like a pro.” The woman came closer to Emily. It was difficult not to flinch as the gaze bore into her. If looks could kill, the therapist knew she would be dead. But she didn’t care. Without being told, she knew who this was. “It’s no wonder I can’t even get close to her to explain my side of things. Why I stayed away so long.”

  “And sometimes there is no explanation. Or at least not one that can beg forgiveness for.” Emily absently wiped her tear stained face. While the tears had dried, she could still feel where they had left steaks upon her cheeks. “I suggest you make peace with yourself before you attempt to make peace with those you’ve wronged. Or ones you want to start over with.”

  “You sound like a therapist.” Helen stood even taller. She had an inch or so on Emily. It wasn’t enough to intimidate. It was something the therapist would teach her enemy. The things Emily had faced in life already meant very little could intimidate her.

  And that knowledge was power. While she didn’t know much personally about the woman standing before her, Emily had learned quite a bit about women like her. Partially it was her experience in life. Partially it was her training as a therapist. But mostly it was because she had heard enough from Tabby about her. Not everything, but enough to know.

  “As a matter of fact, I’m a nurse and a therapist.” Emily took a few dangerous steps toward the stranger. “And I know, just by how you are holding yourself, exactly what kind of person you are. By the way you applauded and told me how well I handled her.” They were now standing within inches of one another. “To me, it takes a manipulating bitch to think the way I was being honest with my girlfriend as being handled.”

  The slap was sudden, but it wasn’t unexpected. Emily knew the kind. She didn’t give Helen the satisfaction of holding her cheek, even though it hurt a great deal. There was a small trickle of blood from the corner of her mouth. She would deal with it later. It was now time to take out the trash.

  “And now you stoop to violence. To hurting someone since your words apparently weren’t enough.” Emily stood tall. She wanted to slap Helen back. She wanted to stand closer to her. But she also knew there was a chance Tabby or Nicky could hear the raised voices. Either one could make their way to the hallway. She wanted to set an example.

  Even more than that, Emily remembered the words not long ago that Adam had spoken to a bul
ly. If she couldn’t do any better than an eleven-year-old, what kind of a person was she? “I want you to know something. You wronged Tabby. You wronged Nicky. But worst of all, because of you, two soulmates are being kept apart.”

  There was fire burning in Helen’s eyes. Her hands were balled into fists. “And you’ve ended up all alone.” Emily finally did take a cautious step towards her quarry. “And that’s the saddest thing of all. You’ve pushed everyone that ever meant anything to you away. So while I’ll live happily ever after one day, you’ll be alone and hating everything and everyone.”

  The fist missed its target and imbedded in the wall. Helen attempted to dislodge her fist, but it was stuck. She attempted relaxing it. Still her hand was stuck in the wall. The noise brought Tabby from her room. “And now you owe Melissa repairs to the wall. I hope you have a pleasant rest of your stay.”

  Emily didn’t wait for a response. Instead, she made her way to Tabby. “I’m off to get Melissa or Jarod. It seems there’s a maintenance issue that needs tending to.” The therapist winked at her soulmate. She was stopped for a moment. Tabby reached up and gently wiped the already drying blood from her lip.

  “It’s nothing.” Emily took Tabby’s hand and kissed the back of it. “Really. The wall received the worst of it. And it can be repaired easier than my face could be.” She heard the continued struggles. “Go and be with Nicky. Keep the door locked until you hear from Melissa or Jarod. I’ll be fine. I’m going to see where my brother is. If only to give you and Nicky more time.”

  “Thank you.” Tabby could hear the curse words start. She looked directly at Helen and shook her head. “If I ever had any doubts whether you and I could have been a couple, you just made up my mind for me.” She turned to look into azure eyes. “And to let you know, the only doubt I have about us is my own shortcomings and sadly if Nicky will ever accept us together.”

  “I know. And I fully agree. My feelings are secondary.” Emily smiled in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. “As I said before I was so rudely attacked, I’ll wait a lifetime or two for you.” Emily once again kissed her soulmate. The curses becoming louder and louder. It was soon to draw Nicky’s attention.

  “You might get to the next lifetime sooner than you think.” Both women turned to face a wild-eyed Helen. There were noises behind them, but they were coming from the landing. Jarod was practically running up the steps. He stopped just in time to hear what was said next. “You might want to be both tested. I assume neither of you used protection.”

  There was a look upon Helen’s face. It was one of victory. It was one of pure evil. Tabby collapsed against her soulmate as Jarod made his way by. Carefully he extricated the woman’s hand from the wall. He was careful when he noticed the blood dripping from the knuckles. It could be Helen was telling the truth. Or she could be lying to harm Tabby.

  “I’m not lying.” Helen maintained her distance. She’d been around the bed and breakfast enough to know that Jarod was a retired cop and not one to be messed with. But she still could get in a few extra jabs before she was most likely escorted permanently from the premises. “I’m HIV positive. And I have been since before we were living together. You might want to have Nicky tested as well. After all, I took care of him when he was sick.”

  Emily had to restrain her soulmate. Not that she could blame her. Jarod escorted Helen to her room. Emily held onto her girlfriend even tighter. Now she loathed leaving on Monday even more. They could go to the clinic now and be tested. But the results might not be in before she was to return to California.

  In that moment, Emily hated three people more than she thought she ever could. She hated her mother, father and Helen. Her parents for keeping her away from the woman she loved and who needed her more than words could say. She hated Helen for even attempting to come between them.

  The way Tabby was crying so hard she was convulsing, Emily knew without a doubt. If they discovered they were HIV positive, she would continue to hate her. But if she ever discovered Helen had lied about the fact she had tested positive, there was no force on earth that could keep her from punishing the woman.

  And by punishing, it meant that Emily would easily kill the bitch. She would strangle her. No, that was too good for her. The perfect punishment would be to string the bitch up from her toe nails. Or stake her to an ant hill. Or perhaps cover her with honey and allow the bees to have at her.

  Whatever form of punishment she could come up with, Emily knew it would be too good for the bitch. And yet if she did nothing, Helen would get hers in the end. After all, the old saying is, karma is a bitch. And when karmas on the warpath, everyone better watch out.

  Chapter 5

  Emily was glad in one-way HIV tests were now nearly instantaneous, especially when compared to just a short time ago when they could take days to receive the results. Even now, there could be a false positive, meaning the tests would have to be sent for further testing.

  The real issue wasn’t worrying whether she had HIV or not. While the treatments could be expensive, there were so many new medicines over the past decades. Those living with HIV hadn’t received an immediate death sentence as it once had been. It was the fact little Nicky could have contracted the disease.

  And what was worse, Helen had known. The minute she and Tabby had become intimate, the nurse should have been informed. Would she have continued with the relationship? It was something Emily couldn’t answer. It was something she knew the answer to if now either one of them was positive.

  There was no way Emily was leaving her soulmate. In fact, she would endeavor to grow her client’s list. Or she would back off her client’s list. Whatever it took. If Tabby and Nicky needed her to support them financially, that’s what she would do. If they needed emotional support even greater, that was what she would do.

  It would mean being exhausted most of the time. It meant being emotionally drained. But the two people who meant the world to her would be taken care of. She couldn’t, nor wouldn’t, do any less. Emily took a sip of her coffee. She was sat in the empty playground at the school. She was waiting for Tabby and Nicky hopefully to arrive.

  While Emily and Tabby needed to discuss all the ramifications of everything that had been happening in the recent and distant past, they needed time as a family. That was if Nicky would allow it. Even at dinner the previous evening, the young boy would not have anything to do with his former friend.

  It had hurt. But Emily couldn’t blame him. Once burned caused one to be gun shy. Twice burned caused one to erect barriers so that one could not be harmed. And when you were such a youth, there were not many ways known to someone of his age to deal with emotional pain and traumas.

  There weren’t that many ways known to adults to deal with them, either. If people were better equipped to handle emotional hurts, the road wouldn’t be littered with broken hearts. There wouldn’t be so many divorce lawyers who were wealthy beyond compare. There wouldn’t be…

  Emily sighed at the thoughts. So negative. She couldn’t help them. It wasn’t only waiting for the results of the tests. It was everything. At one time, she had been this carefree young woman. At one time, she had never thought that she would find a soulmate.

  Then Simon had happened. Then Anthony Denardo had happened. Watching Abby struggle had happened. And yet, there were other examples of those who simply got it right. There were the Walker brothers. A few bumps, but overall quite happy. There was Melissa and Jarod. Same thing as her sons. Sierra and Desiree were still together, even if distanced at the moment. So why couldn’t it happen for them?

  The therapist stood quickly when she noticed a familiar figure walking with someone she thought she’d seen around Middletown. Emily’s coffee and breakfast basket were left on the pirate ship she had chosen to sit on and wait for Tabby and Nicky. She hoped they wouldn’t think they had been abandoned and would understand.

  When Emily noticed her brother’s hand was brushing against the stranger’s, she pulled out her cellphone.
The pictures she managed weren’t the clearest, but she hoped that Sam or one of the other amazing investigators would be able to do something with them. And would discover the man’s identity.

  Emily could just ask her brother who the man was. But something told her Rick was having issues. Not just the issues she had briefly heard about. The fact their parents didn’t trust in him to handle their affairs now. Or the fact he had a job in name only. It was no wonder he was floundering in life. And if he was dealing with issues she had only discovered a short time ago…

  Before she was discovered, Emily made her way back to the pirate ship. Waiting for her was Tabby. The therapist sighed heavily as she knew what that meant. Nicky had chosen to either stay alone at the bed and breakfast or join the Walker children. Either way, it was still in defeat that she made her way back to where her soulmate stood waiting for her.

  Tabby’s appearance was both breathtaking and telling. While she was dressed in causal cotton slacks and a soft button up shirt, the colors made her…Emily never would have thought that grey on anyone could look so inviting. But on her soulmate, it brought out her eyes. In bringing out the eyes, the dark circles underneath were highlighted.

  As she kept an even stride, Emily knew her soulmate wasn’t the only one with a telling look. Sleep had eluded her once again. It wasn’t the distance between herself and Nicky, though that was a huge part of it. What had kept her up a majority of the night was worrying about the tests the three of them had required. All because of a hateful, vindictive bitch.

  It wasn’t the results that had Emily worried. Tabby offered the coffee she had bought special for her soulmate. The therapist smiled shyly as she took it, feeling almost like a teenager with her first crush. What was worrying her was the ‘what ifs’.

  What if one or all of them was positive. What kind of life would it allow for them to lead? What if they were negative? Had Helen lied? Had she simply said something so heinous to attempt to punish her ex and her new girlfriend? Emily normally wasn’t a vindictive person.