by LJ Swallow
Stepping back, I look to Ash. “There’s a shifter in there. Go talk to him and look out for the nurse.”
Ash ducks his head around the corner. “Jesse? He’s a mate of Clive’s, not mine.”
Hell, Ash would never make a good detective. “Distract the nurse, Ash. I need to look into the nurses' room.”
I point at the empty room barely large enough for the sturdy wooden desk, chair, and metal filing cabinet.
"Fine."
Ash rubs his eyes and walks around the corner. I shut the door between the infirmary and academy hallway with a soft click and take one last look around the corner to the beds before sidling into the nurses' room. My pulse picks up at the worry someone will catch me looking at things I shouldn’t, but I’m beyond caring about trouble.
I glance around and I’m about to pull open the cabinet when I see manila folders in a tray on the desk. Ash speaks nearby and I hear another male voice. No nurse yet. Grabbing the pile of folders, I flick through for their names.
Yvette Seacrest
Kimberly Campbell
Cody Richards
Jesse Harding
Hand shaking, I pull out my phone and take quick photos of the A4 sheet inside each folder marked with the witches' names. I don’t have time to read this now. A female voice joins Ash’s and the other guy’s outside the room, and I fly into panic as I gather the folders together again. One slips from my hand and I swear as I crouch down to pick it up.
The name on the top right corner is familiar.
My heart skips a beat. Unsure if I have long enough to take another photo, I shove the folder into my blazer and stand. Quickly stepping out the room, I stand with my arms hugged to my chest, breath rushing out when I can't see anybody outside. Come on, Ash.
The grey-haired, middle-aged nurse appears around the corner and halts when she sees me. “Jamie. Is everything alright? I haven’t seen you since I attended to your dressing. Is there a problem?”
I moisten my lips and she frowns. “If you’re here to see the Walcott patients, they’re not permitted visitors.”
“Oh. Uh. No. Do you have any—" I grasp for words. “Healing Balm. The wound is a bit itchy.”
“Let me take a look.” As the nurse steps forward and gently touches my neck with her warm fingers, Ash appears from around the corner. “That’s healed nicely, but if you need the balm, I’ll fetch you some.”
I thank her as she walks away and Ash steps towards me. “Something is wrong with Jesse too.”
I groan. “Don’t say that. More mental damage?”
“Nah. He’s gashed his leg badly, but that’s not what’s wrong.” Ash points to his face. “He isn’t wearing his glasses and he said hello to me before I reached him.”
“You’re distinctive, Ash.”
“Nah, the guy can’t see further than the end of his nose. Serious. Besides, he—“
“Here you go, Jamie.” The nurse hands me a small metal pot. “That should last a few days. If you’re still having problems at the weekend, pop back up.” The folder slips slightly beneath my jacket and I grip tighter. “Are you sure there’s nothing else?”
“No. I’m good. Thanks for this.” I lift up the pot and the bloody file slips again.
Ash gives me a weird look and takes my arm. “Thanks for letting me visit, Jesse,” he says to the nurse as he escorts me from the infirmary.
I take a deep breath of fresh air as Ash scowls at me. “What the hell was all that about?”
“Come here.” I move along the hallway and turn my back before unbuttoning my blazer. “I found this.”
Ash takes the folder from me, face becoming more perturbed by the moment. “What the fuck? We can’t look at this here.”
I read the name again.
April Hart.
Chapter Thirty-Two
MAEVE
I’m terrified for Andrei again, and this time there’s little I can do. I spend most of the morning sitting on a bench where I can see the driveway between the main gate and front of the academy, watching for Confederacy arriving.
Ash and Jamie sit with me for a while, before heading to the infirmary, and when they leave I pull out the Winterfall book. If I’m headed to see Tobias today, my denial has to stop. I read more of their history, as if this could connect me more. The Winterfalls lived on the estate from early Victorian times onwards, and I gaze at photos of the large white building and the plush interior. This is a world away from my parents’ terraced house.
Car wheels crunch slowly along the drive, and I place a hand on the open book as I look up. The car doesn’t have the distinctive Confederacy number plates, but my stomach knots and won’t untangle when a couple climb from the car and walk into the building. They return with a Walcott student and drive away, but my anxiety remains.
Of course. It’s the weekend. Some kids leave campus.
Sofia doesn’t haul me to Theodora—or anywhere—which confuses me too. This is an attack, not a death, and if April’s disappearance didn’t call for an investigation, Kimberly’s assault won’t.
The Kimberly situation would ordinarily preoccupy my mind away from everything else, but I’m faced with something enormous and more pressing.
I’ve had time to talk through my shocking news with the guys, spent sleepless nights with thoughts and fears cycling through my mind, but I’ve never allowed Tobias the chance to sit with me and explain. Originally, I believed he had nothing to explain because his actions were unforgivable.
Now I realise this is bigger than me. Bigger than the both of us.
Life isn’t what I’d like, but then whose is?
I keep my promise to him.
Tobias answers the door with less confusion and more clothes than yesterday, and his unguarded smile pulls me closer to him than last time. Has Tobias realised that he can’t push me away, either?
I sit in the same place on the sofa as I did the night I freaked out, with my fingers pressed against my closed eyelids, unsure if I’m doing the right thing. The heartbeat still echoes, although quieter than a couple of weeks ago, as if something calmed whatever exists down there. I question whether the ‘thing’ is an entity; in my visions of the maw below the fire where Gabriella and Anastasia’s voices shouted at the edges, I saw nothing.
And that frightens me more. How can we fight something bodiless?
“Thank you for coming to see me, Maeve,” says Tobias softly.
“Thank you for helping last night.”
Last night’s frenzy and darkness prevented me seeing him clearly and today he looks like the Tobias I’m closest to; the one whose emotions are nearer the surface. Although, he sits as stiffly as Professor Whitlock did, muscles tightly coiled, even though he’s dressed in jeans and a black shirt with two buttons unfastened, along with bare feet.
I never have and never will be able to look at this guy without my attraction to him surging.
“I’m glad you came to me for help last night,” he says.
I shift. “Otherwise I might’ve killed someone?”
“Maybe.”
My stomach lurches. I’d hope he’d dismiss the idea and settle my fears that I’m capable of murder, but he’s earnest.
“Help me, Tobias,” I say, voice thick. “I don’t know who else can.”
“I will help, Maeve, but we can’t move forward until we deal with what I told you a week ago.”
What I told you. I close my eyes again and swallow hard. “I try not to focus on that.”
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since we last spoke. I can’t get those moments out of my head,” he says quietly. “I physically felt your pain and confusion and I hated myself. And now—"
Now I’m with you, the light returned to my darkness.
I catch his last words and try to shake them from my head. “I wanted to hate you,” I say hoarsely. “I wanted to forget about you, but I can’t. Something will always stop me.”
“The curse is unfair, Maeve. Putting you
in this situation and playing around with your life and emotions is unbelievably wrong.”
Taking a shuddery breath, I say the words that have circled in my mind for weeks. “Not the curse, Tobias, but because I love you.”
He stands abruptly. “Don't say that to me."
I blink back tears at his immediate rejection. "Why not? Because you think I only love you because of the curse?"
“Why else would you? I've hurt you badly. Look at how upset you are."
“No.” I move from the sofa and stand opposite him before he walks away and tries to break from the conversation he wanted.
His eyes pain as I reach out and touch the side of his face, snatching the connection back. Tobias curls his fingers around mine and the magic that binds us wraps around too. I've spent days with thoughts tumbling around in my head—how I should feel, what I should do. But I don't choose how I feel; my heart does.
"I can sense how cut up you are over everything, Tobias. Me, the deaths—" I pause as his fingers tighten. "We can't change the past. Neither of us are the person we were five years ago."
He takes a ragged breath. “This isn’t the conversation I wanted. We have practical issues to discuss.”
“But this must be the conversation you expected. Emotions come into our situation whether you want them to or not. Nothing can change between us without forgiveness.”
“But with love? No.”
“Tobias.”
“Meeting was a bad idea, Maeve.” My pulse picks up as his mind opens to me and I see the exact opposite in his thoughts.
The night I slept in Tobias’s bed, I wrapped myself in the sheets scented by him and imagined I was in his arms again. I’d give anything to find the crazy passion from the night at the Blackwoods, but I want to know how it feels to wake up in his arms; not have him run from me.
Tobias gives a small shake of his head and drops his hand.
Crap. “You saw that?”
“Yes.”
I’d ask if he felt the same, but I don’t need to. After time apart, I’d half-hoped his desire for me would override his control again, but what if his guilt has strengthened his resolve?
"I have something to speak to you about too—besides us. I've had more time to watch what’s happening around the academy and some things aren't adding up." He frowns at me when I laugh. "Why is that funny?"
"You don't change. You swap from intense to pragmatic like this." I click my fingers.
"Because I need to." Tobias strokes my cheek. “Sorry.”
He may as well have kissed me, because my body fires up, wanting his lips on mine. Tobias’s eyes darken as my heart speed, but instead of responding he moves back and sits in the armchair.
I guess he’s still typical Tobias.
“Do you know who the Dominion insider is?” I ask hopefully and sit opposite him. He chose to sits in the armchair to avoid me getting close, I’m sure. Wanting him is pointless.
Yes, you’re too distracting.
Get out of my head, Tobias.
Tobias’s mouth tips at one corner and I half-smile at him.
“What about Garrett? His arrival seems odd,” I ask.
“No. Garrett speaks the truth; he is one of Theodora’s oldest consorts.” I blink and Tobias chuckles. “Oh, come on, Maeve. She’s lamia and powerful.”
“What have you seen happening?” I ask before thoughts of sex come back into my head.
“I came to the academy eighteen months ago and the atmosphere here filled with a harmony that surprised me. Theodora was a strong headmistress who held together an academy which could fall apart if conflict started.”
“Was? You don’t think she is now?”
Tobias rubs his nose. “I have a lot of respect for Theodora and she has helped me immensely, although I understand why she wanted to remove me from teaching. But I don’t believe she has a proper grip on what is happening inside the academy any longer.”
“The situation between the houses is difficult, that’s true. Maybe she should ask for outside help?”
“No. That isn’t what I’m referring to.” He sits forward and clasps his hands together. “She knows there’s a threat beneath the academy. A student has disappeared, which appears to be covered up. Yes, the Confederacy are involved, but this is a real and present danger. Theodora knows of your visions.”
“Are you saying she’s the Dominion spy?” I ask in shock.
“No. No, I don’t believe that for a second, but her grip on everything is loosening.”
“Her academy is falling apart,” I suggest but my scalp tingles at his words. I’ve thought her reaction odd a few times but as Theodora is highly regarded, I never spoke out.
“Perhaps, but her lack of action concerns me. I don’t believe she has any Dominion links; she’s vehemently opposed to everything they stand for and has fought them herself in the past. She is not a woman who could be corrupted. I’m at a loss.”
“Garrett spoke to me and he indicated she’s not a hundred percent herself.”
Tobias shakes his head. “I think Theodora covered up April’s death.”
My stomach lurches. “We don’t know if April died.”
“Maeve. Of course, she’s dead. The Confederacy took me into the tunnels to explain what happened and we found blood. If April were injured, how could she leave campus?”
I shudder. “Theodora is probably in denial. She couldn’t be involved.”
Tobias wrinkles his nose and looks away. “Perhaps.” He looks back. “I’m not surprised by the attack last night. This has been brewing.”
“Is somebody trying to frame Andrei again?”
“No. I first noticed Sergei and his friends wandering the academy a few nights ago, which is unusual behaviour for them. I thought nothing of this until the strange accusation the day your group went onto the moors. Now a witch has been attacked, possibly by a hemia. If Andrei is correct, the vampire who assaulted Kimberly is Sergei, the one who spends his life fighting against prejudice towards hemia. Totally out of character.” He shakes his head. “This behaviour is connected to the tunnels, Maeve.”
I swallow as the faint taste of blood appears on my tongue; a memory of how the heartbeat affects me. Jamie’s discovery about the asylum patient suddenly makes more sense. “You think some hemia are influenced by whatever is down there? Why not before now?”
“Because whatever it is was dormant.”
“Do you think this presence could affect all hemia?” I whisper.
“Yes. You need to persuade Andrei to let me back into his life.”
“Oh, god no,” I whisper again as Tobias’s theory adds a new dimension to Andrei’s behaviour last night. “No.”
“I’m not certain, Maeve, and I hate to think badly of Andrei, but we don’t know what we’re dealing with.”
“And you?” I ask.
He frowns. “Me?”
“You have hemia traits.”
“I don’t live at Petrescu,” he says sharply. “And I can’t be a threat, you know that. I’m blocked from hurting witches again.”
“Then why worry you’ll hurt me?” I blurt.
Tobias looks as if I slapped him across the face, as we reach the edge of the subject he’s avoided by talking about the academy instead. “The curse, Maeve.”
Silence creates a dark barrier between us, and I suppress thoughts of Tobias’s murderous actions, repeating to myself he isn’t the same man.
“I know you're concerned about the Blackwoods, but we’ll learn to control whatever darkness their energy infected you with.” He clears his throat. “The Winterfalls. Have you learned anything about their magic?”
I don’t mean to, but the shaking starts again, as with any time the family are mentioned. “Jamie found a book containing their history but no spells.”
Tobias swears. “You’ve not discovered anything?”
“Only a letter from my mother with some runes and no real explanation.”
“Your mother?”
he asks hoarsely.
“Yes. Her name was Astrid and—"
“Don’t, Maeve. Please.”
A week ago, I would’ve yelled at Tobias for murdering my family, told him how I could never trust him again, but I’ve come to realise how pointless that is. The reason I know how pointless is the reason I should trust him: he told me a secret that tore us apart to prove I could trust him.
“But I need to talk about this with you,” I say.
I look after him with disbelief as he stands and walks to another room without speaking to me. “Tobias!”
When he doesn’t respond, I follow. I can’t find him at first, the kitchen he walked into empty, until I spot double doors at the rear of the room. White gauze curtains move in the breeze from the open glass doors and Tobias stands on a balcony outside. He grips the wrought metal railing, his head tipped forward. We’re two floors up and the balconies on the building overlook the rear of the academy grounds, away from where students normally congregate. Pink wildflowers and daisies grow in the fields between the building and trees; I’ve spent time close to here with Ash, never considering we were in full view.
“Don’t worry, I don’t stand here often, Maeve,” he says with a light laugh.
“Your mind reading annoys me, Tobias.”
He turns and rests against the rail. “I’ve told you, it’s not deliberate.”
As I walk through the doors to stand in front of him, worry flickers across his features. “You can’t back off now, Tobias. You need to talk to me.”
“I saw into your mind a few minutes ago, Maeve. How could you want to kiss me when you know what I’ve done?”
“I kissed you the first time you told me about the massacre.”
He visibly cringes at the word. “But now the deaths are personal.”
“I’m angrier with my aunt than with you—or I was, until I understood her position. Yes, it hurts because I’ll never meet my real mother, but I’ve decided that if I live my life in the past or worry about the future, I won’t find any peace.”
Like you won’t.
He frowns at my silent words.
“You don’t worry about your visions?” he asks.
