Fashionably Dead Down Under (Hot Damned Series, Book 2)

by Robyn Peterman

  “Do you know who I am?”

  She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head. “Of course—you’re the one I should have killed when you were born. My lover wanted me to, but there was an old woman who kept saving you. I killed that bitch.” My mother’s laughter rang in my ears and my stomach churned. My nana had saved me in so many ways that I never even knew. The woman who floated before me was an abomination. She was pathetic and evil.

  “I have to go,” I muttered and turned to leave.

  “Wait,” she begged. “I could be your friend if you help me get out of here. We could find my lover and we could rule the world. It would be so much fun. He will beat you and rape you, but after a while you won’t mind. If you close your eyes you can float to another place with ponies and fireflies. I promise to take my share. I always did my share. Will you help me?”

  Oh my God. I dropped to my knees and my body curled in on itself as I tried to hold back the bile in my throat. Anger and a feeling of helplessness consumed me. I wanted to tear at my own skin. Was she a victim too? Had my father destroyed her long before she was my mother? I knew she’d been reincarnated many times. She went back to my father each life and they built an army to destroy the world, but had it been his idea or hers?

  Tears stung my eyes and I realized she wasn’t capable of love. It had been beaten out of her many lifetimes before she gave birth to me. Forgiveness was no longer difficult. She was so broken it was almost unfathomable. I knew without a doubt what I was going to do.

  I glanced back at George and Ethan who stood quietly and watched. Every muscle in my mate’s body was tense and the pain I saw in his eyes made me love him even more. He was going to be a beautiful father and I was going to be a beautiful mother. I just had one more thing to do here.

  Letting my mind leave my body, I closed my eyes and searched for my mother. She was blocked. There was no way in. I pressed my hands to my forehead and tried again. Closed. Why couldn’t I go in? She had no chance. My father had destroyed her the same way he had destroyed Lance and the other Demons. I wanted to give my mother one last gift. She was by no means innocent of guilt, but she was as much a victim as the ones I’d shown mercy on yesterday.

  “You can’t enter the mind of a soul,” George said.

  I whipped around and stared at him. How did he know what I was doing? Hell, I didn’t even care. I just wanted his help. “Is there any way to end her suffering?” I asked desperately.

  “None that I know of,” he said.

  “I was meant to rule the world,” she screamed, coming completely unhinged. “Find my lover, girl. Bring him to me and he will reward you with immortality and riches. He promised.” She was now foaming at the mouth and her beauty was marred by the blood and pus that poured from her wounds. She had smeared it all over her face and in her hair. It was all I could do to look at her.

  “I will try to find him for you,” I promised, telling her what I thought she wanted to hear. “I promise to find the answer to help you.”

  “You’re a good girl,” she grunted as she slapped at the flames. “I wish I’d known you better.”

  “So do I,” I whispered. “Goodbye.” I turned back to George and Ethan. “Take me out of here. Now.”

  “As you wish.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  It took several hours of staring into space before I was ready to speak. Ethan sat next to me and General George lay quietly at my feet. I wanted to give mercy to the woman who had shown me no compassion in life. Putting the sad pieces of her story together made my heart break. I was no longer surprised at how happy everyone was that I had killed my father. He was horrific. Truly horrific.

  “I want to end her—to give her peace,” I said.

  “I know.” Ethan reached over and held me.

  “She was already gone before she was mine and that wasn’t her fault.”

  “She made choices,” the General said flatly. “She went to him willingly.”

  “Yes, but under false pretenses. I know she was greedy and committed horrors over her lifetimes, but… after lifetimes of concentrated abuse and rape, do you really think she had free will to make a choice to leave? Do you?” I demanded.

  “I do not know. It is not my place to condemn or forgive, nor is it yours,” he said.

  “I think nothing is black and white. You talk of balance and good and evil, who in the hell is keeping tabs here? It certainly doesn’t seem like Satan is,” I yelled.

  George simply stared at me.

  “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. Maybe it’s not even Satan’s. With as many people that are here who could really dig deep enough to figure all the nuances out?” I reached out and ran my hand through George’s soft fur. “I’m just sad and angry.”

  “I know, child. I will leave you now to rest. I will see you this evening.”

  With that he disappeared in a burst of glitter. I glanced at where George had lain and saw something shiny.

  “Did the General lay an egg or does he poop shimmering rocks?” I asked, leaning off the couch to peer at what looked like a small shiny egg or worse.

  “I certainly hope not,” Ethan said, examining the object. “Oh my God,” he muttered. “The amulet.”

  “What amulet?”

  “My father gave me this before I followed you to Hell. It will kill one. Only one. The one meant to lead,” he said, remembering his father’s words.

  “Holy shit, that can kill Satan?” I picked up the stone and rolled it in my hand. It was smooth and gave off heavy vibes of magic.

  “Now that I know of True Immortals, I’m not sure,” Ethan admitted. “Quite honestly, I don’t even know how it works.”

  “I’m going to assume that very little is a mistake as far as the General goes. He left that here on purpose. Do you really think he would give us the means to kill his lord and master?” I was fascinated with the amulet. It was as beautiful as it was deadly.

  “He must have taken it from Lust. She had stolen it when I was beaten and chained.”

  “Did she know what she had?” I asked, still furious about what she had done.

  “No, she couldn’t have.”

  “What do we do with this thing?” I asked.

  “We keep it until we need it,” he answered logically.

  “And if we don’t?”

  “All the better for everyone,” he said.

  “Put the damn thing away. Wait, I’ll put it with the book Grandpa gave me. I shoved it under the mattress.” I took the stone and ran to the bedroom. The bed looked inviting and I was freakin’ exhausted.

  “Would you like to cuddle?” Ethan stood in the doorway, looking every inch the sex-on-a-stick Vampyre Prince he was.

  “Um, kind of.” I smiled and crooked my finger. All of a sudden I wasn’t so tired. “Come here.”

  His smile undid me. We slid into each other’s arms and fell onto the bed. Jeans and t-shirts disappeared and it was impossible to get close enough. I wanted to crawl inside him and live there. Forever. He reverently ran his hands over my newly rounded belly.

  “So beautiful,” he murmured. “So amazing.”

  “Do you think he’ll like us?” I placed my hand on top of his as he made lazy circles on my stomach.

  “God, I hope so.” He laughed and moved his hand to my breast.

  “I thought you wanted to cuddle.” I sighed happily and arched my back so he cupped me more fully.

  “Ahhh, you’re right,” he teased. He removed his hand from my aching breast and wrapped me in a non-sexual embrace. “I’m not in the mood anyway.”

  “You suck,” I giggled and rubbed my bottom on some very hard evidence that belied his words.

  “You do realize that we have to be at your uncle’s in a half hour.”

  “Can we be fashionably late?” I murmured, placing his hands back on my breasts.

  “I’m good with that,” he said and shimmied my panties to my ankles.

  “I wannna be on top,” I said as I straddl
ed his body and felt the fire begin to unfurl low in my belly. “Do you mind?”

  “I’d be delighted.” His lopsided grin made my lady parts dance.

  God, I loved this man. I loved him inside and out, but his outside was making me crazy at the moment.

  “One rule,” I whispered as I rubbed myself like a cat on his chest. “No breaking eye contact the entire time. I want to watch you come and I want you to watch me.”

  “That could be arranged,” he said huskily. His eyes blazed green and hips moved in a slow fashion that promised really, really good things.

  “Poke her boobie, it’s squishy,” a little voice squealed with excitement.

  “Nooooooo, why he get to poke Mommy’s melons? Mommy no let me grab her jugs,” another whined.

  “Pretty boy touches Mommy’s butt. Me saw him smack it and Mommy laugh!”

  “Was Mommy bad girl and get spank spank?” yet another asked with great concern.

  “What the hell?” Ethan groaned and covered himself with the sheet. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” He slapped his hand over his eyes and tried not to laugh.

  “Off,” I yelled at my inappropriately nosy Demons. “Off the bed and out of the room. Now.”

  “But Mommy, it just getting good,” Beyonce complained. Abe was humping the air and Ross was trying to pry Ethan’s fingers from his eyes.

  “Mommmmy, how bout we be quiet and no touch. Can we stay?” Rachel asked sweetly as she pulled on Ethan’s chest hair.

  “No,” I snapped. They were better than a vat of ice water as far as libido destroyers went. “You most certainly cannot watch. Ever… wait, have you been watching us?”

  “Um, what you mean, Mommy?” Ross inquired innocently, slinking away from Ethan’s head.

  “I mean,” I said as I pinched my thighs to keep from laughing or screaming, “have you been watching Ethan and I… um,”

  “Get jiggy?” Beyonce asked.

  “Bump uglies?” Abe grunted and acted out his suggestion.

  “Get some stankie on the hang down?” Rachel offered and Ethan choked.

  “I know,” Ross yelled. “She mean to say pound the duck!”

  “Oh my God,” I moaned as I scooped up my little monsters and tossed them out to the living room. Ethan’s laughter followed me as I herded them out of the room much to their great disappointment at not being invited to the party.

  “Are you guys almost ready?” Dixie was standing in the living room, fully dressed and ready to go. “It’s a sit down dinner and Daddy has a shit fit if we’re late.”

  My head dropped to my chest and I wanted to cry. I liked Dixie a lot. I was growing to love her, but right now I wanted to kill her. “Be there in a sec,” I said and raced back to the bedroom. “Get up and get dressed. Our ride to my uncle’s is here,” I whispered and tried not to laugh at the incredulous expression on his face.

  “We’re finding the damned Sword tonight. I am done with being interrupted. My very impressive package is going to fall off soon if I keep having to ice it down.” He swore and stomped into the bathroom to take a shower. A cold one. I wanted to join him, but that would add insult to injury.

  “We’ll be out in a sec,” I repeated and pulled out a sexy black number. With my blood red locks, I had very little choice in the color department. I yanked on some hotter than hell thigh high boots and twisted my hair into a messy knot. I was pissy but good to go.

  After a two minute icy shower Ethan came back a bit calmer. He took a long look at my ensemble, rolled his neck and closed his eyes. “The boots are not helping,” he muttered as he retrieved the amulet from the mattress. “The stone can be worn as a charm. I want it on your neck.”

  “Is that smart? What if someone knows what it is?” I said.

  “Fuck ‘em,” he said. He removed the thin gold chain from my neck and slid the amulet on. It was beautiful. “I’ll feel better if you have this since we’ve been forbidden weapons.”

  It fell perfectly between my breasts and sparkled with magic. “It’s a little scary.” I laughed and glanced down at the tiny rock of utter destruction, but Ethan was right. If I needed it… I would use it.

  “You ready?” he asked. He was dressed head to toe in Hugo Boss and I wanted to strip him with my teeth. Instead I sighed and grabbed a clutch.

  “Yes, as ready as I’ll ever be.”

  He grinned and gave me a quick but promising peck on the lips. “Let’s go.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  The dining room was still massive, but less so than this morning. Filled with Demons dressed to the nines, it looked like the set of a movie. Carl, Janet and Myrtle were on duty again making rounds with heavy silver trays laden with champagne and hors d’oeuvres. I was curious what Satan deemed appropriate eats for a formal diner party, so I hightailed it to Janet.

  “Would you like some smoked salmon, Astrid?” she asked.

  “No weenies tonight?”

  “No.” She giggled and popped a perfect toast point smeared with cream cheese, salmon and capers into her mouth. “I like the soy weenies better, but Satan said we had to have classier fare tonight. Ohhhh, you look beautiful. Your hair is amazing.”

  “Thanks,” I muttered ungratefully. Trying to ignore my hair color was impossible. There was no avoiding tresses the color of blood. “Do you know everyone here tonight?” I needed to start somewhere and I highly doubted that Janet had taken the Sword.

  “Well,” she whispered, “I know who everyone is. They wouldn’t know me, because… I’m me, but it’s the cream of the crop in attendance.”

  “Who are those people?” I pointed to a group of hard looking men sipping champagne and exchanging terse pleasantries.

  “Those are Guards, like Cole.” Her cheeks darkened with displeasure. “They think they run the show when the Master isn’t around.”

  “Don’t they?”

  “Yes, but… ”

  “But what?” I asked. Were they cruel? Were they screwing with Satan?

  “Nothing,” she said, quickly recovering. With a big fake smile plastered on her sweet face, she gave me a small curtsy and hustled away.

  “Anything interesting?” Ethan asked. He held a glass of champagne and eyed the crowd.

  “Janet is afraid of the Guards over there. Possibility one or more might have delusions of grandeur about taking over Hell.” I dipped my pinkie into his glass and touched it to my tongue. “Motherfucker,” I hissed and choked. “How old do I have to be for food to stop tasting like butt?”

  “Three hundred,” he answered and arched an eyebrow in amusement.

  “It’s really not funny. I’m pregnant and I want pickles and ice cream. Only problem is I’m not fond of things that taste like dusty ass,” I snapped.

  “I can see how that might be a problem,” he agreed. I rolled my eyes and elbowed him. His grunt of pain made me happy. “How many people know of the Sword?” he asked as he pinched my ass in retaliation.

  “Good question.” I gasped and smacked his hand. I considered tickling him or licking my finger and sticking it in his ear, but figured that was very immature and might be conspicuous.

  “Hi guys, is this boring or what?” Dixie said as she tucked herself between us. “I hate these things.”

  “Dixie, how many people know about the Sword?” I asked.

  Her head whipped to me so fast I felt a breeze. Her pretty eyes narrowed and she grabbed my arm in a vise-like grip. “What do you know about the Sword?”

  “Ease up,” I hissed and discreetly pushed her to a corner by a ridiculously large plant in a gold and jewel encrusted pot. The show of wealth in Hell was staggering. Ethan stepped in front and hid us from view. “Let go of my arm. I like you and want you to keep your hands.”

  She reluctantly released me, but her body stayed tense. “What do you know about the Sword?” she repeated.

  “I know it’s missing and I know I now suspect you of taking it.” I watched a myriad of expressions cross her face, but th
e largest was disbelief. I relaxed a bit. My gut and heart knew she didn’t steal it.

  “I would never do that. It would put the Balance of Chaos in jeopardy, not to mention the lives of my father and grandfather,” she ground out. “What else do you know?”

  “I’m asking questions at the moment,” I told her. “You’ll get your turn. How many know of the Sword?”

  “Most believe it’s a story—that it doesn’t really exist.”

  “Yes, and?”

  “The True Immortals know.” She glanced around in a slight panic. I wasn’t sure if she was scared to tell me or terrified someone would hear her.

  “Well, duh.” I rolled my eyes. “I assumed they knew. Who else?”

  “I’m not exactly sure.” She shook her head and picked at her freshly painted nails. “I think my sisters know and most likely my dad’s top advisors… ”

  “How do you know about it?” I asked. This was going to be a little easier than I’d originally thought—possibly.

  She paused and gave me a hard stare before she went on. “Grandpa told me about it,” she said. “I don’t know if he was supposed to so I’ve never told anyone.”

  “Which sisters do you think have any knowledge of the Sword?”

  “I can’t be sure… why do you want it?” she demanded. “If you hurt my father, I’ll… ” Her fists clenched in anger and tears filled her eyes.

  “Stop.” I grabbed her by the shoulders and I got in her face. “Your father asked me to find it. It’s been stolen. I would never hurt him. You have my word.” I kept my voice low. The room was starting to fill.

  She eyed me with distrust, but I saw the hope in her eyes. “You won’t use it against him?” she whispered.

  “I may be a loose cannon but I’m not an idiot. I want it back where it’s supposed to be so I can go home. As lovely and over the top as Hell is, I really prefer Kentucky.”