Pretense

by Lori Wick

  "Tatum said you were going to the post office. May I walk with you?"

  "Sure."

  Mackenzie didn't know this woman very well-her bunk was on the other end of the barracks-but she didn't mind the company.

  "Where are you from, Mackenzie?" Kim asked, and Mackenzie had the impression she was desperate to talk. Mackenzie wasn't, but neither did she mind a little conversation.

  "San Francisco. How about you?"

  "Dallas."

  Mackenzie smiled. She had caught the soft accent, and as she glanced over, also noticed a swift, vulnerable look in the other girl's eyes. It strongly reminded her of Delancey, and for the first time since she arrived, she allowed herself to open up to someone.

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  "I lived in San Antonio when I was a girl. My father was stationed at Fort Sam Houston."

  "Your father is in the Army?" Kim sounded delighted.

  "He was. He died a few years ago."

  "I'm sorry, Mackenzie. Is this hard for you?"

  "It is a little. I haven't thought about it too much, but I'm starting to. He did all this long before I was born-you know, basic and all that-but he was stationed here. It's easy now to see what it must have been like. Before this I never knew what he faced, and now that I'd like to ask him all about it, he's not here."

  Silence fell between them for a few moments. Mackenzie could have stayed quiet, but realizing what she'd just revealed, she knew she would have to be the one to speak first or Kim would feel she had intruded.

  "What field are you hoping to go into, Kim?"

  "I've thought a little about finance and administration."

  Mackenzie nodded. "My scores were high in math too, but I'm still thinking about where I want to head."

  "I'd like a listing overseas."

  This surprised Mackenzie, but she admitted, "I would too. My father was stationed in Germany, France, and Korea. France was before I was born, and we didn't get to go with him to Korea or Germany. I don't feel like I've been anywhere."

  "My family travels a lot, so I have been to the Continent and all over, but I'd still like to get out of the Lower 48. I could live with Hawaii."

  Mackenzie laughed. "Kayla Bolton-she's in the bunk next to me-says she prays for a posting in Hawaii every night. She's from there, and it just about killed her to come to Missouri."

  "I think it killsMissouripeople to be here." Kim's voice was dry, but Mackenzie had to agree with a small laugh. In truth, she'd never felt such humidity. Florida had been bad, but not like this.

  They were finally at the post office. Mackenzie disposed of her letters, Kim did the same, and Mackenzie bought stamps. They talked of nothing in particular on the way back to the barracks and nothing at all when the time got away and they nearly had to run. Being late was something they didn't want to think about.

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  "Do you call that a shot, Martin?" Sergeant Waxley shouted at the woman next to Mackenzie.

  "Sir, no, sir," Tatum Martin responded from her position on the ground.

  "Try it again," Waxley barked, moving on.

  Mackenzie remained quiet, concentrating on her own firing and thinking about how uncomplicated it seemed to her. For some reason Mackenzie had taken to shooting. She wasn't perfect, but compared to the three other women with whom she was assigned to the rifle range, she was an expert. In truth, the gun did not frighten her as it did some recruits. That she was comfortable with it from the moment it was handed to her seemed to go a long way. It also went a long way with her companions, two of whom approached her that night.

  "She takes you apart about your wall locker, Micki," Tatum complained, "but you can do no wrong on the rifle range."

  Both Tatum and Kayla were sitting on Kayla's bed. Mackenzie was on her own across from them. The three were speaking in hushed tones.

  "You both did better today," Mackenzie encouraged them. "And she didn't yell as much at the end as when we first got out there. I think you're too hard on yourselves."

  "Maybe, but we still want to know your secret."

  "I don't have one, and stop looking at me as if I'm holding out on you. I'm just comfortable and accurate, that's all. I certainly can't say that about everything, and you both know it. You saw how I was with the map. I thought Waxley would have apoplexy. You got us out of that swamp, Kayla, or I'd still be out there."

  The women would have laughed, but a "lights out" shout came from the other end of the room. Waxley was on the way, her eyes missing nothing. Tatum swiftly slipped over to her own bunk, and Mackenzie and Kayla made a point of not looking at her or each other before they climbed beneath their own covers. And not a moment too soon: Lights out came just moments later.

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  Mackenzie had to smother the laughter that bubbled inside her. The cartoons that Delancey had drawn on her letter were hysterical. A caricature of Mackenzie in fatigues was the funniest thing Mackenzie had ever seen. D.J. had done a remarkable job with the bayonet that "Private Bishop" was using to pick her teeth. She only had time to skim the contents of the letter, and in so doing caught Delancey's line about "a million handsome guys. . ."

  Mackenzie was not able to finish. It was the final week of basic training, and graduation started in two hours. The instructors had tried again to run them to death during the week with a 15-mile march, field training exercises, and practice for graduation, but Mackenzie had made it. Kim, Tatum, and Kayla too.

  In just two hours their unit would be presented to the commander. Having grown up with an Army father, Mackenzie had never before noticed just how much ceremony was involved in the military. It didn't matter what was accomplished, it was done ceremonially. Now it was her turn.

  If you can see me, Dad, or hear me-I did it. I made it through basic. I did it for both of us.

  Mackenzie didn't have time to think of him again. Never a day where it mattered more, her uniform today needed to be in perfect order, and she hadn't even started polishing her shoes. Some of the other women were obviously feeling the same way. Several who had also been going through their papers and mail began to ready for the ceremony. Indeed, the time was flying. Inside of 90 minutes, she would be on the parade grounds.

  Mackenzie had just given Tatum a hug and watched as she joined her family farther down the grass when someone called her name. She turned to see Kim heading her way.

  "We made it!" Kim exclaimed, and the women hugged.

  "That we did. Doesn't it feel good?"

  "Yes. I was so proud of you when they called your name for that expert marksmanship badge, Micki. You'd think I was the one getting it."

  Mackenzie laughed. Kim had become a good friend over the last weeks.

  "Listen, Micki," she said suddenly, "I want you to meet my folks."

  "Okay."

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  Kim smiled hugely before she turned to the couple that approached. Seconds later Mackenzie met Madeline and Kenneth Rivers. She smiled kindly and spoke with them for a moment, but her throat felt clogged with tears. It never occurred to her, until it was too late to get flights, to ask her mother and Jack to come. Right now she couldn't even think about Delancey, or she would be in tears. It was a relief to have the Riverses do most of the talking. Ken had been in the Army before his marriage to Maddy, and it was interesting to hear how procedures had changed.

  They asked Mackenzie to join them for a meal, but she was ready to be alone. Kim seemed to understand, and Mackenzie was glad. She thought about her friend even as she walked away. It was hard to say if they would see each other much in the future, if at all. It would be another few days before she learned that her hunch was right. Kim was headed to New Jersey, but Mackenzie's next assignment was at the Army's finance center and school-Fort Benjamin Harrison, Indianapolis, Indiana.

  San Francisco November 1986

  "What's in this?" Delancey held up a large manila envelope for her mother's inspection.

  Sitting at the desk in the corner of the kitchen, both women were looking throug
h old photos and papers.

  "I don't know." Marrell squinted at it. "Open it and see."

  The 17-year-old pinched the clasp, pushed up the flap, and drew forth a stack of papers.

  "Micah Bear in the Rain,"she read out loud.

  "Oh, that would be one of Micki's stories. She was looking for those. I wonder how they got into my desk."

  Delancey glanced through them. Remarkably prolific, Mackenzie had filled every page with her messy scrawl, and Delancey found it too depressing.

  "I feel like she's been gone forever."

  "I miss her too."

  "She doesn't write as much as I thought she would." Delancey's complaint was not new, but Marrell was not going to indulge her. A high schooler, at leastthishigh schooler, had no real idea of what hard work could be like.

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  "She's not on vacation, D.J. The Army is a lot of work. I know that doesn't make her silence any easier, but I can tell you that she's very busy learning new skills. It's much like being in college."

  Suddenly Marrell was very glad she hadn't met Paul until after he was commissioned as an officer.

  Delancey's thoughts were elsewhere. Her sister had joined the Army for three years and been gone only four months. Right now Delancey didn't know how she would survive the time. Had she known it, her parents were just as concerned about her.

  "I never considered the girls' relationship a problem, Jack," Marrell had mentioned to him just two days past. "I mean the girls have always been very close, and I never felt it was a problem, but now that Delancey's on her own, she's lost. From Mckenzie's letters, I don't know if she is much better. The girls have never been good at making girlfriends, and I'm just now seeing that. I wonder what I could have done to have avoided this."

  Jack did not have an immediate answer for her, and Marrell would not have said anything to Delancey, but it was true. She prayed for Delancey right then, but for the moment decided to keep her mouth shut.

  "I'd better get something to eat," Delancey said as she put the envelope aside.

  "Oh, that's right. I forgot about your baby-sitting job. When does Shay expect you?"

  "At six o'clock."

  "All right. You'd better call and remind them you'll need a ride home. I don't want you driving that late."

  "It might not be that late-probably between ten and eleven o'clock."

  "Well, either way they can bring you, or Jack can come and get you if that would be easier."

  "Are you going to take me there or is Jack?"

  "I probably will, why?"

  "I want to stop at the grocery store, and Jack might not get home from work in time to stop."

  "All right. Go call Shay and then eat. I'll get you to the store and to Shay's on time. Don't forget your homework."

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  "I won't," Delancey answered tiredly, but she would have loved to. Babysitting Jana and Josh Lacy was about the only bright spot on her calendar these days. She would do her homework, but only after she'd played as long as she could with Jana and Josh.

  The no-smoking signs had come on, and the pilot had already asked the flight attendants to prepare for arrival. It wasn't as early as Mackenzie had hoped it would be, but at least this way she knew her family would be home. By the time she deplaned and caught a taxi, they might be in bed, but Mackenzie was quite certain they would forgive her the late hour.

  Missouri and Indiana seemed a long way off. In truth, she hadn't been away from home that long, but a lot had certainly happened. She missed her mother, Jack, and Delancey terribly and could laugh with sheer joy just at the thought of seeing them, but she was not sorry she had left. At times she was so lonely for family that she would have quit if given the chance, but those moments were rare. And now with this latest posting . . .

  The plane bounced a few times on landing, but Mackenzie barely noticed. She was in the eleventh row, so she was off the plane swiftly. With nothing to check, her kit bag dangling from one shoulder, she walked through San Francisco International Airport in better shape than she'd ever been. Within minutes she was hailing a cab and giving her address. The ride home wasn't going to be cheap, but it would be well worth the investment.

  The eleven o'clock news had just started when Marrell realized she was too tired to watch. She wanted to go to bed, but Jack was bringing Delancey home, and after her daughter's depressed reaction to Mackenzie's absence earlier that day, she wanted to have a word with her. Marrell was reaching for the remote control when the doorbell rang.

  "You could wait for Jack to park the car, D.J.," Marrell muttered under her breath. "I might have been in the bathroom."

  Marrell froze when she saw her oldest daughter. Not until Mackenzie raised her hand and saluted did Marrell respond.

  "Private Bishop reporting for duty."

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  "Oh, Micki," Marrell cried, her arms reaching to hug her. Both women were instantly awash with tears. Mackenzie had the foresight to close the door, but after doing so they just stood with their arms wrapped around each other.

  "Look at you," Marrell gasped. "This uniform. Your father would be so-" she couldn't go on.

  Mackenzie wiped at her own tears, her face more lean than Marrell had ever seen it.

  "Where are Jack and D.J.?" Mackenzie finally managed.

  "Oh, quick," Marrell said suddenly. "Into the kitchen. We'll surprise them."

  "Where are they?" she asked, even as her mother pushed her along.

  "D.J. was baby-sitting for Jana and Josh."

  "Here." Mackenzie pushed a tissue into her mother's hands. "You'd better dry up or they'll know."

  "That's true," Marrell said, but she couldn't manage it. When they heard the front door open not five minutes later, she stayed where she was.

  "Is that you, D.J.?"

  "It's Jack."

  "Where's D.J.?"

  "Right behind me."

  "Can you send her into the kitchen?"

  "Sure. Did you hear that, D.J.?"

  "Yeah. What did you need?" Delancey asked as she came around the corner.

  Jack was about three steps ahead of his stepdaughter, so both he and Marrell were able to see her face and hear her scream. A minute later the two girls were hugging, and for long moments neither one tried to speak.

  Marrell had gone into Jack's arms, and Jack patiently waited for Mackenzie and Delancey to break up before claiming his own hug.

  "Hi, Jack," Mackenzie smiled up at him.

  "Hi, Mic. Nice surprise. You can do this anytime."

  "All right."

  "How long can you stay?"

  "Until Saturday."

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  He hugged her again when he realized she would be there for Thanksgiving. They had been invited to spend Thanksgiving in Sebastopol with Oliver's folks but had wanted to stay home this year. At the moment Jack was very pleased with their decision.

  "You look so different," Delancey said.

  Mackenzie grinned. "It's a lot of work."

  "But you like it," her mother stated.

  "Yes." Her eyes were alive with excitement. "I love it."

  Marrell cocked her head to one side. "Wasn't the finance school scheduled for twelve weeks?"

  "Yes, but there's been a change."

  Marrell's brows rose. "Going to tell us about it?"

  "Just as soon as I change into jeans and get a huge glass of Pepsi."

  Marrell laughed. Some things would never change, and at the moment that was a tremendous source of comfort. The confident young woman who had left home had come back with more poise and awareness than Marrell had planned on. For a moment her mother hadn't known her, but then out came the jeans and Pepsi. This was her Mackenzie.

  "Why don't I get your drink, and we'll talk in the living room," Jack offered.

  "I won't pass that up," Mackenzie answered and made to leave.

  "Do I have to go to school tomorrow, Jack? It's only two days until Thanksgiving break."

  "We'll see. Did you get your
homework done?"

  "Yes."

  "All right. Let me discuss it with your mom. Maybe we can take your homework in, explain the situation to the office, and then get your work for the rest of the week. We'll just have to see."

  Delancey looked as though she could burst and swiftly followed on the heels of her sister. Marrell turned to find Jack's eyes on her. He was always so careful with her feelings.

  "Is she really here, or am I dreaming?"

  "Want me to pinch you?" he asked and used those mobile eyebrows of his.

  "I think I do," she smiled back. "I'll take a Pepsi too, if you're offering."

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  "I am, but aren't you afraid you won't sleep?" As soon as Jack said it, he shook his head. With Mackenzie home, sleep was the last thing on their minds.

  "I drew something for you when I was at the Lacys' tonight," Delancey said as she came into Mackenzie's room without knocking.

  "Let's see it," Mackenzie responded, pulling up the zipper of her jeans.

  In soft colored pencil, Delancey had done a teddy bear. His tummy was round, and he was a bit on the scruffy side. Sporting a dark-blue bow tie and a matching vest, his face was turned to look at the viewer with an expression that was all at once confused and determined.

  "Micah Bear," Mackenzie said softly.

  "How did you know?" Delancey was shocked.

  "How didyouknow?" Mackenzie stared at her younger sibling.

  "We found some of your old stories, but how did you know it was Micah Bear?"

  "Because this is exactly the way I would have drawn him if I had the talent. I can't believe how good this is."

  Delancey looked very pleased.

  "Can I keep this?"

  "Sure."

  "Thank you. It's wonderful. Do you still have the stories?"

  "In my book bag."

  "I've got to see them. It was so long ago. It'll be a riot to see what I wrote."

  "Actually, some of them are very good. I think you might be surprised."

  "I don't know about that."

  "So what's going on, Mic?" Delancey couldn't stand it any longer. "Why are you here?"

  "I've been transferred," Mackenzie said as she pulled on a pair of thick socks. "Come on. I'll tell you all at the same time."

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