Case of the Poodle Doodle

by Erik Schubach

  Jane added, “She doesn't text like a regular pre-teen either.”

  I said, “There's no excuse for bad grammar, diction, nor punctuation while texting. Taking shortcuts shows a lack of patience and respect for those you are communicating with.”

  She blinked at me then said, “LOL.”

  I giggled at her and echoed, “LOL.” God, I loved this woman.

  She started to get up but stopped when I just sat there, staring at the cell in my hands. “What is it, Finny?”

  I looked over my shoulder at her as I tried to word things correctly, “We're to talk to the other orphanages tomorrow. About the babies...”

  She nodded carefully like she would around an easily spooked animal. I asked in a meek voice, “Would it be... the babies have more of a chance to... Luce is.”

  She placed a finger on my lips and spun me to hug me from behind again, “I know, love. Maybe it's time to make our decision now. We can always adopt another child, a baby. You light up like the sun when talking to Luce, and I think she's amazing too.” She snorted and said, “She's kind of mouthy like I'd imagine a young Jessie.”

  I smiled in my trepidation as I wondered if she was thinking the same thing as I was. This was such a life-changing decision.

  She offered, “Why don't we move forward to the next step in the process with Luce. The two of you are peas in a pod, and I couldn't see a better mother for her if she'd have us.”

  I studied her eyes, they were sincere, and I dared to smile and asked, “You mean it? You don't mind that Luce is almost a teen?”

  She shook her head.

  I blurted, “I'll text Miss Smythe and Mrs. Doyle now!”

  Suddenly I was afraid as my thumbs froze on the screen. Jane looked concerned and placed a hand over mine on the cell. “What is it, love?”

  I whispered, “What if she doesn't want us?”

  She rolled her eyes and said, “Send the texts, I'll be in the shower.”

  I nodded and swallowed, then pulled up my contact list. Then my eyes shot up. Wake up, Finnegan! I knew an invitation when I heard one. I don't think I'd ever sent two texts so fast in my life. Then I was skipping to the shower to join her, dropping my nightshirt behind me.

  As I stepped into the steaming shower with the woman of my heart, glistening water droplets running down her muscular, feminine form as I let her know, “I told them to hold off telling anyone until we ask Luce.” Then we were kissing.

  What followed is not for impressionable minds like yours. Don't look at me like that, I'm not sharing the intimate details, so suck it up buttercup.

  I already had a voice message from Mrs. Doyle when we emerged from the shower with silly smiles on our faces. I dressed then played it. She sounded equal parts excited and suspicious when she asked if we were serious. Then she babbled on about the next steps and that she wouldn't get Luce's hopes up until we spoke with her.

  I texted her back, “We have never been more sure of anything in our lives.”

  She sent back, “Thank Mary, Mother of God. We never thought it would happen.”

  Jane snorted as she read it as I handed her the cell so I could get dressed after she finished pulling on her signature, tight black tee.

  I froze with my orange sundress with white trim and sash half on. I whispered, “We could be mothers soon.”

  “You're just now thinking about that are ya, pipsqueak?”

  I stuck my tongue out at the jerk cop and finished getting dressed as Calvin came up the stairs to see what our ruckus was all about.

  When we got downstairs, the girls were already curled around their coffee cups protectively in the living room. Contrary to all our best intentions, we got another late start. Le sigh. I sang out as Jane joined the coffee zombie army while I started a quick breakfast of scrambled eggs, hash browns and bacon, “You two ready to be aunts?”

  Ker's eyebrows met her hairline and Jess blurted hopefully, “You two finally made a decision?”

  Kerry crossed her fingers after I nodded. I looked at Jane as she flopped into the loveseat. She blew the steam off her coffee and said one syllable, “Luce.”

  Jess squeaked out, “Yes!” As her wife fist pumped the air.

  I blinked and asked, “You like her too?”

  Ker chuckled and said as Jess nodded, “Hell, yes. You don't see it, do you? I grew up with someone just like Luce, and that person turned out pretty ok... weird, but ok.”

  I sighed. Not them too. I still didn't see it except for a couple small things.

  I pouted. “I'm not weird. You are.”

  They ignored my puffed out lower lip and celebrated.

  I mumbled, “Well get over here and sit down, or you can starve. I swear I raised you all better than this.”

  Jane chuckled. “Yes, mom.”

  And that made Jess cock an eyebrow and speak behind her hand to her wife as they all headed to the table, “Fin's gonna be a MILF.”

  I squeaked out in alarm. Oooo only one piece of bacon for her. She kissed the top of my head as she passed. Fine, two pieces of bacon.

  I looked at my buzzing cell as I dished up some plates. I squeaked again. Then asked as I brought the ravenous wolves their prey, “Jane, can you be home at four? They want us to ask Luce then on teleconference. If not, I can conference you in.”

  She smiled and said, “I believe I can be back home in time. My caseload is light, and unless we hear something on the APB for Higgs, I'm sure the brass will be fine with me taking some personal time for something this important.”

  I huffed in my head. They better be ok with it. She puts in more overtime than any of the other detectives in her precinct. I gave her a patient smile, and she just squinted one eye playfully at me.

  I texted one handed as I brought out the pitcher of orange juice.

  Jess nudged her chin and asked, “The orphanage?”

  I looked at her and smirked. “More important if I want to stay alive.”

  Ker-Bear grinned, sussing out the recipient of my text. “Winnie! Tell her hi for me.”

  Jess chimed in, “Me too!”

  I exhaled a long sigh then looked at Jane, “And you?”

  She picked up a piece of bacon and tore a bite off with her teeth as she shrugged. “Don't need to, you do that for me anyway.”

  Hey! Well, she was right, but how did she know? I narrowed an eye at her, has she been on my cell? She shoved my shoulder when I sat while she defended, “I actually do have conversations with your mother, you know Fin. She told me.”

  Oh. I tried an apologetic cheesy toothy grin with wide eyes. She winked and tore off another bite of bacon. Yay, I'm forgiven. Wait, how did she know what I had been thinking. I'm not that predictable, am I? Shut up, it was rhetorical, and I wasn't asking you.

  There. Text to mom, asking her to be here for something important at four. This would work out well, mom has wanted to meet Luce. She's been prompting us for pictures of the two babies and her.

  After breakfast, I sent the girls to work, giving them little hand sewn lunch bags. Kerry asked the others at the door as they were filing out, “Does anyone else feel like a kid bringing sack lunches to school?”

  Jess shoved her out the door, and Jane gave me a goodbye kiss, then thumped Calvin's side. “Take care of her, boy.” Then she was gone. I placed my ear to the door again, so I could hear her walk away after I had locked and unlocked the door a few times. I smiled when she started moving toward the stairs.

  I turned to look at the place then told Cal, “Let's do this boy, the faster we do this, the faster I can have a complete nervous breakdown waiting for the call.”

  He didn't seem to care about my impending anxiety episode. Instead, he was scratching his ear with his hind leg. Men are like that. I told him as I harnessed and bibbed him, “Gee, thanks for the support, Mr. Fluffytoes.” He slurped my cheek. Daw! “I love you too.”

  Then we were off. Two professionals on a mission.
And it was the longest day of my life. Even longer than the day we buried dad.

  I remember that morning, hiding under my bed, waiting for mom to call me down to go to the funeral. Garrett had found me and just sat there on the floor in the formal suit mother bought him for the occasion, his hand under the bed, resting on my shoulder. I didn't want to go. If I did, then it would make it real. So every second ticking by on the clock felt an eternity, yet it was still moving too fast.

  Gar never said a word, and kept that reassuring hand on my shoulder, even when mom called us down to go. I don't know how long we sat there like that, but someone lifted the bedspread on the other side, and my very best friend in all the world, Kerry, slid in under the bed with me in her tidy black dress.

  Come to think of it that may be the first time I ever saw her in a dress. She just held my hand without a word, and let me work through the emotions, the anxiety... Then she gave me a smile when I finally nodded once. Gar lifted the bedspread like he knew, so we could slide out. It's a twin thing, we've always been in tune with each other.

  Now that I think about it, the two of them had known exactly what to do and showed more empathy and compassion than kids should have had. I don't know if I would have made it without them.

  Today, time was moving just as slow, well even slower. I must have looked at the time every couple minutes, thinking an hour had gone by. It felt like forever until I finally dropped off the fuzzy girls at their homes.

  Then the anxiety hit me like a harmonic resonance, building upon itself until Cal whined once. I inhaled a cleansing breath, lowered a hand for him to lick then nodded at him, “I'm ok. It's time. You ready for this boy?”

  He was ready, I can tell since his tail was swishing like a metronome. I nodded in earnest, “Good, let's get home. Mom will bring Killer over for you to play with.” His ear twitched as he recognized Killer's name as we turned back toward Central Park to head home.

  Chapter 12 – Would It Be Ok?

  Mom was already waiting for us at the apartment, she had let herself in with her key, and the place smelled of fresh brewed coffee. Once Cal was unclipped, Killer ran up to him and jumped to push his front paws off of Cal's side. Calvin's ears went down, his tongue lolled out, and his tail swished violently as he went into playful crouched hunt mode, and chased a yapping Killer into the girl's bedroom. They were such goofs.

  I trundled over to where mom rested a hip against the kitchen island counter, sipping her coffee. “Hi, mom!” We kissed each other's cheeks.

  “Hi, Tempe. So what is so important I had to be...”

  I held up a stopping hand and explained, “Would you like to speak with Luce? We have a call scheduled with her in thirty minutes.”

  She brightened, it was the same look she got when Gar and Becky were expecting with Alyx. I snickered and asked, “I see you brought your grandma goggles.”

  She grinned and shoved my shoulder lightly. Then we watched Calvin dash past, and up the stairs with a tiny terror behind him, it must have been his turn to be hunted. I called to them, “Hey, no running in the house.” I stuck my tongue out at mom for her smug look. “Yeah, that's right woman, I'm using your material.”

  She moved toward the living room. “You know I'd love to speak with her. Jessie tells me she's like a little Irish carbon copy of you.”

  I rolled my eyes, assuring her, “We're nothing alike.”

  She went on like I hadn't spoken. “She looks like a little spitfire with that red, curly hair.”

  We sat and caught up. Her latest article was about fencing with the over fifty crowd, and she was explaining the different types of blades used when we heard a key in the front door lock. The boys came dashing out of the bathroom; what had they been doing in there? To rush up to greet... oh, it wasn't Jane.

  “Hi, Fin, am I...” Jess started, then almost purred, “Oh hello Winnie, here for...” My glare had her deflect what she was going to say, “... the call?”

  Mom nodded and then hugged Jess when she joined us and leaned down to get some mom-sugar as she called it. “Yes, I've wanted to meet Luce since Fin told me about her.”

  I asked Jess, “Why are you home early?”

  She blinked at me, and I could tell she was choosing her words since I seemed perturbed she almost spilled the beans. “I like the little Irish runt. Just thought I'd hang around during the call.”

  Then she was apparently done with me as she asked mom, “You're ok with the girls having an older child in consideration, I thought you'd be partial to the babies. They do have that new car smell.”

  Mom rolled her eyes. “They're all babies to me. And I'll be thrilled with whoever the girls choose. My family is growing.”

  I shot Mable a 'so there' look, then almost spit out my coffee when mom prompted her, “And when are you and Kerry going to be giving me more grandchildren?”

  The look of abject terror on Jessie's face was so priceless. I really loved how mom thought of the two as family like Jane, and I did.

  The red-headed amazon was saved when we heard someone at the door again, I started to smile, Jane had made it. But then Ker-Bear popped her head in and smiled down at the dogs who were there to greet her. She paid them a tithe of petting and then looked up to us. She grinned, “Tempe, Red, Mom-ish.” Then added when she looked at her wife, “I thought I was only one to sneak off early to see Luce's reaction.” Jess shrugged sheepishly.

  She kissed mom on the cheek, me on the head, and Jess on the lips, before flopping across her girl in the loveseat. She looked so Richard Gere in Officer and a Gentleman in her uniform. She had really filled out in all the right places, from the awkward little girls we had been. Sorry, women in uniform, well... and men in uniform, make me weak in the knees. You should see Jane in her dress blues. Yum!

  Where was I? Oh yeah, so apparently Ker had the same idea as Jess and was crashing our teleconference which was happening in. Gack! Two minutes. Jane wasn't here, and I wanted Luce to hear it from both of us. By all that is good and fluffy in the world. I started straightening up the magazines on the coffee table and... mom laid a hand on my arm, and I stopped. Right. Breathe in, breathe out.

  I almost tripped over my own feet... well fine, I tripped over my own feet and went stumbling toward the door when we again heard a key in the lock. I reached Jane just as the boys did, and I pulled her into a desperate hug.

  She kissed the top of my head and ran her fingers through my long, loose curls, as she whispered, “Hey, I said I'd be here, love.”

  With a nod into her chest, I centered myself. I released her, smoothed my skirt, hoping none of the ladies noticed my freaking out. Then sagged at the awws coming from the couches.

  I squawked when my computer started chiming. I quickly smoothed my skirt then scurried over to the office nook, squeaking out, “It's her.”

  Everyone gathered around, and Calvin showed Killer the proper step to observe all of us silly humans on. I licked my lips and stared at the incoming call, then reached out hesitantly. Jane exhaled and reached past me with humor painting her face as she hit accept.

  We all leaned in when a different room in the orphanage was displayed, it looked like some sort of office, and Luce was speaking tersely with her Irish accent to someone over her shoulder. “See? I told you, you lout. But they lasted longer than any of the...”

  I cleared my throat, and Luce spun to the camera, eyes wide in surprise and restrained excitement as her finger raised up to start touching her chin over and over in her nervous habit. “Finnegan, you...”

  She froze and then started worrying the back of her hand into her chin, pushing hard and up to her cheek. “You're not alone. Hello Sir Calvin, Jane, Finnegan, Jessie and Kerry.” She pointed toward us and whispered, “Yorkshire Terrier, bred in the nineteenth century in Yorkshire, England. The sixth most popular dog breed by registrations. I do not know him, nor you ma'am... you look like Finnegan.”

  Mom chuckled as I offered, “Luce O'C
onner, this is my mother, Winfred May, and her dog, Killer.”

  She said almost with reverence, “Mrs. May. Killer. It's a pleasure to meet you.” Then she asked, her face screwed up, her hand finally dropping from her face, “Does Killer, kill things? Like mice or rats? Is that why you named him that?”

  Mom chuckled and said, “The pleasure is ours. And the name was meant to be ironic, as he is so sweet, he couldn't hurt a fly.”

  The little redhead nodded sagely and stated, “Applying counter logic for humorous effect. That is amusing. You're sharp to have come up with such a contradiction.”

  I saw Mrs. Doyle pop her head into the room from one direction, and a cute chestnut brunette teen on the other side of the door, who had her long hair covering one side of her face where I could see heavy scarring, and a milky white eye. Mrs. Doyle waved. I waved back. She looked ready to burst from excitement.

  Luce narrowed her eyes at me then turned to look behind her. Then she was blurting as the others disappeared behind the door again, “Did you get a good look, you busybodies? Remember to natter on about it to the other plonkers in the hallway.”

  Jane, Mrs. Doyle, and I chastised, “Luce!”

  She looked around and scrunched her head to her shoulders as she crowded the camera to whisper conspiratorially, “Sorry. You're the talk of the home.” Then more normally, she shared, “Mrs. Doyle said you wanted to talk tonight. It is lights out in an hour, and I've still to organize my room to be sure everything is in its proper place. The other girls don't understand the importance of it.”

  I was nodding at her practicality. “Of course, chaos breeds chaos. It's best to nip it in the bud before it can spread.” I gave my three amazonian roommates the stink eye.

  Jess held her hands up in surrender.

  Luce looked smug as she called out over her shoulder loudly, “Exactly. I knew you'd understand.” Then more normally as she backed off from the camera, “I've read everything I can find about you and Jane online.”

  I couldn't help smiling because she gave us another of her real smiles, they were like little gifts that you cherished. Wait, she researched us? By the holy tug rope, I haven't thought of googling myself except for CPT and my dog walking service FinneganWalks. Hopefully, the interwebs have been kind.