Kiss of the Winter Moon

by Amanda LeMay

  “Hey there, Jessy.” DJ waved and walked straight to the stall where his little colt stood next to his mother.

  GW stood in the middle of the doorway, Spurs cap pulled down on his head, his hands in his pockets, looking bored as usual. The second Bobby’s blue eyes hit mine, an evil, lecherous smile spread on his hard face.

  “Well, well, sweet cheeks.”

  The sound of his voice made me want to reach out and pluck the tongue straight from his foul mouth. Instead, I put on my brightest face and greeted him right back.

  “Hey, Brittney.”

  Bobby’s face dropped just a hair as GW snorted behind him. He looked beyond me to the other end of the barn, nodded at Dain and called out, “Dain, how’s it hanging?”

  I glanced back to catch Dain’s tongue slowly move across his upper lip. To the casual observer, he might appear relaxed, leaning against the rail the way he was, but he was coiled tight, and licking his lips to wet them was not the purpose at all—he was checking his fangs.

  DJ opened the stall gate and slipped inside to take a better look at his colt. GW stepped closer, laid his arms across the top of the gate, and seemed to lose interest in what Bobby was up to.

  I walked over, pulled a flake of hay away from the bale, and crossed the barn to toss it in a feeding trough.

  Bobby tried to close the distance and I altered my path to keep at least ten feet between us at all times. He was definitely pushing his luck today.

  “Seems you’ve been cooped up here at this ranch ever since you got here, cupcake, so here’s what I’m gonna do for you.” His eyes flicked past me toward Dain as he lowered his voice in a way he clearly imagined was sexy and secretive. With Dain’s acute hearing, even though he was on the other side of the barn, not one word Bobby said would get past him. “There’s a dance tonight, nothing fancy. How ’bout I pick you up at say, seven, we’ll dance for a bit, then I’ll show you the town. Take you to a couple of places, a couple of private places, where we can get to know each other better.” His pale blue eyes traveled up and down my body, undressing me as he went.

  The horses suddenly stopped eating and stamped nervously in their stalls. The growl that emanated from Dain was much too low for Bobby to hear, but I knew he must have felt it because he shuddered and took a step back. Part of Bobby’s reaction to me was my fault, indirectly. A full moon tended to cause wolf hormones to send out mating signals that even humans picked up on. The other reason why he reacted the way he did might be because he had the impression I was a little bit frightened of him, which I was sure turned the generally horny bastard right on. I glanced down and, sure enough, the fabric of his faded jeans bulged out obscenely.

  “Listen, Betsy,” I gave him another bright smile before I lowered my voice to a whisper. “You need to back the hell off.”

  His eyes widened as the smirk fell from his mouth. His jaw clenched tight, the muscles in his face twitching.

  I lowered my voice even more and practically purred a threat. “I don’t like you, Barbara. I’m never gonna like you. The only thing that will ever be between you and me is Dain. And just so you know, you step foot on this ranch again or come anywhere near me at any time, you won’t live another day.”

  I stepped even closer, stared into those pale blue eyes that seemed to try so hard to hide his fear of me. A fear I knew he couldn’t understand or explain away, and it was damn good to see.

  “Come near me again and I will tear you apart, and no one will ever find a trace of you.”

  He blinked and took a couple of cautious steps back. His mouth moved, but he couldn’t seem to find a comeback. His back straightened as he narrowed his eyes at me.

  He grabbed his crotch with one hand and gave me the finger with the other. “Fuck you, bitch.”

  I clamped my jaws together not only to keep my fangs from emerging, but also to hold back the laughter that threatened to burst forth.

  The vibrations of Dain’s newest rumbling growl traveled right through my bones. I swung my head back around and gave him a hard stare to keep him in place. When I turned back to Bobby, he had stepped away a few paces, gooseflesh covering his arms. Energy swept through my blood as the wolf inside me recognized Bobby’s fear.

  That’s right, asshole, be afraid.

  Bobby’s eyes widened as the angles of my face sharpened. He backed away quicker this time, turned, and without another word, marched stiff-legged out of the barn.

  I sucked in a huge breath and stared at the ground. “Asshole.”

  When I looked up, GW was smiling, but not in a way that made me feel comfortable or friendly. The normally bland face held an evil, menacing grin, sending a clear message something bad was coming.

  “DJ, we’re outta here.” His voice was a deep baritone.

  “Yeah, wait a minute,” DJ said from inside the stall.

  “Now.” GW opened the stall gate and pulled DJ out by his shirt collar.

  “What the hell?” DJ sputtered as he tried to get his feet beneath him.

  GW looked back at me and nodded. “Time for some fun.”

  Bobby’s truck engine came to life as GW dragged DJ out into the yard. Two truck doors slammed and Bobby peeled off in a cloud of gravel and dirt.

  I was about to turn and compliment Dain on his extreme self-control when a sudden rush of pure possession slammed into me like a tidal wave. Hot breath hit the back of my neck seconds before my dress flew up over my head, but not before I caught a glimpse of black fur and long, sharp canines. I was twisted and turned, my back hitting the dirt floor. Through all the snarling and growling, there was a tug at my hips as my panties were ripped away. I batted at my dress, trying to uncover my face, but all I could see was red on white. My hips left the ground as my legs were folded up in the air, locked between two powerful arms. What rammed inside me felt like a hot steel rod, and I climaxed hard on the second, third, and fourth pounding thrusts.

  Dain!

  The sounds that came from my mouth were far from real words.

  Each forceful thrust that slammed into me pushed me across the barn floor, inches at a time, grinding gravel and dirt into my shoulders and the back of my head. I fought with the fabric that still covered my face and managed to pull it away.

  Above me, between my legs, was the most magnificent wolf I had ever seen.

  Dain wasn’t a Breeder, but he was holding his wolf form just as Breeders did, closer to human, his legs and arms covered in silky, black fur, and huge claws that dug deep into the ground. His massive wolf’s head, complete with enormous fangs flashed proudly as he snarled and snapped, staring off in the direction Bobby’s truck had gone.

  I could see nothing of his face except the underside of his elongated jaw. His chest rippled, his muscles strained. I locked my hands behind my thighs and lifted my hips even higher, rocking into him as he pounded into me with all his might.

  I held back the energy that threatened to sweep through me as my instinct to shift and mate with him tried to overwhelm me.

  No. No shifting. Not now.

  I wanted to experience Dain this way, to feel his possession of me, feel the dark, raw animal need he gave in to as he took me this way.

  The sounds that came from deep within his chest, the scent of his body mixed with mine, the pain in my shoulders, and the sight of his huge cock relentlessly hammering into me kicked off a firestorm inside me that would not stop.

  “Please,” I pleaded. “Please, Dain. Oh please, yes!” Letting go of my legs and grabbing his shoulders, I dug my nails through his fur all the way to his flesh. I held on for dear life and when he came, I had no doubt his fierce, roaring howl could be heard for miles and miles.

  I lay there beneath him, catching my breath, thanking the ancient gods I was so flexible. Every muscle in my body twitched. The smell of my own blood hit the air, and since I knew Dain hadn’t bitten me, it must have been from the scrapes on my shoulders. Not a problem. I’d heal within a couple of hours.

  If this was how
Breeder males staked their claim, I wanted him to claim me every damn day. But Dain wasn’t a Breeder. Having the ability to take this sacred form was extremely rare, especially if the male wasn’t a true Breeder in every way.

  My body gave off an involuntary shudder of pleasure and for the first time since he’d thrown me to the ground, Dain looked down at me. A fierce dominance flashed in his cherry-wood eyes as his lips curled up over long vicious teeth forming a ruthless, possessive sneer. He was still locked in that raw, animalistic mating mode, and if he were ready to go at it again, I was totally game.

  I wiggled my hips and ran my hands along the lines of his face, over his ears and down his thick, powerful neck. His face softened. A whine rose out of him and suddenly the Breeder was gone. Dain’s face stared into mine. I smiled.

  “That was...that was...” Sweet heavens, there were no words to describe the euphoric feelings rushing through me.

  He scrambled away from me, kicking up a cloud of dirt and hay. “Jessy! Oh Jessy, I’m so sorry. I never meant to...I’m so sorry!”

  He stared at me, his hair flying wildly around his face as he shook his head back and forth.

  Somehow, I felt his shock—his rising panic—in my soul, as if those feelings were my own.

  The sakana bond.

  It’s true.

  I’d heard, but didn’t fully believe, wolves who shared this bond felt each other’s emotions.

  I breathed in deep to slow my racing heart and spoke quietly, to reassure him. “It’s okay, Dain. I’m okay.”

  “Jessy, I attacked you!” His wide, horrified eyes skated over me then locked right between my legs. “I ripped your clothes off!”

  “I’m okay.” I spoke softly again as I sat up slowly. “I’m okay. I’m more than okay.” I reached out to touch him.

  He backed away another foot, shaking his head. “No, Jess, what I did is so far from okay.” He shivered as a cold sweat broke out over his skin. “I...I...” Guilt, regret, and shame poured off of him like a roaring river.

  “Dain, no, I’m fine. Please don’t—”

  He didn’t let me finish. Panic took him over and he shifted again. A large, shiny black wolf took the place of his human body and he ran full speed out of the barn.

  “Dain!” I called out after him. “Damn it!” Jumping up, I pulled my dress off up over my head, unhooked my bra, and shifted. Once I rounded the barn door, I saw him in the distance, a jet black shape, still running full-out. I might not be able to catch him, but he’d never be able to lose me, either.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  TIME PASSES DIFFERENTLY for wolves. There are no watches, no clocks to glance at. Only the rising and setting of the sun tells us the passage of the day. Chores are forgotten. Base instincts take over. The freedom of nature takes hold: the sights, the smells, and the sounds seep into our blood. In a sense, as wild as we are in that state, the earth has a calming effect.

  The winter sun never really leaves the horizon to cross overhead as it does during summer. It didn’t burn as brightly or warm me as deeply as Dain’s naked body had when I found him, lying on his side in the brown winter grass near a large pond. He didn’t get up and run, which I took as a good sign, but his eyes held a deep sadness I had never seen there before. It tore at my heart.

  I stayed in my wolf form and snuggled my body between his arms and against his chest. He didn’t fight or push me away. His strong hand stroked my fur gently, from the tip of my nose to my hip. We lay there watching the sun cross the sky for some time before he sighed and cleared his throat.

  “Need to tell you something, Jessy. A secret I’ve never told anyone. Something you need to understand before—before we go any further.”

  I rubbed my face against his arm and licked the sweat from his clean skin. If revealing his secrets to me was easier this way, fine. Sometimes it’s hard to look into the eyes of your loved ones and open your soul.

  “When I turned eighteen, Rand took me to a hotel in San Antonio. He was a regular there, I guess. Two women were in the room when we got there. Two humans. He said they were there to break me in. I refused and tried to leave. He threw me in a chair. Got in my face. Said I had to grow the fuck up. Said being a man meant I had to do things I didn’t want to. He said I had to watch and learn. And I did. I watched. That was the worst part. I felt so fucking helpless. I tried to turn away. I tried to hide what was happening to me. He sent one of the women over. She tried to go slow, tried to be nice, but when she knelt in front of me and touched me, I almost cried. I was so ashamed. I shoved her away, and she fell on her ass.”

  A long, shuddering sigh left him.

  “Rand had never hit me before, ever. He didn’t seem to care enough about me to bother, but when I shoved that woman, he went ballistic. His fist hit me so hard I blacked out.” His deep voice trembled and tightened. “When I came to...”

  His breath hitched as his hand stilled its constant, soothing movement on my fur.

  I waited, held my rising anger in.

  “I woke up, on my knees, bent over the bed. My head all fuzzy...and some kind of... pressure...something weird...inside of me. Uncomfortable, but...in a good way, if you know what I mean. Rand moaned, said a bunch of shit I didn’t want to hear.” He paused again as a violent shudder traveled through him. “His hands dug into my hips and...”

  During Dain’s silence, horrible pictures played through my head of what that sonofabitch-cocksucking-bastard Rand had done, and none of what I imagined could ever compare to what Dain relived with each word that came out of his mouth.

  And he never told anyone?

  Dain took another deep breath. His hand started that soothing motion again.

  “The second I realized what was going on, I puked all over the bed. Rand laughed. He fucking laughed his ass off. I wanted to kill him, Jessy. I didn’t care if those women were still there or not. That was the first time I shifted into that Breeder form. I had no idea I could. I don’t have the...well, you know, the right equipment.” A sad chuckle slipped out of him. “Shocked the hell out of Rand. Scared the shit out of him, too. I tasted his fear. I wanted to kill him. Kill him. He didn’t fight back. Didn’t shift. Didn’t try to defend himself in any way. Just lay on the other bed where he’d screwed those women, spread eagle like he was waiting for the end to come. He just...lay there...and I stood staring at him, fighting the urge to rip his guts out.”

  He paused several seconds. I licked his forearm to coax him on.

  “The humans were gone. I don’t know what I would’ve done if they’d seen me go through the change. Doesn’t matter now. I shifted back, told him if he ever came near me again, I’d kill him. I threw my clothes on and took off.”

  His hand stopped moving over my fur.

  “When you asked me if I had ever made love before, it felt like a lie when I said no. I understand what he did to me doesn’t count. What Rand did, it wasn’t out of love.”

  He paused, sniffled, and the sound of his torment, the deep, crushing feel of his pain, tore at my soul.

  “When I found him after the challenge, he said he wanted to tell me something. I told him I didn’t want to hear any apologies, and he laughed, or tried to. Blood was coming out of his mouth in a steady stream so he gagged and coughed pretty bad, but that didn’t stop him from getting in the last word. Said he wouldn’t apologize for enjoying himself. Wouldn’t apologize for what he did to me and wanting to do that to me every night since then. He said I was nothing but another nice piece of ass to him.”

  Why? How? How could someone who was supposed to love you, nurture you, be so hateful and mean and cruel?

  “Rand isn’t my father. He knew I wasn’t his son. So yeah, I was nothing to him.”

  I wanted to dig up Rand’s bones, pour gasoline on them, and burn them until nothing was left, not even black ash. But right then, Dain needed me to hear him out. I sucked in a calming breath and waited for him to go on.

  “Mom had been in heat twice in the ten years the
y’d been mated, but never conceived. Rand had himself checked. He was sterile and never told her. He had her believing it was her fault. The last time her heat hit at the full moon, he left her. Said he didn’t need that humiliation again. He left, and instead of going to the caverns, he went to San Antonio to screw some other wolf. When he came back, mom came to him and because she begged him to, he bred with her, twice. A couple of weeks later, his brother, Arnou, came around visiting, and after he left, mom was all happy. Arnou is a Breeder—he checked her out, you know, the way Breeders do, and mom had conceived. Rand said he knew then his brother and my mom had been together the night of the full moon, because there was no way the offspring belonged to him. Instead of getting angry, Rand was glad. All of Arnou’s other offspring are Breeders, so maybe the offspring mom carried would be a Breeder, too. He’d use it to his advantage and gain some recognition. Stop living in his brother’s shadow. Then I was born, and of course he saw immediately I’m not a Breeder. He said he should’ve killed me. Said he should’ve taken me out to the nearest watering trough and drowned my ass like a mongrel pup, then killed my mom for cheating on him. I never told my mom any of this. I should have though. I should have told her but...I can’t. She’s so happy. None of it matters now.”

  My loving sakana had held that secret in, never told anyone other than me. The pack would have torn Rand apart, but first, Dain would’ve had to stand in front of him, stand in front of the entire pack at a tribunal, and give testimony on what Rand had done. Even though what happened was not Dain’s fault, the humiliation, the shame Dain still felt, forced to share that helplessness with his pack, would’ve killed his beautiful soul.

  I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed the touch of his skin on my skin. I needed to feel that contact. Needed to wrap my arms around him and just hold him. I shifted and lay there naked, my back against his chest, my arms over his arms. He pulled me in closer and tucked his leg in between mine as I twined my fingers through his fingers.

  My words came out choked and tight. “I am so sorry.”