Always Fraser

by A. K. Steel

  “You did the right thing, you can't lead him on if you're not interested.”

  “Was I leading him on?”

  “No, not at all. I just meant, it's best to let him know now. He’s a big boy, he’ll be fine.” She pats me on the leg, “Come on, this is a happy day. We’re celebrating moving onto bigger and better things.”

  “I’m happy,” I mutter, faking a smile.

  “Nice try.” She gives me her best smile back.

  “I’m going to get going. Looks like the party’s wrapping up anyway.” I say my goodbyes, leaving Indie chatting to Rachel, and start the short walk to Mum and Dad’s for the afternoon. I wish Drew was around. It's times like this I need him. Our phone conversation yesterday wasn’t much help. He sounded distracted. When he’s back competing, he can be vague. He puts everything he’s got into working out and doing what he can to be at his best. Guess my silly boyfriend problems aren’t really that important when you're trying to be the number one surfer in the world.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Elena

  I am woken to a sudden thump on the bed next to me and roll over to see a smiling Indie, all bouncing and excited.

  “What are you doing? It’s early Sunday morning, my sleep-in day,” I grumble, slapping her away. She rolls out of my bed, pushing back the curtains, blinding me with daylight. I shield my eyes with my hands, but there's no chance I’ll go back to sleep now.

  “Not today. We're going to the beach. It's going to be a beautiful day. See? Look how stunning it is out there. We can't just lie about all day in bed, and besides, Blake and I have decided we need to get you out of the house. Get some colour on that skin of yours,” she teases. She’s way too enthusiastic for this time of the morning, and on a Sunday, I would prefer lazing about feeling sorry for myself.

  “Sorry I’m not tanned year-round like you! Why does Blake care, anyway?”

  “He misses you, Elly. Come on, we need fun Elly back.” She's pouting her lips at me now and giving me the sad puppy-dog eyes.

  I push the covers back, defeated. “Okay, you win, I’ll come, but why do we have to leave so early?”

  “To get a good spot. It's school holidays. It's going to be packed down there with all the tourists. Come on, get up, we're spending the day down there. I’ve packed lunch already, and Theo and Fi will meet us down there.”

  “Grr, give me time to wake up and have a shower.”

  “Atta girl, you might even have fun,” she says with a wink, leaving me to get ready.

  After a shower I’m feeling much more enthusiastic for a beach day. Maybe Indie’s peppiness is rubbing off on me. I think it's just what I need. Maybe Indie’s right, it is a beautiful day, and I can feel the warmth of the sun calling my name from my room. I wonder where my swimmers and hat are. I haven’t had to use them since the move. I rummage through my wardrobe and find my floppy straw hat and pineapple bikini. This will have to do. I throw my bikini on with a simple white cotton dress over the top. Some lip gloss and waterproof mascara to finish the look. No makeup today; what's the point if I’m going to have to cover it in sunscreen as soon as we get down there?

  Indie and I walk down to the beach, passing all the cute touristy shops on our way. Luckily we live so close with the amount of items Indie’s bringing with us. I feel like a packhorse. We’ve got a picnic basket she tells me is full of food for the whole day (she must be forgetting how much Theo eats), an umbrella, some sort of ball game, towels, and sunscreen. She really has thought of it all.

  As we walk closer, I can make out the shadowy figures of Theo, Fi, and Blake, and one other, Fraser. I knew there was more to this little day at the beach than she originally let on. She just loves playing matchmaker and this is right up her alley. I’m surprised she hadn’t tried something like this sooner.

  “Forget to mention Fraser would be here, did you? I would hit you, but my hands are full,” I say, glaring at her. She has a smug smile on her face.

  “Did I? I thought I told you that. Sorry, too late to back out now, though, they’ve seen us,” she says, raising the arm with the umbrella in it to wave.

  “Hmm, convenient, Indie. I will remember this.”

  “What! Don’t give me a hard time, Elly. It's time you two got your shit together. He’s been the perfect gentleman for weeks now, trying his best to win you back. Don't you think it's time you forgave him so you two can get on with your happy lives together? Plus, I want to be a bridesmaid at your wedding, so you need to work it out before I’m old and ugly,” she says, batting her eyelashes at me.

  “What are you on about, there's no wedding. You do remember what he did, don’t you? You were the one saying I needed to get over him, he wasn’t worth it, now you're team Fraser all of a sudden.”

  “Yeah, but we didn't have all the facts then, did we? Now we do. I kind of get why he acted that way, don't you?”

  “Yeah, but I don't want him to think I’m some weak little pushover who’ll allow him to treat me badly.”

  “I’m pretty sure he doesn’t think that. You scare the shit out of us when you're mad! He’s done his time, Elly. He knows he fucked up, and from what Blake tells me, he's been through hell with this psychologist over the past month working through all his past traumas. He needs you. Do you still want to be with him?”

  “Of course I do. How could you even ask that?”

  “Don’t you think it's time then?”

  “Maybe,” I shrug. She is right. It's been two weeks since he came and told me about his family situation. I really do need to see him and work this all out.

  Fraser sees us coming and his eyes are fixed on me as I make my way down the beach. All of a sudden, I’m feeling very self-conscious of my lack of makeup. Why didn’t I take a bit longer to get ready? I should have known Indie was up to something. Fraser’s lying on his towel, shirt off, his broad chest on full display. I’d almost forgotten how hot he was with his shirt off. Man, today's going to be hard.

  We finally arrive in the middle of the beach where they’ve set up camp for the day. It felt like an eternity dragging all this stuff with us. The boys jump up to help us get everything set up.

  “Hey, you guys are finally here,” calls Fiona excitedly.

  “Sorry, I couldn’t get Elly out of bed,” Indie says, and I throw her a death stare.

  “It's a Sunday. How are you lot so happy about being up so early?”

  “Wow, you girls brought the whole set-up,” grumbles Blake, trying to work out the umbrella.

  “It pays to be prepared, Blake, you’ll thank me later when you need something,” explains Indie, taking over with the umbrella, showing him how it's done.

  “You know you live around the corner and could go home at any time if you need something, right?”

  “Yes, but I would prefer not to,” Indie bites back, laying out her towel. I think they’ve been spending too much time together, they're starting to sound like an old married couple.

  Fraser’s standing behind me, after laying my towel out on the sand for me. He whispers in my ear, “Elly, you look gorgeous as always.” His words leaving a scattering of goosebumps down my arms. He still has the same effect on me. This is why I have been avoiding him. I have no idea how he does it, but my body is on high alert whenever he’s around me. My skin tingling, my lips waiting for his—ah, what am I saying? Stop daydreaming like it’s old times! It's not, this is the same dick that broke your heart not that long ago.

  “Thank you,” I smile.

  “Come for a walk with me, I want to show you something.”

  “Okay. You going to put a shirt on?” My eyes can't help but roam over his chest, remembering how he felt under my touch.

  He raises a brow at me, “Why, you getting excited?”

  “No, just worried you might get sunburnt, it's pretty hot today,” I tease with a little smirk.

  “That's not what your eyes are saying. Are you offering to help me out and rub sunscreen on for me?"

  I s
hake my head. The last thing I need to do is touch him right now, I'm already not thinking straight.

  "Think I’ll leave it off. Take my chances with the sun then.” He grins back at me; he knows what he's doing, he doesn't play fair.

  I swallow the lump forming in my throat. Well, this is going to make it hard to concentrate on what he wants to talk about. Already all I can think about is how his muscular chest would feel under my hands.

  We walk up the beach a little.

  “How’s your dad going?” he asks.

  “Really well, starting to look like his old self again. But you already knew that cause you’ve been going to visit him every couple of days.”

  “Yeah, I have. Still, just checking. I didn’t see him yesterday.”

  “How’s your dad, Fraser? Is he still staying here?” So, we're doing awkward small talk. I’m not sure what else to say. I want to jump into his arms, run my hands through his hair, while he kisses me.

  “They left last week for a new adventure up the coast.”

  “It must be nice to be able to pack up and leave, just go wherever you feel like, whenever you like.”

  “Yeah, it suits them perfectly. It was nice to have him home for a while, though, I needed it more than I knew.”

  “Yeah, I bet. I’m glad you had that time with them. Are you guys good with each other after everything that happened?”

  We have stopped walking now and stand side by side looking out over the water. If I make eye contact with him, I’m gone, I just know it.

  “Yeah, we’ve talked it all through. We're as good as we can be. It's never going to be perfect, but I’m lucky to have someone who cares about me so much. He’s such a good man. I only hope I can be as good a dad as he is one day when I have kids.”

  I look over to him; is he serious? “Fraser Davis thinking about having a family one day. Who is this psychologist? And what has she done with the boy I once knew?”

  His eyes come back to mine and his face softens a little. “It's time to grow up, Elly. The last month has been really hard, but it’s what I needed, and now I've got a really clear vision of what I want for my life.” He offers me a smile. He’s looking like his old self again.

  He sits down on the sand and pats the spot next to him for me to sit with him.

  “I’ve got something I want to show you. I hope you're as excited about it as me. I’m nervous to show you in case you're not.”

  “Nervous? You're never nervous about anything. What is it?”

  “Yeah, but this is something I really want to work.” He pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through. “It's this.” On the screen of his phone is a photo of an empty block of land.

  “What is this?”

  “You know how much you loved the town of Broken Point when we were working on the townhouses there? Well, a couple of weeks ago, I saw this come up for sale. It's a couple of blocks back from the beach and on a massive plot of land, it's perfect.” He looks up at me, his grey eyes melting the walls I’ve put up.

  “It looks great! Are you boys doing a new development there?” I say excitedly.

  “I bought it,” he smiles sheepishly.

  “Are you serious? This looks amazing, I’m so happy for you, Fraser, this is exciting. So I guess you will be designing your place to put on there? I knew Blake wanted to build his own home, but I didn’t know you were looking to settle in one place.”

  “I’ll be designing our own place to put on the block. I bought it for us, Elly. I’ve been saving for quite a while, and now I have someone I want to do this with. We can build a home for us to live in. I know I said I would wait, and I will wait as long as you need, but you're the only one I see in my future, and I’m kind of hoping this will be the start of a new life for us. A life where we work together so we can both be happy. So, I’ll do the architectural designs, but I want you to do the interiors so we can design it together.”

  “For us? I don’t know what to say. I’m in absolute shock!” I take the phone from him and look at the block again. He bought this for us?

  “The block can sit there as long as we need, we don’t need to rush into anything if you're not ready for it.”

  I have no idea how to process this. I sit looking at the photo of the block on his phone again. Is he serious, a block of land for us to build our dream home on? I should be angry with him for making this decision without me, but I’m not. This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, not buying the block, but making the commitment to our future together, and he did it knowing I could reject him. I can't help it, my face breaks into a massive smile.

  “So I take it, by the smile, you’re happy? I did the right thing?” He looks so nervous, still waiting for me to reply.

  “Yes.” I wrap my arms around his neck and bring our faces together. “Yes, good decision.” Our lips meet, and our kiss is perfection. God, I have missed him. His stubble brushes my face as my hands roam through his hair. He swipes his tongue into my waiting mouth. I hear a couple of kids laughing, and I’m suddenly aware that I’m now straddling him, in the middle of the beach, on a Sunday morning. A bit too much for the poor passers-by. I shift away and stand up, pulling him with me. “Come on, we should get back to the others.”

  “Elly, what's this?” He runs his finger over my wrist.

  “Oh, that, um, it's a little coffee cup.”

  “Why do you have a tattoo of a little coffee cup on your wrist?”

  “It's a long story, but Indie’s got one too. It's kind of a bestie thing.”

  He raises his eyebrow at me. “That surprises me less because she's covered in tattoos. I can't believe you got one, even if it is small, the way you are with needles.”

  “It wasn’t a pretty sight! But luckily it was over quickly. I was very brave,” I say, laughing.

  He runs his finger over it again. “I feel like I’ve missed so much over the last couple of months. I’m so sorry, Elly.”

  “It is what it is. It's all done now, so let's just concentrate on the future. Come on, we better get back to the rest of them.” I try to pull him along, but he stands still.

  “Oh, I just want you all to myself a bit longer.” His lips are on mine again, pulling me into his body for another kiss. Then down onto the sand with him. The rest of the world disappears as we kiss in a tangled mess. All I can think of is him, his hands on my skin, the feel of his bare chest pressing against mine, and the hardness I feel pushing into me. He’s missed me all right. Right now, I can feel how much.

  He pulls away this time, looking into my eyes. “We're in this together now, Elly, I won't run again.”

  “I know, Fraser. This is it now.” He looks happy with that answer and gives me one more small kiss.

  “Okay, let's get back to them then. We have some exciting news to tell.” The smile on his face is priceless. I think this is the happiest I have ever seen him.

  “Fraser, before we do, let's get a few things straight. I will be paying half the mortgage. I don’t need you to take care of me. If we're in this together, I want to be equal.”

  “Let's work out the details later and just enjoy the moment, hey, ‘Miss Independent’.”

  “You can't start calling me that too, you’ve been talking to my dad too much.” He just laughs at me.

  We walk back up the beach to the others, hand in hand.

  “Finally.” Indie jumps up all excited and comes over to hug us. “Nice to see you two have worked things out.”

  “Calm down, Indie,” I say with a smile.

  “We’re heading in for a swim. You two coming?” calls Blake.

  It's been such a beautiful sunny day. It's only September, but you can tell winter is over and we're going into my favourite time of year, where the days are longer and warmer. And after our chat this morning, it feels like everything's about to get a whole lot better.

  We’ve been for a swim, then attempted to play the beach volleyball game that Indie brought, but it got too competitive, so
we pulled the pin. The lunch Indie brought for us is delicious.

  The boys have gone back into the water. We finish off our lunch and laze around on our towels.

  “Hey, Elly, why aren’t you eating like your normal piggy self?” Fiona asks. “If you don’t eat it, I’m going to have to. I can't help myself, this baby is a hungry one.” She pats her stomach.

  “Hey, thanks! I don't eat like a pig!”

  “Not today anyway,” Fiona and Indie say, both laughing at me.

  “I don’t know, I just haven’t been feeling well lately. Food’s hard to stomach.”

  “Sounds like you're pregnant to me,” scoffs Fiona, laughing at her own joke.

  Indie hits me on the arm “That's it! Fi’s right, it does sound like you're pregnant.”

  “Really funny, girls.”

  Her eyes have gone wide and she looks scared. “No, really think about it, Elly, you have felt sick for a couple of months now, you haven’t been yourself. I think Fi’s onto something here.”

  “Don’t be silly. That’s just all the stress worrying about Dad.” They’re looking between each other, like I’m missing something that they understand completely.

  “Stop that.”

  “Doesn’t explain the blockbusters, there's more than stress going on there,” Indie adds, pointing to my tits.

  “Hey!” I cover myself up. She’s right, though, these things will barely fit in my bikini. I was thinking it must have shrunk. “There's no way I’m pregnant. You have to have sex for that to happen, and if you two remember correctly, I’ve been moping around the house by myself for the last couple of months.”

  “Yeah, but before that you weren't. You might be a few months along. I didn’t work out I was pregnant until I missed my second period. I was busy with work and just hadn’t thought about it. By the time I took the test, we were already eight weeks along.”

  “Yeah, but the last time I had sex was like two and a half months ago. If I was pregnant, I would have known by now. You would be able to tell, right? Plus, we always used protection.”