Always Fraser

by A. K. Steel

  But if I think back to that last night, did we? I don’t remember him stopping to grab protection. We missed each other, we were in the moment, and I’m pretty sure he was drunk too. Now that I think back, after everything he said the other day… shit, maybe we didn’t. But I’m on the pill so should be fine, yeah, I’m sure it's fine. If I’m fine, though, why are my hands all of a sudden so sweaty?

  “You’ve gone pale, Elly, you okay?” asks Indie. I can tell she’s worried.

  “I'm on the pill, so even if we didn’t use protection, I would’ve been covered, so I’m not, it’s all good.” My heart is beating faster, and my hands are all shaky. I don't want kids yet. I’m not, I can't be.

  “When was your last period?” asks Fi.

  “Um, this sounds bad, but I have no idea. I’m on the pill. I just take it until I start to spot, then I have a week off for a period. It only happens every three to four months, and now that I think about it, it's been a while. Like, maybe before I started hooking up with Fraser. I don’t know when.”

  “Shit, Elly, we need to get you a test!” says Fi.

  “No, I’m fine, it's not that, it can't be. Not now when things are starting to work out. I’m just stressed at the moment, that's all.” I shake my hands out, trying to stop them from shaking.

  The boys start to make their way out of the water. “Don’t either of you say anything of this to them,” I say, pointing to the boys. “I know what Theo is like with information. He’ll run back to Mum and Dad with it and the whole town will think I’m pregnant by dinner.” I give them my best death stare and they signal that their lips are sealed.

  Now what do I do? I’m not. I couldn’t be, could I? Do I get a test and see or just stop taking my pills to see if my period comes? Why did they have to put this in my head? Here I was thinking my luck was changing and I could just relax, and now I’ve got something new to worry about. Even worse, if I am pregnant, Fraser is going to freak out. There's no way he’s ready for a kid. He’s going to run for it again, and I’m going to be left to deal with this alone.

  The boys come and stand over us dripping, making us wet. “Hey, what are ya doing?” I scream.

  “You girls looked hot, thought we would cool you down,” teases Theo, as they all laugh at each other. I should’ve known this was his idea.

  We jump up and dry off.

  Fi’s packing up. “It’s probably time for us to get going, Theo. We have stuff to do this arvo and Elly has just realised she has forgotten to do something important, she better get home and do it.”

  I look over to her and shake my head. She's so subtle. Not! Bloody Theo will be questioning her all the way home now. “Think I’m going to head home too,” I say, starting to pack up.

  Fraser wraps his wet arms around me, pulling me into him. “Can I come home with you? I don’t want to rush you, but I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you too. How about you give me time to have a shower and get myself ready. Then I just have to drop in and see Mum and Dad. I’ll come round to your place after that so we can do something tonight and celebrate.”

  “You okay, gorgeous? You don't look right,” Fraser asks.

  “Yeah, I think so, just too much sun.”

  “Okay, I’ll see you tonight.” He kisses me goodbye, and Indie and I head back to our apartment. I need to get a test before tonight. I can’t wait any longer. I want to know what I’m dealing with.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Fraser

  There's a knock at the door, that’ll be Elly. She must be keen to see me again, she’s earlier than we agreed.

  I open the door. “Well, this is a pleasant surprise, couldn’t stay away from me any longer, hey?”

  “No, no, it's not... We need to talk, Fraser.” She looks sick. She's white as a ghost.

  “Okay, what's wrong? You don’t look so good.” I take her hand and lead her into the house. "Do you need some water or something?"

  “It's not good. This is bad, very bad, Fraser. I’m freaking out.” She's pacing back and forth and running her hands through her hair.

  “What is it, Elly? You're starting to scare me. Has something happened with your dad?”

  “No, Dad’s fine... Oh my goodness, I can't do this, I can't even tell you.” Her breathing is short and sharp. She looks like she’s about to have a panic attack. She's really freaking out. She's shaking her head and muttering to herself.

  I wrap my arms around her, trying to comfort her. “Hey, hey, come on, Elly, just breathe. I’m not sure what could have happened that's so bad since I saw you a couple of hours ago, but whatever this is, it’ll be fine, we can work it out together. Come on, just slow down your breathing or you're going to pass out.” I walk her over to the lounge. “Come and sit down. I'll get you some water.” I help her sit down then run into the kitchen to fill a glass of water and run back to her. “Here, this will make you feel better.”

  She shakes her head. Her eyes are big and scared-looking. She slowly drinks some of the water then sits there staring at it. She won't even look at me. “Nothing can make this better, Fraser, nothing.”

  “Well, Cherie thinks the best thing to do, when something seems all too much, is to talk to someone about it and work out a solution together. Nothing is ever so bad you can't work it out.”

  “Cherie?”

  “My psychologist.”

  “Oh, well, she's wrong this time. When I tell you, it's going to make you freak out too.”

  I put a finger under her chin to raise her face to mine. “Come on, look at me, Elly.” Her eyes rise to look at me and they’re welling with tears. “Just tell me. What is it?”

  She opens her handbag and hands over a long pink-and-white stick. “There are two blue lines,” is all she can say.

  “Is this what I think it is?” She nods her head and bursts into tears.

  “It’s okay, Elly. Everything's going to be all right.” I wrap my arms around her as she cries into my neck. I can't believe that she's pregnant. This is insane!

  We sit with our arms wrapped around each other until her tears calm down. I pull her back to look at her again, wiping the last of her tears away with my thumb. “It’s going to be okay. We can work this out. Do you know how far along you are?”

  “I don’t know. The last time I had sex was the night you left. So maybe twelve weeks, according to the Google search I did, but it could be longer?”

  “So it’s mine?” I half joke with a cheeky smile. But it has been a while since we were together, she could have been with someone else, I guess.

  “Of course it is! Who else would it be?” she cries, slapping me across the chest.

  “Sorry, I was just joking, trying to lighten the mood.” Thank God, I couldn't handle the thought of her with someone else.

  “Not funny, Fraser! Why aren’t you freaking out, like me?”

  “I don’t know, Elly. I just don’t feel like this is a bad thing. I know I’ve fucked up royally with you these last couple of months, but I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time. You’re my girl and the only one I could ever imagine having a family with. I know we're still just working things out, but I’m here for you, and I’ll be here for our baby too, even if it's just as your friend,” I say, grabbing her hand.

  “You love me?” Her eyes meet mine. She looks so unsure. How could she not know how I feel about her? It’s now I realise how one-sided things have always been. She’s right, I’ve been so selfish. She's so open with me, but I’m so guarded. I never really give her my all, worried I will get hurt myself, but I’ve hurt her all along instead.

  I cup her face with my hands and stare into her beautiful eyes. “I always have, I just have a stupid way of showing it.”

  “You can say that again! I’m so scared, Fraser. I don’t think I can do this. I’m not ready to be a mum.”

  “Gorgeous, you don’t have to do this alone, we're in this together. I’ll be here every step of the way. I promise I will never leave you
again.”

  Her beautiful sad eyes stare into mine. Her cheeks have tear stains running down them and her mascara is smeared under her eyes, but she's still the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. And to think she's carrying our baby.

  My hands go to the back of her head. I lace my fingers through her long hair as I kiss her slowly. “I love you, Elly.” She nods as she kisses me back. I pick her up, pulling her onto my lap. As we continue to kiss, her hair falls around her face. She smells like vanilla and coconut, it smells like her, like coming home. Her soft lips are salty from her tears, and I kiss her again, trying to kiss away the fear she’s feeling.

  I wrap my arms around her. I want her to feel safe with me. I know I’ve screwed up in the past, but I want her to feel my arms around her now and know I’ve got her. I will be here for her through all of this.

  She responds by kissing me back, more passionately now, and when she pulls back to look at me, I can see the look in her eyes has changed. There's that hint of naughtiness there.

  “I’ve missed you, Fraser,” she whispers into my lips, kissing me.

  “I’ve missed you too, Elly.” My hands wrap around her tighter and I pull her into me, kissing her back with intensity. She's in my arms, where she belongs, and I never want to let her go again.

  “My body’s missed you,” she mumbles into my mouth. She slightly grinds herself on me and my cock instantly springs to life, and I suddenly feel like my pants are way too tight.

  She kisses down my neck then back to my lips more aggressively, and I match her. It's been far too long. I need to feel her body close to mine. My hands run through her hair as I hold her close to me, as her lips smash with mine desperately. We can't get enough of each other, it’s been too long apart.

  She slowly stands up, pulling my hands to follow her down the hallway to my room. She removes my shirt over my head as I lift her dress over hers. We stand chest to chest, hugging each other’s bodies, feeling the familiar closeness and warmth of our skin to skin.

  This is new territory for me. For the first time in my life, I’m not sure what to do in the bedroom. I want to rip off her clothes and fuck her hard, like I normally would, but I’m scared I’ll hurt the baby. Is that a thing? Can you hurt the baby? Surely people fuck all the time while they're pregnant, but I’m just wrapping my head around this new information, and I have absolutely no idea. I rest my hand on her belly, rubbing my finger back and forth, and her hand comes to rest on mine. Neither of us say a thing but just feel this moment together and what it means.

  She takes the first move, rising on to her tippy toes to kiss me, her hands in my hair as she pulls me in closer to her and our kiss intensifies. I can feel her touch dust over my arms as she makes her way down my body, her fingers making quick work of my belt buckle, and she unzips my pants, dropping them to the floor. I undo her bra, sliding it down her arms and freeing those fantastically round, perky tits of hers. My hands go straight to them, cupping them and massaging. “I’ve missed your tits.”

  “Of course you have,” she groans, rolling her eyes at me.

  “They're fucking huge, Elly.”

  “I know.” She lowers her head, burying it in her hands like she's embarrassed. I kick the rest of my pants off then slowly navigate her towards my bed, pushing her down onto the mattress. I take her left breast in my mouth, circling her nipple and sucking hard, making her moan in pleasure. Then I take the other and do the same thing. Her body is extra responsive, and every little move I make has her moaning and raising her hips off the bed, looking for more.

  I make my way down to her panties, hooking them with my thumbs and dragging them down her long legs, discarding them on the floor. Then I’m back between her legs, spreading them wide. I bury my face in her pussy, tasting her. Man, I’ve missed this, it’s fucking heaven. I lick her, circling my tongue around her clit.

  Her hands go to the back of my head as she starts to ride my face, her hips slowly moving back and forth. “Fuck, Fraser, that feels so good, don’t stop.” She moans, applying more pressure to my head as I slide my fingers into her dripping pussy. Then with my free hand, I reach for her breast, squeezing her nipple while working her clit with my tongue. I pump my fingers in and out as she arches her back off the bed, moaning in pleasure. I can feel her pussy tighten. “Fuck, Fraser, fuck,” she cries out as she convulses around my fingers, completely letting go as she rides through her orgasm.

  “Mmmm, Fraser, that was so good... more, I want more,” she mutters. Running her hand over her body and reaching down for me. “I want to feel you inside me.”

  I look back at her, not sure what to do. I want to fuck her badly too, but how does this work?

  She looks at me, confused. “Fraser, I need you inside me. What are you waiting for, no condom needed this time?”

  “Um, I’m just worried about… well, you know, that I’m going to hurt the baby?”

  She looks down at me and her face breaks into a huge smile. “Oh, baby, it’s so nice you care so much, but right now all you need to worry about is keeping me happy. We're not going to hurt the baby, get up here and fuck me.”

  She doesn’t have to tell me twice. “Spread your legs wider,” I command.

  She does what I say with the sexiest fucking smile I have ever seen. I lift her legs so they're over mine and run my cock up and down her slick folds, teasing her as I push straight in, balls deep.

  She closes her eyes and moans, “Yes, Fraser. Fuck, it feels good to have you inside me again.” I dig my fingers into her hips as she rises off the bed to meet my rhythm. Fuck, this is so good, our bodies moving together like they were made for this, for each other. I tease her with every pump, in and out. Her eyes are on mine, silently begging me for more, and as I pick up the pace, her lips go into a perfect O shape as her eyes roll back in her head.

  “Elly, you need to come.” I can feel my balls tighten as she screams out my name, riding her orgasm. I cover her mouth with mine, swallowing her cries of pleasure in my kiss.

  “You’re mine, Elly, forever.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Fraser

  Today has been unlike any other. We had the first ultrasound appointment and got to see our baby. The radiologist places Elly at about thirteen weeks along. Seeing that little bean on the screen, and hearing the heart beating, was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.

  I think this week we’ve both finally come to terms with the fact that we’re going to be parents. And watching Elly’s beautiful smiling face as she watched our baby move around on the ultrasound screen tells me she's not freaking out anymore. She wants this as much as I do. We’re going to be a family.

  From the ultrasound appointment, we went straight to visit Jim and Anne to share our news. They were both surprised but very excited for us. Then we called Dad and Janice. I could hear Janice’s excited scream through the phone. She never had any kids of her own, but I can tell this is going to be one spoiled grandbaby.

  I almost have to pinch myself at how quickly things have turned around for me. For the first time in my life, I look into the future and can see only good things. My own little family in the beautiful home we built together, full of love and happiness. This may have happened a little earlier than we would have planned, but this baby will know every day how loved they are.

  We're back at Elly’s apartment now, lying on her bed. She was exhausted after our day and needed an afternoon nap. I look over to her. Her eyes are still closed with her golden locks falling around her face, she looks perfect. As if feeling my gaze, she starts to stir, rolling over. I pull her into my body, resting my hand on her belly. You can’t even tell by looking at her that she's pregnant. Other than the massive tits, she looks the same, but after seeing that image on the screen, I feel like putting my hand on her belly so I connect with our baby. She rests her hand on top of mine, and I brush her hair away from her neck so I can kiss her.

  “We should go out for dinner tonight. We could meet up with Blake
and Indie and tell them our good news,” I say.

  “I think Indie already knows. It was her and Fi that guessed, that's why I took the test,” she mutters sleepily.

  “Well, we can go out and officially announce our news and celebrate with them.”

  “That sounds nice. Can we get Mexican?”

  I kiss her neck. “Anything you want, gorgeous.”

  “Good, because I’m starving, and I've been thinking about tacos all day. I’ll message Indie.” She sits up, stretching and pulling her hair into a messy bun on top of her head. She grabs her phone off the bedside table, typing the text. “Indie’s in,” she says, smiling into her phone as she returns it to her bedside.

  I roll over and text Blake, a reply bouncing back straight away. “Blake’s in. He’ll meet us at six. So we’d better get up and get ready.”

  Elly jumps up, opening her wardrobe. I assume she’s searching for the perfect outfit for dinner.

  I message Blake back and put my phone down. As soon as I do, another message bounces in, and I see a message from Shea.

  Elly looks back to me for the response from Blake. “What's wrong, why are you looking at your phone and frowning?”

  “Um, yeah. I’m just not sure what to do?” I say, double-checking my phone to make sure I've read the text correctly.

  “About what?” She’s back to looking through her wardrobe, grabbing items of clothing and arranging them on the bed.

  “Shea has just messaged to say there is some paperwork she needs me to sign tonight. It’s for the townhouses, but I can’t for the life of me think what it could be. Everything should be all done for them.”

  She looks up from her outfit arranging, with a soft smile. “It’s okay, Fraser. I know it's just business. Go do it, then you're done with her, right? You won't have to deal with her anymore.”

  “Yeah, true, but I don’t even know what it could be.”