Jessie

by Lori Wick

  "No, but if you forget and boss me around again, I'm not going to wait for your mother to find out. I'll put you on the stairs myself."

  Her eyes grew a little over this statement, but Seth did not sense that she was going to argue.

  /"You can getup from the stairs now," Seth said.

  He watched the little girl stand, but she didn't try to move. Seth wasn't sure if she didn't believe he had the right to dismiss her from this place of punishment or if she thought she was still in trouble.

  "We call you Seth," Clancy said suddenly.

  "Yes, you do," that man agreed, wondering where this had come from.

  A moment later, Clancy was gone. Hannah had come looking for her, and she had gone with her sister without a backward glance. Seth went back to work himself, but his mind was not on anything but Clancy. Somehow he thought her last statement might be significant, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out why.

  Jeanette, Heather, and Becky walked home from church together on Sunday, each with their own thoughts. They would probably discuss the sermon over dinner as they usually did, but at the moment Jeanette had Nate and Heather on her mind again. That man had sat with Bri, Danny, and Seth. He'd not come anywhere near Heather, but Jeanette had seen him glance her way several times.

  Jeanette had run out of patience. She was ready to launch a full- blown investigation of Heather's feelings on the matter and planned to do so as soon as they were home. However, she hadn't counted on Becky, who had some thoughts and ideas of her own.

  "Are you ever going to notice Sheriff Nate?" the cook asked the moment Jeanette's front door closed behind them.

  149"Why would I notice Nate?" Heather asked when she realized Becky was speaking to her.

  "Because he notices you. Haven't you seen it?"

  Heather stared at Becky in dumbfounded silence and then looked to Jeanette. That lady nodded ever so gently, and Heather looked stunned. She tried to recall even one time when Nate Kaderly had shown her any kind of preference and couldn't think of any. And then that time in the shop when Jeanette asked her about Nate came rushing to mind.

  "That day, Jeanette, when you asked me if Nate was sweet on me, what had you seen?"

  "Nothing too overt, Heather. He just tends to linger and talk to you if he has a chance."

  Heather looked very shaken by this. That had been months ago. "And you, Becky," she went on, her voice very sober, "what are you seeing?"

  "Just that he looks your way," Becky said plainly, almost wishing she'd kept her mouth shut. She hadn't meant to upset anyone.

  "I take it you don't want anything to do with him," Jeanette stated without censure.

  "It's not that. It's that he must think that I think that."

  Jeanette and Becky both took a moment to compute this. The sentence had been a mess, but they did catch her meaning.

  "So you do have feelings for him?" Becky asked, deciding to be clear.

  "I don't know if I have romantic feelings for him, but I do care. He's so very kind, and he's my brother in Christ. I would hate to think he finds me cold or apathetic. Nothing could be further from the truth."

  For a moment Heather looked as helpless as she felt. She had honestly believed she was not the type of woman who attracted men. It was not hard to make this deduction as no one in her 34 years had ever stepped forward in any way.

  "What will you do?" Jeanette finally asked.

  "I don't know.Idon't know what it all means."

  150"But you might welcome his attention?" Becky again went right to the point.

  "I don't know," Heather repeated, sounding confused.

  Her friends knew that enough had been said. Without revisiting the subject, the women moved toward the dining room and kitchen. Sunday dinner was not a short meal, but the topic of Nate and Heather did not come up again.

  "Good morning," Seth greeted Hannah as she came to the front counter on Tuesday morning.

  "Good morning," she repeated, not catching her father's smiling eyes as he watched her.

  Her hair was brushed, and she was dressed and ready for the day, but she was not awake. Nevertheless, she climbed up on the counter as she often did and watched her father sort the mail.

  "What are you doing today?" Seth asked.

  "Nothing."

  "When does school start?"

  She perked up a little bit with this question, and Seth knew he was onto something.

  "In a few weeks. I can read!"

  "That's great. What do you like to read?"

  "Mama has some books from when she was little. They were Grandma Wheeler's. I don't know all the words, but I like those."

  "Maybe you could read to me sometime."

  "You want me to?" Hannah asked, her face alight with pleasure.

  "I do want you to. Maybe when I stop for dinner today"

  "Maybe what?" Clancy asked, coming on the twosome and joining Hannah on the counter. It was something Jessie allowed as long as they weren't in a customer's way.

  "Hannah is going to read to me," Seth explained, only to draw a

  151huge frown from his younger daughter. Clancy directed this face at her sister, and Seth wondered what had just happened.

  "You'll learn, Clancy," Hannah said with a surprising measure of patience. "I didn't know how to read at your age either."

  "This year?" Clancy demanded.

  "Yes. I'll even help you."

  Clancy turned the frown on Seth, and even though he knew she was being demanding and difficult, he wanted to laugh. The fact that he'd been let in on yet another facet of his children's lives was delightful to him. He couldn't remember how old he was when he'd learned to read, but he did remember the first time he'd read an entire book. The accomplishment had given him such pride that after he blew out his lantern, he smiled into the darkness until he fell asleep.

  "I want reading too," Clancy said.

  "When Hannah reads to me?" Seth clarified.

  "Yes."

  "That's fine. If for some reason it doesn't work out today, then we'll plan on tomorrow."

  "Which book?" Hannah suddenly asked.

  "You can choose."

  "I have to ask Mama!" Hannah said, and jumped off the counter in lightning speed, racing for the storeroom where Jessie was working on the books.

  Clancy stayed, watching her father in silence, so Seth tried the same line of questioning.

  "What are you doing today?"

  "Nothing."

  "Are you excited for school?"

  "Only if Miss Bolton is going to teach me to read and not call me Maryann."

  "Why don't you like Maryann?"

  "My name is Clancy."

  The name Clancy floated through the air just then.

  "It sounds like your mother is looking for you," Seth said, impressed

  152when she got right down and went that way. He finished up with the mail and started on a few boxes that had arrived. Jessie had ordered some small items-hair combs and even some jewelry. He was in the midst of putting these away when he noticed a headache starting. Seth didn't get headaches or become ill very often and so did his best to ignore the pain, figuring it would soon pass.

  "Do you know where the tin pans are?" The questioning voice caused him to turn.

  "Yes, ma'am. Right over here."

  Seth saw to the woman's needs, but it was getting harder to ignore the headache. It was starting to throb in his temples, making his head feel ready to explode. By the time he waited on two more customers, even his ears were starting to feel full and miserable. This was the way Jessie found him.

  "Seth?" she said quietly, taking in his white face and confused eyes. "I have a headache," he said, not wasting any time.

  "How bad?"

  "Bad."

  "Come with me," Jessie said, noticing that he moved very slowly and without question. "Hannah," Jessie said when they passed her, "if someone comes in, tell them I'll be right back."

  "Where are you going?"

  "
No questions," her mother said, and Hannah, afraid of what she saw in Seth's face, kept her mouth shut.

  "Jessie?" Seth managed very quietly when she began to climb the stairs, but that woman didn't try to answer.

  "Come upstairs," she ordered him, albeit softly. "I want you to lie down."

  Seth obeyed mindlessly, not remembering much about the next few minutes. He was suddenly in the girls' bedroom, Jessie helping him with his shoes and clothing. When at last his head touched the pillow, he shuddered with Pain and worked to let his body relax. He felt covers on his chest and maybe Jessie's hand on his face, but when exactly he sank into blackness he wasn't sure.

  153"Hannah," her mother spoke quietly when she went back down the stairs. "Go find Doctor Ertz. Tell him he's needed here at the store. If you can't find him," Jessie began and then stopped. "Whether or not you find him, go tell Rylan that Seth is sick. Leave messages for people if you can't talk to them directly. Do you understand?"

  Hannah nodded, and Jessie knew she could trust her. Her daughter had been running errands and delivering messages for her for a very long time. She was efficient and serious about such tasks.

  Clancy had stayed quiet during the exchange between Jessie and Hannah, but as soon as Hannah left she spoke. "Where is Seth?" "He's in bed upstairs."

  "I want to go up."

  "You can, but you must not get near the bed or try to talk to Seth. He's sick."

  "What if he needs something?"

  "Come and tell me. Do not try to do anything on your own, anddo notask him questions."

  Clancy, sensing for once that all was not well, slipped quietly up the stairs. She found the bedroom door open and Seth very quiet on the bed. There was a chair by the door, and Clancy sat in it. She willed Seth to wake up and talk to her, but he didn't move. She wanted to talk more about reading and the book Hannah was going to read to them that very day. It didn't occur to her that Seth would not be up for reading for several days to come, so the little girl continued to sit and wait.

  "Can you hear me, Seth?" Rylan asked that man about an hour after he climbed into bed.

  "Rylan?"

  "Yes. How are you?"

  154"My head hurts."

  "Doctor Ertz has been here. He says the sickness could last several days."

  "His hands were cold," Seth mumbled and was gone again.

  Rylan looked over at Jessie, who stood at the footboard. "Do you want me to try to move him to my house?"

  "No, Rylan. The girls and I can keep track of him."

  "He might have needs, Jessie," Rylan stated bluntly without elaborating.

  Jessie shrugged, and Rylan knew that she would be up for anything. Clancy peeked around the corner where Jessie had sent her when they came up. Rylan spotted the action, and both adults went that way.

  "Hannah was going to read to Seth and me," she said, her own interest still very much on her mind.

  "Not today she's not. Maybe this evening Hannah can read to you and me, but Seth isn't going to be up for company today."

  Clancy did not look pleased over this, but Jessie had been gone from the store long enough and had to get back. Thanking Rylan, who exited through the storeroom, she went downstairs to check on Hannah and found her with Jeanette. They were getting along fine, but as soon as Jeanette left with her purchases, Hannah's next errand was to run to Camille Pallin's home. Lately, if Jeb was not available to help, Jessie sometimes called on Camille. Thinking about the man upstairs, Jessie knew she might very well need her in the next few days.

  "I thought you would be in bed," Becky said to Heather when she found that lady in the kitchen much later that evening.

  "I'm just having a last cup of tea."

  "Can't sleep?"

  "Too many thoughts."

  "I shouldn't have said to you anything about Sheriff Nate," Becky said, her voice telling of her disgust.

  155"I'm glad you did."

  "Why?"

  "I need to think about it. I need to be aware of others and their feelings."

  "You never saw it, Heather?" Becky asked again. "You really never noticed?"

  "No. I thought you and Jeanette were kidding."

  The women fell silent for a moment. Becky had made her own cup of tea, and they sat at the kitchen table, just one,lantern burning.

  "Are you afraid of getting hurt or giving the hurt?" Becky asked very gently, and Heather turned to stare at her.

  "Iamafraid," Heather whispered, the full realization hitting her. "I'm being governed by fear right now. I just saw it."

  Becky's humility since her belief in Christ was obvious to everyone who knew her. That woman now leaned forward a little, her face alive with interest. "What will you do, Heather-just pray or something more?"

  "I will pray, Becky, but I also must call the fear by its correct name: sin. I'm sinning against God when I fear in this way."

  "What other kind of fear is there?"

  "The kind that means awe and respect. The fear I have for God and His authority is all right; it's very good.Butthe other kind, the one you just put your finger on, is all wrong."

  "Let's pray about it right now," Becky suggested, and the women did just that. Their tea forgotten, the hour a nonissue, these two old friends bowed their heads and confessed their great need to God. They did not leave the kitchen to seek their rest until all was repented of and settled.

  "Here, Seth," Jessie coaxed that night. "Drink some of this."

  Seth complied, but the effort cost him. The doctor had said to keep water in him, and Jessie was doing her best. Seth's eyes opened after he drank. Seeing this, Jessie got a little more water into him.

  156"How's the head?" she asked, carefully mopping the water from his chin.

  "Bad."

  "Has this happened before?"

  "Never. It's hot in here."

  "I think it's you," Jessie said, rolling the covers off his chest a bit. Not until she did this did Jessie notice a scar on the side of his chest that she'd never seen before. Seth's eyes were closed again, so Jessie didn't try to ask him. For a moment she reached out and touched the old wound.

  Not wanting to get her mind going on all the possibilities, Jessie blew out the lantern and headed from the room. It might prove to be a short night, but she needed as much sleep as she could manage. Climbing in beside the girls in her own bed, she was asleep in less than a minute.

  a

  I can stay all morninghad been Camille's words.

  Jessie thought they sounded like music. She had sent the girls to be with Bri and then returned to Seth's side. That man had had a pretty good night, but his skin was very warm and Jessie, weary from interrupted sleep, took turns dozing in a chair and bathing Seth's face and chest with cool water.

  Rylan visited again, bringing a pot of food Bri had made. Doctor Ertz made another appearance as well with no change in treatment. Not until almost noon did Seth wake and say something.

  "Hannah?"

  "She's not here," Jessie said, standing so he could see her. "Did she read to me?"

  "Not yet. I'll tell her you're looking forward to it."

  "She's so sweet."

  "Yes, she is."

  "Where?"

  "She and Clancy went to Bri's."

  157Seth managed a smile.

  "They love Danny."

  When Jessie saw that she was losing him again, she coaxed a bit more water into him. He drank several good swallows before he fell back to sleep. Not until Jessie tried to move to put the water back on the table did she realize Seth had a fistful of her skirt in his hand. It took her fingers to unwrap his, and when she returned his arm to the bed, he rolled to his side and slept deeply.

  Jessie sank back into her chair, no longer needing to sleep but weary with wondering what their relationship would be like in the future. Lately it seemed to be all she thought about. She didn't want Seth back in her life, but he was here, and she wanted to make the best of it. Her curiosity over what he'd done and all the places he'd lived
was not so she could hold it against him but because she didn't like surprises. She wanted all the details on the table, not coming out in bits and pieces for years.

  Years.The word lingered in her mind. Would he be here for years? That was probably his plan. The girls would need him for years; that was certainly true. They were little more than babies right now. When they grew enough to start noticing boys, they would need their father's help in a way she couldn't give.

  Even her mother had been wise about that. She had sent Jessie at 13 years of age to have a talk with her father. Some of the things Hiram Wheeler had shared with his daughter had been rather frightening, but they'd also made her aware and wary. It had not been a stroke of luck or coincidence that Seth was the first man she'd ever been involved with. It had been by choice. She had kissed a few boys behind the schoolhouse-only kissed them-and those relationships had not been ongoing or serious. Serious had come many years later, and that was with the man lying sick in the bed. A man she didn't know quite how to handle.

  158"How are you holding up?" Rylan asked his wife when Dannywas down for a nap and the girls were drawing on paper in the living room.

  "Fine. They're awfully fun and sweet. I've never been asked so many questions in one day. In fact I plan to find out how glass is made because I don't know either."

  Simply delighted by her, Rylan bent and kissed Bri's mouth. "What was that for?"

  "You're still special."

  Bri looked at him, working to figure this out but unable to.

  "Did I never tell you how often I said that to Chas after you came to town?" Rylan asked.

  "I don't think you did."

  "I said it just about every time he checked with me."

  "That I was special?" Bri clarified.

  "Urn hm," Rylan said, leaning to kiss her again. "And I was right."

  Bri put her arms around her husband and held him close. Rylan held her back, neither one aware of the two sets of small eyes watching them with studied interest from the living room.

  "Is Seth all right?" Clancy asked when Rylan delivered the girls back at the end of the day.

  "He's still sleeping, but his fever is down."

  "Can we see him?"

  "Yes, but stay back away from the bed and don't ask questions." The girls started to run through the store, and Jessie told them to slow down. She then turned to Rylan.