Jessie

by Lori Wick

  "Please thank Bri for me."

  "I'll do that. I know she had fun."

  "Did they question her to death?"

  "Yes, but she didn't mind." Rylan had to laugh before adding, "She said she's going to find out how glass is made because they wanted to know and now she wants to know too."

  159Jessie joined Rylan in laughter and then thanked him again. Rylan said he would check on Seth the next day. Jessie locked the door behind him and took a few minutes to put the store to rights. By the time she went upstairs to the apartment, the girls were sharing the chair in Seth's room.

  "Has he been awake?" Jessie asked quietly.

  "No. He even snored a little."

  Jessie had to smile at them. Their faces were serious, and she could see they wanted him to wake up in the worst way.

  "Can he live here?" Hannah suddenly asked.

  "You mean all the time?" Jessie asked to buy some time to think.

  The little girl nodded but didn't look at her mother. Jessie hoped against all odds that meant it was a passing thought. She told the girls she was going to work on supper and was able to leave without gaining comment from either of them.

  160

  "I'VE MADE SOME BROTHfor you," Jessie said when Seth's eyes opened later that night. "Do you think you can manage it?"

  "I'll try"

  "Is the pain better?"

  "Yes. I'm tired."

  "I'll heat the broth and wake you if you fall back to sleep." "Did I miss the girls again?"

  "Yes, they're asleep," Jessie said, leaving without telling him how long they had sat in that chair and waited for him to stir. She went to the kitchen to heat the broth and thought about what Hannah had asked. She remembered that Clancy had said something about Seth living with them the first time she met her father. Seth had handled that very well. Half of her hoped that Hannah would bring the topic up again in Seth's company. She was almost certain to mention it, and some part of Jessie wanted to know what Seth would say.

  "Seth." Jessie called his name, holding the mug of warm broth. She ended up having to set it down so she could prop him up on his pillow. This woke him, "Here, drink this."

  Seth did as he was told and then thanked her wearily. Jessie got quite a bit into him before he started to fall off again. Jessie was sure

  161she'd seen the last of him, but his- eyes suddenly opened and found her.

  "I'm sorry for all the trouble, Jessie."

  "It's all right. You didn't mean to get sick."

  "Tell the girls I miss them."

  "I will."

  For a moment they looked at each other, and then Jessie asked, "Do you pray at times like this?"

  "Yes."

  "What did you pray?"

  "I just asked for help. The pain was pretty bad, and I didn't know quite what to do with it."

  "And do you think God helped you?" Jessie asked, not able to disguise the skepticism in her voice.

  "I didn't instantly feel better if that's what you mean, but I had peace. Each time my mind prayed, even in the worst of the pain, I knew peace."

  Jessie hadn't expected this and was surprised. She even had more questions she wanted to ask, but Seth's eyes were closed again. Leaving the room, she knew he would have a better night, which meant she would too. But unlike Seth, there was no peace for her. Questions rolled through her mind, and she didn't feel she had answers for any of them.

  "You look better," Rylan said when he visited the next afternoon. Seth was awake and sitting up against the pillows and headboard. There was little color in his face, and his messy hair and unshaved face were uncharacteristic for him, but he did look as though he was on the mend.

  "I am, thank you. It was a rough one."

  "We've been praying for you," Rylan said.

  "Thank you," Seth replied, and then realized he'd said that too fast. He wanted to know more. "What did you pray, Rylan?"

  162"That you would trust God no matter how poorly you felt, and that pleasing Him would be more important even than feeling better."

  The look of surprise and then thoughtfulness on Seth's face was not something Rylan could ignore.

  "How did you do?" Rylan asked.

  "In the midst of it, I just asked for His help, but now that I can tell I'm getting better, I simply want to feel good enough to get out of this bed."

  "Well, that's an honest feeling, but why do you want to get out of this bed? If it's simply to mend and get past the inconvenience of being sick, you're missing something."

  "There's so much I don't know," Seth admitted quietly. "I still think more about myself than anyone else."

  "That's a common temptation. God wants to be in the center and we need to get rid of anything that pushes Him out of the center. He won't stand for any other place."

  Seth nodded before saying, "I did remember to thank Him that I was sick, knowing He had a plan."

  "That's good. Keep that up. For however long this has you down, keep thanking God for that plan."

  Rylan might have had something to add to this, Seth could not be sure, but Clancy took that moment to join them. He enjoyed seeing his daughter, and Rylan left before Clancy did, but Seth determined to get back to the pastor on the topic they'd been on. He knew he had more to learn about thankfulness and God's plan, and he knew Rylan was just the man to teach him.

  By the time Jessie got to the apartment on Friday night, the girls were fully ensconced with their father. He was against the headboard of the bed. Hannah had claimed the footboard. Clancy was somewhere in the middle.

  "You can walk with us if you want," Hannah was saying.

  163"I'd like that. What time do you have to be there?"

  "Mama always sends us," the older girl answered. "I don't know the time."

  "Where do I send you?" Jessie asked.

  "To school! Seth is going to walk with us."

  "That's nice of him. Does he know you'll talk his ear off?" Jessie teased Hannah, and the little girl smiled.

  "Did you talk about it?" Clancy suddenly asked. "Is Seth going to live here?"

  Seth's eyes naturally swung to Jessie, but that lady was looking at her daughters. All plans to see what Seth would say flew from her head.

  "I'll discuss it with him tonight, and you're not to ask me about it40times. Come on now and help me with supper."

  Seth found himself alone just moments later, wondering what else he'd missed in the last four days.

  "What do I do now?" Heather asked during supper. "Sunday is coming. How do I proceed from here, knowing what I know?" "What do you want to do?" Becky asked.

  "Yes, Heather," Jeanette added. "Are you interested in Nate?"

  "If you mean in a personal relationship, I don't know, but I'm not going to be able to find out unless I talk with him." Heather paused and went on. "And that brings up another point. How is he interested in me when he doesn't know me?"

  "He's watched you, Heather," Jeanette said, "and your reputation has gone before you. He might find that you don't really share the same likes and interests, but he's willing to get close because he can see how special you are."

  "You want her to marry Nate, don't you, Jeanette?" Becky asked. "If she falls in love with him, yes. I think they would make a wonderful couple."

  "But then she'll move from here," Becky added quietly.

  164No one commented or answered. It was too soon for such thoughts, but the very nature of the conversation meant that it would have to come up again at some point. It simply wasn't a topic that anyone at the supper table wanted to think about.

  "I think I can come down in the morning, Jessie," Seth said when all got quiet that evening. Seth had made it to the living room for supper and was still sitting on the sofa. "I might not make it all day, but I can give you a little help."

  "Camille is coming in the afternoon, so don't overdo."

  "I don't know if I'll have much choice. I feel as weak as a child," Seth said in all sincerity. At the moment he didn't know where the strength
would come from to walk to the bedroom, let alone down the stairs come morning.

  "I think you should live here."

  Seth's mind had been drifting-he'd barely been aware of Jessie's presence-but this certainly brought his eyes to her.

  "Where did that come from?" Seth asked quietly, hoping she couldn't see the harsh beating of his heart.

  "The girls want you to. They want it very much."

  "I admire the way you take care of our daughters and put them first, Jessie, but you have to think of yourself too."

  "I think I'll be all right," she said, her mouth even turning up in one corner. "If I need an evening to myself, I'll take a walk or suggest one to you."

  Seth waited until her eyes came back to him and then said, "Are you sure?"

  "Yes."

  "What about the bed?" Seth asked, details coming to mind. "I can't just take the girls' bed from them."

  "They sleep with me and have for years. They keep their things in that room but never sleep there."

  165Seth hadn't known this. He wasn't sure it was such a great idea, but that would be the last thing he could say.

  "And I still have questions, Seth," Jessie went on. "I still want to know things."

  "I haven't forgotten."

  Jessie nodded. She knew what he meant. She didn't want the girls to know that they were talking about things from the past, but short of setting up a time to meet, there was no opportunity during the day to talk. And if she set up a meeting, the girls would know. They missed little that their mother did. Jessie had resigned herself to waiting until they were back in school all day, but it looked as though now she and Seth would be able to talk in the evenings.

  For a moment she thought about him being there every night and didn't know if she liked that idea. Knowing that the girls would be thrilled was a huge help. She might need to remind herself of that in the days to come.

  "He's going to live with us," Hannah whispered the moment her mother shut the door on Saturday night. "Mama said."

  "Seth is?" Clancy whispered back, wondering why no one told her.

  "What about Bri and Danny?"

  "I don't know. They have to stay with Pastor Rylan, but Seth is going to live here."

  The bedroom was silent for a moment, but Clancy wasn't done. "Will they kiss like Bri and Pastor Rylan?" she whispered back.

  "I don't think so. I don't think Mama likes kissing."

  "She kisses us," Clancy reasoned.

  "That's different. Mothers are supposed to kiss."

  Clancy had to think on this one, but it was getting hard. Saturdays were big days. The store was always full, and sometimes she had to help.

  166A jaw-popping yawn escaped her just as she thought of another question for Hannah, but she drifted off before she could voice it.

  Seth was nearly out of energy, but he had one thing to take care of before he turned in on Saturday night. Rylan had delivered his satchel to him, and Seth dug into the bottom of it until he'd found something wrapped in the sleeve of an old shirt.

  Moving carefully, not wanting to break it after all this time, Seth unwrapped it and studied it in the lamplight. It was just as he remembered. Moving before he could change his mind, he went back to the living room. Jessie was still on the sofa and looked up in surprise when he returned.

  "This is for you," Seth said, handing Jessie the item.

  Jessie reached without thought and took an exquisite perfume bottle from his hand. Her mouth opened a little. She stared at it and then at him.

  "Where did you?" she began and then stopped.

  "I was in a small town in Texas and spotted it."

  "When?"

  "A while ago-maybe five years."

  Jessie looked at the bottle again, studying the lovely design. The top was crystal and screwed snugly into place. The glass bottle was surrounded by ornate gold filigree and filled in here and there with precious stones. The sight of it nearly took her breath away.

  As she looked at it, the memories came pouring back. They had been married just a few weeks and talking in the bedroom. Jessie had gotten up to close the window and accidentally bumped into the shelf. Her grandmother's perfume bottle had tumbled to the floor and broken. Seth had told her they would replace it, but neither one of them had ever seen another one like it. Until now.

  "Thank you," Jessie whispered.

  "You're welcome. I'm sorry it took so long."

  167Seth didn't linger but went back to the bedroom. Jessie watched him, feeling things she did not understand. He wasn't supposed to be thinking of her that long ago. It wasn't what she'd imagined at all. It made staying upset with him and keeping her distance very hard. And on this night it made sleep hard. Jessie sat alone in the living room for much longer than she had planned.

  "How do you think they're doing?" Bri asked Rylan as they settled in for the evening, Danny getting sleepy in her lap.

  "I was wondering the same thing. Seth said that before he left Jessie to go to Texas, all they did was fight. Seth is not the same person, but if I had to hazard a guess, I would say that unless the things they fought over have changed, they're going to fight again."

  "And in front of the girls this tune."

  Rylan sat quietly for a moment, thinking about what he'd just said. Had he underestimated God and His saving ability by assuming that Seth would still fight with Jessie?

  "I didn't mean that quite the way it came out," he decided to add. "I don't automatically think that Seth and Jessie will fight, but in the past they argued, and those topics are going to come up again and cause some type of tension."

  "That makes sense. I mean, eight years is a long time. Jessie would have done some growing up over that time, but upsetting situations typically don't go away on their own."

  "What will you pray for?" Rylan asked.

  "That Seth will be such an example that Jessie will want Christ." "Maybe the girls will start down the path first."

  "Maybe," Bri said with a smile, thinking that God could do the most amazing things in the heart of a child or someone with childlike faith.

  168"Where are you going?" Hannah asked Seth when he came from the bedroom with his jacket on Sunday morning. He had just helped Jessie with the dishes, his one area of expertise in a house, and then noticed the time was getting late.

  "To church," Seth said, his Bible in hand.

  "Can I come?"

  This question, so artlessly put, stopped Seth in his tracks. He hadn't expected the girlstobe the least bit interested and didn't know what to do with this. He stared down at Hannah and then looked to Jessie, who was sitting at the kitchen table with coffee and the newspaper.

  "It's up to you," she said, having overheard.

  Seth studied his wife a moment and could see she was sincere. As he watched she went back to her paper and coffee.

  "Yes, you can," Seth said. "Are you ready to leave right now?"

  "Let me brush your hair, Hannah," Jessie got in before the little girl could answer.

  Hannah ran for the brush and stood still while her mother worked. Not until she was done did Jessie notice Hannah's dress was not a new one. "Will that dress be all right?"

  "It's fine," Seth said, not having noticed one way or the other, his mind still trying to take in what was happening.

  "Off you go," Jessie said, going back to the paper as soon as they disappeared out the door. Not two minutes passed before Clancy came from the bedroom and learned she'd been left out. It was some time before Jessie was able to get back to her paper.

  "I'm glad you came with me, Hannah." Seth had finally found words about halfway to the church.

  "Me too. Will we sing?" Hannah said, all but skipping along and even going so far as to take his hand.

  "We will sing. You might not know all the songs, so just do your best."

  169"Will you read your Bible?"

  "Yes. Pastor Rylan will teach a lesson today that's he's learned from the Bible."

  Hannah didn't answer or rep
ly to this, and that gave Seth a moment alone with his thoughts. Oh,God,his heart prayed.You have done this. You have given her interest and curiosity. Her questions might lead to You, Lord. Thank You for this wonderful little girl, this child of mine I don't deserve. Thank You that she wanted to come. Help me with her. Help me to have answers to her questions.

  "Oh, there's Heidi!" Hannah cut into these petitions. "I forgot I would see her."

  "Who is Heidi?"

  "Heidi Vick. We sometimes go to her house."

  "What do you do?" Seth asked, making the connection to Chas Vick, whom he'd met his first week back.

  "We play with her dog. His name is Buster. We don't have a dog."

  Seth was saved from replying because they were at the building. With Hannah's hand still tucked into his, the two went inside and sat down.

  Heather had done it. She had looked at Nate and waited for him to look her way. When he did, she smiled. Now the service was over, and he was headed her way. Heather thought her heart might pound out of her chest.

  Nate moved across the church, hoping to just strike up a conversation with Heather, but one look at her face told him this would not work. She looked strained and a little pale as she watched him approach. Thinking fast, he pulled his Bible out as soon as he got to her.

  "Heather, may I ask you a question?"

  "Yes," she said, realizing it came out in a whisper. She cleared her throat and said, "Certainly."

  170"Did you get that last reference Rylan gave? I think it was in Romans."

  "I did get it," Heather said, opening her Bible as well to check her notes. "It was chapter 13, verses 1 and 2."

  "Thank you," Nate said, using a pencil to make note of it. Heather watched him write, close his Bible, and look up at her. "Busy week coming up?" he asked.

  "I don't think so. We're not overrun with orders right now." "Does the time ever drag?"

  "If it gets too quiet, one of us leaves, and there's always plenty for one to do."

  This said, a short silence stretched between them, but Heather was starting to relax.

  "How about you, Nate? Busy week?"

  "Not that I know of, but you never can tell."

  "Are you ever afraid?" Heather asked, swiftly becoming herself and in the process completely forgetting that this man was interested in her.