Free to Love

by Leah Atwood

  A stream of sunlight penetrated his eyesight. He’d been so lost in his thoughts, he hadn’t heard the church door open. At first, he only saw the green fabric of a dress. Was it Josie? He was almost afraid to look up. His gaze traveled upward, landing on flawless, pale ivory skin and the greenest eyes he’d ever seen. He gulped and his stomach flipped.

  The woman walked closer to him, stopping two pews behind where he stood.

  “Thank you for joining us, Miss Pearson.” Sheriff Daniels extended a hand, and the woman shook it.

  So this was Josie. She was nothing as he’d imagined. There wasn’t a single ordinary thing about her appearance, plus she was younger than he’d expected. For some reason, he’d envisioned a woman older than him, but Josie looked to be twenty, if a day.

  “Cord McGraw.” He stuck out his own hand after he introduced himself.

  “Josie Pearson. Nice to meet you.” There was a slight waver in her voice, but Cord thought she hid it well.

  The sheriff addressed Josie, his features softening. “Miss Pearson, I’ll give you time alone with Cord. I’ll be just outside the doors, should you need me.”

  “Thank you, but I believe we’ll be fine,” she said after darting a glance Cord’s way.

  Left alone, they stared at each other for a few awkward moments.

  “Shall we sit?” Cord broke the silence and motioned to the pew between them.

  “Yes.” Josie took a step and stumbled. Automatically, Cord reached out a hand to steady her. “I’m sorry. Typically, I’m not so clumsy, but I confess I’m nervous.”

  “Understandably so.” His indifference already was becoming difficult to maintain. Once Josie took a seat, he sat also, keeping several feet between them.

  “This is an extremely peculiar situation, one in which I never could have imagined myself.” Her hands clamped together in her lap.

  “I can honestly say the same.” So far today, he’d spoken more words than he had the whole past week.

  Josie raised an eyebrow. “As an outlaw or marrying a stranger?”

  He chuckled for the first time in months. “Both, I suppose you could say.”

  “May I be frank?”

  Her green eyes held him captive. “Please do.”

  “I’ve always considered myself a rather good judge of character, and I don’t have a sense that you’re a bad person.” She unclamped her hands and laid one on the pew top in front of her. “Sheriff Daniels says until your theft, you had no prior run-ins with the law. Is that correct?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He braced himself for the next question.

  “Then what made you start?” There was no judgement in her tone, and that took him by surprise.

  Sighing, he decided honesty was best. It hadn’t mattered to the law, but maybe it would to her. “My boss owed me two months’ worth of pay. When I asked about it, he claimed he’d fallen on hard times and wouldn’t have the money until after roundup.”

  “Was that a lie?” She tilted her head, showing full interest in his version of the story.

  “Yes. I, and a few of the other men, found out where he kept his money stashed. One night we’d had enough and broke into his house, taking only what we’d rightfully earned.” Bitterness about the injustice of it all still ate at him.

  “Couldn’t the judge have shown leniency since you were owed that money? Or even jailed your boss for failing to pay?”

  A sarcastic laugh escaped his lips. “Mr. Bardell, my boss, had money and influence. My guess is that he paid off the judge to keep quiet.”

  “I’m truly sorry, Mr. McGraw.” She shifted in her seat. “Was there no reasoning with him?”

  “Maybe in time, but that was something of which I’d run out.” Visions of Coralie surfaced.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I sent my wages home to my mother. My father is a drunk and does nothing to provide for his family.” He licked his suddenly dry lips. “I have a little sister, Coralie, who is only seven. Without the money I secretly sent to Ma, Coralie would go hungry.”

  A frown surfaced on Josie’s face. “I’m so sorry.”

  “You see, I need my freedom and to find work again. My sister needs me.”

  “You’d risk a marriage of convenience to protect your sister? You’re not doing this to gain freedom?” Her expression was unreadable.

  “Miss Pearson, through marriage, I’d be exchanging one sentence for another. I’ve been a man alone for longer than I can remember and like it that way.” He flicked off a fleck of dust that settled on his pants. “I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, but in my situation, wouldn’t you do what’s necessary to ensure Coralie’s well-being?”

  “I understand, more than you may realize.” Josie drew in a long breath. “The reason I sought out this program is that there is a little girl whom I also wish to protect. Unfortunately, unless I marry, there is nothing I can do.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Josie unwittingly pinched her dress and twisted the fabric while she waited for Cord’s reaction. She’d had a good feeling about him, but when she’d told him she wanted to adopt, his face went ashen. This had to work—it was her last option other than begging someone to marry her. For Sissy’s sake, she would if it came to that.

  “You want to adopt?” he asked in a slow drawl. Dark eyebrows that matched the hair on his head formed a V-shape.

  “Just over a month ago, I found a young girl, Sissy, stealing food from the bakery’s kitchen. Come to find out, she’d run away from the orphanage. I fell in love with her, but was forced to give her back. No child should have to live in a children’s home if there’s an adult willing to love and raise them, but the board sees it differently.” Her words came out rushed and she paused to catch her breath.

  She did love Sissy so. And if this marriage happened, then that love for Sissy would have to be enough to sustain her since Cord had implied his negative thoughts on marriage. As much as she wanted a husband to love and love her in return, some things weren’t meant to be.

  “Would I assume the role of a father?” His eyes, full of questions, searched hers.

  “Ideally, yes.” She held a breath.

  Cord ran long fingers through his hair and sighed. “I don’t know much about being a parent. I probably wouldn’t make a very good one.”

  Scooting closer to him, she let out her breath and took hold of his arm. “Consider what you’re willing to do for Coralie. Please, Mr. McGraw.”

  He was silent for a long time. “I suppose if we’re going to have a family, you should call me Cord.”

  A wide smile spread across her mouth. “You mean it? You’ll do it?”

  “Yes. Seems to me, we can both help each other.”

  “Thank you.” She removed her arm from him. Relief as she’d never known made her feel weightless. In reality, she’d held the cards for Cord’s freedom, but his agreeing to adoption meant a lot.

  “I will need to find employment.”

  “You can help in the bakery. There’s always plenty to do.”

  Cord scowled. “A man has his pride, Josie. May I call you Josie?” She nodded, amused, but pleased, with the unexpected manners from the so-called outlaw. “With all due respect, I’ll not take a paycheck from my wife. I’ll find a way to earn money.”

  “Do you have a problem with me owning a bakery?” She bristled. It was a sensitive subject for her.

  “No, ma’am. I think it’s wonderful you’ve taken charge of your life. There are few opportunities for women, and were there more, maybe my Ma wouldn’t have spent her life so miserable.” His gaze narrowed. “That being said, I’ll not be reliant on a woman. A man should provide for his family.”

  Her offense vanished. Cord was proving to be quite the interesting man, nothing like she could have guessed. “Max, down at the livery, is looking for help.”

  “I’ll speak with him at the first chance.”

  “Does a man’s pride allow him to live in a home attached to his w
ife’s business?”

  Cord gave her a wry smile. “Sometimes a man doesn’t have much of a choice.”

  They continued to talk for another thirty minutes, laying out their expectations and making plans.

  “Shall I summon the sheriff?” Cord stood.

  “Yes.” She was nervous, but still convinced she was doing the right thing. After talking to Cord for this time, she’d decided they’d at least have a companionable relationship, if not one of love.

  Cord stepped outside, and after ten minutes, a variety of thoughts began to plague Josie while she waited. The longer he was gone, the more her doubts increased. Marriage was an enormous commitment, and she feared that, maybe, she was entering it for the wrong reasons. But hadn’t people married for much less noble reasons and still had a fulfilling life? She pinched the bridge of her nose.

  “Stop second guessing yourself.” She stretched her legs before standing and then paced the length of the aisle.

  What was taking so long?

  After what seemed like hours later, the door finally opened. Sheriff Daniels walked in first, followed by Cord. And then the minister.

  She gulped.

  “I understand there’s to be a wedding.” Pastor Mire eyed her with concern and approached her, standing only inches away, while the sheriff and Cord talked alone near the back of the church. He lowered his voice so that only she could hear. “Are you sure about this, Miss Pearson? Must I remind you this man is a convicted criminal?”

  The minister’s haughty tone served the opposite purpose. Rather than sway her away from her decision, it quelled her doubts. “I’m quite aware of Cord McCall’s past, a past that goes beyond his conviction.”

  She couldn’t explain why she was so insistent to stick up for him, but from what she’d seen, it was about time someone stood by him. Pastor Mire didn’t have time to respond further because Cord and the sheriff were right behind him.

  Cord looked at her, his features blank. Where was the man she’d conversed with so easily? Her stomach tightened. This will all be worth it in the end. She had to believe it. A wave of exhaustion hit her. The constant vacillating was tiring.

  “Are you ready, Miss Pearson?” Sheriff Daniels looked at her, his lips clamped with impatience.

  “Yes.”

  Pastor Mire stood at the front center of the church. “Mr. McGraw and Miss Pearson, please stand before me and join hands.”

  From the corner of her eye, she saw Cord blink. His jaw was locked, but he walked forward. She took the few steps to him, afraid to meet his eyes, for fear of what she might see. When he took her hand, she dared a glance upward and was rewarded with a smile, albeit a very brief and subtle one. Her stomach settled.

  Not even five minutes later, she became Mrs. Cord McGraw.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  “Here is your first two weeks’ pay.” Max Stein handed the bills to Cord.

  “Thank you.” Cord took them, folded the money, and tucked it neatly in his pocket.

  “You earned it.” Already back to working, Max looked up from the mare he was brushing. “Finding reliable help has been difficult. Most the men want to be out on the range, and the younger boys still in town are distracted too easily.”

  Cord fingered the money in his pocket. After months of having nothing, his wages made him feel like a man again. Dismissed until Monday, the livery only opened on an emergency basis on Sundays, he grabbed the letter he’d set aside that morning. He left the livery and walked down the street to the post office.

  When he walked in, he was met with a sneer from Alan Middlebrooke, the postmaster. He shrugged it off, accustomed to the varying level of welcome. There were a few folks in town who were quite vocal in their distaste of the Freedom Bride program. Alan was one of them. Cord didn’t rightly care what the naysayers thought, beyond concern for its negative impact on Josie. Fortunately, the dissenters were the minority, and most of Mucksbe seemed accepting, if a bit hesitant of the program. Truth be told, a good many of them probably had their own shaded pasts that happened to still be kept hidden.

  “Good evening, Mr. McGraw. What can I assist you with today?” Nasally condescension filled the air.

  “I need to mail a letter.” Last night, he’d composed a letter to his Ma and took it to work so he could mail it once his shift ended. He tucked some money into the envelope and handed it to Alan.

  “That will be two cents.”

  After handing over the money, he rushed to leave the stifling building. Next door was the telegraph building, where he was met with a much warmer welcome.

  “Any reply yet?” he asked Edwin Marks, who ran the shop.

  “Not yet.” Edwin shook his head. “I know it’s not what you wanted to hear.”

  Not at all, but better than receiving bad news, he supposed. He’d sent Ma a telegram the day he was freed, but hadn’t received any reply. There was a chance she didn’t go to town in the last few weeks. He prayed that was the only reason for a delay, even as Coralie’s safety and health weighted heavily on his mind. If only he had the full freedom to ride out of town, and keep going until he reached them, but that would take a good three days, well outside his allowed fifteen miles.

  “Thank you. Have a good day.” He tipped his hat and left. If he didn’t hear anything from Ma soon, he’d have to find an alternate means to contact her. Next payday, maybe he could hire someone to pay her a visit.

  He crossed the street and walked into the mercantile. There were several purchases he needed to make, including a new set of clothing. After he’d been arrested, he’d not been allowed to reclaim his belongings, including clothes, so all he had were the clothes he’d been wearing. He walked to the rear corner of the store, where a small stock of ready-made clothes hung from a rack. If he wanted more variety, he’d have to travel to Dallas, but fortunately for him, he was a simple man—he had no problem picking out a new outfit from what was available.

  Light glinted off an object on a shelf as Cord carried his clothing to the counter. He turned his head, following the bright reflection, and saw a handheld mirror set in a bronze frame. Ornate flowers bordered the glass, and it was very pretty. Josie would love it.

  The mirror she used was cracked, something he’d noticed their first evening together. He picked up the mirror and looked for a price, wanting to do something nice for Josie, the woman who restored his faith in people. Even though she was gaining something from this marriage, she still had taken a chance on him. Marriage to a stranger, or at all for that matter, had sounded like a different sort of prison, but he’d been wrong. Josie was the most delightful woman he’d ever met.

  She’d given him a welcoming place to call home. Until he met her, he’d never known what it was like to live in a house full of laughter and joy. To come in from a long day at work and have a companion with whom to share his time. At some point in the last two weeks, he’d begun to look forward to their evenings. After his work ended, they’d have a short time together before the bakery reopened for evening hours. Most nights, he’d help her, cleaning dishes or whatever she needed. He simply enjoyed being around her and hadn’t realized how forlorn his life was till Josie filled that loneliness.

  The price on the mirror was more than he could afford. It would cost most of the money that remained after he’d sent money to Ma and purchased what he needed. He carried the mirror to the counter anyway. Josie deserved nice things—she was always looking out for others and rarely did so for herself. Just last night, he’d caught her giving away a free meal to a family who’d recently lost their mother.

  By the time he walked through the back door, packages in hand, he doubted his decision and wondered if his gift was too extravagant. He’d never bought a gift for anyone other than Ma and Coralie.

  “Welcome home.” Josie glided into the room, a white apron tied over her serviceable brown calico dress. “I was just about to open the bakery for the evening hours.”

  Her gift would wait until the bakery was closed for t
he day. He tilted his head down toward the packages. “Let me put these away, and I’ll come help.”

  Josie looked at him, a peculiar expression on her face. For a moment, he thought he’d offended her in some way, but then she smiled, shy-like and innocent. “I’ll wait for you.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  Josie sat down in her rocking chair, her sewing basket beside her. Yesterday, she’d ripped a hole in her dress when she was down on her knees scrubbing the floor, which was an arduous task she did not care for, but it had to be done. She wore her other dress today, but the damaged one still needed to be repaired.

  While she threaded a needle, Cord stoked the fire. Abnormally cold temperatures for April had moved in three nights ago, deeming the fire necessary for warmth.

  “Will you be awake much longer?” He straightened his back, stood upright.

  “I imagine so.” She poked the needle through the drab fabric. “There’s something I wish to discuss with you.”

  “I’ll bring in enough wood to see us through the night, and then we can talk.” Not waiting for an answer, he went outside.

  Her eyes watched the door, waiting for his return. She cherished their time together and looked forward to it. It hadn’t taken her long to discover that Cord wasn’t much of a talker. Oh, he was cordial and friendly to most, as long as they didn’t give him reason not to be, but he was a man of few words.

  Except for with her. They’d yet to run out of things to talk about. Spending time with him gave her cozy, happy feelings, like that of watching a kitten lap at warm milk. Cord’s presence was comforting, not at all threatening as a few of Mucksbe’s residents had suggested behind closed doors and whispered conversations. The more she knew him, the harder it became to reconcile him with his crime. If ever a man didn’t belong in jail, it was Cord.

  She looked up at the sound of a door banging closed. Cord carried armfuls of split logs and dropped them by the fireplace.